Saint Theresa : the history of her foundations

SAINT THERESA

THE
HISTORY OF HER FOUNDATIONS

CAMBRIDGE UNIVERSITY PRESS

FETTER LANE, E.G.
C. F. CLAY, MANAGER

: 100, PRINCES STREET
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Reproduced by kind permission of Mr E, Nash

PORTRAIT OF SAINT THERESA

From the portrait in the possession of the Discalced Carmelite Nuns of Valladolid

Father Jerome Gracian, being her Superior, caused the original to be
made, as he says, "to mortify her and because otherwise there would have
been no portrait of her at all," by a lay Brother, Juan de la Miseria, who
was but a poor artist. It is said that when the Saint saw it, she said
laughingly to the artist, "God forgive you, Brother John.; after making
me go through no one knows what, you have turned me out ugly and

blear eyed."

SAINT THERESA

THE

HISTORY OF HER FOUNDATIONS

Translated from the Spanish

by
SISTER AGNES MASON, C.H.F.

with a Preface by
THE RT. HON. SIR E. M. SATOW, G.C.M.G.

Cambridge

at the University Press
1909

THE INSTITUTE OF MEDIAEVAL STUDIES
10 cLMSLEY PLACE

TORONTO 6, CANADA,

OCT3 11831

CamfartDge:

PRINTED BY JOHN CLAY, M.A.
AT THE UNIVERSITY PRESS.

«M

TO THE
RIGHT REVEREND CHARLES GORE, D.D.

LOED BISHOP OF BIEMINGHAM

THIS BOOK IS DEDICATED

BY THE COMMUNITY OF THE HOLY FAMILY
IN GEATEFUL DUTY TO ITS VISITOE

WHO WAS ITS FIEST WAEDEN
AND TO WHOM THE COMMUNITY OWES

IF NOT ITS FOUNDATION
YET THE BEST PAET OF ITS FOUNDATIONS.

PREFACE

IN the first volume of the works of Saint Teresa de Jesus,
published by the pious care of D. Vicente de la Fuente,
are contained the autobiography of this wonderful woman
and the series of chapters in which she narrates the incidents
that accompanied her successful efforts to establish convents
and monasteries of the reformed rule of the Carmelite order.
The juxtaposition is significant. In the one we have the
history of a soul, in its growth towards maturity, in the other
that of the practical work accomplished by the personality in
which that soul was enshrined, after it had emerged from the
chrysalis stage into that of the perfect saint. Taken together
they teach the invaluable lesson that holiness of character on
this earth finds its aim and object realized in practical work
for the good of others.

Teresa de Ahumada as she was called in the world was
born, the daughter of pious parents, at Avila in the year
1515. Her father, she tells us, was of great charity to the
poor and pitifulness for the sick and for servants. No one
had ever been able to persuade him to own a slave, for he
pitied them too much; one belonging to a brother of his
being in the house, he was as good to her as if she had been
one of his children. He said that her not being free over-

71/6

viii Preface

whelmed him with pity. He was most truthful ; no one ever
heard him swear or grumble; and most honourable. Her
mother a woman of many virtues, and a great invalid.
Though of great beauty it was never heard that she made
account of it; sweet-tempered and highly intelligent. She
took great care to teach her children to pray, and to be
devoted to Our Lady and to certain saints. Teresa was one
of twelve children, all of whom, she says, except herself,
resembled their parents in virtue. One of her brothers,
nearest herself in age, was the dearest, though she loved them
all and they her. They used to read together the lives of the
saints, and when she saw what sufferings they underwent for
God, she thought they bought very cheaply the privilege of
going to enjoy Him, and wished greatly to die like them, not
because she loved Him, but in order so speedily to enjoy the
great happiness that she read there was in heaven. She
consulted with her brother about the means of obtaining it.
They agreed to go to the land of the Moors, begging their
way thither, in order that there they might be beheaded.
They were frightened when they found in what they read
that punishment and glory lasted for ever ; they used to talk
much of this, and took pleasure in repeating 'for ever, for
ever, for ever.' "When I saw it was impossible to go where
they would kill me for God's sake, we arranged to become
hermits, and in a garden attached to the house we tried, as
well as we could, to build us hermitages of little stones,
which immediately tumbled down, and so we found no way
of attaining our desires. I gave alms as well as I could, but
it was little. I sought to be alone in order to say my
prayers, which were many, especially the rosary, to which
my mother was much attached, and she made us so also.
I was very fond of playing at convents with other little

Preface ix

girls and of pretending to be nuns, and it seems to me that
I wished to be one, though I did not wish it as much as
the other things of which I have spoken." The simplicity
and sincerity of the saint are transparent in these stories of
her childhood.

Her mother died when she was twelve years of age. The
saint records how after this she fell under the influence of a
relation, and fell away from her early religious inclinations.
Then she contracted a friendship with a wise and holy nun,
and was gradually attracted towards a conventual life. At
the age of eighteen she entered the noviciate at the monastery
of the Incarnation close to Avila, and took the veil a year
later. Then she fell ill, and had to be taken home. Her life
was despaired of, and she returned to the Convent, where for
three years she lay helpless, till at last her health was
restored to something like what it had been before. There
she remained for another eighteen years, becoming more and
more dissatisfied with the semi-worldly life of a nun under the
relaxed rule, till at last she was inspired with the will to
issue forth and live a life of poverty and self-denial in the
first convent founded by herself in accordance with the
ancient strict rule of the Carmelites, dedicated to Saint
Joseph of Avila. The following pages relate the history of
the other foundations she carried out in the sequel, up to that
of Saint Joseph of Saint Anne at Burgos, whence she started
to return to Avila, but died at Alba de Tormes, literally, so
say the pious chroniclers, in the odour of sanctity, on the
4th October 1582.

The most famous of books of devotion was written by a
monk for the use of monks, but it has nevertheless for
centuries past been the favourite spiritual reading and
inseparable companion of innumerable lay people, both men

a 5

x Preface

and women. Saint Teresa, in the course of her narrative,
turns aside to instruct the prioresses how to govern those
whom they have to guide in the path of perfection. She
dwells on the necessity of endeavouring to conform the will to
the Divine Will, of sacrificing self-love and self-satisfaction,
of complete detachment from all worldly things, on the danger
of sentimentalism and exaggeration in religion, to which she
thinks women are especially prone. She does not shun the
use of homely language, as where in speaking of obedience,
she says "if you have to be employed in domestic duties, as
for instance in the kitchen, remember that the Lord goes
about among the pots and pans, helping you in all things."
The counsels of Saint Teresa are of practical value, not
only for nuns, but also for those who live in the world, not
only for Roman Catholics, but also for ourselves.

E. M. SATOW.
JULY 1909.

TRANSLATOR'S NOTE

THE History of the Foundations is a sequel to Saint
Theresa's Life, written by herself in obedience to her
confessor. The Life brings the story up to the completion
of the first foundation, that of St Joseph's Convent at Avila;
and here the History of the Foundations takes it up.

While the Life is the more important work as regards
instruction in the spiritual life, the Saint's great treatise on
Prayer being intercalated between two narrative chapters, the
Foundations is the more interesting from the point of view
of secular history. The same qualities which make St
Theresa's teaching priceless to those who desire instruction in
spiritual things give also a very high value to her accounts of
ordinary matters. She not only loved truth for its own sake
and spoke it readily against herself; but she also was able to see
it as few people can, in both inner and outer matters. She had
a quite extraordinary insight : an absolute accuracy in noting
detail, together with a keen logical faculty for appreciating
the bearings of the facts she noted. And she also possessed
in a high degree the power of putting her thoughts into words
clear and vigorous, if not always concise. She was determined
that her readers should understand exactly what she meant, in
matters of any importance, and she cared little what might be

xii Translator's Note

thought of her style. If need be, she would write parenthesis
within parenthesis to guard against misunderstanding. If
there are passages which are really obscure, this is, no doubt,
because, as she says, she wrote in odd scraps of time and
never read over her MS. Hampered though she was by the
psychology of the time, which she obediently and humbly
accepted, although her own was far in advance of it, she yet
describes (e.g.) the difference between one state of trance and
another just as a modern observer describes the behaviour of
plant tissues under different stimuli. And what she could
accomplish in matters so exceedingly difficult to speak of at
all, she effected with ease in the ordinary matters of life. So
that her accounts of events and people and things are of quite
first-rate interest, both directly and indirectly. Directly, for
the reasons given above ; indirectly, from the light they throw
on her own character and on what Dr Sidgwick would have
called the Common Sense of the time : its moral judgements
and ways of looking at things.

Spain, too, in her time — the time of Mary and Elizabeth,
which in England is so familiar to us — is not known to us
ordinary English people as it deserves to be. And among
contemporary writings there can be none, I think, which
give more vivid pictures, more interesting or more amusing
glimpses of Spanish life, not only in the cloister, but in all
sorts of society: for the Saint, in her journeys and negotia-
tions, came across all sorts, from the king to the peasant.

For the following translation a better text has been
available than could be had before 1881 ; for in 1880 Don
Vicente de la Fuente, who had already been working at Saint
Theresa's writings for twenty years or more, brought out a
facsimile reprint of the original: and of this he made most

Translator's Note xiii

careful use for his edition published in 1881. Of the con-
siderable number of restored readings in this edition, a good
many are of real and substantial interest; and taken together,
they shew clearly that the Saint's writings had, from early
times, been "edited" with a view to the edification of the
faithful. It is from this 1881 edition, with la Fuente's notes,
that the present translation has been made.

My thanks are due first of all to the Bishop of Gibraltar
for much help and encouragement without which I should
probably not have attempted the work : to Mr Cunninghame
Graham for help in shewing each Foundation on the map, and
for other information : to Major Martin Hume for two
valuable notes : to Miss Ellen Conant, for photographs which
she made on purpose for this book: to Messrs Garzon for
permission to reproduce their photograph of Granada: to
Senor Arteaga for his translations of a few obscure passages :
but above all to Sir Ernest Satow, who has allowed me to
consult him on all sorts of difficulties, especially in the
translation, sparing no time or pains to get the smallest point
right. I know that there are clumsinesses, and I cannot
hope that there are no slips in the translation : but that
there are not more is owing to his knowledge and care.

* AGNES MASON.
Community of the Holy Family.

JULY 1909.

CONTENTS

PAGE

PBEFACE vii

TRANSLATOR'S NOTE . . xi

CHAP.

Prologue ........ 3

I The Foundation of St Joseph of Carmel at Medina

del Campo. How this and the other Founda-
tions came to be made ..... 7

II How our Father General came to Avila, and what

came of his visit ...... 12

III How the Convent of St Joseph at Medina del

Campo came to be planned . . . .16

IV Of certain graces which the Lord bestows on

the nuns in these Convents. Counsel to the
Prioresses in dealing with them ... 25

V In which certain cautions are given concerning

prayer and revelations. It is profitable reading

for those who are occupied in active work . 29

VI Of the harm it may do spiritual people not to

know when to resist the spirit. Of the soul's
desire for Communion, and the delusions there
may be in this. Contains matters important to
those who are in charge of these Convents . 38

xvi Contents

CHAP. PAGE

VII How to deal with melancholic nuns. Needful for

Prioresses 51

VIII Counsels in regard to revelations and visions . 58

IX Of the Foundation of St J'oseph's at Malagon . 63

X Of the Foundation at Valladolid of the Convent of

the Conception of our Lady of Carmel . . 65

XI Continues the story of Dona Casilda de Padilla

and how she succeeded in carrying out her holy
desires for the Religious Life .... 73

XII Of the life and death of Beatriz of the Incarnation,

a nun whom the Lord led to this same house.
She lived so perfect a life arid her death was
such that she ought to be had in remembrance 79

XIII How and by whom was founded the first House of

Barefoot Carmelite friars, in 1568 ... 84

XIV Continues the account of the first Foundation of

friars : and tells something of the life which
they led there, and of the good work which our
Lord began in those parts, to the honour and
glory of God .88

XV Of the Foundation of the Convent of the glorious

St Joseph in the city of Toledo, in 1569 . . 94

XVI In which, to the honour and glory of God, are

narrated some things which took place in the
Convent of St Joseph at Toledo . . . 103

XVII Of the Foundation of the two Monasteries at

Pastrana, the monks' and the nuns'. This was

in 1569 107

Contents

xvn

CHAP. PAGE

XVIII Of the Foundation of St Joseph's at Salamanca,

in 1570. Weighty counsels for Prioresses . 116

XIX Continues the account of the Foundation at

Salamanca. ....... 124

XX Of the Foundation of the Convent of our Lady of

the Annunciation at Alba de Tormes, in 1571 . 132

XXI Of the Foundation of the Carmelite Convent of
the glorious St Joseph, at Segovia. It was
founded on St Joseph's Day, 1574 . . .141

XXII Of the Foundation of the Convent of the glorious
St Joseph del Salvador at Veas, on St Matthias'
Day, 1575 146

XXIII Of the Foundation of the Carmelite Convent of
the glorious St Joseph in the city of Seville.
The first mass was said on the Feast of the
Blessed Trinity, 1575 158

XXIV Continuation of the Foundation at Seville

XXV

XXVI

Continues the account of the Foundation at
Seville. Of the first nun who joined the
Convent, and of her remarkable history.

165

Continues the account of the Foundation at
Seville, and what took place in moving into
a house of the nuns' own 175

181

XXVII Of the Foundation of Caravaca, on the first of
January, 1576. The Convent was dedicated to
St Joseph 189

XXVIII The Foundation of Villanueva de la Jara

201

XV111

Contents

CHAP.

XXIX

XXX

XXXI

Of the Foundation of St Joseph's of our Lady of
the Street, at Palencia, on King David's Day,

lOoU .•••••••»

The Foundation of the Convent of the Blessed
Trinity, at Soria, in 1581. The first mass was
said on the Day of our Father Saint Elisha

PAGE

223

238

Of the Foundation of the glorious St Joseph of
St Anne's, at Burgos. The first mass was said
on April 19th, within the Octave of Easter
Day, 1582 246

INDEX

277

LIST OF ILLUSTRATIONS

Portrait of Saint Theresa ..... Frontispiece
Carmelite Monastery at Avila to face p. 4

Medina del Campo ....... „ „ 16

Toledo ......... n n 94

Segovia ......... „ „ 142

Cordova Bridge . . . . . . . „ „ 170

Palencia ......... „ „ 224

Torre de la Vela, Granada ..... „ „ 246

Carmelite Convent at Granada . . . „ „ 250

Carmelite Convent at Granada . . . . „ „ 252

Map .......... At end

The Foundation at Granada was made in January 1582, under
St Theresa's direction, by Sister Anne of Jesus.

BOOK OF THE FOUNDATION

OF HOUSES OF REFORMED CARMELITES

MADE BY SAINT THERESA

The original MS. in the Escorial bears in a clear hand-writing
the following inscription : ORIGINAL BOOK OF THE HOUSES
FOUNDED IN SPAIN BY THE GLORIOUS VIRGIN SAINT
THERESA DE JESUS ACCORDING TO HER REFORMED
RULE, written with her own hand : Library of the Escorial, for a
perpetual memorial. The original is, however, not kept in the
library, but in the relic chamber.

PROLOGUE

BESIDES what I have read in many places, I have seen by
experience the great blessing which it is for a soul to continue
in the practice of obedience. In this, I believe, lies the secret
of continually making progress in virtue and covering the pro-
gress with humility : in this lies our security from the doubt,
which it is well for us mortals to be exposed to during this
life, whether we are wandering from the path to heaven. In
this is to be found that peace so highly prized by souls who
desire to please God. Because if they have really given them-
selves up to this holy obedience, and yielded their judgement to
it, seeking to have no other opinion than that of their confessor,
or, if they are in Community, that of their Superior, the devil
ceases to assail them with his incessant disquietudes, because
he finds that he comes off loser rather than gainer thereby.
Likewise our own restless motions, so eager to get their own
way and even to overmaster our good sense in matters of
liking, — even these cease when they remember that the will
is definitely surrendered to God's will, through being subjected
to one whom they have chosen as God's representative.

Since His Majesty, in His goodness, has given me light to
recognize the great treasure contained in this precious virtue,
I have sought, however weakly and imperfectly, to possess

1—2

4 Prologue

myself of it. Often, however, I am hindered by the scant
virtue which I find in myself : for I see that it does not suffice
for some things which are commanded me. May the Divine
Majesty supply what is lacking for this present task !

While I was at St Joseph's at Avila, in 1562, the same
year in which this Convent was founded, I was ordered by
Father Fray Garcia de Toledo, a Dominican, who was then my
confessor, to write an account of its foundation1, together with
a good many other matters, which, if it should ever see the
light, whoever reads it will read there. Now, eleven years
later, in 1573, at Salamanca, my present confessor, Maestro
Ripalda, Father Rector of the Company of Jesus, having seen
the book about the first foundation, thought it would be to our
Lord's service if I wrote the story of the seven other convents
which, by our Lord's goodness, have since then been founded,
and also the beginning of the monasteries of Barefoot Fathers
of the primitive Rule : so he ordered me to do it.

It seemed to me an impossibility, because of the many
things I had to do, letters and other works which I was bound
to go on with because my Superiors had laid them upon me.
I was commending the matter to God, feeling it press rather
hardly, because I am good for so little, and have such poor
health that even without this additional burden I often felt
hardly able to endure my labours, poor creature that I am. Then
our Lord said to me, "My child, obedience gives strength2."
May it please His Majesty that so it may prove, and may He
give me grace enabling me to write, to His glory, the great
things He has done for our Order in these foundations !

1 [This book was her Life. Tr.]

3 In the original MS. these words are underlined and enclosed between
vertical lines.

CARMELITE MONASTERY AT AVILA

Prologue 5

It may be held for certain that they will be related with
absolute truthfulness, without the least exaggeration — to the
best of my knowledge — but exactly as they took place. For
even in the most trifling matters I would not tell an untruth
for anything in the world. And in this which I am writing
to the praise and glory of God, it would be altogether against my
conscience; and I should feel that I was not only wasting time
but deceitfully handling the things of God ; and it would be
a grave treason that He should be offended thereby instead of
being honoured. May it please His Majesty, lest I do so, to
hold me in His hand !

Each foundation shall have its separate story ; and I will
try to be brief, if I can : but my style is so heavy, that, with
all my good will, I am afraid I shall both weary myself and be
wearisome. My daughters, however, to whom this writing will
belong after my death, will be able to put up with this for the
love they bear me. In nowise herein do I nor have I any
reason to seek my own profit, but His praise and glory alone ;
for there will be found herein many things for which to praise
Him. May it, then, please our Lord that anyone who reads
this may be very far from attributing any of these things to me ;
for that would be against truth : but let them pray to His
Majesty to forgive me for having profited so little by all these
gracious acts. My daughters have much more cause to com-
plain of me for this than to thank me for what has been
done in the foundations. Let us all, my daughters, give
thanks to the Divine goodness for all the great things He
has done for us. For the love of Him, I beg of everyone who
may read this, one Hail Mary to help me to come out of
purgatory and to attain to the vision of Jesus Christ our Lord,
who liveth and reigneth with the Father and the Holy Ghost,
world without end. Amen.

6 Prologue

My memory being very poor, I have no doubt that I shall
leave out a good many really important things, and mention
others which might well be left out : indeed, it will all be what
could be expected from my stupidity and clumsiness, together
with my scanty leisure for writing.

I am bidden also, if opportunity presents itself, to treat of
some matters concerning prayer, and of the delusions about it
which sometimes keep Sisters who practise it from making
progress. I submit myself without reserve to what is held by
our Mother the Holy Roman } Church, and I intend that learned
and spiritual men shall see this writing before it comes into
your hands, my sisters and daughters. I begin in the name of
the Lord, invoking the aid of His glorious mother, whose
habit I wear, though unworthy, and of my glorious father and
lord St Joseph, in whose house I am : for to him is dedi-
cated this convent of Barefoot nuns, by whose prayers I
have been continually aided. In the year 1573, on the 24th
of August, which is the Day of St Louis, King of France.

To God be praise.

1 The word Romano, appears to be written over the y (and) ; and both
y and Eomana appear to be written by a different hand, in a writing
thicker and of later date.

JESUS MARY

HERB BEGINNETH THE FOUNDATION OF ST JOSEPH OF
CARMEL AT MEDINA DEL CAMPO

CHAPTER I

How this and the other Foundations came to be made.

FOR five years after the foundation of St Joseph's at Avila,
I lived there : and I think, as I now see, that they were
the most peaceful in my life ; for my soul often greatly misses
the tranquillity and repose I then enjoyed.

During that time there came in to he nuns several girls,
young in years, whom the world, as it seemed, held already as
its own, to judge from their style of dressing and living: but
the Lord drew them away quickly from those vanities and
brought them to His- house, endowing them with such per-
fection that it covered me with confusion. They made up the
number of thirteen, the number which it had been determined
not to exceed. I delighted to be among souls so holy and
pure, who had no other care but how to serve and praise our
Lord. His Majesty sent us there, without our begging, all
that we needed : and whenever we were in want, which was very

8 Chapter I

seldom, their joy was the greater. It made me praise our
Lord to see such high virtues, especially their disregard of
everything but His service.

I, who was Superior there, never remember troubling my
head about our necessities, for I held it for certain that the
Lord would not fail those who had no other care but to
please Him. And if sometimes, when there was not enough
for us all, I said that those must have it who most needed
it, each thought that she was not one, and so it went on until
God sent enough for us all. As regards the virtue of
obedience — which I prize most highly, although I did not
know how to practise it until these servants of God taught me
so that I could not fail to learn if I had any goodness in me,
— I could tell of a great many things which I saw them do.
Here is one which presents itself to me at this moment. One
day when we were in the refectory, we were helped to
cucumbers, and to me was given a very poor one, all rotten
inside. To test her obedience, and without really intending
it to be done, I called one of the cleverest and most sensible
Sisters there, and told her to go and plant the cucumber in
a little garden we had. She asked me, Was she to plant it
upright or sideways? I said, Sideways. She went and
planted it without its ever coming into her head that the
cucumber could only decay ; for doing it in obedience blinded
her natural understanding so that she thought it a very
reasonable thing to do. Another time I happened to give
one of them six or seven incompatible pieces of work, and
she accepted them in silence, esteeming it possible to do
them all.

We had a well of very bad water, according to those who
had tried it ; and it seemed impossible to get it to flow,
because it was very deep. When I sent for workmen to

Medina del Campo 9

attempt it, they laughed at me, saying that I should be
throwing away money for nothing. I asked the Sisters what
they thought. One of them said, "Let us try: our Lord
has to provide us with someone to bring us water and with
something with which to provide him food : it would cost His
Majesty less to give us water in the house, and therefore He
will not fail to do so." I, considering the great confidence and
boldness with which she said this, could not doubt; and I
ordered the work to be done, contrary to the wish of the man
who understood springs and had experience of water. And
it pleased the Lord that we should lead a pipe from the well
which brought us quite sufficient water, and fit to drink : and
they have it still. I do not relate this as a miracle — for I
could tell other things of that sort — but to shew what faith
those Sisters had; for all took place just as I have told it:
nor is it my first intention to praise the nuns of those mon-
asteries; for by the Lord's goodness, they all continue like
this up to the present day. And of these things and many
others I could write at great length, and indeed not unprofit-
ably, for it might sometimes animate those who come after to
imitate them : but if this should be to the Lord's service, the
Superiors might order the Prioresses to write it.

So I1 miserrima was living among these angelic souls — for
indeed they seemed to me nothing less — and they hid from
me no fault, even of thought. The graces and great aspira-
tions and detachment which the Lord gave them were very
great. Their joy was to be in solitude, and they assured me
that they never had enough of being alone; and so they
disliked visits, even from their relations. The one who was

1 In the original, the words esta miserable are scratched out and yo
substituted in an apparently different hand.

10 Chapter I

able to spend most time in a hermitage thought herself the
most lucky.

When I considered the strength and excellence of these
souls, and the courageous spirit, certainly passing that of
women, which God gave them to suffer and to serve Him,
I often thought that it must be for some great purpose that
the Lord committed to them such treasures. But what has
since come of it never entered my mind; for there was no
beginning which could have suggested the idea, and it would
have seemed an impossible thing. However, as time went on,
my desires to be of some good to some soul somewhere went
on increasing ; and I often felt like someone who is in charge of
a great treasure and desires that all should benefit by it, but
his hands are tied so that he cannot give it out. So it ap-
peared to me my soul was bound ; for the favours which the
Lord gave it during those years were very great, and it all
seemed ill bestowed upon me. With my own poor prayers
I continually served the Lord, and I took pains to get the
Sisters to do the same and to care for the good of souls
and the increase of the Church. Everyone who had to do
with them was always edified; and in this my great desires
found their satisfaction.

After about four years, or I think rather more, there came
to see me a Franciscan Friar, Fray Alonso Maldonado, a great
servant of God. He had the same desires as I for the good
of souls, and he was able to put them in practice, which
made me envy him greatly. He had lately come from the
Indies : and he began to tell me of the many millions of souls
who were perishing there for lack of teaching, and he gave us
a sermon and address exhorting us to do penance, and he
went away. He left me so sorely distressed at the perdition of
so many souls that I could not contain myself ; I betook myself

Medina del Campo 11

with many tears to a hermitage, and cried to our Lord, be-
seeching Him to grant me the means of doing something to
gain some soul for His service, since the devil was carrying off
so many; and that my prayer might avail something, since
that was all I could give. I greatly envied those who for the
love of our Lord could employ themselves in this work, even
if they suffered a thousand deaths. And so it is that when
we read in the lives of the saints how they converted souls, it
raises in me more ardour, more emotion, and more emulation
than all the martyrdoms which they suffered : for this is the
disposition which the Lord has given me. And it seems to
me that He values one soul which, through His mercy, we
might gain for Him by our labours and prayers, more than all
other services we could render Him.

Well, while I was going on in this great distress, one night
when I was in prayer, our Lord appeared to me in His accus-
tomed manner, and shewing me much affection, as though He
wished to comfort me, He said, "Wait a little, my daughter,
and you shall see great things." These words remained so
deeply imprinted on my heart that I could not put them from
me: and though for all my thinking over them I could not
guess what this might be, nor see any way in whicfy to imagine
it, yet they left me greatly comforted and with full assurance
that those words would come true. But in what way never
entered my imagination. Another half-year, I think, went by
in this way ; and then came to pass what I will now relate.

CHAPTER II

How our Father General came to Avila, and what came

of his Visit.

OUR Generals always live at Rome, and none of them had
ever come to Spain1, so it seemed impossible that one should
come now : but as nothing which our Lord wills is impossible,
His Majesty appointed that what had never yet been done
should be done now. When I knew of it, I was sorry, I think ;
because as I have already said in the history of the foundation
of St Joseph's, that house, for the reason I there gave, is not
subject to the Carmelite Friars. I feared two things : first,
that he would be angry with me, and reasonably so, not
knowing how everything had come about ; next, that he might
order me to return to the monastery of the Incarnation, which
keeps the mitigated Rule. This would have been a distress
to me, for several reasons which I need not give. One will
suffice, which is that there I could not keep the strictness
of the primitive Rule, and that there are more than a
hundred and fifty Sisters there ; and certainly when there are
fewer, there is more order and quiet.

Our Lord ordered these things for me better than I thought :
for the General is so great a servant of God and so wise and
learned that he considered it a good work, and in no respect
did he shew himself displeased with me. His2 name is Fray

1 Two Generals had been to Spain and held Chapters there : Fray
Juan Alerio at Barcelona in 1324, and Fray Eaimundo de Grasa at
Perpignan in 1354. But these Chapters were only for the Kingdom
of Aragon, where the Order of Carmelites was widely extended.

2 The surname Rubeo is latinised from Rossi, after the fashion of the
time. He came to Spain in 1566, at the instance of Philip II., and with a
Bull of St Pius VI., who had recently come to the Papacy. He held a

Medina del Campo 13

Juan Bautista Rubeo de Ravenna, and he is a person very
highly thought of in the Order, and justly so.

Well, when he arrived at Avila, I got him to come to
St Joseph's ; and the Bishop thought good that all honour
should be shewn to him, as if it had been to himself. I gave
him an account of everything with all sincerity and simplicity ;
for it is natural to me to deal thus with Superiors, come what
may, since they stand in the place of God, and with confessors
too ; and I should not feel iny soul safe, if not. And so I gave
him an account of my soul, and almost of my whole life, very
bad though that is. He comforted me much, and assured me
that he would not order me to leave St Joseph's. It gave him
pleasure to see our way of living, a copy, however imperfect,
of the early days of our Order; and to see that the primitive
Rule was kept in all its strictness. (For in the whole Order
there was not another house where they kept this and not the
mitigated Rule.) He desired that this beginning should go
forward ; and so he gave me complete licences to found more
monasteries, with penalties to prevent any Provincial from
hindering me. I did not ask for these ; but he understood
from what I told him of my manner of praying how great were
my desires of doing what I could that some soul might draw
nearer to God.

I did not seek for myself these means of service ; rather
it would have seemed to me absurd : for I saw very well that
a poor woman with so little influence as I had could do
nothing. But when such desires come to the soul, it is not in
its power to put them away. The ardent desire to serve God
and the Faith make possible that which according to natural

Provincial Chapter in Andalusia, and then went on to Castile. Fray
Alonso Gonzalez was appointed Provincial, Fray Angel de Salazar
remaining Prior at Avila.

14 Chapter II

reasoning is impossible. And so when I saw our Reverend
General's great wish that more convents should be founded,
I seemed to see them already established ; for, remembering
the words which our Lord had said to me, I saw now some
beginning of what up till then I could not understand.

I felt it very much when I saw our General returning to
Rome. I had conceived a great affection for him, and I seemed
to be left very desolate. He shewed me the greatest affection,
and much kindness ; and when he could get leisure, he used to
come to St Joseph's to treat of spiritual matters, for he was a
person to whom the Lord must have given great graces. It
was a great comfort to us to listen to him on these subjects.

The Lord Bishop, Don Alvaro de Mendoza, who is always
thinking how he can help those whom he sees to be desirous
of serving God more perfectly, tried, even before the General's
departure, to get his leave to have some monasteries of Bare-
foot Friars of the primitive Rule founded in his diocese.
Other people also asked for this. He would have wished to
do it ; but he met with opposition in the Order, and so, not to
stir up strife in the province, he let it drop for the time.

When some days had passed, I reflected how necessary it
was, if there were to be convents of nuns, to have Friars also
of the same Rule ; and seeing how few there were in the
province, it seemed as if they were dying out. Commending
the matter greatly to our Lord, I wrote to our Father General
a letter begging this of him in the best way I could. I gave
him reasons why it would be greatly to the service of God, and
said that any difficulties which might arise were not serious
enough to be a reason for leaving undone so good a work ; and I
set before him the service he would do to our Lady, to whom
he had a great devotion. It must have been she who brought
this to pass. He was at Valencia when my letter came into

Medina del Campo 15

his hands, and thence — as one who desired the stricter obser-
vance of the Rule of the Order — he sent me licences to found
two monasteries. In order that there might be no opposition,
he stipulated for the consent of the present and the late
Provincial, which was very difficult to obtain : but now that
I saw the chief thing done, I hoped that the Lord would do
the rest ; and so it was, for by the aid of the Lord Bishop,
who made our cause his own, both of them agreed to it.

Well, now that I was encouraged by having the licence,
my anxieties increased ; for there was no Friar that I knew of
in the province who would take up the task, and no secular
person willing to make such a beginning. I did nothing but
pray to our Lord that at least one person might be stirred up
to it. Neither had I a house, nor means to get one. Behold
a poor Barefoot nun with no help on any side, except from
the Lord, furnished with licences and with good desires, but
with no possibility of putting them in practice ! But my spirit
did not fail, nor my confidence that since the Lord had given
the one He would also give the other : indeed all seemed
possible to me ; and so I began to set to work.

Oh greatness of God ! And how Thou shewest Thy power
in giving boldness to an ant ! And how, 0 my Lord, it is not
Thy fault, but the fault of our cowardice and pusillanimity
that those who love Thee do not carry out great works !
Because we never make resolutions without being full of
a thousand fears and human cautiousness, therefore Thou, 0
my God, dost not work Thy wonders and great deeds. Who
is more desirous to give, if Thou dost find anyone willing to
receive, or who more ready to accept services at Thine own
cost ! May it please Thy Majesty that I may have done Thee
some service, and may I not have a greater account to give
for all that I have received. Amen.

CHAPTER III

How the Convent of St Joseph at Medina del Campo
came to be planned.

WELL, when I was thinking anxiously over all these things,
it occurred to me to seek the help of the Fathers of the Company
of Jesus, who were in high esteem at Medina. As I have
said in the account of the first foundation, these Fathers had
guided my soul many years : and I always hold them in special
reverence for the great good which they did me. I wrote what
our Father General had enjoined on me to the Rector there,
who happened to be the one who had heard my confessions
for many years ; as I said, although I did not give his name :
it was Baltasar Alvarez, who is now Provincial. He and the
others said they would do what they could in the matter : and
they made great efforts to obtain the leave of the townspeople
and of the Bishop — for it is always difficult to get leave to
establish a house founded without endowment : and so the
business took some days to arrange.

To see to this there went a priest, Julian of Avila, a great
servant of God, singularly detached from the world and much
given to prayer. He was chaplain of the convent in which
I was living, and God had given him the same desires that
He had given me ; and so he has been a great help to me, as
will presently be seen. Well, though I now possessed the
licence, I had no house nor a penny to buy one, nor any
securities on which to get credit. If the Lord did not give it,
how could a pilgrim like me possess it ? The Lord ordained
that a very excellent girl for whom there had not been room
at St Joseph's, hearing that another house was to be established,

o

0,

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Medina del Campo 17

came and asked me to take her in there. She had some money,
very little, not enough to buy a house, but enough to rent one,
and to help with the expenses of the journey. So we looked
out for a hired house. With no more than this to depend
upon, we set out from Avila, two nuns from St Joseph's and
I, and four from the Incarnation, the convent of the mitigated
Rule where I lived before St Joseph's was founded. Our
chaplain, Father Julian of Avila, was with us.

When it was known in the town, there was a great deal
of talk. Some said 1 was mad; others would wait to see
the end of this nonsense. To the Bishop, as I was afterwards
told, it seemed great folly, although at the time he did not let
me know this, because, having a great affection for me, he did
not like to hamper me or cause me pain. My friends gave
me their opinion roundly : but I attached little weight to it ;
because to me that which they thought hazardous seemed so
easy that I could not persuade myself that it could fail to
turn out well.

When we left Avila I had already written to a Father of
our Order, Fray Antonio de Heredia, to buy me a house. He
was at that time Prior of St Anne's, a monastery of monks of
our Order at Medina. He opened negotiations with a lady
who was much attached to him, who had a house. Its walls
were in a ruinous state, all but those of one apartment ; but
it was in a very good situation. She was so kind as to
promise to sell it without demanding security for the pay-
ment, on the strength of his word alone : for we could not
have given any security. The Lord ordered all this for us :
and so they made the agreement. The walls of the house
were in such a ruinous state that we had to hire another
until it was repaired, for there was a great deal to be done
to it.

T. F. 2

18 Chapter III

Then at the end of our first day's journey, it was already
dark, and we were tired because of our bad equipage. As we
were nearing the town by way of AreValo, there came out to
meet us a friend of ours, an ecclesiastic, who had got rooms
for us in the house of some devout women : and he told me
privately that we should not get our house, because it was
near a monastery of Augustinians, and they would resist our
taking possession, and there would certainly have to be a law
suit. 0, valame Dios ! when Thou, 0 Lord, art pleased to
give courage, how little does any opposition avail ! Rather
it seemed to encourage me, because I felt that if the devil
was already beginning to make a disturbance, it must be
because this convent would be to the Lord's service. Any-
how I asked him to say nothing, in order not to disturb my
companions, especially the two1 from the Incarnation ; for the
others would have gone through any troubles for my sake.
One of those two was sub-prioress there, and the Sisters did
all they could to stop her. Both of them were of good family ;
and they came against their relations' wish, for all the Sisters
thought it absurd; with ample reason, as I afterwards saw.
For when it is the Lord's will that I should found one of these
houses, nothing seems able to get into my head which seems
to me sufficient to make me give it up, until I have actually
done it. Afterwards the difficulties present themselves to me
all at once, as will presently be seen.

When we got to the lodging, I found that there was in the
place a very great servant of God, a Dominican friar, who had

1 The Saint had said above that she took four from the Incarnation.
Doubtless two of these were less to be trusted than the other two. [Or,
more probably, the explanation is that, according to a limitation imposed
by the General, she took only two, technically speaking : but two more
had gone from the Incarnation to St Joseph's a few days before her de-
parture. Eibera, bk. n. ch. vii. Tr.]

Medina del Campo 19

heard my confessions while I was at St Joseph's. As in my
account of that foundation I have spoken much of his
goodness, I will here only say his name, the Master Fray
Domingo Banez. He is very learned and wise, and I always
took his advice. And to his thinking this was not so difficult
a work as others that I had had to do : for the more
anyone knows of God, the more easily he does God's work :
and because he knew how gracious God had been to me in
certain matters, and from what he had seen in the foundation
of St Joseph's, it all seemed to him quite possible. It gave
me great encouragement when I saw him ; for I felt sure that
with the help of his advice all would go well. Well, when he
came, I told him in great secrecy what was going on : and he
thougth we could speedily come to terms with the Augus-
tinians. But to me any delay was distressing because I
did not know what to do with so many nuns. All who
were in our lodging soon heard everything : and so we all
spent an anxious night.

Early in the morning the Prior of our Order, Fray
Antonio, arrived, and said that the house which he had
agreed to purchase would do for us, and had an entrance
which we could turn into a little chapel with the help of some
hangings. We determined to go there : to me at least it seemed
the best thing : for the shorter the time the better, as we
were out of our own convents ; also, having learned my lesson
in the first foundation, I feared some opposition. So my plan
was that before any one got wind of it we should already
have taken possession ; so we determined to do it at once.
The Master Father Fray Domingo agreed with us.

We arrived at Medina del Campo on the Vigil of the
Assumption at midnight. We alighted at St Anne's, so as
not to make any noise, and went on foot to the house. It

2—2

20 Chapter III

was just the time when the bulls which were to fight next
day were being driven to the enclosure, and it was a great
mercy that some of them did not toss us. As for us, our
minds were so taken up that I never thought of such a
thing ; but the Lord, Who is always mindful of those
who are desiring — as I certainly was — to serve Him, kept us
safe.

We arrived at the house and went into the patio 1. The
walls looked to me very ruinous, but not so bad as by day-
light I afterwards saw them to be. The Lord seems to have
been pleased to blind that good Father so that he should
not see how unfit it was to place the Blessed Sacrament
there.

I went to see the entrance. There was a good deal of
earth to be shovelled out, it had an open roof, and the walls
were unplastered. The night was short; and we had only
brought with us a few hangings, I think three, which were not
nearly enough to cover the length of the entrance : and I
did not know what to do, for I saw it was not fit to set an altar
there. It pleased the Lord — for He desired that it should be
done at once — that the lady's steward' had in his house a
great deal of tapestry of hers, and some blue damask bed-
hangings : and she had told him to give us anything we
wanted ; for she was very good. When I saw such good
garniture, I gave praise to the Lord, and so did the others.
We did not know what to do for nails, nor could we buy them
at that hour ; but we hunted in the walls, and at last with a
good deal of trouble we found plenty. Some put up the
hangings ; we nuns cleaned the floor : and we worked with

1 [The house was built as an ordinary Spanish house, round a square
court-yard or patio, into which all the windows looked. The entrance
was something like that of an old English inn. Tr.]

Medina del Campo 21

such a will that when morning dawned the altar was set up,
and the little bell in a passage; and mass was said at once.
This sufficed to take possession : but as at the time we did
not know this, we also had the Blessed Sacrament reserved.
"We nuns saw mass through the chinks of a door opposite ;
for there was nowhere else for us to be.

Up to this time I was very happy : for it is my greatest
pleasure to see one more church where the Blessed Sacrament
is reserved. But my joy was shortlived ; for when mass was
over, I went to look at the patio through a little window, and
I saw that all the walls were fallen to the ground in places, so
that it would take many days to repair them.

Oh vdlame Dios ! what anguish filled my heart when
I saw His Majesty set in the street in a time of so much
danger from these Lutherans l ! And together with this arose
in my mind all the difficulties which those who disapproved of
our venture had spoken of, and I saw clearly that they were
right. It seemed impossible to go forward with what I had
begun : because, just as up till now all had appeared easy,
since it was for God that it was done, so now I was tempted
to think so little of His power that it seemed as if I had
never received any grace from Him : my own littleness and
impotence was all that was present to my mind ; and when
success depended on such a wretched creature, what could be
hoped for ? I think 1 could have borne it better had I been
alone ; but what was so dreadful was to think of my companions
having to go home after the opposition which their departure
had raised. It seemed to me too, that now this beginning
had gone wrong, there was no possibility of all that I

1 [Especially at Medina del Campo, in which, being one of the greatest
foreign marts in Spain, there would always be merchants from the
countries which had broken with Eome. Tr.]

22 Chapter III

had understood our Lord meant to do further. And an
added fear at once arose that what I had understood in
my prayer was a delusion. This was not my least distress,
but my greatest ; because it made me exceedingly afraid that
the devil had deceived me. Oh my God ! what a thing it is
to see a soul whom Thou art pleased to leave to suffer !
Certainly, when I remember this misery and some others
which I have suffered in these foundations, it seems to me
that the bodily sufferings, severe though these have been,
were nothing to be compared to them.

Of all this burden of distress which weighed me down
I said nothing to my companions, because I did not want to
give them any more distress than they already had. I went
on in this unhappiness until the evening, when the Rector of
the Jesuits sent a Father to see me, who greatly comforted
and encouraged me. I did not tell him all my troubles, but
only the distress which it was to find ourselves in the street.
I began to see about finding a hired house, at whatever cost,
to go into while this one was being repaired. Then I began
to take comfort from seeing how many people came to the
house, and that none of them found fault with our folly ;
which was a mercy : for I felt certain they would take away
from us the Blessed Sacrament. Now I see that I was foolish
and others were thoughtless in not consuming the Host : but
at that time I thought that all would be undone if we did so.

For all we could do, we could not find a house in all the
place : so I spent very troubled days and nights ; for although
I always had men to watch over the Blessed Sacrament, I was
always anxious lest they should go to sleep ; so I kept getting
up in the night to look through the window, and I could see
well because there was very bright moonlight. During all
those days a great many people came ; and not only were

Medina del Campo 23

they not offended, but it moved their devotion to see our
Lord again in an outhouse : and His Majesty, never tired of
humbling Himself for our sake, did not seem to desire to
leave it. It was not until after a week that a merchant who
lived in a very good house, seeing our necessity, asked us to
move to the upper part of it, to dwell there as in our own
house. There was a great gilded hall there which he gave us
for a chapel ; and Dona Elena de Quiroga, a lady who lived
close to the house which we had bought, a great servant of
God, said she would help me to begin at once to make a chapel
for the Blessed Sacrament to be reserved, and would also fit
up the house for our enclosure. Other people gave us plenty
of money for our food : but it was this lady who helped
me most.

This being arranged, I began to be in peace, because
where we were, we could be completely enclosed; and we began
to say the office. And the good Prior made great haste about
the house, taking a great deal of trouble. For all that, the
work took two months, but it was done so well that we were
able to live there fairly comfortably for some years ; after that
our Lord provided something better for us.

While I was there, I was always thinking over the
monasteries of friars ; and since, as I said, I had not one
friar, I did not know what to do. So I determined to talk
to the Prior about it in strict confidence, to see what he
would advise ; and so I did. When he heard of it he was
very glad, and promised to be the first himself. I took this
for a jest, and so I told him : for although he was a very good
Brother, recollected and very studious and a lover of his cell,
and was learned, I thought he would not have the energy, nor
be able to endure the necessary hardships ; for he was delicate,
and not used to them. He earnestly assured me that he

24 Chapter III

could : and he declared that, for some time, the Lord had
been calling him to a stricter life ; and so he had determined
to join the Carthusians, and they had already promised to
receive him. For all this, I was not quite satisfied, although
I was glad to hear it : and I asked him to let us put it off for
some time, during which he should practise the things which
he would have to promise : and so he did. A year passed,
during which he had to endure so many troubles and the per-
secutions of so many false accusations that it seemed our Lord
desired to prove him : and he bore it all so well and made
such progress that I gave praise to our Lord, and I thought
His Majesty was preparing him for this.

A little later, there happened to come a young Father who
had been studying at Salamanca. Another priest accom-
panied him, who told me great things of the life which this
Father lived. His name was Brother John of the Cross.
I gave thanks to our Lord. When I talked to the Father,
I was much pleased with him. He told me that he also
meant to become a Carthusian. I told him my projects, and
earnestly begged him to wait until the Lord should give us
a monastery, pointing out that if he meant to better himself,
it would be a great gain to do so within his own Order, and
much more to the Lord's service. He gave me his word that
he would, if he had not to wait too long.

When I saw that I already had two friars l to begin with,
I thought the thing already done. However, as I was not
altogether satisfied with the Prior, and also we had nowhere
to commence in, I waited some time.

The Sisters kept growing in favour with the people, and
gaining their affection ; and, as I felt, justly : for they

1 "A friar and a half" St Theresa used to call them, because of the
diminutive stature and youth of St John of the Cross.

Counsels to Prioresses 25

thought of nothing but how each could best serve our Lord.
They went on exactly as at St Joseph's at Avila ; for they
had the same Rule and Constitutions. The Lord began to
call some in the neighbourhood to take the habit ; and He
bestowed on them such great graces that it amazed me.
May He be blessed for ever. Amen. For He seems to re-
quire nothing but to be loved, to love.

CHAPTER IV

Which treats of certain graces which the Lord bestows on the nuns
in these convents, and gives counsel to the prioresses in dealing
with them.

As I do not know how long a life the Lord may give me,
nor what time for writing, and now I seem to have a little, it
seems a good thing, before going any further, to set down
some instructions so that Prioresses may understand their
office, and may guide their nuns to the greater profit of their
souls, although less to their own satisfaction.

It must be remembered that, when I was ordered to write
the history of these foundations, there were — besides the first,
that of St Joseph's at Avila, whose story was written imme-
diately— seven monasteries founded, by the help of our Lord,
including that of Alba de Tormes, which was the last of them.
The reason why more were not founded was that my superiors
set me to another work, as will be seen later.

It is from considering the course of spiritual affairs in
those monasteries during these years that I have seen the
need of saying what I am going to say. May it please the

26 Chapter IV

Lord that it may succeed in meeting that need ! And since
the things which have taken place are not delusions, people's
minds must not be alarmed : for, as I have said elsewhere in
certain little writings1 I have made for the Sisters, if we pro-
ceed in obedience and with a clear conscience, the Lord never
allows Satan so free a hand that he can injure our soul by
deceiving us. On the contrary, it is he who finds himself de-
ceived ; and, as he is aware of this, I do not believe he does us so
much harm as our own imaginings and evil tempers, especially
melancholic tempers. Women are weak by nature, and the self-
love which prevails in us is very subtle. Thus many people have
come to me, both men and many women, as well as the nuns of
these houses, in whom I could plainly see that, without intend-
ing it, they often deceived themselves. I quite believe that the
devil may take part in this to mock us : but of the many of
these women whom, as I say, I have myself seen, there are
none that I know of who, by the Lord's goodness, have not
been kept safe. May be He is pleased to try them with these
failures that they may come out wiser. Prayer and perfection,
through our sins, are so decayed in the world that it is neces-
sary to make this plain statement. For if people are afraid
to walk in this way even when they do not see its dangers,
how will it be if we should shew them some? Although
indeed there is really danger everywhere ; and so long as we
live we shall always have to walk in fear, and to entreat the
Lord to teach us and not to forsake us. But, as I think I
have said before, if there is one way which is less dangerous
than another, it is the way of those who attain most nearly to
keeping God in mind and to seeking to live in perfection.

0 my Lord, when I see that Thou dost often deliver us even
from the dangers into which we run by going against Thy
1 [The Way of Perfection, ch. LXX. Tr.]

Counsels to Prioresses 27

will, how can I believe that Thou wilt not deliver us when
we are caring for nothing but to please Thee and find our joy
in Thee? I can never believe this. It may be that God for
some other hidden ends may permit certain things to fall out
thus and thus. But good has never brought evil. So that
such falls may serve to make us walk on our way better, to
please our Spouse the better and find Him the sooner, but
not to make us give up the journey; to animate us to walk
bravely through the rugged passes of this life, but not to make
us cowards for the rest of it. For if we walk humbly, in the end,
through God's mercy, we shall arrive at that city of Jerusalem
where all that we have endured will appear little or nothing
in comparison with our joy there.

Well, when these little dovecotes of our Lady the Virgin
began to be filled, His Divine Majesty began to shew His great-
ness in these poor women, weak in themselves, but strong in
their desires and in their detachment from all created things.
And this must be what most closely unites a soul with its Creator,
given a conscience void of offence. This condition I need
hardly mention : because if the detachment is sincere, I think
it is not possible for a soul that has it to offend the Lord:
and as the soul in all its sayings and doings is unchange-
ably centred in God, so His Majesty seems to be unwilling to
withdraw His presence from it. This is what I see at the
present time, and I can say it with all truth. Let those who
come hereafter and read this be in fear: and if they do not
see what may be seen now, let them not put it down to the
times ; for it is always a time when God will give great graces
to anyone who serves Him truly. And let them try to see
whether there is any failure in this, and amend it.

I have sometimes heard it said about the early days of
Orders that, because those our Saints of old were the founda-

28 Chapter IV

tions of the edifice, the Lord gave them more abundant graces.
So it is. But it must be remembered that they were the
foundation for those who should come after. And if we who
are now living did not fall away from the holiness of the past,
and those who shall come after us likewise, the building
would always stand firm. What good is it to me that the
Saints of old were such as they were, if I, coming after, am so
bad that I leave the building ruined with my evil ways ? For
it is plain that new comers do not think so much about those
who lived a long time ago as about those whom they actually
see. A fine thing indeed to put down my badness to my not
being one of the first; and not to lay to heart the difference
there is between my life and virtues and that of the founders
to whom God granted such great graces! Alas, my God!
how crooked are these excuses, how glaring these delusions!

I am not speaking of the founders of Orders : for, as God
chose them for a great work, He gave them greater grace. It
is a distress to me, 0 my God, to be so bad, and of so little
use in Thy service; but well do I know that it is my own
fault that Thou givest me not the graces which Thou gavest
to those who have gone before me. It grieves me, 0 Lord,
when 1 compare my life with theirs; and I cannot say it
without tears. I see that I have wasted what they laboured
for; but in no wise can I complain of Thee. Nor is it right
that any of us should complain; but that if we should see our
Order in any way decaying, we should each try to become a
stone such that it may serve for building up the edifice again :
for the Lord will give His aid in this.

Then to return to what I was saying — for I have made
a long digression — the graces which the Lord gives in these
houses are so great that, though there may be one of the
Sisters whom the Lord is leading by the way of meditation only,

Counsels to Prioresses 29

all the rest are arriving at perfect contemplation, and some
advanced as far as raptures. To some the Lord gives grace in
a different manner, together with revelations and visions
which can clearly be known to have come from God, At
the present time there is not one house where there are not
one or two or three such nuns. I know very well that this is
not what sanctity consists in: nor is it my object only to praise
them, but rather to shew that the instructions which I intend
to write down are not beside the mark.

CHAPTER V

In which certain cautions are given concerning prayer and revela-
tions. It is profitable reading for those who are occupied in
active work.

I DO not intend or suppose that what I am now going to
say will be so precise as to afford an infallible rule: that
would be folly in matters so difficult. But, as there are
many ways in the way of the Spirit, it may be that I shall
succeed in explaining some points of some of them. If those
who are not walking by that way do not understand me, that
will be because they are going by another way. And if I do no
good to anybody, the Lord will accept my good will; for He
knows that if I have not experienced it all myself, yet I have
observed it in other souls.

In the first place I want to shew, according to my poor
understanding, what is the essence of perfect prayer : for I
have met with some people who suppose that the whole
matter consists in thoughts; and if, even though by doing

30 Chapter V

themselves great violence, they can for the most part keep
their thoughts on God, they at once think themselves spiritu-
ally minded. And if they cannot help being distracted, even
though it may be on account of right things, they are at once
dreadfully unhappy and think themselves lost. Learned men
do not suffer from these mistakes and ignorances — though
indeed I have met with one who did so — but we women need
to be warned of all such ignorances. I do not deny that it is
a gift from the Lord to be able to meditate continually on His
works, and it is good to make the attempt. But it must be
borne in mind that not all minds are able by nature to do
this, but all souls are able to love Him ; and that perfection
consists in loving Him rather than in thinking. I have else-
where spoken of the causes of this wandering of the mind — of
some, at least; not of all, for that would be impossible— so I
will not speak of it here : but I want it to be understood that
the soul is not thoughts ; nor ought the will to be controlled by
them, for it would be in evil case, as I have said above : be-
cause the soul's good does not consist in thinking much, but
in loving much. And if you ask, How is this love to be
gained? I answer, By a soul's resolving to work and suffer
for God, and doing so when it gets an opportunity.

It is quite true that reflecting on what we owe to the
Lord, what He is, and what we are, is efficacious in fixing the
soul's determination; and that this is an excellent practice,
and very helpful in the beginnings. But with this proviso-
that this exercise does not interfere with matters of obedience
or of the good of our neighbour which charity requires of us.
For in such cases, either of these two things has the first
claim on our time, and we must give up what we crave to
give to God ; that is to say, the meditating on Him in solitude
and rejoicing in the joys which He gives us. To give up this

Counsels to Prioresses 31

for either of those two things is to give joy to the Lord ; and
it is done for Him, as He said with His own mouth, Inasmuch
as ye have done it unto one of these little ones, ye have done
it unto Me. And as to matters of obedience, He would not
have us walk in any other way than the way in which He
Himself was well pleased to walk. Follow Him, for He was
obediens usque ad mortem1.

Then if this is really true, whence comes that vexation
which we mostly feel when we have not spent a great part of
the day quite alone and absorbed in God, although we were all
the time occupied in works of obedience and charity? From
two sources, I think. The first and chief, from a self-love
which is here so very subtly mingled that we do not perceive
that it is ourselves we are wanting to please rather than God.
For it is clear that when a soul is beginning "to taste and
see how gracious the Lord is," it must be more to its taste
to be enjoying this communion, and the body not toiling
but at rest.

Oh the charity of those who sincerely love our Lord and
know their own state ! How little rest can they take if they see
that they can ever so little help a single soul to advance and
love God more, or can in any way comfort it or liberate it
from any danger ! How little rest could such an one take in
any selfish repose! And when he cannot help by deeds, he
will by prayers, pleading with the Lord for the many souls
which he grieves to see being lost. Such a soul loses its own
enjoyment and counts it well lost, because it does not
think about its own happiness but about how best to do the
Lord's will.

So it is also in matters of obedience. It would be un-
seemly behaviour if God plainly told us to go and do

1 [Phil. ii. 8. Tr.]

32 Chapter V

something which He wanted done; and we would riot, but
remained gazing upon Him because that was more to our
pleasure. A fine advance in the love of God, to bind His
hands by believing that He can do us good in only one way !
Besides what I myself, as I have said, have experienced,
I know several people with whom I have conversed, who
taught me this truth, when I was troubled at having so little
time myself, and so was sorry for them when I saw them
continually occupied in business and many affairs laid upon
them in obedience. And I thought within myself, and even
said so to them, that in such a racket it was not possible to
grow in spirituality — for at that time they had no large measure
of it. 0 Lord, how different are Thy ways from what we
imagine! When a soul is simply set upon loving Thee and
is left in Thy hands, Thou requirest of it nothing but to obey,
and carefully to learn what is most to Thy service, and to
desire this. It has no need to seek out its own paths or
choose them : for its will is simply Thine. Thou, 0 my Lord,
takest upon Thyself the charge of guiding it in the way that
is best for it. And even if the Superior does not concern
himself about our soul's good, but only about getting the
business done which he thinks is for the Community's good,
Thou, 0 my God, dost keep our soul, and dost continually
dispose it and its doings in such wise that, without our
knowing how, but only faithfully obeying our orders for God's
sake, we presently find ourselves so much better and more
spiritually minded that we are filled with wonder.

So it was in the case of someone to whom I was talking
a few days ago. For about fifteen years his obedience had
laid upon him such hard work in offices and the oversight of
others that in the whole of that time he could not remember
that he had had one day to himself; although he secured

Counsels to Prioresses 33

some time in the day, as best he might, for prayer and to
keep his conscience clear. He is one of the most obediently dis-
posed souls that I ever saw, and so he communicates that virtue
to all whom he has to do with. The Lord has well rewarded
him: for, without knowing how, he finds himself to have
gained that liberty of spirit, so greatly prized and desired,
which is possessed by the perfect, wherein lies all the felicity
that can be desired in this life ; because, seeking nothing, he
possesses all things. Such souls neither fear nor desire any-
thing upon earth; troubles do not perturb them, nor do
pleasures excite them : whatever may happen, no one can take
away their peace, for it rests on God alone; and as no one
can take away God from them, nothing can cause them anxiety
but the fear of losing Him : for everything else in the world
is to them as though it were not, for it can neither make nor
mar their happiness. Oh blessed obedience, and blessed dis-
traction for obedience's sake, which can win so great a good !
That person is not the only one I have known : for there have
been others like him, whom I had not seen for many years;
and when I asked them how these years had been spent, it
was all in works of obedience and charity, and on the other
hand I could see that they had made most marvellous progress
in spiritual things.

Well then, my daughters, let there be no repining, but
when obedience keeps you employed in exterior works, re-
member that even if it is in the kitchen, the Lord walks
among the pitchers, aiding us both in body and soul.

I remember a monk's telling me that he had resolved and
firmly made up his mind that he would never refuse anything
which the Superior might require of him, whatever trouble it
gave him. And one day he had been working so hard that he
was quite done up and could hardly stand, and he was going to

T. F. 3

34 Chapter V

sit down and rest a little. It was already late. The Superior
met him and told him to take the spade and go and dig in the
garden. He kept silence, although it seemed hard to the flesh,
because he did not know how he should get through it. He
took the spade and was going into the garden by a path which
I saw many years after he told me this ; for I happened to be
founding a house in that town. There our Lord appeared to
him with the cross on His shoulders, so wearied and worn out
that he very well could see his own fatigue was nothing in
comparison of that.

I believe that it is because the devil sees there is no way
which leads more quickly to the highest perfection than that
of obedience, that he sets up in it so many distastes and diffi-
culties under the colour of good. Let this be carefully thought
over, and it will be seen clearly that what I say is true. As to
what constitutes the highest perfection ; it is clear that it is
not interior satisfaction, nor great raptures, nor visions, nor
the spirit of prophecy, but it is the entire conformity of our
will to the will of God, so that there is nothing which we see
He desires which we do not also desire with our whole will,
and we accept the bitter as cheerfully as the sweet, when we
see it to be His Majesty's good pleasure. This seems exceed-
ingly difficult — not the mere doing God's will, but the taking
pleasure in what is wholly and entirely contrary to our own
natural wishes. And so indeed it is. But love, if it is perfect,
has virtue to make us forget our own pleasure in the pleasure of
pleasing one whom we love. And as a matter of fact so we find
it; for when we see we are pleasing God, even the greatest suffer-
ings become sweet to us : and those who have attained to this
state love God thus amidst persecutions and dishonours and
wrongs.

This is so certain, and is so well known and plain, that I

Counsels to Prioresses 35

need not dwell on it. What I wish to shew is the reason why,
as I think, obedience acts most quickly or is the chief means
there is of attaining to this so blessed condition. It is this.
As we are by no means masters of our own will, so as to be
able to employ it purely and simply and wholly for God, until
we have subjected it to reason, so obedience is the true way
thus to subject it. For this cannot be done by good reasons,
because our natural temperament and our self-love produce so
many that we should never arrive there : and they very often
make what is most reasonable seem unreasonable, if we are not
inclined to it, only because we are not inclined to act on it.
(I had so much to say here that we should never get done
with this internal contest and with describing all that the
devil, the world, and the flesh do to warp our reason.) What,
then, can be done ? This : that just as in a very doubtful
matter of law, the litigants, weary of strife, choose an
arbitrator and put the matter into his hands ; so should
our soul choose one, whether Superior or confessor, resolving
to strive no longer nor take thought for itself, but to trust the
Lord's words when He said "He that heareth you heareth
Me," and to put aside its own will. Our Lord counts this
submission a great thing ; and justly so, because it makes Him
master of the free will which He has given us. So we exer-
cise ourselves in this ; and, sometimes completely conquering
ourselves, sometimes with a thousand conflicts, thinking what
is decided for us foolish, we come to submit ourselves to what
is enjoined on us, through this painful exercise ; but, painfully
or not, at last we do it. And the Lord on His part aids us
greatly, so that just as we come to submit our will and reason
for His sake, so He makes us masters of them. Then, being
masters of ourselves, we are able to give ourselves over perfectly
to God, offering Him a pure will that He may unite it to His

3—2

36 Chapter V

own ; beseeching Him to send down the fire of His love from
heaven to consume the sacrifice, giving up everything which
might displease Him ; because now there is nothing left to us
which, although with sore struggles, we have not laid on the
altar, so that, so far as in us lies, it no longer touches the earth.

It is plain that no one can give what he does not possess ;
but he must needs first possess it. Then believe me, there
is no better way of winning this treasure than by digging and
toiling to get it out of the mine of obedience ; for the more we
dig the more we shall find ; and the more we submit ourselves
to human beings, having no will but that of our betters, the
more we shall be masters of our will so as to be able to conform
it to the will of God.

See now, Sisters, whether the giving up the pleasure of
solitude is not amply rewarded. I can tell you that the lack
of solitude will be no hindrance to you in training yourselves
for the attainment of that true union which, as I have said,
consists in making my will one with the will of God. This is the
union which I myself desire, and would wish you all to possess,
and not occasional very enjoyable raptures which take place, to
which people give the name of union : and they will really be
union, if afterwards the condition which I have described
ensues. But if when the suspension is over, very little
obedience is found, and self-will remains, then I think the
self-will will be united to self-love and not to the will of God.
May His Majesty grant that I may practise what I know in
this matter !

The second source of this dislike is, I think, that, as in
solitude there are fewer occasions of offending God, — some
there always must be, as the evil spirits and ourselves are
never absent — the soul seems to keep itself purer : and if it is
apprehensive of offending Him, it is a great comfort not to

Counsels to Prioresses 37

have occasions of stumbling. And certainly this seems to me
a more adequate reason for wishing not to converse with any-
one than the former — the great delights and spiritual sweet-
nesses which solitude affords.

x,^

Here, my daughters, is where true love is to be seen : not
in corners, but in the midst of temptations. And believe me
that although there may be more faults committed, or even
some slight falls, yet our gain is incomparably greater.
Remember, in what I say it is always taken for granted that
it is in obedience and for charity's sake that you go into
temptation. If not, I grant that solitude is best. And indeed
we ought to be desiring it even while we are doing as I say.
In truth this desire is ever present in souls which really love
God.

I say that it is a gain for this reason — that it makes us see
what we are, and how much our strength is capable of. For
when a person is continually in solitude, however saintly he
may seem to himself to be, he does not know whether he has
any patience or humility, nor has he any means of knowing.
It is as if a man were very valiant, how could he know it if he
had not proved it in battle ? St Peter was sure he was so, but
see what he was when the temptation came ! But he came out
from that fall with no trust in himself, and from that he went
on to put his trust in God, and afterwards suffered martyrdom,
as we know.

Alas, my God, if we only knew how great is our wretched-
ness ! If we do not know it, there is danger in everything :
therefore it is good for us to be made to do things which shew
us how abject we are. And I consider one day of humbling
knowledge of ourselves which has cost much sorrow and pain
to be a greater boon from our Lord than many days of prayer:
how much more when the true lover loves wherever he is, and
always keeps his beloved in mind ! It would be a poor thing

38 Chapter V

if prayer could be carried on only in corners. I myself find
that- 1 cannot now spend many hours in it. But, 0 my Lord,
how powerful before Thee is one sigh, sent forth from a spirit
which is troubled because not only are we in exile, but have
not even opportunities of being alone, that we might enjoy
communion with Thee !

This is what shews .clearly that we are His bondservants,
for love of Him willingly sold to the virtue of obedience, since
for its sake we give up, in a measure, the joy of communion
with God Himself. But that is nothing, when we consider
that He in obedience came from the bosom of the Father to
become our bondservant. How then can this gift be repaid or
requited ! We must walk warily in our active works, even of
obedience and charity, lest we should be careless, not continually
turning to God in our inmost heart. But believe me, what
helps a soul to advance is not the spending long hours in
prayer, but it is a great help to be employed also in active
works, so that the soul is better disposed to enkindle its love
in a very short space of time than by spending many hours in
meditation. All must come from His hand. May He be blessed
for ever and ever !

CHAPTER VI

Of the harm it may do spiritual people not to know when to
resist the spirit. Of the soul's desire for Communion, and the
delusions there may be in this. Contains matters important
to those who are in charge of these Convents.

I HAVE long and carefully tried to find out whence proceeds
a sort of great absorption in thought which I have observed in
certain people to whom the Lord gives great sweetness in
prayer, and who do not neglect to prepare themselves for

Counsels to Prioresses 39

receiving His graces. I am not speaking now of a soul's being
suspended and enraptured by His Majesty, for I have elsewhere
spoken of this at some length : and of such things as this there
is really nothing to be said, because we ourselves can do
nothing, even if we do our utmost to resist, if it is a real
rapture. It is to be observed that in this case the force which
deprives us of all power over ourselves lasts but a short time.
But it often happens that a prayer of quiet begins, as it were
a spiritual slumber, which absorbs the soul in such wise that,
if we do not know what ought to be done in this case, we may
waste much time and, by our own fault, spend our strength
and gain little.

I wish I knew how to explain myself on this point, but it
is so difficult that I do not know whether I shall succeed : but
I know very well that if the souls who have been in this
delusion are willing to believe me, they will understand me.
I know of some, and very virtuous souls too, who have been
seven or eight hours in this state, and think it all to have
been a rapture : and any other religious exercise has laid such
hold upon them that they have yielded themselves to it
immediately, thinking they must not resist the Lord ; and so
little by little they might die or turn silly, if they got no help.

"What I know about the matter is that, when the Lord
begins to bestow joys on the soul, we being by nature so fond
of delights, it gives itself up to that pleasure so entirely as
not to be willing to move or lose it on any account ; for it
really is a greater pleasure than any worldly pleasures. This
takes place sometimes in a soul by nature weak, or whose
mind — or rather, imagination — is not lively but of a sort which,
when it has once laid hold on something, dwells on it without
distraction (as is the case with many people who, when they
begin to think of something, not necessarily of God, remain

40 Chapter VI

absorbed and, as it were, gazing at something without knowing
what they are gazing at — a sort of people slow by nature, who,
from inattention, forget what they were going to say). And so
it is when they are thinking of God, agreeably to their own
disposition or nature or weakness. Or suppose they are given
to melancholia, they will entertain a thousand pleasing
delusions.

Of a melancholic humour I will say a little by and bye.
But even without that, what I have described takes place, and
even in the case of people who are worn with penance : when,
as I have said, love begins to afford them a sensible pleasure,
they let themselves be carried away by it overmuch, as I have
said. To my mind, it would be a much better loving if they
did not let themselves go on mooning : for they could very well
resist it at this point in their prayer. For just as in bodily
weakness we experience a faintness which does not allow of
our speaking or moving, so it is here, if we do not resist ; for
if our natural temperament is weak, the vehemence of the
spirit lays hold on it and overcomes it.

I may be asked, What is the difference between this and
rapture ; for to all appearance it is the same ? So it is, in
appearance ; but not in reality : for rapture or the union
of all the powers of the soul lasts but a short time, as I say ;
and leaves behind it great effects, interior light, and many
other benefits ; and the understanding does not work at all,
but it is the Lord Who is working in the will. In the present
case it is very different : for although the body is made captive,
the will and memory and understanding are not, but their
operation is irregular, and if by chance they alight on some
subject, there they will stop and stay.

I see no advantage in this physical weakness — for it is
nothing else — except that it comes from a good beginning : it

Counsels to Prioresses 41

would be better to employ the time profitably than to be so long
half asleep. More can be gained by one act, or by often arousing
the will to love God, than by letting it remain passive. Therefore
I would advise Prioresses to do their utmost diligence to stop
these long drowsinesses : for all they do, in my opinion, is to
blunt the faculties and the understanding so that they cannot
perform the soul's bidding, and therefore deprive her of the
benefits which they ordinarily reap when they are taking care
to please the Lord. If the Prioresses see that it comes from
weakness, they should put a stop to their fasts and disciplines —
I mean, such as are not of obligation — and the time may come
when they will be able to give them all up with a good
conscience — and they should set them tasks which will take
off their minds from themselves.

And even if Sisters are not subject to these swoonings, yet
if their mind is too much engrossed, even with deep matters
of prayer, it must necessarily happen that they often are not
mistresses of themselves. In particular, if they have received
some unusual grace from the Lord or seen some vision, they
will be always thinking they are seeing it, when that is not
the case, but it was only once they saw it. Anyone who finds
herself going on in this dreamy torpor for long must try to
change the current of her thoughts ; for so long as she is
occupied with things Divine there is no harm in this : but let
her thoughts be first of one thing, then of another, just as they
employ themselves in her own affairs. And God is as well
pleased with our thinking sometimes of His creatures and of
His creative power, as with our thinking on the Creator Him-
self.

Oh wretched misery of man, which is such through sin
that even in what is good we require rule and measure lest we
bring ruin on our health so as to lose the fruition of our good !

42 Chapter VI

And indeed many of us, and especially those of weak head or
imagination, need self-knowledge ; and it is more to our Lord's
service, and very necessary. So if anyone sees that, when
her thoughts are fixed on some mystery of the Passion, or the
glory of heaven, or any such thing, she goes on for a long time
without being able, even if she wishes it, to turn them on
anything else, or leave off being immersed in this, let her
realise that she must divert them as best she may, or the time
will come when she will realise the harm of it, and that its
origin was what I have said — great weakness either of the
physical frame, or else of the mind, which is much worse.
For just as a lunatic, if he gets anything fixed in his mind, is
not master of himself, and cannot distract himself, nor think
of anything else, nor can any reasoning influence him, because
he is not master of his reason ; so it may happen in this
case, although it is a pleasurable madness.

Oh what harm may such an one do himself if he has a
melancholic temperament ! I can see no good whatever in it.
For the soul has a capacity for delighting in God Himself. If,
then, it is not for one of the reasons I have given above, why
should the soul, since God is infinite, be chained to only one
of His mysteries or attributes, when there are so many for us
to dwell upon ? And the more things of God we meditate on,
the more of His greatnesses we come to see. I do not say that
in one hour or even in one day we should meditate on many
subjects, for this would probably mean that we should not get
the good of any of them. As these questions are very nice,
I would not have you misunderstand, or think I am saying
what it has never entered into my head to say. I am sure
that it is so important to understand this chapter rightly,
that although it gives me trouble to write, I do not grudge it.
And I hope that anyone who does not understand it at the

Counsels to Prioresses 43

first reading will not grudge reading it over and over, especially
Prioresses and Novice mistresses who have to guide Sisters in
their methods of prayer. For if they are not careful at the
beginning, they will find how long it takes to set right such
weaknesses as these.

If I were to narrate the many instances of this evil which
have come to my knowledge, it would be seen what cause there
is for my making so much of it. I will only relate one ; and
from this the rest can be gathered. There were in one of our
monasteries a choir nun and a lay Sister. Both were highly
advanced in prayer, together with mortification and humility
and other virtues. The Lord shewed Himself very gracious to
them, and revealed to them His perfections. Above all, they
were so detached and so engrossed in His love that, though
we watched them closely, we saw no trace of failure to corre-
spond— as our weakness can — to the graces which our Lord
bestowed upon them. I have said so much of their goodness in
order that those who do not possess it may be the more in fear.

They began to have great impetuous longings for our Lord,
which they could not control. They thought these longings
were satisfied when they made their Communion : and so they
prevailed with their confessors to let them communicate
frequently. Thereby their pain came to increase so greatly
that they thought they would die if they were not given their
Communion daily. Their confessors seeing such souls with
such great longings thought — although one of them was very
spiritually minded — that that was the right remedy for their
suffering. It did not stop here : for the tension came to such
a pitch in one of them that they had to give her her Communion
early in the morning to keep her alive, according to her own
view. And they were not people who would feign, nor would
they have told a lie for anything in the world.

44 Chapter VI

I was not there at the time, and the Prioress wrote to tell
me what was going on. She said she could do nothing with
them ; and that such and such people said that, as there was
nothing else to be done, they should be relieved in this way.
By the Lord's will, I understood the matter at once : but for
all that, I said nothing until I could go to them, for fear I
might be mistaken ; and it would not have been right to oppose
the confessor's approval of it, until I could give him my reasons.
He was so humble that when I went there and spoke to him,
he believed me at once. The other was not so spiritual,
nothing indeed to compare with him ; and there was no means
of persuading him : but I cared little for that, because I was not
under the same obligation in regard to him. I began to talk
to the two Sisters, giving them many and, to my mind,
sufficient reasons to make them see that it was a mere fancy
to think they would die without this relief. But they had it
so firmly fixed in their minds that nothing in the way of
reasoning sufficed or could suffice to move them. I soon saw
it was useless : so I told them that I had the same longings as
they, and that I would abstain from Communion so that they
might believe that they also need not communicate except
when all the Sisters did : that we would all three die together ;
for I thought that would be much better than that a custom
of that kind should take root in our houses, where there were
Sisters who loved God quite as much as they did, and would
desire to do just as they did.

The harm which their custom had already done them had
come to such a pitch — and the devil must have had a hand in
it — that when they did go without making their Communion,
they really seemed as if they would die. I shewed great
severity : for the more I saw that they did not — because they
thought they could not — accept submissively what obedience

Counsels to Prioresses 45

required of them, the more clearly I saw it was a temptation.
They got through that day with great difficulty, the next with
rather less ; and thus it went on lessening : so that, even when
I made my Communion (because I was ordered to do so ; for,
seeing them so weak, I would not have done it) they endured
it very well. By and bye they and all the nuns saw that it
was a temptation. And a good thing it was that it was set
right in time : for shortly after, there arose in that house, not
by the Sisters' fault, difficulties with the ecclesiastical superiors
— of which I may perhaps speak hereafter — and they would have
been displeased with such a custom and would not have
allowed it.

Oh how many instances of this kind I could give ! I will
give only one more. It was not in one of our monasteries,
but in a Cistercian. There was a nun, quite as good as those
of whom I have spoken. Through many disciplines and fasts,
she came to be so weak that, every time she made her
Communion or whenever there was an occasion to inflame her
devotion, she used to fall on the ground, and there to remain
for eight or nine hours, in what she and everyone else thought
to be a trance. This happened so often that I believe great
harm would have come of it, if it had not been stopped. The
fame of these trances spread about all the neighbourhood.
I myself was sorry to hear of it, because it pleased the Lord
that I understood what it really was, and I was afraid of what
might come of it. The nun's confessor was like a father to
me, and he came to tell me the story. I told him what I
thought : that it was waste of time ; that it could not possibly
be a trance, but was only weakness ; and that he should make
her give up the fasts and disciplines, and should cause her
thoughts to be distracted. She obediently did as he bid her :
and after a little while, as she gained strength, there was

46 Chapter VI

no shadow of a trance. While if it had really been a trance,
there would have heen no stopping it until it was God's will
that it should cease; because the force of the spirit is so
great that our own strength cannot cope with it. Also, as I
have said, a trance leaves behind it great fruit in the soul ;
while this other experience leaves no more than if it had
never taken place, but only fatigue in the body.

Then let us learn from this to hold in suspicion anything
which so overcomes us that we see it does not leave our
reason free ; and remember that we shall never gain liberty of
spirit by such means. For one of the properties of this
liberty is the being able to think about all kinds of things and
find God in them. Anything but this is bondage of spirit :
and, let alone the harm it does to the body, it binds the soul
so that it cannot grow. It is as when people on a journey
come to a bog or quagmire which they cannot pass. So, in a
way, is it with the soul ; which, to advance through this, would
have not only to walk, but to fly. Oh when they say or think
they are engrossed with God, and cannot help it because they
are so rapt, and can by no means divert their thoughts — and
this is a common experience — let them consider what I repeat
again. There is no need for fear if this state lasts for only
one day, or four, or a week ; for it is no wonder that a weak
nature should remain in a maze for so long : but if it persists
beyond this, it must be stopped. What is good in all this is
that there is no sinful guilt in it, nor loss of merit ; but it
has the disadvantages which I have mentioned, and many
besides.

In the matter of Communions, it is very serious if a soul,
because of its love, is not submissive to the confessor and the
Prioress in this matter : if, although it feels its loneliness, it
is not enough to make it go to them. In this matter, as in

Counsels to Prioresses 47

others, the Sisters must be continually mortified, and must be
made to understand that it is better to give up their own will
than to take their own pleasure. Our self-love also may be
mingled in this. It has been so with me : for at one time it
often happened that when I had made my Communion, even
while the Host must still have been whole, if I saw others
communicating, I wished I had not done so in order that I
might communicate again. At the beginning I did not think
I need attend to this. But when it happened so often,
I afterwards came to reflect, and saw that it was more for my
own satisfaction than for the love of God : because when we
go to Communion, we usually feel a certain emotion and
sweetness ; and this was what drew me. Because if it had
been in order to have God within my soul, I had Him already ;
if to obey what is commanded us in regard to Communion,
I had done so already ; if to receive the graces which are
given to us in the Blessed Sacrament, I had already received
them. In short, I came to see clearly that there was nothing
in it but the desire of experiencing that sensible sweetness
over again.

This reminds me that in a place where I lived, where
there was one of our monasteries, I knew a woman who was a
great servant of God, according to popular estimation, and so
she must have been. She had no confessor in particular, and
she made her Communion daily, going for it sometimes to one
church, sometimes to another. I noticed that ; and I would
rather have seen her obeying one confessor than making so
many Communions. She lived alone, and, as it seemed to me,
did what she pleased : only that, as she was a good woman, all
she pleased was good. I spoke to her about it more than
once, but she paid no attention, and justly so, because she was
much better than I am. However, I thought I was not

48 Chapter VI

mistaken in this. The saintly Brother Peter of Alcantara
came to the place, and I got him to talk to her, and I was
not satisfied with the direction he gave her. But that might
have been because, wretched that we are, we are never
thoroughly satisfied with any but those who go on in the same
way as we do : for I believe that that woman did more
penance and served our Lord more in one year than I in many.
After a time she fell into a mortal sickness — this is what I am
coming to — and she took pains to get mass said daily in her
house and to receive the Blessed Sacrament. As her sickness
proved to be protracted, a certain ecclesiastic, a great servant
of God, who had often said the mass, at last thought it was
not right that she should communicate daily in her house.
It must have been the devil who suggested this ; for that day
happened to be her last, on which she died. When she saw
mass over and herself left without the Lord, she was so angry
and went into such a passion with the priest that he came,
greatly scandalized, to tell me about it. I was very unhappy
about it ; for even now I do not know whether she was ever
reconciled. I believe she died immediately.

From this I came to understand the harm of doing our
own will in anything, especially in so great a thing as this.
For anyone who so often approaches to the Lord ought to be
so alive to her own unworthiness that she would not do it
on her own judgement, but would let the obedience of
following direction supply what is lacking in our fitness to
approach so great a Lord — a lack which must always be great.
This good woman had an opportunity of greatly humbling
herself, and it might have done more for her than that
Communion, if she had thought that the priest was not in
fault, but that the Lord, seeing how wretched and unworthy
she was to receive Him in so poor a lodging, had thus ordered

Counsels to Prioresses 49

it. Thus did a certain person1 whose wise confessors often
kept her from her Communion, because her rule was to make
it often2. Although she felt this very keenly, she, on the
other hand, desired God's glory more than her own ; and so
did nothing but praise Him for awakening her confessor's
watchfulness over her, so that His Majesty should not enter
so wretched a lodging. And by the help of such considerations
she obeyed with great peace in her soul, although with a
loving and tender pain. But not for all the whole world
would she have gone against what was bidden her.

Believe me, the love of God — I mean, what seems to us
love, but it is not — which stirs our passions in such wise that
we commit any sin, or that the peace of our soul is troubled,
and it is so full of feeling as to be inaccessible to reason — this
sort of affection is plainly self-seeking. And the devil will
not be asleep, but will attack us when he thinks it will do us
the most harm, as he did to this woman. Indeed it frightened
me terribly, not that I believe it sufficed to hinder her salva-
tion, for God's goodness is great, but the temptation came at
a very bad time.

I have spoken of it here that the Prioresses may take
warning, and that the Sisters may fear- and consider and
examine themselves on their motives in approaching to receive
so great a gift. If it is to please God, they know already that
He is better pleased with obedience than sacrifice. Then if
this is so and I gain more, why should I be troubled ? I do
not mean that a humble sorrow would be wrong : for not all
have attained to the perfection of feeling none, only because

1 From St Theresa's rather depreciatory way of speaking of this person,
and from her praise of her confessors, it may safely be conjectured that
she was speaking of herself.

2 [Daily. Tr.]

T. F. 4

50 Chapter VI

they are doing what they understand to be more to God's
pleasure. For it is plain that none will be felt if the will is
entirely detached from all selfish likings : but on the contrary,
the soul will greatly rejoice because it has an opportunity of
pleasing the Lord by so costly a sacrifice ; and it will humble
itself and will abide as well satisfied with communicating
spiritually. But as in the beginnings — and even more at the
last — these strong desires of drawing near to the Lord are a
gift from Him, some emotion and pain may well be permitted
to souls when they are deprived of Communion, although
they should abide in peace and should draw from it matter
for acts of humility. I say, in the beginnings, because this is
the most important, for the Sisters are not so strong in the
other points of perfection of which I have spoken.

But if there should be with this desire any strong feeling
or anger or temptation to think wrongly of the Superior or
the confessor, believe me that it is a manifest temptation.
And if anyone should make up her mind to communicate in
spite of her confessor's telling her not, I should be sorry to
have the gain she would get by it : for in such matters we are
not to be our own judges. He who holds the keys for binding
and loosing is to be judge. May it please the Lord to give
us light to be wise in matters so important: and may we
never lack His help, that we may not turn His gifts into
occasions of displeasing Him.

CHAPTER VII

How to deal with melancholic nuns. Needful for Prioresses.

THESE my Sisters of St Joseph's at Salamanca, where I am
living while writing this, have earnestly begged me to say
something about how melancholic1 nuns should be treated.
Because although we are always extremely careful not to
admit those who suffer from it, it is so cunning that it feigns
death when this serves its purpose, so that we do not find it
out until it is too late. I think I have said something about
it in a little booklet of mine2, but I cannot remember. There
is no harm, anyhow, in speaking of it here, if the Lord is
pleased that I should speak aright. It may be that I have said
it at some other time : I would say it a hundred times over if I
thought I could succeed in saying anything profitable. The
devices which this temperament invents to get its own way
are so many that they have to be studied so as to be able
to endure it and control it, so that it may not do harm to
others.

It must be observed that not all people of this tempera-
ment are so troublesome: for when it lights on humble
and gentle subjects, though they are troublesome to them-

1 [It would perhaps be too great a liberty to render St Theresa's
" melancolia " by hysteria. Nevertheless, if this rendering is kept in
mind, much light is thrown on what she says. Tr.]

2 It has been conjectured from these words that St Theresa had written
some other treatise now lost. But in my opinion she is referring to the
first copy of The Way of Perfection, & quarto volume (which is in the
Escorial) instead of being a folio like the other writings.

4—2

52 Chapter VII

selves, they do no harm to others, especially if they are of
good understanding. And besides, there are different degrees
of this temperament. I fully believe that in some people the
devil takes it as his handle for getting them into his power;
and that if they are not exceedingly careful, he will do so.
For, as the chief effect of this temper is to overcome the
reason, and so this becomes obscured ; what then, under such
conditions, will not our passions do ?

Not having the use of one's reason seems the same as
being mad, and so it is : only that in those of whom we are
speaking the evil has not come to such a pitch, and it would
be a much less evil if it had. For having to behave as a
reasonable being, and having to treat some one as such when
she is not so, is an intolerably difficult situation. For to those
who are altogether sick of this malady, compassion is to be
shewn, but the)7 do no harm; and if there is any way of
keeping them under control, it is to put them in fear. Those
in whom this malignant evil is only begun but has not taken
such firm hold, yet must be treated in the same way, when
other means fail ; as the evil is of the same quality and root,
and springs from the same stock. The Prioresses must avail
themselves of the penances in use in the Order; and must
aim at so bringing them under control that they may re-
cognize that they will not succeed in getting everything nor
anything they want. For if they find that their clamour and
the desperate things which the devil says in them to ruin
them have sometimes succeeded, then they are lost. And
one of such is enough to disquiet a whole monastery. For
as the poor creature has in herself nothing with which to
defend herself from the devil's suggestions, the Prioress must
take the greatest pains to direct her, not only outwardly but
inwardly. As reason is obscured in the sick nun, it must be

Counsels to Prioresses 53

the clearer in the Prioress, so that the devil shall not begin
to obtain power over that soul, by means of this malady.

It is a dangerous thing. For this temper is sometimes
of such violence as to overcome the reason altogether; and
when this is so, they are not to blame, as madmen are not,
whatever follies they commit. But people are to be blamed
when their reason is not quite overcome, but only weakened,
and they are at times quite well. They must not be allowed
to take liberties when they are at their worst, lest when they
are well they should not be able to master themselves: for
this artifice of the devil's is much to be dreaded ; and thus, if
we consider it, what they are mostly at is the getting their
own way, and saying whatever comes into their head, and
finding out faults in others to hide their own with, and
pleasing themselves with whatever they have a fancy for:
acting, in short, as one who has in himself no power to
control himself. Then, with passions unmortified and every
one of which wants to get its own way, what will happen if
there is no one to control them ?

I repeat, as one who has seen and dealt with many
people suffering from this malady, that there is no other
remedy for it but to bring them into subjection by all possible
ways and means. If words will not suffice, then punishments ;
if slight ones will not suffice, then severe ; if one month's im-
prisonment will not suffice, then four: for no greater good
can be done for their souls. Because, (as I have said, and say
again, for it is important that the nuns themselves should
understand it) : although once or more than once they may be
really not responsible for their actions; as it is not a con-
firmed madness of a kind which makes wrong-doing blameless
(although it may be so at times, yet not habitually), the soul
is in great danger. Except it is, as I say, a case of such

54 Chapter VII

entire loss of reason that the nun is constrained to do what
she says or does when she cannot help herself. It is a great
mercy of God to those who suffer under this malady, when
they submit themselves to some one who can control them ;
for this is their only safety in the danger of which I have
spoken. And for the love of God, if any of them should
read this, let her consider that her salvation may depend
on it.

I know some whose understanding is all but completely
unsound, but who are so humble-minded and fearful of offend-
ing God that, although they dissolve in tears when they are
alone, they do nothing but what they are told, and bear their
infirmity as others do : but this being a greater suffering, their
glory will be the greater; and having their purgatory here,
they will not have it hereafter. But I repeat that those who
will not do this of their own accord must be compelled to it
by the Prioress, and must not be led on by imprudent kind-
nesses till they come to upset everyone by their disorderliness.

For besides the danger to the nun herself of which I have
spoken, there is another most serious evil: that when the
other Sisters see her, as they think, in good health, but do
not realise what inward struggles she goes through, our nature
is so wretched that every one will be tempted to affect melan-
cholia, so that she may be borne with ; and in fact the devil
will make her actually think herself melancholic. And so the
devil will succeed in making a havoc which, by the time it is
found out, will be difficult to undo. And this is so important
that no negligence must be tolerated in a melancholic Sister :
but if she disobeys the Superior, she must be punished for it
like the sane, and must never be let off; if she speaks wrongly
to any of her Sisters, the same ; and so in everything else of
the kind.

Counsels to Prioresses 55

It may seem unjust that the sick should suffer as the
sane, when they cannot help what they do : so must it be,
then, to confine and beat madmen, but they ought to be
allowed to kill everybody. Believe me; for I have proved
it, and, having tried all sorts of remedies, find none but this
to answer. And a Prioress who out of pity allows such as
these to begin to do as they please — at last, at last, it will be
unendurable, and when it comes to setting it right, that will
only be after much harm has been done to the others. And
if madmen are confined and punished in order that they may
not kill people, and it is right to do so, although we are very
sorry for them because they cannot help it, how much greater
precautions must be taken that these Sisters may not injure
souls with their wilfulnesses ?

And I really believe that very often, as I have said, it is
not so much their malady which makes some of them act thus
as their natural disposition, wilful, proud, and ill-disciplined :
for I have seen them control themselves and behave properly
for some one whom they feared ; then why cannot they do so
for God?

I am afraid that the devil is seeking to make prey of
many souls under colour of this temper, as I have said. For
it is more common than it used to be; and the reason is that
all self-will and licence are now called melancholia. So I have
thought that, in our houses and in all religious houses, we
ought not to take this word on our lips, because it seems to
carry with it licence ; but that it should be called a dangerous
illness — and how dangerous it is ! — and be treated as such.
For it is sometimes quite necessary to use some sort of medical
treatment to dissipate the violence of the malady and make it
endurable, and the patient should be kept in the infirmary.
But she must recognize that when she comes out to join the

56 Chapter VII

Community she will have to be submissive like the rest ; and
if she is not, her malady will not avail as an excuse ; because,
for the reasons given above, this is necessary: and I could
give more.

Without the Sisters themselves perceiving it, the Prior-
esses should help them along with tender compassion, just
like a true mother, and should keep thinking of ways of
doing them good. I seem to be contradicting myself, because
so far I have said that they are to be treated with severity.
So I say again, that they must not suppose that they can get
their own way, nor must they get it. It must be clearly laid
down that they are to obey ; for it is in their feeling they need
not that the evil lies. Still, as they have not the strength to
do violence to themselves, the Prioress may refrain from com-
manding them to do anything which she knows they will
refuse, but try to lead them on discreetly and by affection to
all that is really necessary; so that, if possible, they may
obey her from affection, which will be much better : and this is
usually the case if she shews them much affection, and makes
them see it by her words and deeds.

And it must be borne in mind that the best remedy at the
Prioresses' disposal is to give them plenty to do, so that they
may have no opportunity for idle imaginations ; for the whole
evil comes from these. And although they may not do the
work so well, yet let some faults be put up with, that other
worse faults may not have to be endured in them when they
are past help. For I know this to be the most efficacious
remedy that can be used. And it must also be arranged that
they shall not spend much time in prayer, not even so much
as others spend; because they mostly have a weak imagina-
tion, and it is very bad for them : and if this is not done,
they will be fancying things which neither they nor any-

Counsels to Prioresses 57

one who listens to them will be able to make sense of. Care
must be taken that they eat fish but seldom ; also they must
not be allowed to keep such prolonged fasts as the others.

It may seem disproportionate to give so much advice
about this evil and about no other, when in our wretched
life there are so many serious evils, especially in the weak-
ness of women. I have done it for two reasons: the first,
that they seem to be in good health, because they will not
own to this malady. And as, having no fever, they are not
obliged to stay in bed nor send for the doctor, the Prioress
must be their physician; because this malady is more inimical
to all excellences than those which keep people in bed in
peril of death. The second reason is that in other sicknesses
people get well or die : in this, it is a wonder if they recover,
nor do they die of it; but they come to lose their reason
completely — a sort of dying which is the death of everybody
else.

They suffer death enough within themselves with their
miseries, fancies, and scruples: and thus they may reap
exceeding spiritual gain, although they always call them
temptations: but if they could once understand that these
come from nothing but their malady, it would be a great
relief to them because they might be able to disregard it.
Indeed I am very sorry for them; and so ought all to be
who live with them, considering that they themselves might
be thus dealt with by the Lord, and helping them along
without their perceiving it, as I have said. May it please
the Lord that I have hit the mark in what has to be done
for so grievous a sickness !

CHAPTER VIII

Counsels in regard to revelations and visions.

IT seems to frighten some people only to hear the word
vision or revelation. I do not know why they reckon it so
dangerous a road when God leads a soul by this way, nor
whence has arisen this terror. I do not now intend to treat
of the difference between good and evil visions, nor of the
marks which very learned men have given me to know them
by; but of what anyone who finds herself in such circumstances
had better do : because there are few confessors she can go to
who will not frighten her. For it is a fact that they are not
so shocked to hear that the devil has been setting before us
all sorts of temptations, of the spirit of blasphemy, of foolish
and ugly things, as they are scandalized to hear that some
angel has appeared or spoken to us or that we have seen in a
vision Jesus Christ our Lord on the cross.

No more do I mean now to treat of the great blessings
brought to the soul by revelations which come from God, for
this is well known : but of images produced by the devil to
deceive us, making use of the likeness of Christ our Lord or
His saints. For my part, I hold that His Majesty will not
permit this, nor give him power to deceive anyone by such
images, unless it is by the person's own fault ; but that it is
the devil himself who will be mistaken. I mean that no one
will be deceived if he is humble : so there is nothing to be
terrified about, but we should trust in the Lord, and pay
little attention to such things, except by turning them to His
greater praise.

Counsels to Prioresses 59

I know of some one1 whose confessors caused her sore
distress over such things, when afterwards, they were seen to
have come from God, because of the great fruit and good
works which resulted from them. It was hard for her when
in some vision she beheld His likeness, to cross herself and
treat it with contempt ; for so she had been told to do.
Afterwards, when she spoke of it to a very learned Dominican,
Master Fray Domingo Banez, he told her that it was wrong
for anyone to do so ; because it is right to reverence the
likeness of our Lord wherever we may see it, even if the
devil had depicted it — for he is a great artist ; and that,
intending to do us harm, he would, on the contrary, have done
us good service if he depicted a crucifix or some other
likeness of our Lord so life-like that it remained engraved in
our heart.

This reasoning greatly commended itself to me : because
when we see a very good picture, we should not fail to think
highly of it, even if we knew that it was painted by a bad
man ; nor should we so make account of the painter as to lose
our edification. For the good or evil is not in the vision, but
in whoever beholds it and does not humbly profit by it : for if
he is humble, it can do him no harm even if it is from the
devil ; and if he is not, it can do him no good even if it is
from God. Because if he is puffed up by that which is meant
to make him abase himself, seeing that he is unworthy of that
favour, it is like the spider, who turns all that he eats into
poison, and not like the bee, who turns it all into honey.

I must explain myself more fully. If our Lord of His
goodness is pleased, in order that some soul may know and
love Him better, to appear to it, or to reveal to it some secret

1 Herself. Life, ch. xxix. Not only Banez condemned this, but also
the venerable Juan de Avila, as he has recorded.

60 Chapter VIII

of His, or to bestow on it any special consolations or graces ;
and if, as I have said, that soul, because of what ought to
humble it and make it feel how unworthy of this favour is its
abjectness, should consider itself straightway as a saint, and
should suppose that this favour has been done it on account
of some service it has rendered, then it is plain that, like the
spider, it turns to evil the great good which it might thence
have derived.

Then say that the devil, in order to stir up pride, produces
these apparitions. If then the soul, thinking they come from
God, humbles itself and acknowledges itself to be unworthy of
so great a favour, and strives earnestly to serve God better :
because it sees itself enriched while it is unworthy to eat the
crumbs which fall from the table of those people to whom, as
it has heard, God has granted such favours — unworthy, I
mean, to be the servant of any of them — if it humbles itself
and begins in earnest to do penance and to be more in prayer,
and to be more careful not to offend our Lord, because it
thinks this favour comes from Him, and to obey Him more
perfectly : then I can answer for it that the devil will not do
it again, but will go away ashamed, leaving no harm done to
the soul.

"When a Sister is told to do something or told the future,
in that case she must tell it to a sensible and learned confessor,
and not do or believe anything but what he tells her. She
should tell the Prioress of it, that she may appoint her such a
confessor. And she may rest assured that if she does not
do what the confessor tells her and allow herself to be
guided by him, her experiences come from an evil spirit or a
terrible melancholia. For, supposing that the confessor were
mistaken, she would not be mistaken in keeping to what he
said, even if it had been an angel of God that had spoken to

Counsels to Prioresses 61

her: for His Majesty will" give light to the confessor or will
otherwise provide for the accomplishment of His word. And
there is no danger in acting thus ; but in acting otherwise
there may be great danger and great harm.

Let it be considered that the weakness of nature is very
weak, especially in women, and shews more in this way of
prayer ; so we must be careful not at once to suppose every
little fancy to be a vision : for, believe me, when it really is so,
there can be no question about it. Where there is any touch
of melancholia, much greater caution is necessary : for I have
known of things about such fancies which have made me
wonder and wonder how people can possibly believe in such
good faith that they have seen what they have not seen.

Once there came to me a highly esteemed confessor, who
heard the confessions of a certain person ; and she had told him
that our Lady often came and sat on her bed, and stayed
more than an hour talking to her, and telling her things to come
and much besides. Out of such a number of follies one came
true ; and so all the rest were firmly believed. I saw at once
what it was, but I dared not say so ; for we live in a world
where we have to consider what people may think of us, for
our words to have any effect. So I said to the confessor that
he should wait to see whether those prophecies came true, and
ask about other effects of the visits, and find out what sort of
life that person lived. In the end, when he came to find out,
it was all folly.

I could tell so many things of this kind as would be
ample proof of my point : that a soul should not readily give
credence, but should keep its judgement in suspense, and
know its own mind very well before it speaks, lest, without
intending it, it should deceive the confessor : for, however
learned he may be, that does not suffice for understanding

62 Chapter VIII

these things, if he has no experience in them. Not many
years ago, but quite lately, a man made fools of some very
learned and spiritually minded people with things of this
kind, until he came to speak with someone who had experience
in such favours of the Lord, and who saw clearly that it was
madness, together with delusions, although at that time it was
not acknowledged, but carefully concealed. Shortly after-
wards, the Lord made it plainly manifest; but the person who
had perceived it had much to suffer first, from not being
believed.

For these and similar reasons, it is important that each
Sister should clearly describe to the Prioress her manner of
prayer. And the Prioress should carefully consider her
disposition and spiritual attainments, in order to inform the
confessor, so that he may understand better : and she should
choose her a suitable confessor, if the ordinary one is not
capable of dealing with such things. She must take great
care that matters of this kind do not get abroad (not though
they may really come from God and be confessedly miraculous)
nor be made known to confessors who have not the sense
to keep silence about them : for this is most important, more
so than they know. Nor must Sisters talk among themselves
about these things. But the Prioress must always be ready
to listen to them discreetly, inclining rather to commend
those who are distinguished for humility and mortification
and obedience than those whom God is leading by this very
supernatural way of prayer, even though they also may have
all these virtues. For if it is the spirit of the Lord, it will
bring with it the humility to relish being thought little of; so
it will do them no harm, and it will be good for the others.
Because as these cannot attain to that way of prayer — for God
grants it to whom He will — they may feel discouraged about

Malagon 63

having only those virtues : and although these too are the
gift of God, yet more can be done towards the attainment of
them, and they are of great value in the Religious life. May
His Majesty bestow them upon us ! He will not deny them to
anyone who, with perseverance and carefulness and prayer,
seeks for them with trust in His mercy.

CHAPTER IX

Of the Foundation of St Joseph's at Malagon.

How I have wandered from my purpose ! And yet the
counsels I have given may be more to the purpose than the
accounts of the foundations. "Well, I was at St Joseph's of
Medina del Campo, very happy at seeing the Sisters tread in
the same steps as those at St Joseph's of Avila, of sincere
religion, fraternity, and zeal ; and happy at seeing how our
Lord provided what was necessary for His house, both for the
church and for the Sisters. Some women entered the convent
whom our Lord seemed to have chosen as being the right sort
for the foundation of such a house ; for I have learned that
on the good beginning of a house depends its subsequent well-
doing ; for later comers go on in the ways they find there.

There was at Toledo a lady1, sister of the Duke of
Medinaceli, in whose house, by order of my Superiors, I had
stayed, as I have narrated more at length in the account of
the foundation of St Joseph's2. This had made her conceive
a special affection for me, which must have had something to
do with the interest which she took in my doings : for His

1 Dona Luisa de la Cerda, widow of Arias Pardo and owner of
Malagon.

2 Life, ch. xxxiv.

64 Chapter IX

Majesty often brings about such effects from things which to
us, who know not the future, seem of little use. This lady,
understanding that I had a licence to found convents, began
begging earnestly that I would establish one in her own town,
Malagon. I was not at all inclined to consent ; because the
place is so small that we could not be maintained there
without an endowment, to which I was strongly opposed.

When I discussed the matter with learned men and with
my confessor, they told me that I was doing wrong : that
since the Holy Council1 permitted endowment, I ought not to
refuse to found a convent where the Lord might be so well
served, because of my own opinion. To this was added the
lady's urgent requests ; so that I could not help accepting the
foundation. She granted us a sufficient endowment : for I
always like convents to be either altogether without means, or
else with enough to supply the nuns with necessaries without
their having to beg of anyone. I took all possible precautions
that no Sister should be able to possess anything of her own,
but that the Constitutions might be kept in every respect as
in the houses founded in poverty.

When all the legal documents were completed, I sent for
some Sisters to begin the foundation, and we went with that
lady to Malagon. There the house was not ready for us, so we
were more than a week in an apartment in the Castle. On
Palm Sunday, 1568, the procession of the place came for us,
and we went, with our veils over our faces and our white
cloaks, to the parish church, where a sermon was preached ;
and thence they carried the Blessed Sacrament to our convent.
It moved everyone to devotion. I stayed there some time.
One day when I was in prayer, after my Communion, I under-

1 [Of Trent. Tr.]

Valladolid 65

stood from our Lord that He would be greatly served in that
house. I think I was there not quite two months ; for my
spirit was urging me to make haste to found the house of
Valladolid, for the reason which I will now relate.

CHAPTER X

Of the Foundation at Valladolid of the Convent of the Conception of

our Lady of Carmel.

FOUR or five months before the foundation of the Convent
of St Joseph at Malagon, a young man of noble family who
was talking to me said that, if I liked to found a convent at
Valladolid, he would be very glad to give me a house of his,
with a very large and good garden, which contained a large
vineyard, and he would like to give me possession of it at
once. It was of considerable value. I accepted it, although
I had not quite made up my mind to found a convent there,
because it was about a quarter of a league from the town.
However, I thought that when once we had taken possession
there, we might be able to move into the town. And as he
made the offer so spontaneously, I did not like to refuse to
carry out his good work or hinder his devotion.

About two months after this, he was taken ill so suddenly
that he could not speak nor make his confession clearly,
although he made many gestures shewing that he was praying
to the Lord for forgiveness. He died very shortly, a long
long way off from where I was staying. The Lord told me
that his salvation had been in grave peril ; but that He had
had mercy on him on account of the service he had done
to His Mother in giving that house for a convent of her
Order : he would be kept in purgatory until the first mass

T. F. 5

66 Chapter X

was said there; when he would be released. The grievous
pains of that soul were so continually borne home to me, that
although I was wishing to found a house at Toledo, I gave it
up for the time, and made all the haste I could to found at
Valladolid as best I might.

I could not be so quick as I wished, because I was
unavoidably detained for a good time at St Joseph's at Avila,
of which I was in charge, and afterwards at St Joseph's at
Medina del Campo, for I travelled that way. There one day
while I was in prayer, the Lord told me to make haste, for
that soul was in great suffering. So although I was not very
well equipped for it, I put it in hand, and entered Valladolid
on the Feast of St Lawrence.

But when I saw the house, I was filled with dismay, for
I saw it would be foolish to let nuns live there, unless a great
deal was spent upon the place. And although it was a very
pleasant place, the garden being so delightful, it could not
fail to be unhealthy ; for it was close to the river. Tired
though I was, I had to go to Hear mass at a monastery of our
Order, at the entrance of the town : and it was such a long
way that it redoubled my distress. For all that, I said nothing
to my companions, so as not to discourage them : for, though
weak, I had some confidence that the Lord Who had told me
what I have said, would make it come right. I sent for
workmen in great secrecy, and began to have mud walls built
for purposes of enclosure and whatever was necessary.

The ecclesiastic of whom I have spoken, Julian of Avila,
was with us, and one1 of the two friars who, as I have said,
wished to become Barefoot brothers. He was learning our
way of living in these houses. Julian of Avila employed
himself in getting the Ordinary's licence, which he had given

1 St John of the Cross.

Valladolid 67

me good hopes of, before I set out. It could not be accom-
plished so quickly but that a Sunday came before it was
obtained : but we were given leave to have mass said in the
room which we had for a chapel ; and so it was said for us.

I was very far from imagining that what had been told me
of the young man's soul would be accomplished then : for,
although I had been told it would be at the first mass,
I supposed this meant the mass when the Blessed Sacrament
would be reserved. But when the priest came with the
Blessed Sacrament in his hands to where we were to communi-
cate, and when I came up to the priest to receive It, I saw in
a vision this young man, his face shining and full of joy, with
clasped hands, and he thanked me for what I had done to
enable him to come out of purgatory, and depart into heaven.
And certainly, when I first heard that he was in the way of
salvation, I was very far from thinking so, and was in great
distress, considering that such a life as his demanded a
different kind of death. For, though there was much good in
him, he was much mixed up in worldly matters. It is true,
he had said to my companions that he continually had death
before his mind. It is wonderful what pleasure our Lord takes
in any service done to His Mother ; and great is His mercy.
May He be praised and blessed for all, Who thus rewards with
eternal life and glory the poverty of our works, and makes
them great though they are worth little.

Well, on the Day of the Assumption of our Lady, the
15th of August, 1568, possession was taken of the convent.
We did not stay there long, because we almost all fell ill.
There was a lady there, Dona Maria de Mendoza, wife of the
Knight Commander Cobos, and mother of the Marquis of
Camarasa, a good Christian, and very liberal, as her abundant
alms testified. She had done me kindnesses in past times

5—2

68 Chapter X

when I had had to do with her, because she was sister to the
Bishop of Avila, who helped us much with our first convent,
and has done so in all the affairs of the Order. She saw our
plight, and that we could not stay there without serious
difficulties, because of being too far off for alms, and because
of sickness. And, being so charitable, she proposed to us to
give that house to her, and she would buy us another : and
so she did, one which was worth much more; and she has
provided us with all necessaries up to the present time, and so
she will do as long as she lives.

On St Blaise's Day we moved into it, with a great pro-
cession, amidst the devotion of the people, which is still
maintained, because the Lord grants many mercies in that
house and has drawn to it souls whose sanctity will be known
in His good time to the praise of the Lord Who makes use of
such means to advance His works and give blessings to His
creatures.

For a very young Sister entered that house who shewed
what the world is worth by despising it. And I think good to
narrate it here in order to shame those who love the world,
and that girls into whose hearts the Lord may put good
desires and inspirations may learn from her example to carry
them out.

There was at Valladolid a lady named Dona Maria de
Acufia, sister of the Count de Buendia, and wife of the
Governor1 of Castille. He died, leaving her with one son and
two daughters, and very young. She began to lead a life of
such sanctity, and bringing up her children so virtuously as
to deserve that the Lord should choose them for Himself.
I am wrong : she had three daughters. One soon became a
nun ; another would not marry, but lived a very edifying life
with her mother. The son began very early to see what the

1 [Adelantado. Tr.]

Valladolid 69

world was, and to be called by God to the Religious life so
strongly that no one was able to put him off. His mother,
however, was delighted, and must have helped him much with
her prayers to the Lord ; although not openly, because of his
relations. Indeed, when the Lord chooses a soul for Himself,
no creatures can prevail to hinder it. So it happened here :
for when by much persuasion they had kept him back for
three years, he entered the Company of Jesus. Dona Maria
told one of her confessors, who told me, that never in her life
had such joy come to her heart as on the day when her son
was professed. 0 Lord, what a mercy Thou grantest to those
to whom Thou givest such parents, who so truly love their
children that they would have them possess their estates and
inheritances and riches in that blessed life which has no end !
It is a matter deeply to be regretted that the world is so
wretched and blind that parents reckon their honour to
consist in the continuance of the memorials of their possession
of the dunghill of this world's goods, which sooner or later
must come to an end — and all temporal things, however
lasting, come to an end, and are to be held of no account —
and desire to keep up their vanities at the expense of their
poor children, and audaciously rob God of souls whom He
desires for Himself. And these souls they rob of so great a
good that, although there were no eternity in which God
invites them to dwell with Him, it would be a great happiness
to find themselves free from the weary customs of the world,
which are the more wearisome the greater their possessions.
Open their eyes, 0 my God. Shew them what their love
should be for their children, that they may not deal so ill with
them ; and that their children may not bring it up against
them before God in the last judgement, where, however un-
willingly, they will understand what everything is really worth.

70 Chapter X

As then, God in His mercy drew out of the world Don
Antonio de Padilla, the son of Dona Maria de Acuna, at the
age of ahout seventeen, the property came to the eldest
daughter, Dona Luisa de Padilla. The Count of Buendia
had no children, and Don Antonio inherited his title as well as
the governorship of Castille. Since that is not to my point,
I will not enter on all that he suffered at the hands of his
relations before accomplishing his purpose : those who know
what worldly people feel about having an heir to their family
will realise this well enough.

0 Jesus Christ our Lord, Son of the Eternal Father, true
King of creation, what didst Thou leave in the world for us
Thy children to inherit ? What hadst Thou, 0 my Lord, but
toil and suffering and insult ? And even to go through the
anguish of death Thou hadst nothing but the hard wood.
Surely, 0 my God, we who aspire to be Thy true children and
not renounce our inheritance — it does not beseem us to fly
from suffering. The arms Thou bearest are five wounds. Ah
then, my daughters, this must be our device also if we are to
inherit His kingdom. Not with ease, not with pleasures, not
with honours, not with riches can we gain that which He
purchased with so much blood.

. 0 ye of high birth, for the love of God open your eyes !
Mark the true knights of Jesus Christ and the princes of
His Church. A St Peter, a St Paul did not take the way
which you are taking. Do you think, peradventure, that a
new way is to be made for you ? Believe it not. See how
our Lord began shewing you the way through people so youth-
ful as those of whom we are now speaking. Don Antonio
I have sometimes seen and spoken with : he would gladly have
had greater possessions in order to renounce them. Blessed
youth and blessed damsel, who, at an age at which the world

Valladolid 71

is used to ruling over those who dwell in it, were counted
worthy by God of grace to reject it ! Blessed is He Who so
abundantly wrought in them !

When, then, the family honours devolved on the elder
daughter, she cared as little for them as her brother : for from
a child she had been so much given to prayer, through which
our Lord gives light to know the truth, that she esteemed it
all as lightly as her brother. Alas, my God, what difficulties
and vexations and law suits and even risk of life and honour
many would have gone through for the succession to this
inheritance ! But these two went through not a little to gain
permission to renounce it. Such is this world ; it would shew
us its own absurdities plainly enough, if we were not blind.
With a very good will, that she might be left free from this,
inheritance, did she renounce it in favour of her sister, who
was about ten or eleven : for there was no other heir. Her
relations, in order that their wretched family name might not
perish, immediately arranged to marry the little girl to an
uncle, brother of her father ; and they got a dispensation
from the sovereign Pontiff, and betrothed them.

It was not our Lord's pleasure that the daughter of such
a mother and the sister of such a brother and sisters should
remain more mistaken than they were ; and thus what I am
about to relate came to pass. The child had begun to take
pleasure in her worldly dress and adornments, which would
naturally please one of her tender years : but in less than two
months after her betrothal, our Lord began to give her light,
although at the time she did not understand it. Having
spent a day very happily with her betrothed, whom she cared
for with an affection beyond her years, a great sadness came
over her on considering that as this day had come to an end,
so would every day. Oh, how great is God ! From the very

72 Chapter X

pleasure which the pleasures of perishing things gave her, she
was led to turn against them. She began to experience a
sadness so deep that she could not conceal it from her
betrothed ; nor did she know whence it arose, nor what to tell
him about it, although he questioned her.

At that time her betrothed had to take a journey which
obliged him to go very far away; and she felt it keenly,
because she cared for him so much. But suddenly our Lord
revealed to her the cause of her sadness, which was that her
soul was attracted to that which has no ending; and she
began to reflect that her brother and sister had taken the
safer course, and had left her amid the perils of the world.
This on the one hand ; and on the other hand the thought that
there was no help for it — for she did not know until later,
when she made enquiries, that it was possible for her, although
betrothed, to become a nun — this kept her in sadness; and
above all, the affection which she had for her betrothed kept
her undecided ; and so she went on sorrowfully. But as our
Lord had chosen her for Himself, He kept lessening this
affection and increasing her desire of giving up all.

At that time she was only moved by the desire to save her
soul and to find out the best means for this ; for she thought
that if she were more immersed in worldly things, she might
forget to seek that which is eternal. At this tender age God
imbued her with wisdom to seek how she might gain that
which has no end. Happy soul, so early to emerge from the
darkness in which so many who are old die !

When she saw her heart was at liberty, she resolved to give it
entirely to God, and began to speak of it to her sister : for hither-
to she had kept silence. Her sister, thinking it a childish fancy,
dissuaded her from it, and told her, among other things, that
she could very well be saved in the estate of matrimony. The

Casilda de Padilla 73

child answered, " Then why did you yourself renounce it ? '
And for some time her desire went on increasing, although her
mother dared not say anything : but perhaps it was she who,
by her holy prayers, was carrying on the conflict.

CHAPTER XI

Continues the story of Dona Casilda de Padilla and how she succeeded
in carrying out her holy desires for the Religious life.

AT that time it happened that the habit was given to
a lay Sister, Sister Estefania of the Apostles, in the Convent of
the Conception. I may perhaps later on tell the story of her
vocation; because, although these two were in different
positions — for Sister Estefania was a labourer's daughter — yet
the great graces which God bestowed on her deserve to be
recorded of her, to the glory of His Majesty. When she took
the habit, Dona Casilda — for that was the name of this
beloved of our Lord — went to the service with her grand-
mother, the mother of her betrothed. She took a great liking
to the convent, thinking that the nuns there could serve the
Lord better from being few and poor. However, at that time
she had not made up her mind to quit her betrothed ; for, as
I have said, it was the giving him up which most held her
back.

She reflected that before her betrothal she used to observe
times of prayer, because her mother in her goodness and
saintliness observed them and brought up her children to it :
from the age of seven she used to make them go into the
oratory at certain times, and she taught them how to meditate
on the Passion of our Lord, and made them go often to
confession. Her desire was to dedicate them to God : and

74 Chapter XI

thus she saw the good fruit of her longing. She has told me
that she used continually to offer them to God, beseeching
Him to take them out of the world; for she was already
disenchanted as to the world's value. I sometimes think when
they find themselves in the fruition of everlasting joy, knowing
that they owe it to their mother, what thanks they will give
her, and what her special joy will be in seeing them there.
And I think of those whose parents, on the contrary, have not
brought them up as the children of God — Whose they are more
than their parents' — and what cursing and despair there will
be when they see each other in hell.

Then, to return to what I was saying, when she found that
it was irksome to her even to recite the Rosary, she was sorely
afraid that she would grow worse and worse. And she seemed
to see clearly that her salvation would be assured if she came
into this house; and so she quite made up her mind. And
one morning when she and her mother and her sister together
came thither, it happened that they went inside the house,
without the least idea of what she was going to do. When
she found herself within, nobody could get her out again.
Her weeping and entreaties to be allowed to stay were such
that they did not know what to do. Her mother, although
secretly rejoicing, was afraid of the relations, and did not wish
her to remain, as things were, lest they should say it was by
her persuasion : the Prioress also was of the same mind,
thinking her a child, and that she needed more probation.
This was in the morning. They had to stay until the evening;
and they sent for her confessor, and for the master Father
Fray Domingo, who was mine, the Dominican whom I men-
tioned at the beginning. I was not there myself. This Father
saw at once that it was the work of the Spirit of God. (And he
helped her greatly, going through much at the hands of her

Casilda de Padilla 75

relations. So indeed ought all those who profess to serve
God to do, when they see a soul to be called by God, and
they ought not to be so much influenced by worldly prudence.)
He promised to help her to return some other day. And he
got her to go away for this time, with great persuasion, lest
the blame should be laid on her mother.

Her desires kept increasing in strength. Her mother began
to speak of it to her relations ; privately, so that the secret
should not come to the knowledge of the betrothed. They
said it was childishness, and she must wait until she was old
enough ; for she had not completed her twelfth year. The child
said, They had thought her old enough to be married and left
in the world ; how was it they did not think her old enough
to give herself to God ? She so spoke that it was plain to see
it was not herself who was speaking. The thing could not be
kept so secret but that the betrothed got to know of it. When
she heard that, she felt she could bear to wait no longer. So
one day, on the Feast of the Conception, when she was staying
with her grandmother, who was also her mother-in-law, who
knew nothing about this, she begged and besought her to let
her go into the country with her nurse for a little amusement.
Her grandmother, to content her, did so, sending her in a
carriage with her servants. The child gave some money to
one of them, asking him to get some vine-branches or faggots
and wait with them at the door of this convent, and she had
the carriage driven round by a way which brought her back
past the house. When it arrived at the door, she told the
servants to ask at the grating for a jar of water, without
saying who it was for, and she herself hastily alighted. They
said they would give it to her outside ; but that she would not
have. The faggots were already there ; and she told the
servants to ask the Sisters to come to the door for them.

76 Chapter XI

She stood close by : and when they opened the door, in
she went, and went and threw her arms round the statue of
our Lady, weeping and imploring the Prioress not to send her
away. Loud were the cries of the servants and their knocking
at the door. She went and spoke to them through the grating,
and said she would not come out for anything in the world,
and they must go and tell her mother. The women who had
gone out with her made piteous lamentations ; but she cared
for none of it. When they told the news to her grand-
mother, she went there immediately. But neither she, nor an
uncle, nor her betrothed, who, when he came, succeeded in
talking to her at the grating, could do more than distress her
while they were with her ; but they left her more determined
than before. Her betrothed, after many piteous lamentations,
told her that she could serve God more by giving alms. She
answered that he might give them himself : and in answer to
the rest she told him that her strongest obligation was her
own salvation, that she knew herself to be weak, and that
among the temptations of the world she would not be saved ;
and that he could not complain of her, since it was only for
God she had left him, and this was doing no wrong to him.
When she found that nothing convinced him, she got up and
left him. He made no impression upon her; rather on the
whole he put her against him. For when God gives the light
of truth to a soul, the devil's temptations and obstacles only
help it the more, because it is God Himself Who fights for it.
Thus in this case it was clearly seen, for it appeared not to be
herself who was speaking.

When her betrothed and her relations saw of how little
use it was to try to get her out by her own consent, they took
measures for doing so by force. So they obtained an order
from the King to take her out of the convent and restore her to

Casilda de Padilla 77

liberty. During all this time, from the Feast of the Conception
until Holy Innocents' Day, when they took her out, she was
never given the habit; but she kept all the observances of
the Rule, just as if she had received it, with the greatest
satisfaction. On Holy Innocents' Day, the officers of the law
came for her, and took her to the house of a nobleman, she
weeping abundantly and asking why they tormented her,
seeing it would avail them nothing. There much persuasion
was brought to bear on her, both by members of Religious
Orders and others; some thinking it was childishness, and
others wishing her to enjoy her worldly position. It would
take me too long to recount the arguments used and the way
in which she extricated herself from them all. She amazed
everyone with the things she said. When at last they saw
it was of no use, they placed her in her mother's house, to be
kept there for some time. Her mother was fairly tired of all
this disquiet, and gave her no help, but rather seemed to be
against her. It may be that this was in order to test her
better: at least, this is what she has since told me, and she is
so saintly that whatever she says is to be believed. But the
child did not understand this. Her confessor, too, was strongly
opposed to her desires ; so that she had no help but from
God, and from a maidservant of her mother's, who comforted
her.

Thus she went on in great trouble and affliction until she
had completed her twelfth year, when she heard that as they
could not now hinder her from taking the veil, they were
talking of taking her to the convent where her sister was,
because it was not so severe. When she heard that, she
determined to carry out her purpose by any possible means.
So one day, when she had gone to mass with her mother, and
her mother had gone into a confessional in the church to make

78 Chapter XI

her confession, the girl asked her nurse to go and request one
of the Fathers to say a mass for her. As soon as she saw her
back turned, she put her clogs up her sleeve, picked up
her skirts, and went off as fast as ever she could go to this
convent, which was a long way off. Her nurse, finding she was
gone, went after her, and when she got near her, she begged a
man to stop her for her. The man afterwards said that he
had found himself unable to stir : and so he let her go. She
ran through the outer gate of the convent and shut it and
began to call out ; and by the time the nurse arrived she was
inside the house; and they gave her the habit immediately.
Thus the good beginning which our Lord had wrought in her
was brought to its completion.

His Majesty speedily began to reward her with spiritual
graces, and she to serve Him with the greatest joy and the
deepest humility and detachment from all things. May He
be blessed for ever Who made her, once so fond of the most
elaborate and richest garments, to take pleasure in the poor
habit of serge ! Not that this could conceal her beauty : for
our Lord had endowed her with natural graces as well as
spiritual; her personal qualities and intelligence being so
attractive as to move everyone to praise God for them. May
it please His Majesty that many may thus respond to His
call!1

1 St Theresa wrote some very interesting letters, published in her
Correspondence, about this nun. The one most worthy of attention is
one to Father Banes, written at Salamanca, on her way to make the
foundation at Segovia in 1574. And, after all, this nun, yielding perhaps
to the insidious suggestions of her relations, quitted the Carmelite habit,
and betook herself to a Franciscan convent at Burgos, where she died, not
without being very sorry for what she had done in her fickleness.

CHAPTER XII

Of the life and death of Beatriz of the Incarnation, a nun whom the
Lord led to this same house. She lived so perfect a life and her
death was such that she ought to be had in remembrance.

A GIRL called Beatriz Onez, some relation to Dona Casilda,
entered this convent as a nun. She came some years earlier.
Her spirit filled everyone with amazement, seeing what great
virtues the Lord was working in her. The nuns and the
Prioress declare that in all her life there they never saw in
her anything which could be considered an imperfection :
nor, whatever might happen, did they ever see her behave but
with a cheerful modesty which indicated clearly the inward
happiness of her soul. A silence without gloom : for, although
she spoke very little, it was so done that it could not be noticed
as a singularity. She never was found to have spoken a word
which could be found fault with : nor was any obstinacy found
in her ; nor did she ever make an excuse, although the Prioress,
to try her, used to blame her for things she had not done, as
is the custom in our houses by way of mortification. She
never complained of anything, nor of any Sister ; nor did she
ever by word or look give offence to anyone, whatever office
she held, nor give anyone occasion to think ill of her : nor was
there ever any fault to accuse her of in chapter, although the
correctors of faults in that house say they used to take notice
of the most trifling things. In all circumstances, her outward
and inward composure were extraordinary. This arose from
her continually having eternity present to her thoughts, and
the end for which God has created us. The praises of God
were ever in her mouth, and an overflowing thankfulness; in
a word, she was continually in prayer.

80 Chapter XII

In the matter of obedience she never failed, but did all
she was told promptly, exactly, and cheerfully. The greatest
charity towards her neighbour: so that she used to say she
would let herself be cut into a thousand pieces for anyone, if
thereby he might not lose his soul and the fruition of her
Brother Jesus Christ — for thus she used to call our Lord.
Her very severe sufferings, from terrible sicknesses and sharp
pains, of which I shall presently speak, she bore with as much
goodwill and satisfaction as if they had been great pleasures
and delights. Our Lord must have given her courage ; for no
otherwise would it have been possible to bear them with such joy.

It happened at Valladolid that certain people, for great
crimes, were taken to be burnt. She must have heard that
they were going to their death not so well prepared as was
fitting "3 and she was so terribly distressed that she went to our
Lord in great sorrow and earnestly besought Him for the salva-
tion of their souls ; and prayed that instead of the punishment
they had deserved, or, that she might be worthy to obtain her
request — for I do not accurately remember her words — she
might suffer all her life all the pains and sufferings she could
bear. That same night she had her first attack of fever ; and
until her death she was never without suffering. The criminals
made a good end: whereby it appears that God heard her
prayer.

Directly after this, an internal abscess formed, so acutely
painful that it took all the courage our Lord had given her to
bear it patiently. Being internal, no remedies they could give
could do any good, until, in the Lord's good pleasure, it broke
and discharged, which gave her some relief. Her appetite for
suffering was not easily satisfied. Thus, on one Holy Cross
Day, while listening to a sermon, the desire waxed so strong
that, when the sermon was over, she went and threw herself

Beatriz Onez 81

on her bed in a passion of weeping; and when they asked
what it was, she begged them to pray that God would send
her severe sufferings, and then she would be satisfied.

To the Prioress she spoke of all the affairs of her soul;
and that was a comfort to her.

In all her sickness she never gave the least trouble in the
world, nor did anything but what the infirmarian wished, even
to the drinking a little water.

It is a very common thing for souls who are given to
prayer to desire sufferings when they are without them : but
it is not many who, when those same sufferings are upon them,
can rejoice in bearing them. Some of the Sisters were there
at a time when she was so worn out that she had not long to
live, and had most acute pains, and an abscess in the throat,
so that she could not swallow ; and she told the Prioress, who
was encouraging her to bear her great pain, that she was
not suffering at all, and that she would not on any account
exchange with any of the Sisters who were in good health.
She was so conscious of the presence of the Lord for Whom
she was suffering, that she dissimulated her sufferings as well
as she could, that no one might perceive how great they were :
so she made very little sign of suffering, except when the
pain forced it out of her.

She thought there was nobody in the world worse than
herself; and thus, in everything that we could judge of, her
humility was deep. She took great delight in speaking of
other people's virtues.

In matters of mortification she was very severe with her-
self. From anything in the nature of recreation she withdrew
herself so quietly that no one who was not on the look out for
it would notice it. She seemed not to live or converse with
creatures, so little did she concern herself about them; for,

T. F. 6

82 Chapter XII

however things might turn out, she went through them so peace-
fully that she was always the same : so much so that a Sister
once told her that she was like the people who make such
a point of their honour that, if they were hungry, they would
rather die of it than have anyone know. For the Sisters
could not believe that she really minded certain things so
little as she seemed to mind them.

All her work and her duties were done with but one end-
not to miss the good of them. Thus she used to say to the
Sisters, "The least thing we do is priceless, if done for the love
of God. We should not so much as move our eyes, Sisters,
but for love of Him and to please Him." She never meddled
with anything which was not her business ; and so she never
noticed anybody's faults but her own. She so disliked being
well spoken of herself that she was careful not to speak of
others in their presence, so as not to give them pain.

She never sought relief by going into the garden or by means
of any created thing ; because, as she used to say, it would be a
sort of discourtesy to distract herself from the pains which our
Lord gave her. So she never asked for anything besides what
was given her, but was content with that. She said too, that
it would really have been a cross to her to receive comfort from
anything but God. It is a fact that, when I questioned the
Sisters of that house, there was not one who had perceived in
her anything but what befitted a soul of high perfection.

When, then, the time came when our Lord was pleased to
take her from this life, her pains increased : and the Sisters
used from time to time to visit her, in order to praise God for
the contentedness with which they saw her endure so many
afflictions together. In particular, the chaplain who was the
confessor of the convent, a great servant of God, was very
anxious to be present at her death; for, having heard her
confessions, he reckoned her a saint. It pleased God to fulfil

Beatriz Onez 83

his desire : for, while she was still in possession of her faculties,
though having received unction, they sent for him to be at
hand that night, if necessary, to absolve her and help her to
die. A little before nine, about a quarter of an hour before
her death, the chaplain and all the Sisters being present, all
the pains left her, and she lifted up her eyes in a profound
peace. An expression of joy, as it were a shining, overspread
her countenance, and she seemed to be beholding some glad
sight, for she smiled twice. So great was the spiritual joy and
bliss experienced by all who were present, including the priest,
that they could only say they felt as if they were in heaven.
And in that same joy, with eyes raised to heaven, she expired.
Her countenance was like an angel's : and so, according to our
faith and according to her life, may we believe that God took
her to rest in reward for her earnest desires to suffer for His sake.
The chaplain declares, and has repeated it to many people,
that at the moment when her body was laid in the tomb he
perceived a strong and very sweet odour arising from it. The
sacristan Sister also declares that of all the candles which
were burnt for her funeral rites and burial not one suffered
any diminution of the wax. All can be believed of the mercy
of God. When I spoke of these things to one of her confessors,
a Jesuit, who had been her confessor and spiritual adviser for
many years, he said it was no wonder, and he was not sur-
prised, because he knew that our Lord held frequent converse
with her. May it please His Majesty, my daughters, that we
may learn to profit by the example of so good a companion,
and by many others which our Lord gives us in these houses !
Perhaps I may say something about the others, in order that
Sisters who are somewhat slack may bestir themselves to imi-
tate them, and that we may all give thanks to our Lord, Who
thus makes His greatness shine forth in a few poor weak women.

6—2

CHAPTER XIII

How and by whom was founded the first House of Barefoot

Carmelite friars, in 1568.

BEFORE I went to that foundation at Valladolid, I had
already agreed, as I have before said, with the Father Fray
Antonio of Jesus, then Prior of the Carmelite Monastery of
St Anne's at Medina, and with Fray Juan of the Cross,
that if a friars' monastery of the primitive Rule were founded,
they should be the first to enter it. As I had no means of
getting a house, I did nothing but commend it to our Lord.
For, as I have said, I was well satisfied with those Fathers;
because in the year after I had spoken about it to Brother
Antonio of Jesus, the Lord had tried him with difficulties and
he had borne them with great perfection: while of Brother
John of the Cross, no trial was needed, because, even while
he was living among the unreformed Fathers of the Cloth1,
he always lived a life of great perfection and strictness.

It pleased our Lord, having given me the chief thing,
brothers to begin with, to provide for the rest. A gentleman
of Avila, Don Rafael, to whom I had never spoken, came to
know — I do not know or remember how — that we desired to
found a monastery of Barefoot friars, and he came to me
to offer to give me a house he had in a little place of perhaps
not twenty inhabitants. He used it for a farmer who col-
lected the rent in kind from that part of his property. I gave
praise to our Lord and thanked him much, although I saw
what sort of a house it must be. He told me that it was on
the way to Medina del Campo ; and as I was going there for

1 The Calced Carmelites were spoken of as Fathers of the Cloth (del
Pano) because their habit and cloak were usually of cloth, instead of serge,
which was worn by the Discalced.

Duruelo 85

the foundation at Valladolid, since it is on the direct route,
I could see it. I said I would: and so I did: for I set out
from Avila in June with one companion and the chaplain
of St Joseph's, Father Julian of Avila, the priest who, as I
have said, helped me in these journeys.

We started early in the morning. As we did not know
the way, we went wrong : and as the place is little known, we
could not get much information about it. So we travelled
that day with great weariness, for the sun was very strong:
when we thought we were close to the place, we found we had
as far again to go. I shall never forget the fatigue and per-
plexity we went through in that journey. So we arrived but
little before nightfall. When we went into the house, it was
in such a condition of extreme dirtiness that we dared not
spend the night there : also there were a great many harvesters
there. It had a fair entrance1, and a room with an alcove
with a garret above, and a little kitchen : this was the whole
of the .edifice which was to serve as our monastery. On think-
ing it over, I thought that the entrance might be made into
a chapel and the attic into a choir for saying Office, for it
would do well for that, and the room to sleep in. My com-
panion, although she was much better than I, and much given
to penance, could not bear to think of my making a monastery
there ; and so she said to me, " Assuredly, Mother, there is
no one, however good, whose spirit could stand this : do not
think of it." The Father who was travelling with me thought
the same as my companion : but when I told him what I
planned, he did not oppose me.

We went to spend the night in the church, because we
were so very tired that we did not want to spend it watching.

1 [The entrance had no floor above it, but went up to the roof, and the
attic had openings or squints into it. The house had only two stories.
Tr.]

86 Chapter XIII

When we got to Medina, I spoke at once to Father Fray
Antonio and told him what had taken place, and said that if he
had the courage to live there for a time, I was certain that God
would soon make things better : it was everything to make a
beginning. That which the Lord has now done seemed to me,
so to say, as present and as certain as I now see it : and indeed
much more than what I have seen up to the present : although
at the time that I write this there are, by God's goodness, ten
monasteries of Barefoot1 friars. I told him that I did not
believe the late Provincial or the present one would give us a
licence (for the foundations had to be with their consent, as I
said at the beginning) if they saw us in a very well-appointed
house — let alone that we had no means of getting one; but
that in that little place and house they would think it did not
matter. He answered — for to him God had given more courage
than to me — that he was ready to live not only there but in
a pigsty. Fray Juan of the Cross was of the same mind.

Now we sought to obtain the leave of those two Fathers
whom I have mentioned; for it was on that condition that
our Father General had given us the licence. I trusted in
our Lord to obtain it: and so I bade Father Fray Antonio
take pains to do all he could to get together something for the
house, while I went with Fray Juan of the Cross to the founda-
tion of Valladolid, which I have narrated: and as we were
there some days with workmen to repair the house, without
enclosure, I had an opportunity of shewing Father Fray Juan
of the Cross all our ways of going on, so that he should carry
away a thorough knowledge of everything, of our mortification
as well as of our sisterliness, and of our Recreation which we
have all together, which is all so quietly done that it serves

1 The first were Duruelo and Mancera, then Pastrana (1569), Alcala
(1570), Baeza (1572), Seville (1573). Afterwards some unreformed
monasteries accepted the reform.

Duruelo 87

but to shew the Sisters' faults and to afford a little refresh-
ment to enable us to endure the rigour of the Rule. Fray
Juan was so good that I, at least, could have learned much
more from him than he from me: but this was not what I did;
I only shewed him the Sisters' way of going on.

God was pleased that Fray Alonso Gonzalez, the Provincial
of our Order, whose leave I had to get, should be at Valla-
dolid: he was an old man, of very good stuff and straight-
forward. When I asked him, I said so much to him of the
account he would have to give to God if he hindered so good
a work, and His Majesty so disposed him to agree, that he
softened greatly towards our projects. When Dona Maria de
Mendoza came with her brother the Bishop of Avila, who has
always favoured and protected us, they succeeded in arranging
it with him and with Father Fray Angel de Salazar, the late
Provincial, from whom I feared all the difficulty. But after-
wards there arose circumstances which necessitated the good
offices of Dona Maria de Mendoza. And these friends, I believe,
helped us much: notwithstanding, even without this timely
help, the Lord, I believe, would have disposed his heart to-
wards us, as He did that of the Father General, far though it
had been from his mind.

Oh, valame Dios ! how many things I have seen in these
foundations which seemed impossible, and how easy it has
been to His Majesty to make the ways plain ! And how am I
covered with confusion that, having seen all that I have seen,
I am not better! Now that I see it written down, I am
amazed, and I desire that our Lord should make everyone
understand how in these foundations what we creatures have
done is nothing. The Lord has ordered it all, working from
such poor beginnings that His Majesty alone could have
raised it to what it is now. May He be blessed for ever !

CHAPTER XIV

Continues the account of the first Foundation of friars: and tells
something of the life which they lead there, and of the good
work which our Lord began in those parts; to the honour and
glory of God.

SINCE I had won over the wills of these two, I felt as if
nothing was now lacking. We arranged that Fray Juan of
the Cross should go to the house and get it ready so that
they might get into it somehow; for I was in a great hurry
for them to begin, because I was much afraid that something
might happen to hinder us: and so he did. Father Fray
Antonio had already collected some of what was necessary.
We helped him as we could, but that was not much. He
came to speak to me at Valladolid, very happy, and told me
what he had got. It was very little. Only with hour-glasses
was he well provided: for he was taking five, to my great
amusement. He said he did not like to go without the means
of keeping the appointed Hours. I do not believe he had got
anything to sleep on.

There was little time spent in furnishing the house be-
cause, however much they might have wished to do, he had
no money. When he had done, Father Fray Antonio resigned
his Priorship and promised to observe the primitive Rule:
for, although they advised him to make trial of it first,
he would not. He went off to his little house with the
greatest content in the world : Fray Juan was already there.

Father Fray Antonio has told me that when he came in
sight of the little place it gave him a great inner joy: it
seemed to him that he had already done with the world, in
leaving all and stationing himself in that solitude. Neither

Duruelo 89

one nor the other of them felt the house uncomfortable ; but
rather they seemed to themselves to be living very pleasantly.

Oh, valaine Dios, how little difference these edifices and
luxuries make to one's mind ! For the love of Him I beseech
you, my Sisters and Fathers, never leave off being very circum-
spect in this matter of large and sumptuous houses : let us keep
before us the example of our true founders, those holy fathers
from whom we are descended : for we know that by that road
of poverty and humility they attained to the fruition of God.
Truly I have seen more ardour and also more inward joy
where bodily conveniences have seemed to be wanting than
later when these had been acquired and a large house. What
good does its size do us when one cell is all that we habitually
use? What can it matter to us that it should be spacious
and well built? Nothing: for we are not to spend our time
gazing at the walls. If we consider that it is not an ever-
lasting habitation, but is only for the short span of this life
at its longest, it will be good enough for us ; seeing that the
less we possess here, the more joy we shall have there in that
eternity, where according to the love with which we have
imitated the life of our good Jesus will our mansions be.
Since we say that these beginnings are meant to reform the
Rule of His mother the Virgin, our Lady and Protectress, let
us not do to her, nor to our holy fathers who have gone before,
so great a wrong as to fail to live after their pattern. And
although, through our weakness, we cannot do so in every-
thing, yet in things which neither make nor mar health, we
must be very careful ; for at the most it is only a little bit of
pleasant toil, as those two Fathers found it: and when we
have once made up our mind to go through it, the difficulty
is over; for all the hardship is only a little at the beginning.

On the first or second Sunday of Advent in the year 1568

90 Chapter XIV

— I do not remember which of these Sundays it was — the first
mass was said in that little porch of Bethlehem — for I think
it was no better. In the following Lent, when I was going to
the foundation of Toledo, I went that way. I arrived one
morning. Father Fray Antonio of Jesus was cleaning out the
doorway of the chapel with the happy face which he always has.
I said to him, "How is this, Father? What has become
of your dignity?" He answered, telling me his great happi-
ness, in these words, "I execrate the time when I possessed it."

As I entered the chapel, I stood amazed to see the spirit
which the Lord had inspired there: and not only I, but two
merchants, friends of mine, who had come with me from
Medina, did nothing but shed tears. There were so many
crosses, so many skulls ! I shall never forget a small wooden
cross there was for holy water, which had fastened to it a
paper image of Christ which seemed to excite more devotion
than if it had been of the finest workmanship. The Office
choir was the garret, half of which was lofty enough for
standing to say the Hours: but they had to stoop a great
deal to enter it and to hear mass. They had made at the
two extreme corners next the chapel two hermitages, where
they could only be prostrate or sitting : these were filled with
hay, because the place was very cold and the roof was close
over their heads ; they had two openings facing the altar ; and
two stones to rest their heads on : and there were their crosses
and skulls. I found that when Matins was finished they did
not go away again before Prime, but remained there in prayer,
so absorbed in it that sometimes when they returned to their
places for Prime their habits were covered with snow, and they
had not noticed it.

They said the Hours with another Father of the unre-
formed Rule, who went with them to live there but did not

Duruelo 91

change his habit because he was very delicate; and with
another young Brother, not in orders, who lived there also.
They used to go to preach at many neighbouring places which
were destitute of any teaching : and that was another reason
why I was pleased that the house should have been founded in
that place ; for they told me that there was no monastery near,
nor any means of maintaining one, which was a great pity.
In so short a time they had gained such great esteem that
it gave me the greatest joy when I heard of it. They used to
go, as I said, to preach a league and a half or two leagues off,
barefoot — for at that time they wore no sandals, although
they were afterwards made to wear them — and in much snow
and frost; and when they had preached and heard confessions,
they returned home to their meal very late. They were so
happy that they minded all this very little. Of food they
had plenty, for the people of the neighbourhood provided
them with more than they needed; and some gentlemen who
lived in those parts and came to them for confession, offered
them better houses and situations.

Among these was one Don Luis of Cinco Villas. This
gentleman had built a chapel for a picture of our Lady,
which was indeed worthy of veneration. His father had
sent it from Flanders by the hand of a merchant to his
grandmother or mother, I forget which. He liked it so much
that he kept it for himself many years ; and then, at the hour
of death, he directed that it should be placed in a great altar
piece, one of the finest things that I have ever seen in my life —
and many other people say the same. Father Fray Antonio
of Jesus, when, at Don Luis' request, he went to the place
and saw the picture, liked it so much— and quite rightly —
that he consented to move the monastery to Mancera (that
was the name of the place), although there was no well-water

92 Chapter XIV

there, nor did there appear any possibility of obtaining it.
Don Luis built them a monastery, a small one, agreeably to
their Rule ; and fitted it up. He did it very nicely.

I cannot refrain from telling how the Lord gave them
water; for it was considered a miracle. One day after
supper, when Father Fray Antonio was in the cloister with
his Brothers, and they were talking about their need of water,
the Prior rose and took up a staff, and carried it in his hands,
and he made the sign of the cross over it, I think ; but I do not
remember for certain whether he made the cross. Anyhow, he
made a sign with the staff and said, "Now dig here": and
when they had dug a very little depth there issued forth a
spring so abundant that it is difficult to get rid of it when the
well has to be cleaned, and it is inexhaustible ; and it is very
good drinking water. They use it for every purpose, and, as I
said, it never fails. Afterwards when they had enclosed a
garden, they tried to obtain water in it, and made a well, and
spent a great deal; but up to the present time they have
found none worth speaking of.

Well, when I saw that little house, in which, only a short
time before, one could not have remained, now full of such a
spirit that, whichever way I looked, I found something to
edify me ; and when I learned what manner of life theirs was,
and their mortification and prayer and the good example they
set (for a gentleman and his wife whom I knew, who lived
near, came to see me there, and could not say enough of their
saintliness and the good which they did in those villages) —
when I learned this, I could not sufficiently thank our Lord,
and I felt within me the greatest rejoicing; because I thought
I saw initiated a beginning which would be to the great good
of our Order and to the service of our Lord. May it please
His Majesty to carry it on as it is now going on, and my

Duruelo 03

anticipation will indeed come true. The merchants who had
gone with me told me that they would not have missed going
for all the world. What a thing virtue is, that such poverty
gave them more pleasure than all the wealth they possessed,
and satisfied them and rejoiced their soul !

The Fathers and I discussed several matters. In parti-
cular, I, being weak and worthless, besought them not to be so
severe in their penance ; for they carried it to extremes. And
I told them that I had spent much earnest desire and prayer
on the work, that the Lord would send me some one to begin
it ; and that now I saw so good a beginning, I feared that the
devil was seeking to kill them before that which I hoped for
was effected. Being faulty and of little faith, I did not suffi-
ciently consider that it was God's work, and therefore His
Majesty would see to carrying it on. The Fathers, as they
had those qualities which were lacking in me, paid little
attention to my advice to give up their exercises. So I
departed in the very greatest joy; although I did not give
God worthy thanks for mercies so signal. May it please His
Majesty that, in His goodness, I may be worthy to do Him
some service for all that I owe Him! Amen. For I well
understood that this was a much greater favour than that
which He had granted me in enabling me to found convents
of nuns.

CHAPTER XV

Of the Foundation of the Monastery of the glorious St Joseph
in the city of Toledo, in 1569.

THERE was in the city of Toledo a merchant, a man much
respected and a servant of God, who chose never to marry,
but lived the life of a very good Catholic. He was a very
truthful and honest man ; and by legitimate trade he increased
his wealth with the intention of using it for some work
which should be pleasing to the Lord. His name was Martin
Ramirez. A mortal sickness seized him. There was at Toledo
a Father of the Company of Jesus, Paul Hernandez, who, while
I was staying there, had heard my confession at the time
when I was arranging for the foundation at Malagon. He
had a great desire that a convent of our nuns should be
founded at Toledo. Hearing of Martin Ramirez' illness, he
went to speak to him, and told him how greatly to the Lord's
service it would be to make this foundation, and that he
could leave to its charge the chapelries and chaplainships
which he desired to found ; and that in it could be celebrated
certain festivals ; and all the rest which he had made up his
mind to leave to one of the town parishes. He was already
so ill that he saw he had not time to arrange for this, so he
left it all in the hands of a brother of his, Alonso Alvarez
Ramirez; and, this done, God took him. He acted wisely;
for this Alonso Alvarez is a very discreet and God-fearing
man, very truthful and liberal and accessible to reason. And
as I have had a great many dealings with him, I can say
this most truthfully as an eyewitness.

When Martin Ramirez died, I was making the foundation
of Valladolid, where Father Paul Hernandez of the Company

Toledo 95

wrote to me, and Alonso Alvarez himself, giving me an ac-
count of what had taken place, and telling me to come quickly,
if I wished to accept that foundation : and so I started soon
after the repairs of the house were completed. I arrived at
Toledo on the eve of Lady Day, and I went to the house of
Dona Luisa1, the foundress of Malagon, which is where 1 had
stayed at other times. I was most joyfully welcomed, because
her affection for me is very great. I took with me two com-
panions, great servants of God, from St Joseph's of Avila.
An apartment was at once given us, as usual, where we lived
enclosed just as in a monastery.

I began at once to talk over the business with Alonso
Alvarez and a son-in-law of his, Diego Ortiz, who, although
a very good man and a theologian, was more wedded to his own
opinion than Alonso Alvarez, and did not yield so quickly to
reason. They began to demand of me a great many conditions
which I did not think suitable to consent to. We kept
going on with the negotiations, and seeking a hired house
to take possession of; and, although they hunted a great
deal, they could never find one that would do. No more
could I prevail with the Governor to give me the licence
-for there was no Archbishop2 at this time — although
the lady with whom I was staying earnestly solicited it, and
also a gentleman who was a Canon of the church, Don Man-
rique, son of the Governor of Castille3. A great servant of
God was he, and is, for he is still alive ; and, some years after

1 De la Cerda. See ch. ix.

2 The Archbishop was the celebrated Dominican, Bartolom^ Carranza :
but his office was in abeyance, because he had been since 1557 in the prison
of the Holy Office at Valladolid. Thence he was sent to Home, where he
died in 1576. So St Theresa says there was no Archbishop in 1569,
meaning that practically there was none.

3 [Adelantado. Tr.]

96 Chapter XV

the foundation of that house, he, although of very weak health,
entered the Company of Jesus, where he is now. He was a
great person in Toledo, because of his great capacity and
worth. For all this I could not succeed in obtaining the
licence; for when they had got the Governor to be a little
propitious, the members of the Town Council1 were not so.
On the other hand, Alonso Alvarez and I could not come to
terms because of his son-in-law, to whom he left too much.
At last we came to disagree altogether.

I did not know what to do : for I had come for no other
purpose but to found ; and I saw that if I went away without,
it would be much noticed. In all these difficulties I minded
not getting the licence more than anything else: because I
believed that, when possession was taken, the Lord would
provide, as He had done in other places. So I determined to
speak to the Governor. I went into a church which was close to
his house, and sent to beg that he would be so good as to speak
to me. It was already more than two months that we had been
trying to persuade him, and things only got worse every day.
When I found myself in his presence, I said that it was an
evil thing that there should be women who desired to live in
such strictness and perfection and enclosure, and that those
who were enduring nothing of the kind, but were living in
luxury, should desire to hinder works so well pleasing to our
Lord. These and many other things I said to him, with great
decision, which was given me by the Lord. It so moved him
that before I parted from him he gave me the licence.

I went away well content : for I felt as if I had got every-

1 The Council was originally formed to deal with political and feudal
cases ; but through the Archbishop's Primacy and his landed property —
he being a member of the Council — it became an ecclesiastical court for
administration and litigation.

Toledo 97

thing, when really I had nothing, for it might have been as
much as three or four ducats that I had in hand. With this
I bought two pictures, for we had no sort of image to put on
the altar, and two straw mattresses and a blanket. Of a house
there was no sign : with Alonso Alvarez I had already broken
off. There was a friend of mine, a merchant, of the same
place, who never had wished to marry, nor cared for anything
but to do good to the prisoners in the gaol and many other
good works. His name was Alonso de Avila. He told me
not to be anxious about a house, for he would seek one for
me. He fell me ill.

Some days before this, a very saintly Franciscan friar,
Brother Martin of the Cross, had come to Toledo. He stayed
some days, and when he went away, he sent me a young
man1, called Andrada, whose confessions he heard, begging
him to do whatever I asked him. The young man was not
rich, but very poor. One day when I was in church at mass,
he came and spoke to me, and told me what that excellent
man had told him, and assured me that anything whatever
that he could do for me, he would, though he had nothing
but himself to help us with. I thanked him; and it amused
me much, and my companions more, to see what sort of as-
sistance the holy man had sent us; for his appearance was
not that of a person for Barefoot nuns to associate with.

Well, when I found myself with the licence and without
anyone to help me, I did not know what to do, nor whom
I could ask to seek a hired house for me. I remembered the
young man whom Brother Martin of the Cross had sent me,
and I spoke of him to my companions. They laughed at me
a great deal, saying that I must do no such thing, that it
would only serve to make our affairs public. I would not

1 [A student. Tr.]
T. F. 7

98 Chapter XV

listen to them; for I trusted that his being sent by that
servant of God was not without significance, and that he
was meant to do something. So I sent to fetch him, and
told him, with all the secrecy that I could enjoin on him,
what had taken place, and that therefore I begged him to
seek a house for me, and I would give the name of a surety
for the rent. The surety was that good Alonso de Avila, who,
as I said, had fallen ill. He thought it an easy thing, and he
said he would seek one.

Early next morning, when I was at mass in the Jesuits'
church, he came to speak to me and said that he had already
got a house and had brought me the keys, that the house
was near at hand and that we should go to see it. So we
did: and it was such a good one that we lived in it about
a year. Often when I think over this foundation, the ways of
God amaze me. For about three months — at least more than
two, for I do not remember exactly — such wealthy people had
gone up and down Toledo hunting for a house, and had no
more found one than if there had been no houses in the town :
and all at once came this young man, who was not rich but
very poor, and it pleased the Lord that he should find it at
once. And it pleased Him that when it might have been
founded without difficulty if Alonso Alvarez and I had agreed,
this was not the case, but very far from it, in order that
the foundation might be made in poverty and difficulty.

Well, as we were satisfied with the house, I at once gave
orders to take possession before anything was done in it, so
that there might be no hindrance ; and in a very short time
the said Andrada came to tell me that that day the house
would be cleared out so that we could take our furniture
there. I told him that there was but little to be done, since
we possessed nothing but two mattresses and a blanket. He

Toledo 99

must have been astonished. My companions were vexed at
my telling him, and said, How could I have done such a
thing ! for he would not care to help us, when he saw how poor
we were. I paid no attention to this : nor did he think any-
thing of it ; for He who gave him that good will must needs
lead him on until he had finished his work. And indeed in
all that he did in getting the house in order and bringing in
workmen, I do not think we were a bit more earnest than he
was.

We borrowed what was necessary for saying mass ; and we
went with a workman 1 at nightfall with a little bell for taking
possession, of the sort which they ring for the elevation, for
we had no other ; and we spent the whole night — I in great
apprehension — getting ready: and we found nowhere to
make the chapel but in a room to which the entrance was
through another adjoining cottage occupied by some women,
which the lady who owned it had let to us also.

We had not dared to say anything to the women, lest they
should tell of us: and when we had everything ready just
before dawn, we began to open the door, which was blocked
up and opened into a tiny court. When the women, who
were in bed, heard the knocks they arose in terror. We did
our best to soothe them, but it was almost time for mass.
Although they were rude, they did us no harm; and when
they saw what it was for, the Lord pacified them. After-
wards I saw how badly we had done: for at the time, with
the preoccupation which God sends in order that the work
may be done, one does not think of what may go wrong.

Well, the trouble came when the lady to whom the house
belonged heard that a chapel had been made in it; for she
was the wife of a country gentleman. She made a great to-do.

1 A mason.

7—2

100 Chapter XV

It pleased the Lord that she was pacified on bethinking
herself that, if she did not annoy us, she might sell us the
house advantageously. Then, when the members of the
Council heard that the monastery was established for which
they had never been willing to grant a licence, they were
furious, and they went to the house of a church dignitary, to
whom I had imparted my plans in confidence, telling him
what they meant to do to us. It was because the Governor,
after he had given me the licence, had slipped off on a journey
and was not in the town, that they betook themselves to this
gentleman, indignant at such audacity as that an insignificant
woman should have founded a convent there against their will.
He made as though he knew nothing about it, and appeased
them as well as he could, saying that I had done the same in
other places, and surely in this case not without sufficient
papers.

They sent us — I forget how many days after — an in-
junction forbidding mass to be said until we had shewn them
the authorization by which we had founded. I answered
them very mildly that I would do what they bid me, although
I was not obliged to obey in this matter : and I begged Don
Pedro Manrique, the gentleman of whom I have spoken, to go
and speak to them and shew them the papers. He smoothed
them down1, the foundation being already made: for if not,
we should have had trouble.

We went on some days with the mattresses and the
blanket, without more to cover us, and one day we had not
even a bit of wood enough to broil a sardine, when the Lord
moved some one, I know not whom, to put in chapel for us
a little faggot, with which we did better. At night we

1 He shewed them, that is, that it would not look well to forbid it when
it was already done.

Toledo 101

suffered a little from cold, for it was cold: however, we
covered ourselves with the blanket and with the serge cloaks
which we wear over our hahit, which have often been useful to
us. It will be thought impossible that, being in the house
of a lady who cared so much for me, we should have begun
in such poverty. I do not know how it was, except that it
pleased God that we should find out the good of that virtue.
I did not ask her for anything, because I do not like giving
trouble; and she perhaps did not think of it — for I owe her
more than what she might have given us then.

It was a very good thing for us : because the interior
consolation and happiness which we experienced was so great
that it often makes me call to mind what the Lord keeps
locked up in virtues. As it were a kind of sweet contem-
plation was caused by that want we were in: although it
lasted but a short time ; for very soon Alonso Alvarez
himself and others provided us with what we wanted : more,
indeed ; for I felt so sad that it seemed just as if I had found
many jewels of gold, and they had taken them from me and
left me poor, so distressed was I that our poverty was come to
an end. So were my companions : for, seeing them look sad,
I asked what was the matter, and they said, "What is the
matter, Mother ? That we seem to be no longer poor."

From that time forward there grew within me the desire
to be very poor, and there remained with me a sovereign
contempt for worldly wealth : since the lack of it increases
our interior wealth, which certainly brings with it' a very
different sufficiency and peace.

At the time when I was negotiating with Alonso Alvarez
about the foundation, there were many people who disap-
proved of it and told me so, because the Alvarez family were
not noble or gentle; although, as I have said, they were

102 Chapter XV

thoroughly good people of their estate, and in so consider-
able a town as Toledo I should not lack what was wanted.
I did not pay much regard to what they said, because, glory
be to God, I have always esteemed virtue above lineage.
But there had been so much said about it to the Governor
that he only gave me the licence on condition that I should
found here as I had done in other places l.

I did not know what to do, because when the convent
was founded, the Alvarez family began again to treat of their
business ; but as it was already founded, I took advantage of
this to give them the principal chapel, but said they should
have no voice in what concerned the convent; which is the
arrangement to this day.

It was a difficult matter to settle : for there was already
a great personage who desired to have the principal chapel,
and there were many different opinions about it. Our Lord
was pleased to give me light on this question, and thus one
day He said to me, Before the judgement seat of God of how
little account will be those lineages and dignities! and He
blamed me severely for having given ear to those who had spoken
of this : for it was not a matter for such as already held the
world in contempt. With these and many other considera-
tions I made myself heartily ashamed, and I determined to
arrange to give them the chapel as I had begun to do. And
I have never repented it ; for we have seen clearly what diffi-
culty we should otherwise have experienced in buying a house;
for with their help we bought the one where the nuns now
live, which is one of the best houses in Toledo, and cost
12,000 ducats. And as so many masses and festivals are
celebrated there, it is a joy to the nuns and brings joy also

1 [In other places the founders were of gentle birth . Tr.]

Toledo 103

to the people of the town. If I had given weight to the vain
opinions of the world, it would have been impossible, so far as
we can see, to have been housed so advantageously, and
we should have done a wrong to him who with such good
will did us this charity1.

CHAPTER XVI

In which, to the honour and glory of God, are narrated some
things which took place in the Convent of St Joseph at Toledo.

IT seems a good thing to narrate some instances of the
practice of certain nuns in our Lord's service, so that those
who come after may endeavour always to imitate these good
beginnings.

Before the house was bought, there came in a nun, Anne of
the Mother of God, who was about forty, and had spent all
her life in the service of His Majesty. And although in her
house and way of living there was no lack of comfort, for she

1 The house to which they removed was in the quarter of St Nicholas,
opposite the Mint. They went there in 1570. Alonzo Earairez and his
son-in-law gave 12,000 escudos for it from what Martin Ramirez had left.
Certain chapelries and obligations to keep such and such festivals were
made a condition of the foundation, until the visit of the Father General
Eossi. These obligations brought on the nuns so many annoyances that
they had to leave that chapel, and in 1594 they removed to the house of
Alonso Franco, close to the Misericordia, in the plaza of Saiicho Minaya.
Neither did they succeed in settling there, the neighbourhood being very
low and noisy. Finally, in 1607, St Theresa's niece, Beatrix of Jesus,
being Prioress, bought a house in the parish of St Leocadia, close to the
Cambron Gate, and there the convent has been ever since. The first
chapel was kept under the name of St Joseph's Oratory or Martin
Eamirez' Chapelries.

104 Chapter XVI

was wealthy and lived alone, yet she chose rather the
poverty and obedience of our Order, and so came to speak to
me. She was far from strong : but when I saw a soul so good
and so resolute I thought it a good beginning for a new foun-
dation; and so I admitted her. It pleased God to give her
much better health amidst her austerities and obedience than
she had when she was in liberty and comfort.

What edified me, so that I mention her here, was that
before the time for her profession, she made a deed of gift of
all that she possessed — and she was very rich — to this mon-
astery, as an act of almsgiving. I did not like her doing this,
and was not willing to consent, telling her that perhaps either
she might repent of it, or we might not be willing to let her
be professed, so that it was a bad thing to do ; although, if she
should go away, we should not let her go without taking back
what she had given us. I purposely made the worst of it:
first, that it might not prove an occasion for some tempta-
tion ; and next, to prove her spirit the better. She answered
that, if this did happen, she would beg her bread for the love
of God : and I could never get anything more out of her than
that. She lived in great happiness and with much better
health.

The nuns in this convent practised obedience and morti-
fication to such a degree that, at one time when I was staying
there, the Superior had to be very careful of her words,
for even if she spoke without reflection the nuns would
carry it out at once. Once they were looking at a pond
there was in the garden, and the Superior said, "Now, sup-
pose I told her (a Sister who was standing by) to throw herself
in!" No sooner said than the nun was in, and got so wet
that she had to change her clothes. I was there on another
occasion, when the nuns were going to confession, and the one

Toledo 105

whose turn came next went, while she was waiting, to speak
to the Superior1. The Superior said, Why, how was this?
was this a good method of recollection1? She should put her
head into the well, and there think over her sins. The Sister
understood that she was to throw herself into the well, and
went off in such a hurry to do it that if they had not gone
after her quickly she would have done it, thinking to do to
God the greatest service in the world.

Other such things could be told, and instances of great
mortification : so much so that it became necessary for
certain learned men to explain to them the limits of obedi-
ence, and put restraints on them : for they were doing some
out of the way things which, but for their good intention,
would have been demerits rather than merits. This has
occurred to me to say in this place ; but it is not only in this
convent, but in all, that such things are done that I could
wish I myself had nothing to do with the nuns, that I might
tell of them to the honour of our Lord in His handmaids.

While I was there, one of the Sisters was taken with
mortal sickness. When she had received the Sacraments
and Extreme Unction had been administered, her joy and
peace were so great that we could speak to her almost as if
she were in the next world, begging her to commend us in
heaven to God and to the Saints to whom we had a devotion.
A little before her death I went in to stay with her. I had
been praying, to our Lord before the Blessed Sacrament to
grant her a good death. When I went in, I saw His Majesty
at her pillow, in the middle of the bed's head. He was hold-
ing His arms a little open, as though protecting her ; and He
said to me that I might be quite certain He would thus

1 St Theresa wrote at first to speak to me, then scratched it out and
wrote as in the text.

106 Chapter XVI

protect all the nuns who died in these convents, and that
they need have no fear of temptations in the hour of death.
This made me very recollected and comforted. After a little
time I went and spoke to her, and she said, "Oh, Mother,
what great things I have to see!" Thus she died, like an
angel. And in some nuns who since then have died, I have
observed a quietude and repose as if they were in a trance
or in the prayer of quiet, shewing no sign of any temptation.
So I trust that in the goodness of God He will give us this
grace through the merits of His Son and of His glorious
mother, whose hahit we wear. Therefore, my daughters,
let us strive to be true Carmelites, for our day's journey
will soon be at an end : and if we realised the misery which
many suffer at that hour, and the wiles and deceits with
which the devil tempts them, we should highly esteem this
gracious promise. -

One thing which comes into my mind I should like to tell
you, because I knew the person concerned, who was in some
way akin to kinsmen of mine. He was a great gambler, and
he had a certain amount of learning, which the devil made use
of to deceive him, beginning to make him believe that a death-
bed repentance availed nothing. He held this so stoutly that
in no wise could they prevail on him to make his confession :
nothing sufficed. Yet the poor fellow was extremely repentant
and sorry for his sinful life ; but he said, what was the use
of confessing when he knew that he was damned? His con-
fessor, a learned Dominican, did nothing but argue with him,
but to no purpose, the devil taught him such subtle answers.
This went on some days, and the confessor did not know what
to do : but he and others must have earnestly prayed to the
Lord for him : for he found mercy from Him. When the
disease, which was a pain in the side, became very severe, the

Pastrana 107

confessor came once more, and he must have thought out
more arguments to ply him with : but it would have availed
little if the Lord had not had pity on him and softened his
heart. When the confessor began to talk and reason with
him, he sat up in bed as if he had not been ill, and said, " To
make short, do you say that my confession may avail me?
Well, then, I will make it." And he sent for a clerk or notary
— I do not remember which — and made a solemn oath to gamble
no more and to amend his life : of this they were to be wit-
nesses. And he made a very good confession, and received
the Sacraments with such devotion that, so far as we can
judge, according to our faith, he was saved. May it please
our Lord, my Sisters, that we may live our life as true
daughters of the Virgin, and keep our Rule, that our Lord
may give us this grace which He has promised us. Amen.

CHAPTER XVII

Of the Foundation of the two Monasteries at Pastrana, the monks
and the nuns'. This was in 1569.

WELL, as soon as the house at Toledo was founded, I had
spent a fortnight up to Whitsun Eve, furnishing the chapel,
and putting up gratings and other things, and there had been
a great deal to do — for, as I said, we lived for about a year in
that house — and I was fatigued with going about with the
workmen ; and at last, all was finished. That morning, when
we sat down to breakfast in the refectory, it was such a great
comfort to see that I had nothing more to do and that at that
Whitsuntide I could for a space rejoice with our Lord, that I
could hardly eat, my soul felt so happy.

108 Chapter XVII

I did not deserve this happiness ; for while I was enjoying
it, they came to say that a servant of the Princess of Eboli1,
Ruy Gomez de Silva's wife, was there. I went to him : and it
was to say that she was sending for me ; for she and I for some
time past had been talking about founding a convent at Pas-
trana. I did not think it would have been so soon. I was sorry :
for it was very risky to leave a convent founded so recently and
against opposition ; and so I determined at once not to go, and
told him so. He said that that could not be suffered ; because
the Princess was there2 already, and had come for no other
purpose : it would be putting a slight on her. For all this, it
did not enter my head to go ; and so I told him to go to break-
fast, and I would write to the Princess, and he might go.
He was a very just man, and although it did not please him,
yet he accepted it, when I had given him my reasons.

The nuns who had just come to live in the convent could not
see that it was in any way possible to leave the house so soon.
I went before the Blessed Sacrament to ask of the Lord that
I might so write as not to give offence ; for that would have
been a very bad thing for us, because the friars were just
beginning. And on all accounts it was a great thing to keep
Ruy Gomez' favour, because he had so much influence with
the king and with everyone. I do not remember whether
I thought of this ; but I know that I was very anxious not to
displease the Princess. While I was praying, it was said to
me from our Lord, That I must not fail to go, that my going
would effect more than that foundation, and that I must take
with me the Rule and Constitutions.

When I heard this, although I saw strong reasons for not
going, I dared not do otherwise than as I was used in similar

1 Dona Ana de Mendoza. 2 [At Pastrana. Tr.]

Pastrana 109

matters; that is, to be guided by the advice of the confessor.
So I sent for him, without telling him what I had heard in
prayer : for I am always better satisfied not to do this, but to
beseech the Lord to give them light according to what they
can know of their own knowledge; and His Majesty, when
He desires a thing to be done, puts it into their heart. This
has often happened to me : and so it was now ; for taking all
into consideration, he thought I had better go, and so I deter-
mined to go. I left Toledo on the second day of Whitsuntide.
The way was through Madrid: and my companions and I
lodged at a Franciscan convent with the lady who built it
and lived in it, Dona Leonor Mascarenas, a great servant of
our Lord, who had been the King's governess. I had lodged
there before, at other times when there had been occasion to
pass that way, and she had always shewn me much kindness.

This lady told me that she was glad I had come at that
time, because there was a hermit there who greatly desired to
know me, and she thought that the life which he and his
companions lived was very much the same as what our Rule
prescribed. As I had only two friars, it came into my mind
that it would be a great thing if he possibly might be one ; so
I begged her to arrange an interview. He was living in an
apartment which she had given him, with another young
Brother, Juan de la Miseria, a great servant of God, but very
simple in worldly matters. Well, having opened communi-
cations, he came to tell me that he was intending to go to
Rome.

And before I proceed further, I desire to narrate what
I know of this Father, Mariano de San Benito. He was
an Italian physician and was of great skill and ability.
Being in the service of the Queen of Poland, steward of all
her household, he never was inclined to marry, but held a

110 Chapter XVII

Commandery of St John1. Our Lord called him to leave all
for the better saving of his soul. Then he had to go through
troubles ; for he was accused of being concerned in a murder,
and was kept two years in prison. He sought the assistance
of no lawyer, nor of anyone to undertake his defence, but only
God and His justice. They got witnesses who said that he
had sent for them to murder the man. It happened just as
with Holy Susanna's old men, that when they were asked
separately where he was at the time, one said he was sitting
on a couch, and the other said he was at a window. At last
they came to confess how they had got it up : and he assured
me that it had cost him a great deal of money to save them
from punishment; and that the very man who had planned
the attack on him had fallen into his hands, for he had certain
information laid against him, and that in the proceedings he
had done all he could not to harm him.

These and other virtues — for he is a pure and chaste
man, shy of having dealings with women — must have won for
him the light which our Lord gave him on the character of
the world, that he might be led to leave it. So he began to
consider which Order he would enter, and, as he told me, when
he thought over first one and then another with a view to his
own needs, in every one he found some drawback. He heard
that near Seville there were some hermits living together in
a stretch of waste ground called the Tardon, with a very
saintly man, Father Mateo2, for their Superior. Each lived

1 [Of Jerusalem. Tr.]

2 The Venerable father Mateo de la Fuente, the restorer of the Order
of St Basil in Spain. He was born about 1524 at Alminuete, near Toledo,
and studied at Salamanca. He began living as a hermit near Cordova,
but, finding himself to be gaining admiration, withdrew into the wilds of
the Sierra Morena. At the command of his director, Juan de Avila, he
took others with him, and they inhabited a waste place full of thistles

Pastrana 111

apart in his own cell without saying the Divine Office, but
they had an oratory where they met for mass. They neither
had any endowment nor asked or received alms, but lived by
the work of their hands, and each ate alone, very poorly.
When I heard of it, it seemed to me the very picture of our
holy founders. He went on eight years in this manner of life.

When the Holy Council of Trent took place, and it was
decreed that all hermits were to join some Order, he was
minded to go to Rome to request that these might be left
as they were, and this was his intention when I spoke to him.
Then when he told me his manner of life, I shewed him our
primitive Rule, and told him that without putting himself to
so much trouble he might keep all his, since it was the same
as ours; especially in the matter of living by the work of his
hands, which was what he cared much for, telling me that the
world was lost through idleness, and that it was their idleness
which made it think so little of monks. As I was of the same
mind, we agreed at once, and indeed altogether; for when I
had given him my reasons for believing that he could please
God greatly in our habit, he said he would think over it that
night. I saw that he had already almost made up his mind,
and I concluded that this was what I had heard in prayer,
That I was going for more than to found a convent of nuns.
It gave me the greatest satisfaction : for I felt sure it would
be greatly to our Lord's service if he entered the Order.

His Majesty, desiring this, so moved him during that night,
that next day he sent for me, quite determined, although sur-
prised to find his intention so quickly changed, and that by a

[cardos], thence called Cardon, afterwards Tardon. They cultivated the
ground, on the principle " He that will not work, neither let him eat."
When St Pius V ordered all hermits to adopt the Kule of some Order, they
took that of St Basil.

112 Chapter XVII

woman (as even now he sometimes tells me) ; as if this were
the cause, arid not the Lord, Who has power to change the
heart. Great are His judgements. For he had been so many
years without knowing what estate to take upon himself (for
the life which he was then living was no estate, for they took
no vows and were under no obligation but to live there in retire-
ment). And so suddenly did God move him and gave him to
understand how much he would serve Him in our estate, and
that His Majesty had need of him to carry forward what was
begun. For he has helped us much, and up to the present it
has cost him many labours, and will cost him more before he
has done with it, so far as one can judge from the present
hostility to the primitive Rule. For through his ability, skill,
and good life, he has great influence with many people who
help and protect us.

Then he told me how Ruy Gomez had given him at
Pastrana — the very place to which I was going — a good
hermitage and site to make a settlement of hermits, and
that he would like to make it one of our Order, and take
the habit. I thanked him and gave great thanks to our
Lord, because with the two licences which our most reverend
Father General had given me for two monasteries, there was
only one made. And from thence I sent a messenger to the
aforesaid two Fathers, the Provincial and the late Provincial,
entreating them to give me a licence, since the foundation
could not be made without their consent: and I wrote to
Don Alvaro de Mendoza, the Bishop of Avila, who was our
great friend, begging him to obtain it of them. It pleased
God that they thought it well. They must have deemed
that in so remote a place it could not do them much harm.
Father Mariano gave me his word to go there as soon as the
licence came : with this I departed well content.

Pastrana 113

I found there the Princess and Prince Ruy Gomez, who
gave me a warm welcome. They allotted to us a separate
apartment, in which we stayed longer than I had expected;
for the house was so small that the Princess had ordered
a good deal of it to be pulled down and built up again : not
the walls, however, but a good many things.

There I remained three months, going through consider-
able difficulties because the Princess asked of me several
things which our Rule does not admit of; so I determined
to come away without founding rather than do it. But
Prince Ruy Gomez with his good sense — for he possesses
much, and is open to reason — prevailed on his wife to give
way, and I yielded on some points : for I was more eager to
have the monastery of the monks than that of the nuns, for I
knew how important -it was, as has since been seen. During
this time, the aforesaid hermits, Mariano and his companion,
arrived; and, the licence having come, the Prince and
Princess consented that the hermitage which they had given
should be established for hermits of the Barefoot friars.
I sent for Father Fray Antonio of Jesus, who was the first
there was at Mancera, to begin the foundation of this mon-
astery. I prepared them habits and cloaks and did all that
I could that they might be able to take the habit without
delay. During that time1 I had sent to the convent of
Medina del Campo for more nuns, for I had not taken with
me more than two. At Medina there was a Father already
in years, for although he was not very old, he was not young,
but he was a very good preacher. His name was Brother
Baltasar of Jesus. When he heard that this monastery was
to be founded, he came with the nuns with the intention of
becoming a Barefoot friar himself; and so he did when he came.

1 [Before Brother Antonio arrived. Tr.]
T. F 8

114 Chapter XVII

When he told me his intention, I praised God. He gave
the habit to Father Mariano and his companion, both of
them as lay Brothers: for neither would Father Mariano
hear of being a priest, but wanted to enter the Order to
be least of all, nor could I persuade him. Afterwards, at
the command of our most reverend Father General, he was
ordained priest.

Well, when both monasteries were founded, and Father
Fray Antonio of Jesus had arrived, novices began to come in to
the monks' house (of what sort, some of them, will be told
hereafter), and to serve the Lord in such reality as, if it please
God, will be written by one who knows how to tell it better
than I ; for about these matters I know very little. As for the
nuns, their convent was in great favour with the Prince and
Princess, and the Princess was assiduous in taking care of
them and shewing them kindness, until Prince Ruy Gomez
died. Then the devil — or it may have been that the Lord
permitted it, His Majesty knows why — in a sudden passion of
grief at his death, the Princess entered the convent as a nun1.
In the grief which she was in, the rules of enclosure, to which
she was not used, cannot have been much to her taste : and
in consequence of the Holy Council's decrees, the Prioress2
could not give her the freedom she desired. The Princess
came to be so displeased with her and with them all, that

1 This violent fit of grief and devotion blazed up and cooled down in
three days. It pleased Providence that all communications between
Theresa and the Princess should be broken off. When Mother Isabel de
Santo Domingo heard that the Princess was turning nun, she exclaimed,
* ' The Princess a nun ! It is all over with the convent. " And so it was.

2 St Theresa, writing to Bafiez, says "The nuns of Pastrana, although
the Princess has now returned to her own house, are like prisoners. The
Prior of Atocha, who has been there, did not venture to see them. The
friars too are in evil case. I do not see why such vassalage should be
endured."

Pastrana 115

even after she had taken off the habit and was in her own
house, they were an offence to her; and the poor Sisters
lived in such uneasiness that I tried in every way I could,
with entreaties to the Superiors, that they would move the
convent from Pastrana and establish one in Segovia, as will
presently be narrated. Thither they went, leaving behind
them whatever the Princess had given them1, and taking with
them some nuns whom she had ordered them to receive with-
out dowry. The beds and trifling articles which those same
nuns had brought in, they took with them. They left the
people of the place very sorry for their departure.

It gave me the greatest satisfaction in the world to see
them in peace : for I knew perfectly well that it was not at all
their fault that the Princess was offended, but that when she
was wearing the habit they treated her just as before she took
it. The occasion was only what 1 said above ; and the Prin-
cess's distress and that of a servant whom she took with her
was, so far as is known, to blame for it all. To make short of
it, the Lord Who permitted it must have seen that this
convent was out of place there, for His judgements are deep
and contrary to our understanding. I should not have ven-
tured there on my own judgement alone without that of
learned and saintly people.

1 Before starting for Segovia the nuns gave into the hands of the
mayor of Pastrana an inventory of everything the Princess had given
them.

8—2

CHAPTER XVIII

Of the Foundation of St Joseph's at Salamanca, in 1570. Weighty

counsels for Prioresses.

WHEN those two foundations were accomplished, I returned
to the city of Toledo, where I remained some months, until
the aforementioned house was bought and all could be
left in order. While I was attending to this, a Rector of the
Company of Jesus wrote to me from Salamanca telling me,
and giving his reasons, that it would be a good thing to
have, a convent of our nuns there. Although the great
poverty of the place1 had kept me from founding a monastery
in poverty there, yet I considered that so is Avila poor, and
yet we had never wanted there, nor do I believe that God will
allow His sevan ts to want. And our needs being so modest,
with the fewness of the nuns, and their helping to support
themselves by the labours of their hands, I determined to
make the foundation: and I betook myself from Toledo to
Avila, and thence I sought to obtain the licence from the
Bishop of Salamanca2. When the Father Rector told him

1 This remark of Theresa's is very striking. The bull of Pope
Alexander IV, authorizing the university, gives a very different account.
But the multitude of convents, colleges, hospitals, parochial foundations^
chapelries, and entailed charges had left hardly a yard of land in private
hands. Agriculture and trades had disappeared, people got their living by
teaching, and morals were corrupted. St Theresa, being a daughter of
Avila, hardly 20 leagues from Salamanca, could not have been ignorant of
the difficulties and straits which such and such convents were beginning
to experience ; since, though much was given in alms, it came to little for
each. For the rest, the city and country are by no means poor, but
among the richest in Spain.

2 The Bishop was Don Pedro Gonzalez de Mendoza, son of the Duke

Salamanca 117

about our Order, and that the foundation would be to God's
service, he behaved so well as to give it at once.

It seemed to me that, having the Ordinary's licence, I had
the convent founded, so easy did it appear. So I sought at
once to rent a house, and a lady whom I knew let me have
one. There were difficulties, because it was not the time for
hiring houses, and some students were occupying it : but she
got them to agree to give it up as soon as whoever was to
come into it arrived there. They did not know what it was
to be taken for: for I took the greatest care that nothing
should be known until we had taken possession, because I
know by experience what the devil does to hinder one of
these convents. And although in this instance God did not
permit him to hinder it at the beginning, because it pleased
Him that the house should be founded, yet the troubles and
opposition which we have since gone through have been so
great that even now they are not altogether overcome, al-
though at the time I am writing the house has been founded
some years. So I believe God is greatly pleased with it, since
the devil cannot bear it.

Well, having the licence, and being sure of the house, and
trusting in God's mercy — for there was no one there to help
me in any way, and much to be done in preparing the house
-I started for Salamanca, taking with me only one companion,
in order to go with greater secrecy: because I found it was
better not to bring the Sisters until possession was taken; for
I had learned a lesson from what had befallen me at Medina
del Campo, having found myself in great difficulties there.

del Infantado. He was appointed by Philip II, and consecrated in 1560.
He took part in the Council of Trent. He was Bishop of Salamanca 14
years. Three other convents besides St Theresa's were founded there in
his time.

118 Chapter XVIII

Because, if there should be any obstacles, nobody but myself
would have to go through the difficulty, with no more than
one nun, without whom I could not go. We arrived on the
Eve of All Saints, having travelled a good piece of the way
on the preceding night in bitter cold, and having slept at a
village, I being very unwell.

I do not set down in these foundations the great hardships
of the journeys, with cold, with heat of the sun, with snow-
for it happened once to us to have it snow the whole day long
— sometimes with losing our way, sometimes with great sick-
nesses and fevers. For, glory be to God, it is only my usual lot
to be in poor health ; but I saw clearly that our Lord used to
give me strength. Because it has sometimes happened to me,
when a foundation was on hand, to find myself in such sick-
nesses and pains that I was greatly distressed, for even in my
cell I seemed not to be fit for anything but bed. And I
would turn me to our Lord, complaining to His Majesty and
saying, How could He desire me to do what I was not able
to do? And then His Majesty gave strength to do it, al-
though with difficulty; and with the zeal with which He filled
me, and the anxiety, I seemed to forget myself.

So far as I remember, I never refrained from founding for
fear of the trouble, although I had a great dislike to the jour-
neys, especially the long ones ; but when I had once set out, I
thought little of them, seeing in Whose service they were
undertaken, and considering that in that house the Lord
would be praised, and the Blessed Sacrament would be there.
To see one church more is a peculiar joy to me, when I call
to mind the many which the Lutherans are doing away with.
I do not know how any trouble, however great, can be feared,
in consideration of so great a benefit to Christendom : for al-
though many of us do not recognize Jesus Christ, very God and

Counsels to Prioresses 119

very Man, to be, as He is, in the Blessed Sacrament in many
places; to us who do so, it must be a great joy. Certainly it
often is so to me in chapel, when I see souls so pure as these
engaged in praising God : for their purity cannot fail to be
perceived in many ways, such as their obedience, and the
happiness which it gives them to be in such strict enclosure
and solitude, and their rejoicing when some opportunity of
mortification presents itself. When the Lord gives the most
grace to the Prioresses to practise them in this, I see the
greatest happiness; and it is the case that the Prioresses
sooner weary of giving them mortifications than they of
obeying, for they never can have enough of it.

Although it is not connected with the story of the foundation
of which I have begun to speak, some considerations on this
subject of mortification present themselves to me, and it may
be, my daughters, that they will be useful to the Prioresses ;
so, in order not to forget it, I will put them down here. For
as there are different talents and virtues in the Superiors, so
they seek to guide their nuns by these different ways. The
one who is very ascetic will think anything which she com-
mands in order to bend the will an easy thing, as it would be
to herself, and yet perhaps it may do the Sisters a great deal
of harm. This we must bear well in mind, that what we
ourselves should feel harsh, we must not lay upon others.
Discretion is a great matter in ruling, and in our Houses it
is very needful; I may say, more so than in others, because
the Sisters have to give a stricter account to the Prioress,
both as regards internal and external matters.

Other Prioresses who are very spiritually minded would
like to have nothing but praying. Indeed, the Lord leads
souls by different ways. But the Prioresses must remember
that they are not set there to choose the way according to their

120 Chapter XVIII

own taste, but to guide the nuns by the way of their Rule
and Constitution, although they themselves may have to do
violence to themselves, and would rather pursue another course.

I was once in one of these Houses with a Prioress who
was very ascetic and guided all the nuns in that way. On
one occasion the whole convent had to take the discipline
during the seven penitential Psalms with prayers, and other
things of the same sort. So does it befall them, if the Prioress
is engrossed in prayer, although it is not the time of prayer,
but after Matins, that then she keeps the whole convent, when
it would be much better for them to go to bed again. If, as
I say, she thinks much of mortifications, everything has to be
kept up to the mark; and these little sheep of the Virgin are
silent like so many little lambs, and certainly it rouses in me
great emotion and shame, and is sometimes a great trial : for
the Sisters do not notice it, because they are occupied entirely
with God ; but I fear for their health, and I would have them
only to fulfil the Rule, which is plenty for them to accom-
plish ; and that anything beyond this should be mildly done.

This matter of mortifications is specially important, and, for
the love of our Lord, let the Prioresses look to it : for in these
Houses discretion is a very important thing, and the consider-
ation of each one's ability; and if the Prioresses do not walk
very carefully in these matters, instead of doing the Sisters good,
they will do them great harm and bring them into disquiet.
They have to remember that this matter of mortifications
is not of obligation : this is the first thing they have to con-
sider ; and although it is very necessary if the soul is to gain
liberty and high perfection, yet this is not accomplished in
a short time; but they ought to keep helping each one little
by little, according to the measure of understanding and
spirituality which God gives to each.

Counsels to Prioresses 121

Probably they may think that understanding is not neces-
sary for this. They are mistaken; for there are some who
have much ado first to come to the understanding of per-
fection and also of the spirit of our Rule; and afterwards
perhaps these will become the most saintly : because at first
they did not know when it was right to exculpate themselves,
and when not, and other small points which, when they under-
stand them, they will perhaps carry out with ease. But if
they are not able to understand them, they will not even see
that these things belong to their perfection; which is worse.
There is in one of these Houses a nun who is one of the
greatest servants of God there is in them, so far as I can
judge, great in spirituality, and in the graces which His
Majesty bestows on her, humble and given to penance: yet
she cannot succeed in understanding some points in the
Constitutions. Our accusing each other of Faults in Chapter
seems to her uncharitable, and she says that she cannot say
anything against the Sisters. And there are other things
of this kind which I could relate of some other Sisters who
are great servants of God; who in other matters, as I see,
could give odds to Sisters who understand these things very
well.

And the Prioress must not think that she understands
souls straight off: let her leave this to God, Who alone is able
to comprehend them : but let her seek to lead each one in the
way in which His Majesty leads her, always provided that
she does not fail in obedience or in the more essential points
of the Rule and Constitutions. That one of the eleven thou-
sand virgins who hid herself did not fail to be a saint and a
martyr, but rather suffered more, perhaps, than the other
virgins, in coming afterwards all alone to offer herself for
martyrdom.

122 Chapter XVIII

Well, now, to return to mortifications. Sometimes the
Prioress commands a Sister, to mortify her, something which,
though small in itself, is serious to her: and suppose she
does it, it leaves her so troubled and upset that it would have
been better not to have commanded it. Let the Prioress at
once take warning by this not to attempt to make her perfect
by main force; but let her conceal her own views and go on
little by little until the Lord works in her soul, lest that
which she does to perfect her should only cause her disquiet
and bring misery to her spirit, which is a very terrible
thing ; while she might be a very good nun without that
particular perfection. And when she sees what the others
do, little by little she will come to do the samef as we often
have seen: and even if not, she will be saved without that
virtue. For I know one of them who all her life has had
great virtues and has served our Lord many years already,
and in many ways ; and yet she often has such imperfections
and wrong feelings that she can do nothing with herself, and
she knows it and mourns over it with me. I think God lets
her fall into those faults without sin — for there is no sin in
them — that she may humble herself and may have something
to shew her that she is not altogether perfect. So, as some
will bear great mortifications, and the greater the happier
they will be, because the Lord has given to their souls strength
to conquer their will; so others cannot bear even little ones,
and to impose them would be like loading a child with two
bushels of corn: not only could he not carry them, but
would break down and fall to the ground. So, my daughters
(to the Prioresses I am speaking), forgive me: for it is the
things which I have seen some do which have made me en-
large so much on this point.

Another thing I could impress upon you, and it is very

Counsels to Prioresses 123

important, that, although it should be only as a test of obedi-
ence, you should not command anything which, if it were done,
might be a venial sin — and I have known of some things which
would have been mortal sins if they had done them : at least
the Sisters themselves might perhaps have been saved as having
done them in their simplicity; but not the Prioress. For
there is nothing she tells them which they do not immediately
carry out. And as they hear and read of the things which
the Saints in the desert did, so all things whatsoever seem
right to them when commanded them, at least right that they
should do them. Moreover let the Sisters be instructed that
anything which would be a mortal sin if done not in obedience,
they cannot do in obedience, except it were such a thing as
omitting to hear mass or to keep Church fasts ; for the Prioress
may have good reasons for such as these. But throwing them-
selves into a well and things of that sort are wrong to do,
because nobody has a right to think that God will perform
a miracle for her as He has done for the Saints. There are
plenty of things by which perfect obedience can be trained :
and I would commend anything which keeps off from these
dangers.

Once when a Sister at Malagon asked leave to take the
discipline, the Prioress (no doubt others had been asking the
same) said, " Let me alone." When she went on begging, she
said, "Go along1, let me alone." The Sister with great
simplicity went and walked for some hours, until a Sister asked
her, Why was she walking so much ? — or some such words — and
she said that she had been told to do it. At that moment the
bell rang for Matins, and when the Prioress asked why she had
not come, the other Sister told her what had taken place.

1 [Lit. "Go and walk." Tr.]

124 Chapter XVIII

So it is necessary, as I said before, for Prioresses to be very
careful with souls, having charge of those whom they see
to be so obedient, and to take care what they do.

To another Prioress a nun went to shew her one of those
very large worms, telling her to look how pretty it was, and
the Prioress said joking, Then let her eat it. She went off
and fried it very well. The cook asked her, Why she was
frying it ? and she said, To eat it : and so she meant to do ;
while this was very far from the Prioress' intention : and it
might have done her much harm. It pleases me the more
that the nuns should possess this virtue of obedience to an
extreme degree, because I have a special love of it : and so I
have done all I could that they might have it : but it would
have been of little use if the Lord had not of His great mercy
given grace to all the Sisters in common to desire it. May it
please His Majesty still to increase it.

CHAPTER XIX

Continues the account of the Foundation at Salamanca.

I HAVE made a long digression, because when something
occurs to me which it has pleased the Lord I should know by ex-
perience, I do not like not setting it down. It may be that what
I think right is right. Always ask counsel, my daughters, of
learned men ; for in learning you will find the way of perfection
with discretion and truth. It is very necessary for Prioresses,
if they would fulfil their office aright, to make their confession
to learned men. If not, they will make blunders enough,
thinking them sanctity. Also they ought to arrange for their
nuns to go to confession to learned men.

Salamanca 125

Well, on the Eve of All Saints, in the year which I have
said above, about midday, we arrived in the city of Salamanca.
From our lodging I sent for a good man there, called Nicholas
Gutierrez, of whom I had requested that he would get the
house cleared for us. He was a great servant of God, who by
his good life had gained from His Majesty peace and content-
ment amid great troubles, for he had been through many : he
had seen great prosperity, and had come to poverty, and bore
himself in it as cheerfully as in his riches. He laboured much
in this foundation with abundant devotion and good will.

When he came, he told me that the house was not yet
empty, for he had not been able to get the students to turn
out of it. I told him how important it was that they should
give it up to us at once, before it became known that I was in
the town ; for I always went in fear of some hindrance, as I
have said. He went to the lady who owned the house, and
made such efforts that it was left empty that very evening ;
and about nightfall we entered it. It was the first convent
which I founded without reserving the Blessed Sacrament;
because I used to think that it was not taking possession if It
was not reserved, but now I had learned that that did not
matter. This was a great comfort to me, seeing how unfit for
it the students had left the place. They cannot have been at
all nice in their ways : for the house was in such a state that
we had no little work that night1. Next morning early the
first mass was said, and I sent to fetch more nuns, who were
to come from Medina del Campo.

1 One of these students was afterwards a Bishop, Don Juan Moriz, of
Barbastro. In the fifth volume of the Ano Teresiano, p. 74, there is an
interesting letter by him, in which (he was asking for St Theresa's
canonization) he says, " Forty years ago, when I was a student at Sala-
manca, I turned out of the house where I was lodging that she might come
in to found a convent."

126 Chapter XIX

The night of All Saints' Day I and my companion remained
in the house alone. I can tell you, Sisters, that it makes me
inclined to laugh when I think of the terror of my companion,
Maria of the Sacrament, who was a nun older than I, a great
servant of God. The house was very large and rambling, and
had many garrets1, and my companion could not get the
students out of her head, thinking that, as they were so angry
at having to go out of the house, one of them might have
hidden in it. They could very well have done so as regards
hiding places. We locked ourselves into a room where there
was straw, which was the first thing I had provided for
founding the house, because with it we could do without a
bed. We slept in it that night with a blanket apiece which
had been lent us.

Next day some nuns who lived next door, who, we had
thought, would not like our coming, lent us bedclothes for our
companions who were coming, and gave us alms : and all the
time that we were in that house they bestowed on us many
kindnesses and alms. The name of their house was Saint
Isabel2.

When my companion found herself locked into that room,
she seemed to be a little reassured as to the students ; yet
notwithstanding, she did nothing but look from one side to

1 The house, which to this day bears St Theresa's name, is between
the churches of San Juan de Barbalos and that of St Thomas, now
demolished. The house is even worse and more inconvenient than in St
Theresa's time, the entrance to it being across an open sewer.

2 They were Franciscan Tertiaries. Although the house was suppressed
in 1857, it has since been re-established. There were houses of this Bule
at B6jar and other places : and they still exist at Alba de Tormes, where
the cell is still shewn in which St Theresa slept when she went to make
her foundation there. The habit is violet or mulberry, in memory of the
queen St Elizabeth.

Salamanca 127

the other : and the evil spirit must have helped to put
thoughts of dangers into her mind in order to upset me ; for
with my weak heart, a little suffices. I asked her why she
was looking about, when nobody could get in. She said,
" Mother, I am thinking, if I died here now, what would you do
all alone ? ' This, if it should come to pass, seemed to me a
dreadful thing. It made me reflect a little, and be frightened
too ; for even when I am not nervous, dead bodies always give
me a curious feeling, even when I am not alone. And with
the tolling of the bells into the bargain — for, as I said, it was
the night of All Souls — the devil got a good start for making
us lose our wits with childish trifles : when he sees that people
are not afraid of him himself, he seeks other devices. I
answered her, " Sister, when this comes to pass, I will think
what to do : now let me go to sleep." As we had had two
bad nights, sleep soon drove away our fears. Next day they
were ended by the arrival of more nuns.

The convent was in that house three years, or it may have
been four ; for I remember very little about it, because I was sent
to the Incarnation at Avila1. I never, of my own will, would
leave any convent, nor have I ever left one, until I could
leave it in a house of its own, enclosed and fitted up to my
liking. For in this God has given me the grace to like to be
always foremost in the labour of it, and I have got together
everything, even to the most trifling things, for the nuns'
comfort and convenience, just as if I myself had to live all
my life in that house : and so it has always given me great
pleasure when they were settled in very well.

I felt deeply for what those Sisters suffered at Salamanca :
not for lack of maintenance, for I saw to that from where I

1 This was in 1571. She was sent for to be Prioress.

128 Chapter XIX

was, because the house was quite out of the way for alms ; but
for want of health, because the house was damp and very cold,
and as it was so large this could not be remedied ; and the
worst was, that the Blessed Sacrament was not reserved,
which, under such strict enclosure, is a great deprivation.
This was not the Sisters' feeling, but they bore all with a
contentment to praise God for : and some of them said to me
that it seemed to them wrong to wish for another house, for
they lived there as happily as if they had had the Blessed
Sacrament.

Well, the Superior, seeing their goodness and the troubles
which they endured, and moved with pity, sent to the
Incarnation for me. The nuns had already arranged with a
gentleman there to let them have a house, only it was one
which needed more than a thousand ducats to be spent on it
before they could go into it. It was entailed property, but
the owner agreed that we should be allowed to enter it, even
if the king's licence should not have arrived, and that we
might very well put up walls. Father Julian of Avila, the
one who, as I have said, used to go with me to these founda-
tions, had come with me, and I arranged that he should
accompany me that we might see the house, to say what had
to be done ; for I understand these matters well by reason of
my experience.

We went in August, and with all the haste we could
make, we had come to Michaelmas, which is the time when
houses in those parts are let, and yet the house was not
finished by a long way ; but as we had not hired the one we
were in for another year, another tenant had already taken it,
and was hurrying us. The whitewashing of the chapel was
all but finished. The gentleman who had sold us the house
was away. Certain people who wished us well told us that we

Salamanca 129

were acting unwisely in departing so soon : but where needs
must, counsels can ill be taken if no remedy is provided. We
removed on Michaelmas Eve, a little before daybreak. It
was already made known abroad that Michaelmas would be
the day when the Blessed Sacrament was to be reserved, and
who the preacher was to be. It pleased the Lord that in the
evening of the day when we removed there was such violent
rain that carrying across the necessary things was done with
difficulty. The chapel was newly built, and it was so badly
roofed that most of it let the rain through. I can tell you,
daughters, that I found myself very imperfect that day : for
as the date had been given out, I did not know what to do ;
but I kept on lamenting, and I said to our Lord, as it were
complaining, That I would He would either not command me to
engage in these works, or would set this trouble right. That
good man Nicholas Gutierrez, in his equanimity, as if it were
nothing, told me very gently not to distress myself, for God
would set it right. And so it was : for on Michaelmas Day, at
the time when the people were to come, the sun began to shine.
This moved me to devotion, and I saw how much better that
dear good man had done with his trust in our Lord than
I with my worry. There were a great many people and there
was music, and the Blessed Sacrament was reserved with great
solemnity. And as this house was well situated1, the convent
began to be known and cared for : in particular, the Countess
of Monterey, Dona Maria Pimentel, favoured us greatly, and
a lady named Dona Mariana, whose husband was mayor.

1 It was opposite the Convent of the Madre de Dios, therefore near the
beautiful but now dismantled Palace of Monterey. St Theresa stayed in
this palace for some time, and in it she worked a great miracle. The
convent was afterwards demolished when the Count de Fuentes built the
magnificent convent of Eecollet Augustinians.

T. F. 9

130 Chapter XIX

The very next day, to temper our joy at having the
Blessed Sacrament, came the gentleman who owned the house,
so furious that I did not know what to do with him, and the
devil would not allow him to listen to reason — for we had
fulfilled all our agreement with him. Of little use was it to
try to tell him so. When certain people had talked to him,
he was a little pacified, but afterwards went back to his former
mind. I made up my mind to leave the house to him, but
this pleased him no better, because he wanted the money
given him immediately1. It was his wife's house, and she had

1 [The fundamental laws of Castile (the Siete Partidas) and the Leyes
de Toro which were in operation almost unchanged in the Nueva
Eecopilacion of the time of Philip II, gave to married women absolute
right to the enjoyment of all property belonging to them, whether
entailed (de Mayorazgo) or not, during their life. There existed,
however, a certain right of the husband after the death of his wife to
a life interest in a portion (one-fourth) of the usufruct of the estate, and
this of course gave the husband a pretext in some cases for interfering
in the disposal of the property by the wife to whom it belonged.

This I gather is what happened in the case of Pedro de la Vanda.
He was absent from Salamanca when his wife made the bargain to sell
the house to Ana de la Encarnacion, but when he returned as the Nuns
were moving in — St Teresa having then arrived — he apparently, con-
sidering that the purchase price ought to be paid down instead of by
instalments, raised the objections he did to the terms and plunged the
poor Nuns into the long and ruinous litigation that ensued. St Teresa
herself in one of her letters says that the origin of the trouble was a
dispute between D. Pedro and his ivife, the latter being content to abide
by the bargain that she herself had made, whilst her husband was not.
When a mayorazgo was what is called a "Mayorazgo Eegular," in
CASTILE only, the succession of the entail followed the old Spanish
tradition by which females inherited after males (as in the case of the
crown of England) and this form of entail could only be broken by
obtaining a royal license on the petition of the owner and the heirs in
tail then in existence.

This was, however, purely a matter of payment and form when the
parties interested were agreed. I do not know, but it is possible that

Salamanca 131

wished to sell it for the benefit of two daughters, and it was
on this ground that they had asked for the licence. The
money had been deposited with the person whom he had
named.

It has turned out that, although this was more than three
years ago, the purchase is not yet completed, nor do I know
whether the convent will stay there1 (that is why I mention this),
I mean to say in that house, or where it will settle. What I
do know is that in no convent of the primitive Rule which
the Lord has yet founded have the nuns been through so much
by a long way. Those who are there are, by God's mercy, so
good that they bear it all cheerfully. May it please His
Majesty that this may be to their advancement! For it
matters little whether we have a good house or not: rather

Pedro de la Vanda by marital right and by his claim for a share of the
income of the house in case of his wife's death, may have tried to stop
the granting of the King's license to break the mayorazgo. So far as I
know, the ground of his objection to the bargain that his wife had made
with the Nuns and Ana de la Encarnacion was that the purchase money
ought to be paid down and not by instalments.

I think I should add that the " Licencia Marital " of the husband was
necessary before a wife could legally alienate the property belonging to
her, not only because in case of her death he had a fourth life interest
in the usufruct but also by derecho marital. If the husband unreasonably
withheld this license the wife had the right of recourse to the tribunals,
which could if necessary authorise the sale if desired by the wife-owner
independently of the husband's permission.

"What happened in the present case, as I gather, was that Pedro de la
Vanda did not desire to quash the sale but to exert his right to modify
the terms which his wife had made with the nuns. MARTIN HUME.]

1 As a matter of fact, it did not ; and in letters written by the Saint
in latter years can be seen what difficulty there was in finding a house,
until they built the convent which they still possess outside the walls.
This was partly laid in ruins by the Portuguese last century during the
wars of succession, with the rest of the suburb of Villamayor.

9—2

132 Chapter XIX

it is a great pleasure when we find ourselves in a house which
we can be turned out of, remembering how the Lord of the
world had no house. The being in a house which was not
our own has sometimes happened to us, as may be seen in the
story of these Foundations ; and it is the truth that I have
never seen a nun distressed about it. May it please His
Divine Majesty that we may not fail to attain the eternal
mansions, of His infinite goodness and mercy. Amen, amen.

CHAPTER XX

Of the Foundation of the Convent of our Lady of the Annunciation

at Alba de Tormes, in 1571.

NOT two months after the All Saints' Day when we had
taken possession of the house at Salamanca, I was entreated
on behalf of the Duke of Alba's bursar and his wife to make
a foundation and convent at Alba ; and I was not much
inclined to do it, because the place was so small that the
convent would have to be endowed, and I would rather that
no convent was endowed. The Father Master Fray Domingo
Banez, my confessor, of whom I have spoken at the be-
ginning of this book, who happened to be at Salamanca, chid
me, and said that, since the Council [of Trent] had sanctioned
endowments, it would be wrong to refrain from founding a
convent on that account : and that I did not understand ; for it
would make no difference to the nuns' being poor and very
perfect.

Before I go farther, I will say who the foundress was, and
how the Lord led her to found it.

Alba de Tormes 133

Teresa de Layz, the foundress of the convent of the Assump-
tion2 of our Lady at Alba de Tormes, was the daughter of noble
parents, very aristocratic3 and of good descent. As they
were not so wealthy as the position of their family required,
they had taken up their abode in a village called Tordillos,
two leagues from the said town of Alba. It is such a pity
that, because worldly affairs are held in such vain estimation,
people will rather endure the lack which there is in such
small villages of good teaching and many other things which
are means of giving light to the soul, than sacrifice one jot of
the punctilios which what they call honour4 carries with it I

Well, as they already had four daughters, when Teresa de
Layz came to be born, it was a great distress to her parents
to find that she also was a girl. It is certainly much to be
lamented that mortals, without understanding what is best
for them, as though they were altogether ignorant of God's
counsels, not knowing the great advantages which may come
from daughters nor the great evils from sons, yet do not seem
to be willing to leave these things to Him Who made all and
knows all, but are dreadfully disappointed at what they should
rejoice over. Like people whose faith is slumbering, they do
not go on to consider nor remember that it is God who thus
ordains it, so as to leave it all in His hands. And even if
they are too blind to do this, it is great ignorance not to see
how useless it is to make lamentations. Oh, my God, how differ-
ently we shall judge of these things in the day when the truth

1 In the original MS. there is this break, the story recommencing with
the monogram.

2 [A slip for Annunciation. Tr.]

3 [" Muy hijos de algo." Tr.]

4 [Honra. See note to p. 187. Tr.]

134 Chapter XX

of all things shall be known ! And how many fathers will find
themselves going to hell because they have had sons, and how
many mothers in like manner will find themselves in heaven
through their daughters !

Well, to return to what I was saying, things came to such
a pass that, as if the little girl's life were a thing which mat-
tered little to them, on the third day from her birth she was
left alone and without anyone's giving a thought to her from
morning to night. In one thing they had done well, that
they had had her baptized by an ecclesiastic directly she was
born. At night, when a woman who had the care of her
came, and heard what had happened, she went running to see
whether she was dead, and with her some other people who
had been to see the mother, who were witnesses of what I am
about to relate. The woman took her up in her arms weeping,
and said, "How is this, my child, are you not a Christian?"
meaning, How cruel it had been ! The baby lifted up her head
and said, "Yes, I am1 " : and she spoke no more until the age
when children usually speak. Those who heard her were left in
astonishment; and from that time forth her mother began to
care for her and make much of her, and she often said thus,
That she would like to live to see what God would do with
this child. She brought up the girls excellently, teaching
them all that belongs to a good life.

When the time came for them to seek a marriage for her,
she did not desire it, nor was she willing. But she came to
hear that Francisco Velasquez, her present husband, who also
is the founder of this convent, had proposed for her; and
when she heard his name, she determined to marry, if they
would marry her to him, although she had never seen him in
her life. But the Lord saw this to be fitting, in order that

1 [In Spanish, Si soy. Tr.]

Alba de Tormes 135

the good work might be done which they both together have
done to His Majesty's service. For besides being a good
man, and wealthy, he loves his wife so much that he does her
pleasure in everything : and with good reason ; for everything
which can be desired in a married woman the Lord bestowed
on her in abundance.

She takes great care of her household ; and her goodness
is great. When her husband took her to Alba, his native
place, and the billeting officers of the duke happened to billet
a young gentleman in her house, she disliked it so much that
she began to hate the place. For she being young and very
good looking, the devil began to put evil thoughts into his
mind: and if she had not been so good, some harm might
have come of it. But when she perceived it, she begged her
husband, without telling him anything, to take her away from
Alba. He did so, and took her to Salamanca, where they
lived very happily, and with many of the good things of this
world, because he held an office which made everyone wish to
please and entertain them. They had only one sorrow — that the
Lord had given them no children : and great were the devotions
and prayers which she offered that she might have them : and
she never besought the Lord for anything else but to give her
offspring in order that when she herself was dead they might
continue praising His Majesty; for it seemed to her a grievous
thing that His praises should end with her life, and there
should be no one after her to praise His Majesty. And she
herself told me that she never set before her any other reason
for desiring it : and she is a w^oman of great truthfulness, and
such a good Christian and so good that it often makes me
praise our Lord to see what she does and to see a soul so
desirous of pleasing Him continually. She never ceases to
employ her time well.

136 Chapter XX

Well, she went on desiring this for many years, and
commending it to St Andrew, who, she was told, was an
intercessor in such matters. After she had offered many
prayers, one night when she was in bed, it was said to her,
Do not seek to have children, for thou wouldst destroy
thy soul. This left her astonished and afraid; yet for all
this the desire did not leave her, because she thought, when
her end was so good, why should she be destroying her soul?
And so she went on imploring it of our Lord, and in
particular making special prayers to St Andrew.

Once when she was desiring this same thing — she knows
not whether awake or asleep : however it may have been, the
vision is shewn to have been a true one by what followed-
she thought she found herself in a house where in the patio,
under the gallery, there was a well, and she saw in that place
a meadow and green grass, with white flowers here and there
in it, all so beautiful that she could not say enough of what
it was to look at. Beside the well St Andrew appeared to her
in the form of a very venerable and beautiful person, so that
it gave her great delight to behold him : and he said to her,
Other children are these than those whom thou desirest.

She wished that the great joy which she felt in that place
might never come to an end ; but it did not last long. And
she understood clearly that that Saint was St Andrew, without
anyone's telling her; and likewise that it was the will of our
Lord that she should found a convent. By which we may
know that it was an intellectual as well as an imaginary
vision, and could not be a fancy nor an illusion of the devil.
In the first place, it was not a fancy, because of its great effect ;
for from that moment she never again desired children ; but
she remained so convinced in her heart that this was the will
of God that she neither asked for them nor wished for them any

Alba de Tormes 137

more. Likewise it is seen not to have been the devil, both by
the effect which it caused, for nothing in which he is concerned
can do good; and here is the convent established, in which
our Lord is greatly served: and also because this was more
than six years before the convent was founded ; and he is not
able to know the future.

Being deeply impressed by the vision, she said to her
husband that, since God was not pleased to give them
children, they had better found a convent of nuns. He,
being so good and loving her so much, was well pleased
with this, and began to consider where it should be. She
wished it to be in the place where she was born: but he
set before her certain real difficulties, that she might see it
would not be wise to make it there.

While they were considering this, the Duchess of Alba
sent for him ; and when he came, she asked him to return to
Alba to hold a certain office and position which she would
give him in her household. He, when he had been to see
why she had sent for him, and had been told about it, ac-
cepted it, although it was much less profitable than the office
which he held at Salamanca. His wife, when she heard of
it, was miserable, because, as I have said, she hated the place;
but when he assured her that she would be given no more
guests, she was a little comforted, though for all that she was
very unhappy, because she liked living at Salamanca better.
He bought a house and sent for her. She came very un-
happy, and was more so when she saw the house, because
although it was well situated and spacious, it had no out-
buildings. So she spent that night very unhappy.

Next day early when she went into the patio, she saw the
well in the very same place where she had seen St Andrew
beside it, and everything else just exactly as she had seen it :

138 Chapter XX

I mean the place, not the Saint, nor meadow or flowers, al-
though in her imagination she retained them and retains
them still. Having seen this, she was astonished, and she
determined to found the convent there ; and she was in great
comfort and peace, no longer wishing to go elsewhere : and
they began buying other houses adjoining until they had
got ample space. She was very anxious as to what Order it
should be of, because she wanted the nuns to be few in
number and strictly enclosed. When she spoke of it to two
monks of different Orders, very good and learned men, they
both told her that it would be better to do some other good
work, because nuns for the most part were discontented : arid
plenty of other things they said ; for as the devil disliked the
foundation, he wished to prevent it, and he made them think
the reasons they gave very reasonable. And, since they in-
sisted so strongly on its not being a good thing, and the devil
took still more pains to hinder it, it made her doubt and fear
and decide not to do it : and so she told her husband. And
they made up their minds, since men such as these had told
them it was not a good thing, and their own intention was only
to please our Lord, that they would let it alone. And so they
agreed to marry a nephew of hers, the son of one of her sisters,
whom she loved much, to a niece of her husband's, and to give
them a great part of their property, and to leave the rest for
the good of their own souls. They chose this nephew because
he was very good and was young in years.

They were both quite resolved on this, and had altogether
settled it. But since our Lord had ordained otherwise, their
agreement availed little; for in less than a fortnight the
nephew fell into an illness so severe that in a very few days
our Lord took him to Himself. In this great extremity she
was convinced that it was her determination to leave undone

Alba de Tormes 139

what God desired of her, in order to give money to her
nephew, which had been the cause of his death; and so she
was in great fear. She called to mind the prophet Jonah and
what had befallen him for not being willing to obey God ; and she
thought God had punished her in like manner by taking from
her that nephew whom she so dearly loved. From that day
she determined that nothing should prevent her from founding
the convent ; and her husband the same : although they did
not know how to carry it out. For it seems that God put
into her heart that which now is actually done : but when she
told it to other people and pictured to them what she wanted
the convent to be like, they laughed at her, supposing that
she could not find the kind of things she required. So in
particular did a confessor of hers, a Franciscan, a man of
learning and high character: and she was very disconsolate.

At that time this friar happened to go to a certain place
where he was told of the convents of our Lady of Carmel
which were in course of foundation. He inquired very care-
fully about them, and came back and told her that he had now
discovered that she could found the convent, and just as she
wished. He told her what was being done and that she had
better arrange to discuss it with me ; and so she did.

We had difficulty enough in coming to an agreement :
because I have always maintained that convents which are
founded with an endowment should have sufficient for
the nuns not to be dependent on their relations or anyone
else ; but that they should be given in the house all that is
needful for food and clothes and a very good provision for the
sick : because many inconveniences arise from the lack of
necessaries. For founding many convents in poverty without
endowment, I have never lacked heart and confidence,
being convinced that God will not fail them : but for founding

140 Chapter XX

them with an insufficient endowment, I do altogether lack it.
I consider it better that they were not founded at all.

In the end they came to reason, and gave endowment
enough for the numbers ; and — what cost them much — they
left their own house to give it to us, and went to another very
bad one. The Blessed Sacrament was reserved and the foun-
dation made on the day of the Conversion of St Paul, in the
year 1571, to the honour and glory of God ; and there, to
my thinking, is His Majesty well served. May it please Him
ever to carry it forward !

I had begun to narrate some particulars about some
Sisters of these convents, thinking that, when these came to
be read, those who are now living would no longer be alive,
and that those who came after might be animated to carry
forward such good beginnings. Afterwards I thought that
there would be some one who would tell it better and more in
detail, and without the fear which I have had, for I feel that
I may be considered prejudiced in their favour; and so I have
left out many things which anyone who has seen and heard
them cannot but hold for miraculous, because they are super-
natural. Of these I have not wished to tell any, nor of
things which our Lord has clearly been seen to accomplish
through their prayers.

I rather suspect that in my reckoning of the dates of
these foundations there may be some error, although I have
done my best to remember. As it is not very important, and
can be corrected later, I give them from memory as well as I
can ; it makes little odds if there should be some mistake.

CHAPTER XXI

Of the Foundation of the Carmelite Convent of the glorious
St Joseph, at Segovia. It was founded on St Joseph's Day,
1574.

I HAVE already told how, after the convents of Salamanca
and Alba were founded, and before the one at Salamanca was
settled in a house of its own, the Master Father Fray Pedro
Fernandez, who was at that time Apostolic Commissary,
ordered me to go to the Incarnation at Avila for three years, and
how, seeing the extreme need of the house at Salamanca, he
ordered me to go back there, that they might move to a house
of their own. While I was there one day in prayer, it was
said to me by our Lord that I was to go and found at Segovia.
To me this seemed an impossibility, because I could not go
unless I was sent, and I had understood from the Apostolic
Commissary, Master Fray Pedro Fernandez, that he did not wish
me to make any more foundations ; and I saw too, that as the
three years which I had to spend at the Incarnation were not
completed, there was great reason not to wish it.

While I was thinking over this, the Lord told me to tell
him, and he would do it. He was at Salamanca at the time,
and I wrote to him saying that he already knew that I held
instructions from our Most Reverend General not to omit
making a foundation whenever I saw a suitable opening
anywhere ; that at Segovia the Bishop and the town council
had consented to the foundation of a convent ; that if his
Paternity ordered me to do so, I would found it : that I
informed him of this in order to satisfy my own conscience ;
and that I should be at rest or content with whatever he
commanded. I believe these were my words, or thereabouts,

142 Chapter XXI

and that I thought it would be to the service of God. Well
did it appear that His Majesty desired it: for he at once
told me to found it, and gave me the licence : which greatly
surprised me, from what I had heard him say in regard to
this matter. From Salamanca I arranged to have a house
hired for me : because, since the foundations of Toledo and
Valladolid, I had seen that it was better to seek one of our
own after we had taken possession, for many reasons, the first
one being that I had not a penny to buy houses ; but when a
convent is already founded, the Lord soon provides it.
Besides, one can thus choose a situation more to our
purpose.

There was a lady there named Dona Ana de Jimena, who
had been the wife of a country gentleman. She had once
been to see me at Avila, and she was a great servant of God,
and her vocation had always been to be a nun. So, when the
convent was established, she entered it, with a daughter of
hers who was leading a very good life ; and for the unhappiness
which she had been through as a wife and a widow, the Lord
rendered her double happiness when she found herself in
Religion. The mother and daughter had always lived in
retirement and in the service of God. This saintly woman
took the house and provided all that she saw was needful for
us, both for the chapel and for ourselves ; so that I had little
trouble about this. But in order that there might be no
foundation without some, He permitted me to go there with
severe fever and loathing of food, and excessive interior troubles
of dryness and darkness in my soul, and bodily ills of many
kinds, which continued at their worst for three months : and
the half year that I was there, I was ill all the time.

On St Joseph's Day we reserved the Blessed Sacrament.
I would only enter the town secretly at night on the Eve,

Segovia 143

although I had the permission of the Bishop and of the town
council. The permission had been given long ago; but
as I was at the Incarnation and had a Superior other than
our Father the Generalissimo, I had not been able to make
the foundation. And I had the permission of the Bishop — the
one who was Bishop when the town council gave its consent
-by word of mouth, as he gave it to a gentleman who asked
it for us, by name Andres de Jimena. He did not concern
himself to get it in writing : nor did I think it mattered.
But I was mistaken: for when it came to the knowledge
of the Vicar-general1 that the convent had been founded, he
came at once, very angry, and would not consent to let mass
be said any more, and wanted to send to prison the priest who
had said it, a Barefoot friar2 who had gone with Father Julian
of Avila, and another servant of God who went with me, by
name Antonio Gaytan.

This Antonio Gaytan was a gentleman of Alba, and our
Lord had called him when he was living much mixed up in
the world : and a few years later he had it so under his feet
that he only thought how he could do it greater service. Since
in the account of subsequent foundations he will have to be
mentioned, because he has helped me much and toiled much,
I have said who he is: but if I had to say his virtues, I
should not have done so soon. What profited us most on this
journey was his being so ready to endure hardness that
amongst the servants who travelled with us there was not
one who did so much as he did of what had to be done. He
is always much in prayer, and God has given him such grace
that everything which would have put out anyone else gave
him pleasure and came easy to him. So it was with all his

1 [The Bishop being absent. Tr.]

2 [St John of the Cross. Tr.]

144 Chapter XXI

trouble in these foundations: so that it is plain that God
called him and Father Julian of Avila to this work-
Father Julian, however, has been in it from the foundation of
the first convent. It must have been on account of such
companions that it pleased our Lord all should go well with
me. Their discourse on the journeys consisted in speaking of
God and teaching those who went with us and those whom
we met : and so in every way they kept doing service to His
Majesty. It is well, my daughters, those of you who shall
read the story of these foundations, that you should learn
what you owe them; so that, since for no advantage to
themselves they so toiled for the good which you enjoy of
living in these convents, you may commend them to our
Lord and they may reap some profit through your prayers.
For indeed, if you knew the weary nights and days they have
passed, and their hardships on the road, you would do this
with a very good will.

The Vicar-general would not leave our chapel without
setting a constable at the door. Why, I know not. It a
little served to frighten those who were there : but as for
me, nothing which happened after taking possession ever
troubled me much ; my fears were all beforehand. I sent
for some people, relations of one of the Sisters whom I had
taken with me, who were some of the chief people of the
town, that they might speak to the Vicar-general, and tell
him that I had the Bishop's permission. He knew that very
well, as he afterwards said; but he would have wished us
to inform him beforehand. I believe it would have been
much worse if we had. At last they settled with him to
leave us in possession of the house, but he took away the
Blessed Sacrament. This we did not mind.

We lived thus for some months until we bought a house,

Segovia 145

and with it lawsuits in plenty. We had had one with the
Franciscans about a house which was bought near .theirs:
about this other we had one with the Ransomers, and with
the town council, because they held a mortgage on the house.
Oh Jesus, how troublesome it is to contend with many
opinions ! When at last all seemed to be settled, it began
over again ; because it did not suffice to give them what they
asked for, but straightway some other difficulty was made.
It seems nothing as I relate it, but to go through, it was
a great deal.

A nephew of the Bishop's who was Prior and a Canon of
the church did all he could for us, so also did a Licentiate,
Herrera, a very great servant of God. At last, by paying
a great sum of money, that difficulty was settled. We still
had the Ransomers' suit against us : so that we had to move
into the new house with the greatest secrecy. When they
found we were there — we went a day or two before Michael-
mas— they thought good to come to terms with us for a
payment.

The chief distress which these hindrances gave me was that
it wanted only seven or eight days to the end of my three years
at the Incarnation, and at all costs I was bound to be there
at the end of them. It pleased the Lord that all was so well
settled that there remained no contentions, and in two or
three days more I was off to the Incarnation. For ever
blessed be His name Who has done me so many favours, and
may all His creatures praise Him ! Amen.

T. F. 10

CHAPTER XXII

Of the Foundation of the Convent of the Glorious St Joseph del
Salvador at Veas, on St Matthias' Day, 1575.

AT the time when, as I have said, I had been sent from
the Incarnation to Salamanca, while I was there, a messenger
came from the town of Veas with letters for me from a lady
of that place and from the parish priest and from other people,
begging me to go and found a convent there, because they
already had a house for it, and there was nothing wanting
but to go and found it. I questioned the man. He told me
great things of the country, and rightly, for it is most delight-
ful, and the climate good: but seeing how many leagues it
was off from Salamanca, I thought it out of the question,
especially as it would have to be done by order of the
Apostolic Commissary: for, as I have said, he was against
foundations, or at least not in favour of them. So I intended
to answer that I could not, without saying anything to him.
Afterwards I reflected that as he was at Salamanca at the
time, it would not be right to do so without asking his
opinion, because of the injunction which our Most Reverend
Father General had laid upon me not to omit to found.

When he had seen the letters he sent to tell me that he
did not think their feelings should be hurt; that he was
edified by their devotion; and that I should write to them
saying that when they had obtained leave from their Order1,
we would be ready to make the foundation. I might be
certain, he said, that they would not get leave; for he had

1 [The Knights of St James. Tr.]

Veas 147

heard of the Knights Commanders from other parties who
had tried for many years and not succeeded in getting it : and
they should not be answered harshly.

I sometimes think of this, and how it comes to pass that
of what our Lord wills, even when we will it not, we become
the instrument without intending it, as in this case was the
Father Master Fray Pedro Fernandez, the Commissary. And
so when they had obtained the licence, he could not refuse,
but the foundation was made in that way.

This convent of the Blessed St Joseph of the town of
Veas was founded on St Matthias* Day in the year 1575." It
had its origin in the following manner, to the honour and
glory of God. There was at Veas a gentleman of noble
lineage and abundance of worldly wealth, called Sancho
Bodriguez de Sandoval. He was married to a lady named
Dona Catalina Godinez. Among other children whom the
Lord gave them were two daughters ; the elder, Dona Catalina
Godinez, the younger, Dona Maria de Sandoval, who were the
foundresses of the said convent.

The elder girl was fourteen when our Lord called her for
Himself. Up to that age she was very far from giving up the
world, but rather held so high an opinion of herself that any
marriages which her father attempted to arrange for her
seemed to her not good enough.

One day when she was in a chamber within the one where
her father was (although he was not yet up), by chance she
happened to read on a crucifix which was there the title
which is written over the cross; and suddenly, as she read
it, the Lord entirely changed her. For she had been thinking
over a match which was proposed for her, which was an ex-
ceedingly good one, and saying within herself, "With how
little my father is satisfied, with just an eldest son ! While

10—2

148 Chapter XXII

I myself intend my family to begin with me." She was not
inclined to marry, because she thought it beneath her to be
subject to anyone. Nor did she know whence this pride arose.
Our Lord very well knew whence to cure it, blessed be His
mercy !

Thus when she read the title, a light seemed to have
come into her soul to know the truth, just as though the
sunlight had come into a dark room: and in this light she
fixed her eyes on the Lord Who was on the cross dripping
with blood, and she thought how evil entreated He was, and
thought of His great humility, and what a different way she
was taking, walking in pride. She must have spent some time
thus ; for the Lord threw her into a trance. In this trance
His Majesty gave her a genuine and deep knowledge of her
own wretchedness, and she would have had everyone know of
it. He gave her a desire to suffer for God so great that she
could have wished to suffer all that the martyrs had gone
through, and with this, so profound a self-abasement of
humility and self-abhorrence that, if it had not been for
offending God, she could have wished to be an outcast
woman, that everyone might abhor her. And thus she be-
gan to abhor herself, with a great desire for penance, which
she afterwards put in practice. Then and there she vowed
poverty and chastity, and desired to see herself in such
subjection that she would have been pleased if she could have
been carried off to the Moors' country for it. All these
virtues have so endured in her that it can well be seen to-
have been a supernatural favour of our Lord, as will presently
be told in order that all may praise Him.

For ever blessed be Thou, my God, Who in one moment
unmakest a soul and makest it anew ! What is this, 0 Lord ?
I would fain ask here what the Apostles asked Thee when

Veas 149

Thou healedst the blind man, saying, Did his parents sin?
I ask, Who had merited so sovereign a favour? Not she, for
I have already said what were the thoughts from which Thou
didst deliver her when Thou didst thus deal with her. Oh
the depth of Thy judgements, Lord! Thou knowest what
Thou doest, and I know not what I am saying, forasmuch
as Thy works and judgements are unfathomable. Be Thou
for ever glorified Who canst do even more; where should I
be, if this were not! But it might be in part her mother;
for she was so good a Christian that it may be Thy goodness
was pleased, in lovingkindness, that in her life-time she should
see such great virtue in her daughters. Sometimes I think Thou
bestowest such favours on those who love Thee : doing them
the grace of giving them something wherewith to serve Thee.

While she was in this state, there came such a loud noise
overhead in the room that it seemed as if it was all tumbling
down. . All the noise seemed to come down through a corner
to where she was, and she heard loud roars which went on
some time; so that her father, who, as I have said, was not
yet up, began to shake with fear, and, as though beside him-
self, put on a gown and took his sword and went in and looking
very white he asked her what it was? She answered that she
had seen nothing. He looked into another room within hers,
and seeing nothing, he told her to go to her mother ; and to
her mother he said that she must not let her be alone, telling
her what he had heard.

Well can it be understood from this what the devil must
feel when he sees a soul lost out of his power whom he reckons
already as his prey. As he so hates our good, I am not sur-
prised that, when he saw the pitiful Lord doing so many
mercies together, he was taken by surprise and made so great
a demonstration of his feeling : especially as he must have

150 Chapter XXII

known that, through the wealth of graces contained in that
soul, he would have to go without other souls which he con-
sidered his own. For it is my own belief that our Lord never
does so great a favour without its extending to others besides
the person himself.

She never told anything of this : but it left her with the
greatest desire for the Religious life, and she greatly besought
it of her parents. They would never give consent. At the
end of three years during which she had greatly besought it,
when she saw that they would not allow this, she dressed
herself, one St Joseph's Day, in plain sober clothes. She told
only her mother, whom it would have been easy to persuade
to let her be a nun : her father she dared not. In this dress
she went to church, in order that, since she had been seen in
it publicly, it might not be taken from her : and so it turned
out, for they said nothing about it.

During those three years she kept hours of prayer, and
mortified herself in every way she could, as the Lord taught
her. She used to go into the yard and wet her face and
set herself in the sun, so that for her ill looks she might cease
to be harassed with offers of marriage. She had a great dis-
like to giving orders to anyone, yet, as she kept house for
her parents, she had to give orders to the women servants, be-
cause she could not do otherwise. Then, when she thought of
this, she would watch until they were asleep, and go and kiss
their feet, being distressed that, being better than her, they
should serve her. As in the daytime she was kept occupied
with her parents, when the time for sleep came she would
spend the whole night in prayer ; so that for a long time she
went with so little sleep that it would seem impossible if it
were not supernatural. Her penances and disciplines were
many; for she had no one to keep her in check, nor did she

Veas 151

speak of it to anyone. Among other things, during the whole
of one Lent she wore next her skin one of her father's coats
of mail. She used to go apart to pray in a lonely place where
the devil played strange tricks upon her. Often she began
her prayers at ten in the evening, and was not aware of the
hour until day broke.

In these exercises she spent about four years, when the
Lord began to let her serve Him in other greater ones, giving
her most serious sicknesses and very painful, such as continual
fever, dropsy, and heart disease, and a cancer which was
excised. These sicknesses lasted about seventeen years j for
she was hardly ever well. Five years after God had done her
that favour, her father died: and her sister, who was then
fourteen (that is, a year after she herself had made that
change) also put on a plain dress, though she was very fond
of amusements, and also began to practise devotion. Her
mother aided her in all her good practices and desires.
Thus she approved of their employing themselves in one
work which was most virtuous, but very foreign to their
quality; namely, teaching girls to sew and read, without
payment, but only for the sake of teaching them to pray
and to. know the Faith. They did much good; for many
resorted to them, and even to this day can be seen in these
the good habits which they learned when they were little.
But it did not last long ; for the devil, being annoyed by the
good work, made the parents consider it mean to allow their
daughters to be taught gratis1. This together with the in-
firmities which began to oppress her, brought the work to an

end.

1 This touch is expressive and hits off the stupidly quixotic character
of Spaniards then and now. It is unlikely that there was any teacher of
little girls there. But the gentry, rather than that their children should
take their turn with the children of the poor or be taught gratis, preferred
that they should grow up ignorant.

152 Chapter XXII

Five years after the death of the girls' father, their mother
died. And, as it had always been Dona Catalina's vocation
to be a nun, only that she had not been able to persuade
them of it, she immediately sought to go and be a nun.
Since there was no convent at Veas, her relations advised her,
as the sisters had fairly sufficient to found a convent, to try to
found one in her own town ; for that this would be more to
our Lord's service. As the town was under the Order of
St James, the licence of the Council of Orders was requisite,
and so she began diligently to set to work to get it. It was
so hard to obtain that four years passed, during which they
went to much expense and trouble, and until they presented
a petition beseeching it of the King himself, nothing was of
any avail : so much so that, seeing how great was the diffi-
culty, her relations told her it was folly and she should let
it alone. And, since she was almost always in bed, with
such great infirmities, as I have said, they told her that no
convent would admit her as a nun. She answered that if our
Lord gave her good health within one month, they should
recognize that the foundation would be to His pleasure, and
she herself would go to Court to obtain it.

When she said this, it was more than six months since
she had got out of bed and about eight since she had been
able to move without help. At that time she had had con-
tinual fever for eight years, wasting and consumption, dropsy,
with inflammation of the liver which burnt her up in such sort
that even through her clothes the heat could be felt, and it
singed her shift — a thing which seems incredible, but I myself
heard from the doctor about the sicknesses which she had at
that time ; and I was greatly astonished. She had also arthritic
gout and sciatica.

On the Eve of one St Sebastian's Day, a Saturday, our
Lord gave her such perfect health that she did not know how

Veas 153

to conceal it so that the miracle should not be known. She
says that when the Lord was about to heal her, He sent her
an interior trembling such that her sister thought her life
was coming to a close ; but she perceived in herself a complete
change, and she says that in her soul she felt the difference,
so much better was she. And she was much more pleased at
having the health to be able to carry out the affair of the
convent than she was to have her sufferings cease : because
from the first moment when God called her, He had given her
such self-abhorrence that for suffering she cared nothing.
She says she had so strong a desire to suffer that she used
to pray to God from her heart to exercise her in it in every
way. His Majesty did not fail to accomplish this desire: for
in those eight years she was bled more than five hundred
times, besides so many cuppings as can be seen by the scars.
Sometimes they rubbed salt into them, because a physician
said it was good for drawing the poison out of a pain in the
side; so this was done more than twenty times. What is
most wonderful is that, when the doctor prescribed one of
these remedies, she was eager for the moment when it should
be carried out, without any dread; and she encouraged the
doctors to the cauteries which were frequent for the cancer and
on other such occasions. She says that what made her desire
it was to prove the sincerity of her desire for martyrdom.

When she found herself suddenly well, she spoke to her
confessor and doctor about moving her to another town, so
that it might be said that the change of air had done it.
They were not willing: rather the doctors told it abroad,
because she was already considered incurable on account of a
hemorrhage through the mouth so bad that they said it was
the lungs themselves. She stayed in bed three days, not
daring to get up, lest her good health should be known : but

154 Chapter XXII

as that could no more be concealed than had been her sick-
ness, it was of little use.

She told me that in the previous August, one day when
she was imploring our Lord either to take from her the great
desire she had to be a nun and found the convent, or else to
grant her the means of doing so, she was assured with great
certainty that she would be well in time to go in Lent to ob-
tain the licence. And so she says, that during that period,
although her infirmities oppressed her much more, she never
lost hope that the Lord would do her that favour. And
although she received unction twice : once so much in extremis
that the doctor said it was no good going for the oil, for she
would be dead before it came, she never lost her confidence in
the Lord that she would die a nun. I do not mean to say
that it was in that time between August and St Sebastian's
Day that she twice received unction, but before.

When her brothers and relations saw the mercy and the
miracle which the Lord had done in giving her health so
suddenly, they dared not hinder her going, although it seemed
folly. She spent three months at Court, and in the end the
licence was not given her. But when that petition was pre-
sented to the King, and he heard it was for Barefoot Carmel-
ites, he ordered it to be given at once. When it came to
founding the convent, it was well seen that she had ob-
tained its acceptance with God, by the Superiors' being willing
to accept it, even though it was so far off, and the endow-
ment very small. That which His Majesty desires cannot
fail to be accomplished.

So the nuns arrived at the beginning of Lent, 1575. The
people went forth in procession to receive them with great
solemnity and rejoicing. The satisfaction was universal:
even the very children shewed it to be a work with which

Veas 155

the Lord was pleased. The convent was founded that
same Lent, on St Matthias' Day, and called St Joseph's
of the Saviour1. The two sisters took the habit in the same
day, to their great joy. The health of Dona Catalina im-
proved. Her humility, obedience, and desire to be thought
little of shew clearly that her desires for the service of our
Lord were genuine. May He be glorified for evermore !

This Sister told me among other things that, about twenty
years ago, she lay down one night desiring to find the most
perfect religious Order in the world, to become a nun in it.
And she began to dream that she was walking along a way
very strait and narrow, and dangerous for fear of falling inta
great ravines which she could see. And she saw a Barefoot friar
such that, when afterwards she saw Brother Juan de la Miseria,,
a poor little Lay Brother of our Order who came to Veas while
I was there, she thought he was the one she had seen. He
said to her, Come with me, Sister. And he led her to a
house where were a great number of nuns, and there was na
other light in the house but that of the lighted candles which
they were holding in their hands. She asked what Order it
was ; but they all kept silence, and lifted up their veils, and
their faces were happy and smiling. And she declares that
the faces she saw were those of the same Sisters whom she
has now seen. And the Prioress took her by the hand, and
said, Daughter, I want you here; and she shewed her the
Constitutions and Rule. And when she awoke from this
dream, it was with such content that she felt as if she had
been in heaven : and she wrote down what she remembered of
the Rule.

1 This convent no longer exists. The Community was dispersed
during the civil war, several of the nuns going to the convent at Jaen.
The chapel is used for public worship, serving as a parish church.

156 Chapter XXII

A long time passed before she told her confessor or any-
one; and nobody could tell her about that Order.

There came to Veas a Father of the Company [of Jesus]
who knew her desires, and she shewed him the paper and said
that if she could find that Order, she would be happy; for she
would enter it at once. He knew of our monasteries and told
lier that that was the Rule of the Order of our Lady of Carmel-
al though he did not clearly make her understand this, but
only told her about the monasteries which I was founding:
and so she arranged to send me a messenger, as I have said.
When the answer was brought her, she was so ill that her
confessor told her she might make herself easy: for even if
she were in the convent, they would turn her out ; much
less would they take her now. She was greatly distressed,
and turned to our Lord with earnest longing and said, "My
Lord and my God, I know by the Faith that Thou art He
Who can do all things; then, 0 Life of my soul, do Thou
take from me these desires, or give me the means of accom-
plishing them ! "

This she said with exceeding confidence, imploring our
Lady by the grief she felt when she saw her Son dead in her
arms, to intercede for her. She heard a voice within her
saying, Believe and hope; for I am He Who can do all
things : Thou shalt have health. For to Him Who has had
power to keep thee from dying of so many sicknesses, all mortal
in their nature, and has forbidden them to work their natural
effect, it will be more easy to take them away. She says that
these words were said with such force and assurance that
she could not doubt but that her desire would be accom-
plished, although many more infirmities weighed upon her,
until our Lord gave her the health of which I have spoken.
What has taken place certainly seems something incredible :

Veas 157

and if I had not myself gained my information from the doctor
and from the women who lived in the house and from other
people, it would have been little wonder, wicked as I am, if I
had thought that it was somewhat exaggerated.

Although she is not strong, she has health enough to keep
the Rule, and looks well, and is very cheerful and so humble
in every way, as I have said, that she makes us all praise our
Lord. The sisters gave to the Order all they had, without
any reservation ; for their only condition was that we should
be willing to receive them as nuns. Her detachment from
friends and country is great, and she always greatly desired
to go far away, so she earnestly begged it of the Superiors j
although she is so obedient that she remains there contentedly.
Just in the same way, when she took the veil1 she would not
hear of being a choir Sister but a lay, until I wrote to her,
saying many things and rebuking her for desiring anything
but the will of the Father Provincial, saying that that was not
the way to greater merit, and other such things, speaking
harshly to her. And it is her greatest satisfaction when she is
so treated. By this means I prevailed with her, much against
her will.

Of this soul I know nothing which is not such as to please
God : and this is the experience of us all. May it please His
Majesty to keep her in His hand and increase her virtues and
the grace which He has given, to His greater service and
honour. Amen.

1 [In Profession. Tr.]

CHAPTER XXIII

Of the Foundation of the Carmelite Convent of the glorious St
Joseph in the city of Seville. The first mass was said on the
Feast of the Blessed Trinity, 1575.

WELL, while I was at the town of Veas, waiting for the
licence of the Council of Orders for the foundation at Caravaca,
there came to see me a Barefoot Father of our Order, called
Master Fray Gerdnimo of the Mother of God, Gracian, who
had taken our habit a few years before, at Alcala. He was
a man of great learning, uoderstanding, and modesty, to-
gether with great virtues practised through all his life: so
that our Lady seems to have chosen him out for the good of
the Primitive Order, when he was at Alcala, very far from
taking our habit, although not from joining an Order. For
though his parents had other views for him on account of his
great ability and their being in high favour with the King, he
himself was far from being of their mind.

As soon as he became a student, his father wished to set
him to study law; but he, although he was very young,
minded this so much that by force of weeping he prevailed
upon him to let him attend the courses of theology. As soon
a,s he had taken his Master's degree, he treated with the
Jesuits 1 about entering the Company, and they had accepted

1 In point of fact, the character of Father Gracian was rather that of
a Jesuit than of a Barefoot Carmelite. His great liking for the pulpit
and the confessional, his erudition, ability, and other qualifications for
the active life, seem to belong more to a Jesuit than to a member of a
religious Order given almost exclusively to the contemplative life. For
all that, the reform of the Carmelite Order required a man of great
activity, intelligence, and readiness ; and Providence gave this to St
Theresa in the person of Father Gracian. On the other hand, St Theresa,

Seville 159

him, but for certain reasons they said he should wait some
time. He has told me that every pleasure he had was a
torment to him, because he felt that that was not a good way
to heaven: and he always kept hours of prayer and his
recollection and purity of thought with extreme care.

At that time a great friend of his, Fray Juan of Jesus,
who likewise had a Master's degree, entered our Order as a
lay Brother at the monastery of Pastrana. I do not know
whether it was through a letter which he wrote to him about
the greatness and antiquity of our Order, or what the begin-
ning was : but something gave him such a great taste for
reading everything about it and verifying it by the writings of
great authors, that he says he often had an uneasy conscience,
feeling that he was neglecting the study of other things be-
cause he could not tear himself away from these; and his
hours of recreation he employed in these.

0 wisdom and power of God! how little can we escape
from what He wills ! Well did our Lord see the great need
there was of a person such as him for the work which His
Majesty had commenced. I often give Him praises for the
favour He has done us in this : for if I had taken great pains
to request of His Majesty such a person as could set in order
all the affairs of the Order in these their beginnings, I could
not have succeeded in asking so much as His Majesty gave us
in him. Blessed be He for ever !

Well, while it was very far from his mind to take our
habit, he was asked to go to Pastrana to speak to the Prioress

accustomed as she was to be directed by Jesuits, found within her young
Order a priest with such qualities as theirs, and at once made a vow of
obedience to him. When the reform was accomplished and St Theresa
was dead, Gracian seemed to be out of place, and he was expelled from
the Order. He wished to join the Jesuits; but they would not accept
him.

160 Chapter XXIII

of the convent of our Order there (for it had not yet been
removed thence) ahout receiving a nun. What means does
not the Divine Majesty employ ! For if he had meant to go
there to take the habit, probably there would have been so
many people to oppose it that he would never have done it.
But our Lady the Virgin, to whom he is extremely devoted,
desired to reward him by giving him her habit, and so I think
it was through her intercession that God did him this favour.
And indeed the cause of his having conceived such affection
to the Order and taken the habit, was this glorious Virgin,
who would not leave one so desirous of serving her without
the opportunity of carrying it into effect : for it is her wont to
favour those who seek her protection.

When he was a boy at Madrid he used often to go to an
image of our Lady to which he had a special devotion.
I forget where it was. He called it his lady-love, and visited
it constantly. It must have been she who obtained from her
Son the purity in which he has always lived. He says that
sometimes the image seemed to him to have its eyes swollen with
weeping for the many offences done against her Son. Thence
there sprang up in him a great desire driving him to the cure
of souls, and a very great distress when he witnessed offences
against God. He is so strongly bent on this desire for the good
of souls that any trouble whatever seems little to him if he
thinks it can bear some fruit. This I have found by experi-
ence in many troubles which he has undergone.

Well, the Virgin led him to Pastrana as one caught with
guile, he thinking that he was going in order to obtain the
habit for a nun, and God was leading him there to give it to
him himself. Oh secrets of God! And how, without our
seeking, does He keep disposing our ways to shew us loving-
kindness : and how thus did He reward this soul for the good

Seville 161

works he had done and the good example he had always given
and his earnest desire to serve His glorious Mother; for His
Majesty must always repay this with great rewards.

So, when he got to Pastrana, he went to speak to the
Prioress in order to get her to receive this nun; and it would
seem as though he spoke in order that she might gain from
our Lord his own reception. For when she saw him, his
conversation is so agreeable that, for the most part, all who
have to do with him love him — it is our Lord's grace — and
thus he is loved extremely by all the monks and nuns who
are under him. For though he overlooks no fault, for he is
extremely particular about this, his way of seeing to the good
of the Order is so mild and agreeable that no one is able to
complain of him.

Well, it happened to the Prioress as to others; and it
gave her the strongest wish that he should enter the Order.
She told the Sisters to consider how important it was for
them, because at that time there were in the Order very few
or, one might say, nobody like him: and so they should all
beseech our Lord not to let him go, but that he might take
the habit. This Prioress is a very great servant of God, so
that I think her petition alone would have been heard by His
Majesty, how much more that of souls so good as the Sisters
who were there.

All took it much to heart, and with fasting, discipline, and
prayer they continually besought it of His Majesty: and so
He was pleased to do us this loving kindness. For when
Father Gracian went to the Brothers' monastery and saw so
much religion and such good arrangements for the service of
our Lord, and above all, knew it was the Order of His glorious
Mother, whom he so desired to serve, his heart began to be
moved not to return to the world. The devil set before him

T. F. 11

162 Chapter XXIII

plenty of difficulties, especially the distress it would be to his
parents, who loved him greatly, and who built their hopes
on his helping the fortunes of their children1: for they had
many sons and daughters. But he, leaving this charge to
God, for Whom he was giving up everything, determined to
become one of the Virgin's subjects and take her habit.
So they gave it him, to the great joy of all, especially the
nuns and Prioress, who gave great praises to our Lord,
deeming that it was through their prayers that God had done
them this favour.

He went through his year of probation with the humility
of the most insignificant novices. His virtue was specially
tried during a time when, the Prior being away, there was left
as Senior a very young and ignorant Brother, who had not
the least ability or sense for ruling : and as for experience, he
had none, because he had only entered the monastery a short
time before. The way he led them and the mortifications he
made them do were something quite excessive, so that when-
ever I think of it I wonder how they could stand it, particularly
people such as Fray Ger6nimo. He had need, to bear it, of the
enthusiasm which God gave him. And it has since been seen
that that Brother is afflicted with melancholia, and wherever
he has been there have been difficulties with him, even when
under obedience ; how much more when he had to rule ! For
his moods are master of him, although, he is a good monk.
And God sometimes permits such mistakes as that of putting
people like him in office, in order to perfect the virtue of
obedience in those whom He loves. So it must have been in

1 Considering that Gracian's father was secretary to Philip II and that
the king was very fond of him, he was by no means well off. Several of
his daughters, for want of money, had to enter convents which accepted,
them without dowry, as a charity.

Seville 163

this case. And by virtue of this trial, God has given Father
Fray Jerdnimo of the Mother of God the greatest light in
matters of obedience, to teach those who are under him, as
one who had such good practice in it at the beginning. And
in order that he might not lack experience in anything which
is needful for us, he had great temptations three months
before his Profession; but, like the good captain he was to
be of the Sons of the Virgin, he defended himself well against
them: and when the devil more strongly urged him to give
up the habit, he defended himself by promising not to give it
up and promising to make his vows. He gave me a certain
work1 which he had written during those great temptations,
which edified me greatly, and shews well what strength the
Lord gave him.

It may appear unsuitable that he should have communi-
cated to me so many particulars about his soul. It may be
that the Lord willed it in order that I might set it down here,
for praised be He in His creatures : for I know that he has
not opened himself so freely to his confessor nor to anyone
else. The reason why he sometimes did so was that he had
reason to think that, from my age and from what he had
heard of me, I must have some experience. A propos of
other things of which we happened to be speaking, he told
me these things and others which are not for writing down,
or I could say much more. I have indeed restrained myself
lest it might pain him if this ever came into his hands.

I have not been able to write more, nor have I thought it
necessary ; because this writing will not, if ever, be seen for a
long time ; and it will be long before the memory is forgotten
of one who has worked so well for the reformation of the

1 What this work was, is not known.

11—2

164 Chapter XXIII

primitive Rule. For, although he was not the first to begin
it, he came at the right moment; for sometimes I should have
been sorry that it had begun before if I had not such great
trust in God's mercy. I am speaking of the monks' Houses :
for the nuns' Houses, through His goodness, have always done
well up to the present. And those of the Brothers had not
done badly: only they carried in them seeds of quick decay;
because, as they had no separate Province, they were governed
by the unreformed Carmelites. To those who might have
governed — that is, Father Fray Antonio of Jesus, who began
the reform — was not given this power; no more had they
Constitutions given by our Most Reverend Father General.
In each House they did as seemed good to them. Until the
Constitutions came, or they were governed by the reformed
Order, there was continual trouble: for to some one thing
seemed good and to others another. It sometimes distressed
me sorely.

Our Lord set it right by the hand of Father Master Fray
Jer6nimo of the Mother of God: because he was made Apo-
stolic Commissary, and was given authority and rule over
the Discalced monks and nuns, and made Constitutions for
the Brothers. For we nuns had them already from our Most
Reverend Father General: so he did not make them for us,
but for them; through the Apostolic authority which he held,
and through the good abilities which, as I have said, the Lord had
given him. The first time he visited them he set everything
in such order and reasonable ways, that it plainly shewed him
to be aided by the Divine Majesty, and to have been chosen
by our Lady for the good of her Order. Of whom I earnestly
entreat that she would prevail with her Son to favour him
continually and give him grace to advance in His service.
Amen.

CHAPTER XXIV

Continuation of the Foundation at Seville.

WHEN, as I have said, Father Master Fray Jerdnimo
Gracian came to see me at Veas, we had never met, although
I had greatly desired it; sometimes written, however. It gave
me great pleasure when I heard he was there, for I greatly desired
to see him on account of the good which had been told me of
him. But very much more was I delighted when I began to
talk with him: for he pleased me so much that I felt as if
those who had extolled him to me had not really known him.
I had been so sorrowful ; but when I saw him it seemed as if
the Lord were making me see the good which was to come to
us by means of him. And so during those days I went
about in such exceeding joy and satisfaction that truly I my-
self was surprised at myself. At that time he only held a
commission for Andalusia; but while he was at Veas, the
Nuncio sent for him to see him, and then he gave it to him
for the Barefoot monks and nuns of the Province of Castille1.

1 [The circumstances were as follows. The battle between the
Observant Carmelites and the Keformed Descalzos had just begun.
Gracian was selected by the latter as the best man to lead them. Vargas,
the Dominican, had at the request of Philip II been appointed by the
Pope Apostolic Visitor of the Order in Andalusia with very wide
authority. He was in favour of reform and had transferred his powers
to Gracian late in 1573, whereby the latter secretly was invested with
authority over the Order in the Province even greater than that of the
General and the Provincial. As soon as this was discovered by the latter
they obtained from the new Pope Gregory XIII a revocation of Vargas'
powers (though the revocation was not made public at the time). The
reform party with the aid of Philip II obtained from the Nuncio,
Ormaneto, in the meanwhile a confirmation of Vargas' powers (22 Sept.
1574). So that when Gracian went to Veas in the spring of 1575, after
Lent, he was, by Apostolic authority and the transference of Vargas'

166 Chapter XXIV

My spirit was so full of joy that, during those days, I could
not give thanks enough to our Lord, nor did I want to do
anything else.

At that time the licence to found at Caravaca was brought

Commission, supreme in the Order in Andalusia ; and as such — and also
because of her admiration and affection for him — was the recipient of
Sta Teresa's obedience. He was summoned to Madrid by the Nuncio
whilst he was at Veas to take possession of the new brief that had been
made out for him investing him direct with the powers formerly held by
Vargas (April 1575). A month afterwards the General Chapter of the
Order by virtue of the Pope's revocation denounced Vargas' Commission,
and that held by his colleague Fernandez for Castile, and fulminated their
edicts against the reformers. The issue was thus joined. On the one
hand was the King, the Nuncio, Sta Teresa, Gracian, the Court and the
Beformers ; on the other the Pope, the General and Provincial of the
Carmelites and the old Observants. The next move (a disastrous one for
Gracian) was for the King and the Nuncio to invest Gracian with full
powers as "Visitor over the Descalzos Houses of Castile and Andalusia,
and Apostolic Commissary over the Observant Houses of Andalusia."
This was in the autumn of 1575. When Sta Teresa says that she was
brought under his obedience by reason of his Apostolic Commission for
Castile she meant that this was in regard of her foundations in Castile
(Avila, Salamanca, Valladolid, etc.) as she had already been under his
obedience in respect to her foundation in Veas, by reason of his Apostolic
Commission for Andalusia. Teresa, writing her Fundaciones some time
afterwards, rather confused matters. Gracian was summoned from Veas
by the Nuncio not primarily to be made Commissary for Castile : that
appointment was made some months afterwards as a retort to the action of
the Carmelite Chapter, but to receive the direct brief from the Nuncio
appointing him Visitor of Andalusia, in order that the Papal revocation
of the powers held by Vargas might in no case divest Gracian of his
authority there. Gracian thenceforward therefore held the authority by
a double tenure : i.e. by Vargas' transfer and by the direct brief of the
Nuncio. The authority over Castile was given to him four months later
for the reasons stated above.

It is curious that Sta Teresa herself did not know until a few months
before she saw Gracian that Veas was for ecclesiastical purposes in
Andalusia. She first learnt it from her Prioress at Valladolid, Maria
Bautista. MAKTIN HUME.]

Seville 167

me, but different from what was necessary for my purpose,
and so it had to be sent back to the Court again. For I had
written to the foundresses saying that in no wise could it be
founded unless permission were obtained for a certain parti-
cular thing which was here lacking ; so it had to go back to
the Court. I myself did not at all like waiting at Veas so
long, and I wanted to go back to Castille. But, as Father
Fray Jer6nimo was there, to whom that convent was already
subject, he being Commissary of all the Province of Castille1,
I could do nothing without his will ; so I communicated with
him. He thought that, once I was gone, the foundation at
Caravaca would drop through. Also that it would be greatly
to the service of God to found a convent at Seville : which
seemed to him very easy, because certain people had asked
him for it who were very well able to give a house at once ;
and the Archbishop of Seville was so much in favour of the
Order that he felt certain it would be doing him a great
pleasure. So it was agreed that the Prioress and nuns whom
I was taking for Caravaca should go to Seville.

For certain reasons I had always greatly resisted the foun-
dation of convents in Andalusia. (For when I went to Veas,
if I had known that it was in the Province of Andalusia, I
should never have gone : but the mistake was that, although
it is not in the country of Andalusia, but, I think, about four
or five leagues before that begins, it is in that [ecclesiastical]
Province.) Yet, when I found that that was the mind of
the Superior, I immediately fell in with it: for our Lord
gives me grace to think that they are right in every-
thing. Although I had settled to found elsewhere, and
although I had certain very serious reasons against going to

1 [A slip for Andalusia. Tr.]

168 Chapter XXIV

Seville, I began to prepare for the journey quickly, because
it was beginning to be very hot.

Father Gracian, the Apostolic Commissary, being sent for
by the Nuncio, went off by himself, and we to Seville with
my good escort, Father Julian of Avila and Antonio Gaytan
and a Barefoot Brother. We went well covered up in carts,
which was always our manner of travelling, and when we went
into the inn we took an apartment good or bad as there might
be, and a Sister took in at the door whatever we needed; for
not even those who travelled with us came in. We made such
haste that, although we did not travel on feast days, we got
to Seville on the Thursday before the Feast of the Blessed
Trinity, having endured the greatest heat on the journey.
For I can tell you, Sisters, that when the whole force of the
sun was beating down on the carts, going into them was like
going into a purgatory. What with sometimes thinking on
hell, at other times feeling that they were doing and suffering
something for God, the Sisters travelled very contentedly and
cheerfully : for six of those who went with me were souls such
that I think I could have ventured to go with them into the
land of the Turks and they would have had courage, or more
properly speaking, the Lord would have given it them to suffer
for Him. For such were their desires and their conversation,
well trained as they were in prayer and mortification. Because,
as they had to remain so far away, I had arranged that they
should be of those who seemed to me most fitted for the purpose.
And they needed it all, they had to go through such troubles:
some of which, and the greatest, I will not relate, because a
certain person might be concerned.

One day before Whitsuntide, God gave them a grievous
trouble, which was the giving me a very bad fever. I believe
that it was their crying to God which availed to arrest the

Seville 169

sickness : for never in my life have I had a fever of that kind
which did not go on to worse. It was of such a sort that
I seemed like one asleep, I was so light-headed. They took
to throwing water on my face, but so hot from the sun that it
gave but little refreshment. I will not omit to tell you what
a bad lodging we had in this extremity : that is, they gave us
a little room with an unceiled roof. It had no window ; and
if the door was opened, the full sun poured in. You must
remember that the sun there is not like the sun of Castille,
but much more harassing. They had me laid in a bed, but
I thought it better to lie on the floor, because the bed was so
uneven that I did not know how to lie in it, for it seemed to
be made of sharp stones. What a thing is sickness! for in
health everything is easy to bear. At last I thought it best
to get up and go on : for the sun seemed more bearable in the
open air than in that little room. What must it be for the
wretched people in hell, who can never make a change, for ever !
For although it be from hardship to hardship, a change seems
some alleviation. I have sometimes happened to have a severe
pain somewhere, and if I got one somewhere else, although
quite as painful, the change seemed an alleviation. So it was
in this case. It gave me no distress that I can remember to
find myself ill: the Sisters suffered much more than I did.
It pleased the Lord that the worst of it did not last more
than that day.

A little before that — it may have been two days — some-
thing else happened which put us in a little difficulty while
we were crossing the Guadalquivir in a ferryboat. At the
time when the carts crossed, it was not possible to go straight
across where the rope was, but slanting down the stream,
although the rope partly helped us, slanting it also. But
those who were holding it chanced to let it go, or somehow

170 Chapter XXIV

it happened that the ferryboat floated away with the cart
without rope or oars. Seeing the ferryman's distress I
minded very much more than the danger. We fell to
prayer, all aloud. There was a gentleman watching us
from a castle near at hand, and, moved with pity, he sent
someone to help us, while we still had the rope, and our
brethren were holding on to it with all their might ; but the
force of the current carried them all away, so that some of
them tumbled down. A son of the ferryman caused me such
edification that indeed I shall never forget it — he looked about
ten or eleven — he was so unhappy at seeing his father in trouble
that it made me give praise to our Lord. But as His Majesty
always tempers afflictions with mercy, so it was here; for the
boat happened to ground on a sandbank, and there was not
much water between it and the bank, and so all came right.
We should have had difficulty in finding our way out to the
road, for it was already dark, if the men from the castle had
not guided us. I did not mean to speak of these things, which
are of little importance, or I might have told of plenty of
misadventures by the way: I have been begged to narrate
this one at some length.

A far greater trouble to me than the above was what
befell us on the last day of Whitsuntide. We had made
great haste to arrive early at Cordova, so as to hear mass
without anyone's seeing us, and we were directed to a church
across the river, for greater retirement. When we came to
cross, we had no licence for carts to cross, for the mayor has
to give it: and more than two hours passed before it came,
because they were not up ; and many people kept coming to
find out who was travelling there. This we did not much mind,
because they could not ; for we travelled very closely shut in.
When at last the licence came, the carts could not get through

Seville . 171

the door of the bridge, and had to be cut smaller or something
in which more time was spent.

When at last we arrived at the church where Father
Julian of Avila was to say mass, it was full of people, because
it was the Feast of its dedication to the Holy Spirit, of which
we did not know ; and there was a great festival and a sermon.
When I saw this, I was greatly concerned ; and to my thinking
it would have been better to go away without hearing mass
than to go down into such a hurly-burly. Father Julian
thought not; and as he is a theologian, we Sisters all had
to bow to his judgement; for the rest of our escort perhaps
would have followed mine, which would have been very im-
proper : although I do not know that I should have trusted
my judgement alone. We alighted close to the church. And
although nobody could see our faces, for we always wore long
veils over them, it was enough to see us in them and the
white serge cloaks which we always wear, and sandals, to stir
them all up : and so it did. The shock of this it must have
been — for assuredly it was a severe one to me and to us all —
that quite drove away my fever.

As soon as we entered the church, a good man came up to
me to keep off the people. I earnestly begged him to take us
into some chapel. He did so, and locked it, and did not
leave us until we started again to get out of the church.
A few days after this he came to Seville, and he told a
Father of our Order that he thought God had done him a favour
on account of that good deed of his; for he had been given
a large property of which he had no expectation.

I can tell you, daughters, that although this may seem
nothing to you, it was for me one of the worst moments that
I have passed ; for the uproar among the people was as if bulls
had come into the church. So I was longing to get out of the

172 Chapter XXIV

place. Although there was no place near at hand wherein to
spend the festival, we kept it under a bridge1.

When we had arrived at Seville at a house which Father
Mariano had hired for us, for he had been told beforehand to
do so, I thought everything was accomplished. For, as I have
said, the Archbishop was greatly in favour of the Barefoot
Carmelites ; and he had sometimes written to me, shewing me
great affection. This did not suffice to shield me from much
trouble; for God so willed it. The Archbishop is much
against convents of nuns without endowment; and he has
good grounds for his view. That was the mischief — or
rather the good, that this work might be accomplished — for
if they had told him of it before I set out, I am certain he
would never have agreed to it. But the Father Commissary
and Father Mariano, being perfectly certain that my going
would give him the greatest satisfaction, and that they were
doing him the greatest service through my going, did not tell
him beforehand. And, as I say, it might have been a great
mistake, they thinking that they were right. For, in the rest
of the convents, the first thing which I sought to obtain was
the licence of the Ordinary, as the Holy Council2 [of Trent]
commands. In this case we not only took it as given, but, as
I say, thought we were doing him a great service, as indeed it
was, and he has since seen it. But it has been the Lord's
pleasure that no foundation should be made without much
trouble to me, some in one way, some in another.

Well, when we arrived at the house which, as I have said,
had been hired for us, I thought to take possession immediately,

1 And to get possession of even this they had to turn out some pigs, as
the Venerable Julian of Avila relates in his Life of the Saint.

2 The Council ordered that the Ordinary's leave was to be prlus
obtenta — obtained beforehand.

Seville 173

as we were used to do, in order to say the Divine Office. But
Father Mariano — for it was he who was on the spot — began
to put me off; for he did not like to tell me the whole truth,
not to distress me. But as his reasons were insufficient, I
saw what the difficulty was — that we had not got the licence.
Thus he told me he thought it had better be an endowed
convent, or other things of that kind ; I forget what. At
last he told me that the Archbishop did not like a convent
for nuns to be established by his leave, nor since he had been
Archbishop had he ever given leave for any. (He had been
many years there and at Cordova, and he is a great servant
of God1.) Particularly for a convent without endowment:
and he would not give it. This was as much as to say that
the convent would not be founded. For one thing, its being
in the city of Seville would have gone much against the grain
with me : because the places where I have founded endowed
Houses are little villages, where they must either be founded
in this way or not at all, because there is no means of sup-
porting them. For another thing, we had only one half-
penny left over from the cost of the journey, nor had we
brought any goods with us except the clothes we wore, and
some tunics and hoods, and what was necessary for travelling
hidden up and comfortably in the carts: and for the return
journey of those who had come with us we had to try to
borrow money. A friend of Antonio Gaytan's lent him this ;
and Father Mariano tried to borrow some for fitting up the
house; nor had we a house of our own. So it was an im-
possibility.

1 The Archbishop was the celebrated Don Cristobal de Eojas y
Sandoval, formerly Bishop of Oviedo and of Cordova. He was pro-
moted to Seville in 1571, and died in 1580. He was present at the
Council of Trent, and he was distinguished by his strictness in matters
of ecclesiastical order and discipline and his charity to the poor.

174 Chapter XXIV

It must have been for the aforesaid Fathers' great im-
portunity that the Archbishop allowed us to hear mass for
the Day of the Blessed Trinity, which was our first day
there. He sent to say that no bell was to be rung; nor even
put up, he said, unless it was put up already. In this way
we went on more than a fortnight ; and I know my mind
was, that if it had not been for the Father Commissary and
Father Mariano, I should have returned with my nuns to
Veas for the foundation of Caravaca, with small sorrow.
Much more did I endure during that time — as my memory
is bad, I do not remember how long it was, but I think over
a month. For the going away in the end would have been
worse to bear than going right away at once; because
people had heard about the convent. Father Mariano would
never let me write to the Archbishop, but little by little he
kept getting him to relent, being aided in this by letters from
the Father Commissary from Madrid.

One thing relieved me myself from much doubt : and that
was our having had mass said with his leave ; and we always
said the Divine Office in Choir. He did not omit to send
people to visit me, and to say that he would soon see me;
and it was one of his own servants he sent about saying the
first mass. Whence I saw clearly that all this served no
purpose but to keep me in distress; although my distress
was not for myself, nor for my nuns, but for the Father
Commissary's distress; for it was great, as it was he who
had commanded me to go: and it would have been very
great if any disaster had taken place, for which there were
abundant occasions.

During that time the Calced Fathers also came, to know
by what authority we were founding. I shewed them the
patents I had from our Most Reverend Father General; and
with this they were satisfied: but I think this would not

Seville 175

have sufficed, if they had known about the Archbishop. But
nobody thought of this; for everyone believed that it was
much to his liking and satisfaction. At last it pleased God
that he should come to see us ; and I told him what harm
he was doing us. In the end he said that what I wished
should be done, and as I wished: and from that time forward
he has always favoured us and done us kindnesses at every
opportunity.

CHAPTER XXV

Continues the account of the Foundation at Seville, and what
took place in moving into a house of the nuns' own.

NOBODY could have supposed that in so chief a city as
Seville, and with such rich inhabitants, there would be less
of the wherewithal for founding than in any other place where
I had been. So much less was there that I sometimes thought
it would be better for us not to have a convent in that town.
I do not know whether it is the climate of the country, but
I have always heard say that the devils have a freer hand to
tempt us there ; which must be given them by God : and thus
they set upon me, for I never in my life felt myself more
pusillanimous and cowardly than I found myself there; in-
deed I hardly recognized myself. The trust, indeed, which
I am accustomed to put in our Lord did not fail me; but my
natural self was so different from what I usually am since
I have been occupied in these matters, that I could see that
the Lord was partly withdrawing His hand, to remain in His
own Being, and that I might see that, if I had possessed
courage, it was not my own.

Well, we had been there from the time that I said until

176 Chapter XXV

a little before Lent, and there was not the slightest prospect
of buying a house: neither wherewithal; nor anyone who
would be surety for us, as elsewhere. For those who had said
so much to the Father, the Apostolic Visitor, about entering
the Order, and had begged him to bring nuns, must afterwards
have thought our strictness excessive, and more than they
could stand : and only one entered, as I shall presently tell.
It was already time to send for me to come from Andalusia,
because other affairs were presenting themselves here1. It
caused me the greatest distress to leave the nuns without
a house; although I saw very well that I was of no use there ;
for the favour which God shews me here, of having someone
to help me in these works, was not shewn me there.

It pleased God that at that moment there came from the
Indies one of my brothers, Lorencio de Cepeda, who had been
out there thirty-four years: and he took it to heart even
more than I that the nuns should remain without a house of
their own. He helped us a great deal, particularly in man-
aging to get the house in which they now are. I also at that
time urged it much more earnestly on our Lord, beseeching
Him not to let me go away without leaving them a house;
and I made the Sisters pray for it, and ask it of the glorious
St Joseph, and we made many processions and prayers to our
Lady. And what with this and with seeing my brother bent
on helping us, I began to negotiate about buying certain
houses. But when, it seemed, it was just going to be settled,
it was all unsettled again.

One day when I was in prayer, beseeching of God that,
since they were His spouses and so greatly desired to serve

1 [At Toledo. She had been ordered to leave Andalusia and to remain,
as she says, "as a sort of prisoner," in any convent she chose, in
Castille, until further orders. Tr.j

Seville 177

Him, He would give them a house, He said, Let me be;
I have heard thee. This left me well content, feeling I
had the house already. So it was. His Majesty saved us
from buying one with which everybody was satisfied because
it was in a good situation: but it was so old and so badly
arranged that we should have been buying nothing but the site,
and for little less money than the house which they now have.
And when it was already settled, and nothing to be done but
sign the papers, I was not at all satisfied, feeling that this did
not agree with the last words which I had heard in my prayer ;
because I thought those words meant that we were to be given
a good house. And so it proved; for the seller himself,
though he was to get a good price for it, made difficulties
about signing the papers, although he had promised to do so ;
and we were able, without any wrong-doing, to get out of the
agreement. This was a great mercy ; for they would not have
finished working at the house during the life time of the
Sisters who are there ; and they would have had a great deal
to do and little wherewithal.

This was greatly due to a servant of God who, almost
from the time we first got there, when he heard that we had
no mass, came every day to say it for us, although his house
was a long way off, and the sun tremendous. His name was
Garci Alvarez. He was a very good man, esteemed in the
city for his good works, which were the only thing he ever
occupied himself with : and if he had been well off, we should
have lacked nothing.

As he knew the house well, it seemed to him folly to give
so much for it, and so he kept telling us every day, until he
succeeded and there was no more talk of it. He and my
brother went to see the one in which the nuns now live.
They came back saying they liked it very much, and with

T. F. 12

178 Chapter XXV

good reason ; and our Lord desired it : and in two or three
days the papers were signed.

A good deal happened before we got into it : for the
tenant was not willing to quit: and the Franciscan friars1
living close at hand came at once to require us not on any
account to move into it. And if the deeds had not been
so securely made, I should have thanked God that they could
be annulled; for we found ourselves in peril of paying the price
of the house, six thousand ducats, without being able to go
into it. The Prioress2 would not have desired this, but rather
she thanked God that they could not be annulled : for His
Majesty gave to her much more faith and courage than to me,
in all that concerned that house. So indeed she has in every-
thing, for she is a great deal better than me.

We were more than a month in this hard case. At last it
pleased God that the Prioress and I and two other nuns went
in with great fear, one night, so that the friars should not know
of it until we had taken possession. The men who went with
us said that every shadow they saw they thought was a friar.
At daybreak, the good Garci Alvarez, who went with us, said
the first mass in it ; and so we were left without fear.

0 Jesus, what fears I have been through while taking posses-
sion ! I reflect that if such great dread is experienced in going
not to do harm, but in the service of God, what must it be
for those who go to do harm, against God and against their
neighbour. I cannot think what profit they can have or what
pleasure they can seek, with such a counterpoise.

1 The Canon law forbids the establishing of new monasteries close to
old ones, for very good reasons.

2 Maria de San Jos6 of Molina. She was a very able woman.
St Theresa had a very high opinion of her: and from this year onwards
she carried on a copious correspondence with her.

Seville 179

I had not even my brother there: for he had taken sanctuary,
on account of a certain mistake which had been made in the
papers, they having been drawn up in such haste, and the
convent stood to lose much by it : and as he was surety, they
sought to take him to prison; and as he was not a native of
the place, it would have given us a great deal of trouble. And
so it did even as it was : for he was in difficulties until he had
given them a property on which they took security. After-
wards the business went on smoothly : although there was some
time wasted in the legal proceedings, that I might have more
troubles.

We were enclosed in some rooms on the ground floor : and
he spent all the day there with the workmen, and he gave us
our food, and so indeed he had done for some time : because,
since everyone did not know that it was a convent, as we were
in a private house, there was but little alms, except from a
saintly old man, a great servant of God, who was Prior of
the Carthusian monastery of Las Cuevas. He was one of the
Pantojas of Avila. God put into his heart a great affection for
us from the time we went there; and I believe he will go on
doing us good in every possible way so long as his life lasts.
Because it is right, my daughters, that you should commend
to God anyone who has so greatly helped us, if you should
read this, be they living or dead, I set it down here. We owe
much to that saintly man.

This went on, I think, more than a month: but my
memory is bad in the matter of time, so I may be wrong :
always understand that it may be a little more or less ; for it
is of no importance. During this month my brother worked
hard in making a chapel out of some rooms, and in so fitting
it all up that after he had finished we had nothing more to do.
I wanted to have the Blessed Sacrament reserved very quietly,

12—2

180 Chapter XXV

because I do not at all like giving trouble when it can be
helped; and so I told Father Garci Alvarez. He talked it
over with the Prior of Las Cuevas, — for they were quite as
anxious about our affairs as if they had been their own ; and
they thought that this could not be allowed, but that it must
be done solemnly, in order that the convent might become
known in Seville. So they went to the Archbishop. Between
them all they agreed that the Blessed Sacrament should be
brought from a parish church with great solemnity; and
the Archbishop ordered the clergy to take part in it, and
some Confraternities, and the streets to be decorated.

The good Garci Alvarez decorated our cloister, which, as
I have said, served at that time as a passage, and the chapel
most elaborately, with very fine altars and devices. Among
them was a fountain of orange-flower-water. This he made
without our seeking or even liking it, although afterwards we
were much edified. And we were rejoiced to see our festival
ordered with such solemnity, and the streets so decorated and
so many instruments of music and minstrels that the saintly
Prior of Las Cuevas told me that he had never seen the like at
Seville; and it was clearly seen to be the work of God. He
himself went in the procession, contrary to his custom1. The
Archbishop set the Blessed Sacrament in its place. You see
here, my daughters, the poor Barefoot Carmelites honoured
by everyone, when a little time before it would have seemed
there was not even water for them — although there is plenty
in that river. It was quite extraordinary, the number of
people who came.

One thing happened which all who saw it say is worth
noting. Although there had been so many salvoes of artillery

1 Carthusians, being bound to a solitary and retired life, do not take
part in processions.

Seville 181

and rockets, yet after the procession was over, which was about
dusk, it came into their heads to let off more, or somehow it
happened that a little powder took fire — and they think it a
great wonder that it did not kill the man who was holding it.
A great flame rose up to the roof of the cloister, the arches of
which were covered with silks, which they thought must have
been burnt to ashes ; but though they were yellow and crim-
son, it did them no damage whatever. And the wonderful
thing which I have to tell you is that the stone of the arches,
underneath the silk, was blackened by the smoke, while the
silk which was over it was just as if the fire had not been near
it. Everyone was astonished when they saw it : and the nuns
thanked the Lord, for we had no money to pay for more silk.
The devil must have been so enraged at the solemn festival which
had taken place, and at seeing another house of God, that he
must have wanted to revenge himself somehow ; but His
Majesty did not give place to him. May He be blessed for
ever and ever ! Amen.

CHAPTER XXVI

Continues the account of the Foundation at Seville. Of the first
nun who joined the Convent, and of her remarkable history.

You may well imagine, my daughters, the joy we felt that
day. My own, I can tell you, was very great, especially in
seeing that I was leaving the Sisters in so good a house in so
good a situation, and that the monastery was known; and
that there were nuns in the house who had money enough to
pay the greater part of the price of the house, so that with
those who should be received to make up the number1, if they

1 [i.e., thirteen. Tr.]

182 Chapter XXVI

brought in only a little, they would be left free of debt. And
above all, it cheered me to have enjoyed the fruit of our
labours. But, when I ought to have taken some rest, I went
off. For this festival was the Sunday before Whitsunday,
1576, and I started immediately on the following Monday,
because the heat was becoming great, and in order, if possible,
not to travel at Whitsuntide, but to spend it at Malagon ; for
I had desired to stay there some day: and therefore I hastened
my movements. I should have liked to hear mass once in the
chapel, but this was not the Lord's will.

The Sisters' joy was tempered by my departure; for they
felt it much, as we had been together that year and gone
through so many troubles. As I have said, the worst troubles
I do not set down here. For I think (except the foundation
at Avila, for with that there is no comparison) that no
foundation has cost me so much as this one, because my
trials were mostly interior. May it please the Divine Majesty
that He may always be served therein, for then the troubles
are as nothing. And so I hope He will be ; for His Majesty
began to draw good souls to that house: and about those
who remained there of the nuns whom I took with me,
which was five, I have already told you what can be told
— which is the least part — of how good they were.

Of the first who entered there I wish to speak, because it
will give you pleasure. She is a girl who was the daughter
of very good Christian parents. Her father came from the
mountains. When she was very young, about seven, an aunt
of her's who was childless begged her of her mother to live
with her. She took her home, and made much of her, shewing
her all due affection. Some of her women must have been
in hopes that she would leave them her property ; and it was
clear that, if she cared for the child, she would wish it rather

Seville 183

to go to her. So they agreed to avert that contingency by
a devil's deed. They accused the child of wishing to kill her
aunt: and said that for this purpose she had given one of
them I do not know how many maravedis to get her some
corrosive sublimate. When they told the aunt, as they all
three said the same thing, she at once believed them: and
so did the child's mother, who is a most virtuous woman.
She took the child and brought her home, thinking she
was bringing up a girl who would be a very wicked woman.
Beatrice of the Mother of God — for that is her name — told
me that every day for more than a year she beat and punished
her, and made her sleep on the floor, to make her confess such
a great sin. As the little girl said she had not done it, and
did not know what corrosive sublimate was, she thought
much worse of her, seeing her obstinate enough to deny it.
The poor woman was miserable at seeing her so stubborn in
denying it, thinking that she could never amend. It was a
wonder that the little girl did not accuse herself in order to
escape such torments ; but as she was innocent, God enabled
her always to speak the truth. And as His Majesty always
protects those who are not to blame, He sent two of these
women such a grievous sickness that it seemed as if they had
raging madness. They sent secretly for the little girl to come
to her aunt, and begged her pardon; and, seeing themselves at
the point of death, they retracted their charge : and the third,
who died in childbirth, did the same. Finally all three died
in torments, in requital of what they had made that innocent
child suffer. This I have heard not only from herself: for her
mother, when she saw her a nun, being distressed to think of
all her illtreatment of her, told it me together with other
things — for great were the girl's sufferings. Though she was
a very good Christian, God permitted her, knowing no better,

184 Chapter XXVI

to be so cruel to her daughter, though she greatly loved her.
She is a very truthful and religious woman.

When the child was perhaps just over twelve, she con-
ceived a great devotion towards the Saints of Mount Carmel,
from reading a book about the life of St Anne : for it says there
that St Anne's mother (I think her name was Merenciana)
often went to speak with them ; and hence she conceived such
a great devotion to the Order of our Lady that she immedi-
ately vowed chastity and to be a nun in that Order. She
observed many times of solitude and prayer, when she could.
God gave her great graces in her prayer, and so did our Lady,
and very special ones. She would have liked to become a nun
without delay, but dared not because of her parents : no more
did she know where to find this Order; for it was a curious
thing that, though there was at Seville a convent of the
Mitigated Rule, she never knew of it until she heard of our
convents, which was many years later.

When she came to the age for marrying her, her parents
arranged a marriage for her, though she was full young for
her age ; but she was the only child they had. (For though
they had had others, they all had died ; and this one, who was
the least beloved, remained to them. For when there befell
her what I have narrated, she had one brother living, who took
her part and said they ought not to believe it.) They had
already completely arranged the marriage, never thinking that
she would do anything else : and when they came to tell her,
she told them of the vow she had made not to marry, and
that she would not do it for anything they could do to her, not
if they killed her.

The devil blinded them, or God permitted it, that she
might suffer as a martyr, but they thought she must have
misbehaved herself in some way, and therefore was unwilling

Seville 185

to marry. And as they had already given their word, and
they felt what an affront it was to the other party, they gave
her so many beatings and inflicted such tortures, even to
hanging her up and throttling her, that it was only a chance
they did not kill her. God Who had need of her for other
things preserved her life. She told me that towards the end
she hardly felt anything, because she called to mind what
St Agnes had suffered, for the Lord brought it to her memory,
and it was a happiness to her to suffer something for Him,
and she kept offering it up to Him. They thought she would
die ; for she was three months in bed, unable to move.

It seems a very strange thing how her parents could have
thought such evil of a girl who never left her mother's
side, and whose father, as I heard, lived very quietly. For
she was always religious and virtuous, and so charitable
that she gave away everything she could get. If our Lord
wills to bestow the favour of suffering on any one, His means
are many. However, for some years God had kept shewing
them the virtues of their daughter, so that they gave her what-
ever she wanted to give in alms; and their persecutions were
turned into kindnesses. Nevertheless, all was wearisome to
her, for the mind she had to be a nun: and so, as she told
me, she lived dissatisfied and sad.

Thirteen or fourteen years before Father Gracian went to
Seville, when there was no thought of Barefoot Carmelites, some-
thing happened. She was with her father and mother and two
other neighbours, and a Brother of our Order, habited in serge,
as they now are, and barefoot, entered the room. They say his
countenance was ruddy and venerable, but he was so ancient that
his long beard was like threads of silver1. He placed himself
close to her, and began to say a few words in a language which
neither she nor anyone else understood; and, when he had done
1 Thus the Prophet Elijah was usually represented.

186 Chapter XXVI

speaking, he made the sign of the cross over her thrice, saying,
' * Beatriz, God mak e thee strong, "and departed . Nobody stirred
while he was there, but were as in a maze. Then her father
asked her who it was. She supposed that her father knew
him. In great haste they arose to seek for him, but he was
seen no more. She was left greatly comforted, and all were
amazed : for they saw that the thing was from God : and so
they began, as I have said, to think great things of her.
After this, all those years went by, I think fourteen, in which
she continued steadfast in serving our Lord and praying that
He would accomplish her desire.

She was in great sadness, when Father Master Fray Ger6nimo
Gracian went to Seville. One day she went to hear a sermon
at a church at Triana, where her father lived, not knowing who
would be the preacher. It was the Father Master Gracian.
She saw him come out to receive the benediction : and when she
saw the habit and the bare feet, at once it recalled the monk
whom she had seen ; for the habit was the same, though the
countenance and the age were different, for Father Gracian was
not yet thirty. She told me that she almost fainted with the
excess of joy. For though she had heard that a monastery
had been founded at Triana, she did not know that it was of
the Carmelite Order.

From that day she set to work at once to get Father
Gracian to hear her Confessions : and it pleased God that this
also should cost her much ; for she went about a dozen times,
more or less, and he would never hear her. She was young
and good looking, for she was not then seven and twenty;
and he, being very reserved, kept off from any communi-
cations with people like her. At last one day when she was
in the church crying — for she too was very shy — a woman
asked her what was the matter, and she said that for so long
she had been wanting to speak to the Father who was then

Seville 187

•

hearing Confessions, and could not tell how. The woman
took her to him and begged that he would hear this girl.
And so he came to be her ordinary confessor. When he saw a
soul so richly endowed, he was glad ; and he comforted her by
telling her that possibly Barefoot nuns might be coming there,
and he would see that they received her at once. And so it
was : for the first thing he bade me was that she should be the
first we received, for he was satisfied with the state of her soul;
and so he told her.

When we went there, she made a great point of her
parents' not hearing of it, because if they did, she would not
succeed in coming to us. And so on that very day, Trinity
Sunday, she left the women who went with her (for her mother
did not go to Confession with her, and it was a long way to
the Barefoot monastery, where she always went to Confession,
and gave away much in alms, and her parents through her).
She had arranged with a lady, a great servant of God, to fetch
her to us. This lady was well known in Seville as a servant
of God, occupied in good works. So the women who went
with her let her go, on her saying that she would soon come
back. She took her habit and her serge cloak, so heavy that I
do not know how she could move ; but it was nothing to her
for the joy she felt. Her only fear was lest it might be
noticed how loaded she was, and she might be stopped : for it
was very different from her usual way of going about. What
will not the love of God effect ! And since she already had
given up human respect1 nor thought of anything but the fear

1 [Honra. Often wrongly translated honour, whereby St Theresa has
been made to teach that religion and honour are opposed. Honour, as
an inner principle, is honor. There is the same sort of distinction
between our English honour, the inward, and honours, the outward
dignity. Tr.]

188 Chapter XXVI

lest her desire should be baulked, we opened the door to her
without delay. I sent to tell her mother. She came as one
beside herself, but she said that she already saw what a
favour God was doing to her daughter. And, although
sorrowfully, she accepted it without taking to extreme courses
such as refusing to speak to her daughter, as some others do :
on the contrary she continually gave us large alms. The
spouse of Jesus Christ began to enjoy the fruition of her
great desire. She was so lowly and such a lover of work that
we had enough ado to get the broom away from her : though
she had been so waited upon at home, all her pleasure was
in hard work. Her happiness quickly made her grow much
fatter ; and her father thought a great deal of this, so that her
parents soon were pleased at her being with us.

That she might not have such complete rejoicing without
sufferings, some two or three months before the time for her
Profession, she experienced great temptations : not that she
determined to give up her Profession, but it seemed to her a
very dreadful thing. All the years of her suffering for the
sake of what she now enjoyed were forgotten : the devil so
fiercely beset her that she could do nothing with herself ; but
in spite of all, doing the greatest violence to herself, she so
overcame him that in the midst of the storm she covenanted
to be professed. Three days before her Profession, our Lord,
Who must have been only waiting to prove her constancy the
more, visited her and put the devil to flight and comforted
her very specially. This left her so happy that those three
days she seemed beside herself with joy, and with great
cause, for it was a great mercy. Not many days after
her Profession, her father died, and her mother took the
habit in the same convent, and bestowed on it everything
she possessed : and mother and daughter are living in the

Caravaca 189

greatest happiness, to the edification of all the nuns, and
serving Him Who had shewn them such great mercy. Before
another year had gone by, another girl also came, greatly
against the will of her parents. And thus the Lord keeps
peopling His house with souls so desirous of pleasing Him
that no rigour nor enclosure puts them from it. May He be
for ever blessed and praised for ever. Amen.

CHAPTER XXVII

Of the Foundation at Caravaca, on the first of January 1576.
The Convent was dedicated to St Joseph.

WHEN I was at St Joseph's of Avila, prepared to start for
the foundation at Veas of which I have spoken, and ready all
but putting on the clothes we were going in, there arrived a
special messenger, sent by a lady of Caravaca named Dona
Catalina1 because there had come to her house, after a sermon
they had heard preached by a Father of the Company of Jesus,
three young ladies, resolved not to leave the house until a
convent should be founded in the town. It must have been
arranged beforehand between them and the lady, for she it
was who helped them towards the foundation. They were
daughters of the foremost gentlemen of the town. The father
of one of them was Rodrigo de Moya2, a very great servant of
God, and of excellent judgement. Between them all they had
enough money to attempt such an undertaking. They had

1 In St Theresa's MS. there is a blank left for the surname [de
Otalora], which she could not remember.

2 His daughter's name (for daughters did not always bear the same
name as their father) was Francisca de Cuellar, afterwards Sister
Francisca of the Cross.

190 Chapter XXVII

heard of the work which our Lord was doing in the founding
of our convents, for they had been told by Fathers of the
Company of Jesus, who always have helped and furthered it.

When I saw the fervent desire of these souls, and that
they were coming from so far to seek the Order of our Lady, it
stirred me and made me wish to further their good intention.
And hearing that Caravaca was near Veas, I took with me
more nuns than I had been about to take, intending to go on
there, when the foundation of Veas was accomplished ; for,
from the letters, I thought this other foundation could not
fail to be arranged.

But as the Lord had appointed otherwise, my plans were
of little avail, as I have said in my account of the foundation
at Seville : for when the licence of the Council of Orders was
brought, it was so made out that, although I had already
settled to go, I did not. It is true that when, at Veas, I found
out where Caravaca was : and found that it was so out of the
way and such a bad road from one place to the other that
those who had to visit the nuns would have trouble in doing
so, and that the superiors would not be best pleased, I felt
very little inclination to go and found there. But, as I had
given them good hopes of it, I begged Father Julian of Avila
and Antonio Gaytan to go there and see how matters stood,
and to break it off, if they thought fit.

They found the affair very lukewarm, not on the part of
the intending nuns, but on that of Dona Catalina, on whom
the whole thing turned. She was keeping them in an apart-
ment by themselves as being already enclosed.

The nuns were so resolute — I mean those who purposed to
be nuns — and knew so well how to gain over Father Julian of
Avila and Antonio Gaytan, that before they came away they
left the papers signed, and came away leaving the nuns well

Caravaca 191

contented : and they came back so full of the country and of
the nuns and of the mishaps of their journey l that they could
not stop talking about it.

When I saw that it was already settled, but the licence
was long in coming, I sent the good Antonio Gaytan back
again ; and he took all this trouble with a very good will, out
of affection for me. Besides, those two had a mind that the
convent should be founded : for indeed, it is they who are to
be thanked for this foundation ; for if they had not gone and
arranged for it, I should not have cared to make it. I told
him to go and put up a turn2 and gratings wherever they were
going to take possession ; and that the nuns should stay there
until a suitable house could be found. So he stayed there
some time : and Rodrigo Moya, who, as I have said, was the
father of one of the girls, gave them part of his own house.
And Antonio Gaytan stayed there some time arranging this
with a very good will.

When they brought the licence and I was upon the point
of starting, I found that the licence provided that the house
should be subject to the Knights Commanders, and the nuns
be under their obedience : a thing which was not in my power
to do, since it was to be a house of the Order of our Lady of
Carmel. So they went back to petition afresh for a licence: for
otherwise there was no means of having a house either there or
at Veas. But the King was so gracious to me that, on my writing
to him, he ordered the licence to be given. For the King, who

1 In his Life of St Theresa, Father Julian of Avila describes at great
length their misfortunes on the journey. Their guide was drunk, and
Father Julian tried to instruct him in Christian doctrine, which muddled
him the more, and he led them wrong.

2 [Torno. A revolving shutter with a floor on which things could be
placed and conveyed from without to within and within to without,
while those who thus delivered them could not see each other. Tr.]

192 Chapter XXVII

is Don Felipe, takes pleasure in doing benefits to members of
Religious Orders, and understands that they ought to keep
their Rule ; and as he had heard of the customs of our
monasteries and that they kept the primitive Rule, he has
shewn us favour in every matter. Therefore, daughters, I
earnestly beseech you always to make special supplications
for his Majesty, as we do now.

Well, as they had to go back again for the licence, I started
for Seville by command of the Father Provincial, who, as I
have said, was then and still is Father Master Fray Jer<5nimo
Gracian of the Mother of God. And there were the poor
damsels shut up until the New Year's Day following : and it
was February when they sent to Avila. Shortly after my
departure the licence came : but I was so far away and with so
much to do, that I could not help them. I was very sorry for
them : for they often wrote to me mournfully ; and so at last
I could not bear to make them wait longer. Since it was
impossible for me to go, being so far away, and the foundation
at Seville not being completed, Father Master Fray Jer<5nimo
Gracian, who, as I have said, was the Apostolic Visitor, agreed
that, although I could not go, the nuns should go who
were destined for that foundation, and had been staying at
St Joseph's at Malagon.

I had arranged that one should be prioress whom I could
trust to do very well, for she is much better than me ; and
they started, taking every precaution, with two of our Discalced
Fathers : for Father Julian of Avila and Antonio Gaytan had
returned to their own places some time ago; and I did not
want them to go, because it was so far and such a bad time of
year, being the end of December.

When the nuns arrived, they were received with great joy
by the people, especially by the girls who were shut up. They

Caravaca 193

founded the Convent, bringing in the Blessed Sacrament, on the
Day of the Name of Jesus1, 1576. Two of the girls took the
habit immediately. The other had a very melancholic tem-
perament, and it must have been bad for her to be shut up at
all, how much more in such great strictness and austerity.
She agreed to go home again with a sister of hers.

Consider, my daughters, the judgements of God, and under
what obligation we are to serve Him, when He has allowed us
to persevere up to our Profession and to remain ever in the
house of God and as daughters of. the Virgin. For His
Majesty made use of this girl's good will and of her wealth ;
and just at the moment when she should have entered into the
enjoyment of what she had so greatly desired, her courage
failed her and she was overcome by her natural disposition-
on which, daughters, we often put the fault of our failings and
ficklenesses. May it please His Majesty to grant us the
abundance of His grace : for with this, there will be nothing
which can hinder our steps in advancing continually in His
service. And may He defend us all and be favourable to us,
lest through our weakness might be wasted a beginning so
great as He has been pleased should be initiated by such a
poor sort of women as we. In His Name I entreat you, my
sisters and daughters, always to entreat this of our Lord ; and
so let each do of those who come hereafter, for each is making a
new beginning of keeping this primitive Rule of the Order of our
Lady the Virgin : and in no wise consent to any relaxation.
Consider that by very small things the door is opened to very
great ones, and that, without your observing it, the world will
be coming in upon you.

Call to mind in what poverty and trouble has been estab-
lished that which you now enjoy at your ease. And if you take

1 [The Circumcision. Tr.]
T. F. 13

194 Chapter XXVII

notice, you will see that most of these houses have been
founded, not so much by man as by the mighty hand of God :
and that His Majesty takes pleasure in carrying forward His
own works, if they are not hindered by us. Whence think
you that an insignificant woman like me could have had power
to do such great works, being under obedience and without so
much as a maravedi or any one who could help me with any-
thing ? (For that brother of mine who helped in the foundation
at Seville, having some money and a good heart and a mind
to give some help, was in the Indies.) Behold, behold, my
daughters, the hand of God. And then the favour shewn me
has not been on account of illustrious birth : in every way,
however you please to look at it, you will see that it is His
work. It is not right that we should in any way lower it, even
if it cost us our life, esteem, or peace. How much more when
here we possess all these together ! For life is to live in such
wise that neither death is feared nor any chances of this life,
and to abide in the habitual joy which now is common to you
all, and a prosperity than which none can be greater, which is,
to desire poverty instead of fearing it. Then what can be
compared to the inward and outward peace in which you live?
In your own- hands it is to live and die in it, as you see those
nuns die whom we have seen dying in these houses. Where-
fore if you always pray to God to further the work and in no
wise trust in yourselves, He will not deny you His mercy, if
you have confidence in Him, and courageous souls : for His
Majesty loveth such.

Fear not that you will lack anything. If you are satisfied
with the motives and abilities of those who come to be nuns,
and that they are coming not for their own advantage, but in
order to serve God more perfectly, and if they are endowed
with virtues, never hold back from receiving them because they

Caravaca 195

are not endowed with this world's goods. For from some
other quarter God will send you double what you would have
received from them. I have great experience in this. Well
does His Majesty know that, so far as I can remember, I have
never held back from receiving anyone for want of money, if
otherwise I was satisfied with her. Witness the many who
have been received for God's sake alone, as you know. And
I can assure you that it has not given me so much pleasure
when I have received one who has brought in much as when I
have taken them for God's sake alone : on the contrary, I have
been in fear about those ; but the poor ones have cheered my
heart, and it has given me a rejoicing so great that it has
made me weep with joy. This is the truth. And then if
when the houses had to be bought or built, God helped us
even to do this, how should He not afterwards do so, giving
us the means of living in them ? Believe me, daughters, that
whereby you might think to gain, you would lose. When one
who comes has money, not having other obligations, as of
giving it away to others, because there happens to be no one
who needs it, it is well that she should give it you as alms,
and I confess that I should think it lack of affection if she did
not. But always see that one who enters the convent acts
according to the advice of learned men, telling her what will
be to the greater service of God : for it would be quite wrong
that we should accept the property of anyone who entered, if
she did not come for that end. We gain much more by her
doing her duty towards God — I mean, doing it more perfectly,
than by whatever she might bring in ; since we all seek nothing,
and may God never give us the opportunity of seeking any-
thing but that His Majesty's will may be done in all and
through all.

And although I am wretched and bad, yet for God's

13—2

196 Chapter XXVII

honour and glory I say it, and that you may take pleasure
in thinking of how these houses were founded — that never
in my dealings about them nor in any matter concerning
them which presented itself, even if I expected not to succeed
at all unless I deviated somewhat from my principle — never
would I, nor have I done anything whatsoever (I mean to say
in these foundations) which I understood to deviate by one
point from the Lord's will, as I understood it from my
confessors, (who, ever since I have been engaged in this,
have been, as you know, very learned and servants of God) :
nor that I can remember did it ever come into my mind to do
otherwise. Perhaps I am deceiving myself : and I may have
done many things which I am not aware of, and my failures
doubtless are beyond number. This is known to our Lord, for
He is the true judge : I speak of myself so far as I have been
able to see. And moreover I see very well that this did not
spring from myself, but of God's desiring that this work should
be done ; and as being His undertaking He was favourable to
me and shewed me this mercy. And I say it, daughters, for
this purpose — that you may understand your greater obligation,
and may know that up to the present these things have been
done without doing any wrong to anyone1. Blessed be He
Who has done it all, and has aroused the charity of the people
who have helped us ! May it please His Majesty ever to
protect us and give us grace, that we may not be ungrateful
for so many and great mercies ! Amen.

You have already seen, daughters, that some troubles have
been gone through, although I think I have only written down

1 [It may be worth reminding ourselves that current morality in
Spain in the 16th century differed considerably from ours now. And, as
St Theresa says above, in doubtful matters she left decisions to whatever
" learned servant of God," secular, Jesuit, Dominican, or Carmelite,
happened to be her confessor at the time. Tr.]

Caravaca 197

the smallest part of them : for if they had to be narrated in
detail, it would be a great labour, both the journeys as well as
the floods and snow and losing the way, and above all my often
being so unwell. Something once befell me — I do not know
whether I have mentioned it1 — in the first day's journey when
we set out from Malagon to Veas. I had fever and so many
sicknesses all together that, considering the long distance I
had to go and seeing myself so ill, it seemed to remind me of
our father Elijah when he was fleeing from Jezebel, and I said,
Lord, consider ; how can I possibly bear this ? And true it is
then when His Majesty saw me so weak, suddenly He took
from me the fever and the sickness ; so much so that until
later when I understood it, I thought it must have been
because a servant of God, an ecclesiastic, had entered the
place : and perhaps it was that ; anyhow He took away from
me both the outward and inward ills.

In time of health, I went through the bodily labours cheer-
fully. Then again, it was no little difficulty to accommodate
oneself to the dispositions of many people, which had to be
done in every place. And I can tell you that, loving my
daughters so dearly, it has not been my smallest cross to have
to quit them when I went away from one place to another :
especially when I thought that I should not return to see them,
and I saw their great emotion and weeping : for though they
are detached from other things, this detachment God has
not given them, may be in order to give me the keener pain.
For no more am I detached from them, although I used to find
fault with them and put all the force I could on myself not to
shew it : but little did it avail me ; for the love we bear each
other is great, and by many proofs can well be seen to be
sincere.

1 It is not mentioned in eh. xxii, where it belongs. This shews how
rapidly and simply St Theresa wrote : for she did not revise her writing.

198 Chapter XXVII

You have also heard how it was not only with the leave of
our Most Reverend Father General but under his instructions
or command subsequently laid down that these foundations
were made : and not only this, but on the foundation of each
house he wrote to me that it gave him the greatest satisfaction
that such and such a house was founded. And certainly my
greatest comfort in these labours was to see the satisfaction it
gave him, because I thought that our Lord must be pleased
with this, he being my Superior : and I greatly love him, into
the bargain.

Whether His Majesty was pleased to give me some repose,
or whether the devil was annoyed at so many houses being
founded in which our Lord was served. — It could very well be
seen not to have been by the wish of our Father General : for
when I had besought him, and that, not many years before,
not to order me to found any more houses, he had written to
me refusing, because, he said, he wished me to found as many
as I had hairs on my head. — But before I came away from
Seville, there was brought me from a General Chapter which
had been held, where one would have thought that what had
brought credit to the Order would have been reckoned a
service — there was brought me an order made in Chapter, not
only that I was to make no more foundations, but also that I
was by no means to quit the house which I might choose to
live in. Which was a kind of imprisonment : for there are no
nuns whom the Provincial cannot order to go from one place
to another — I mean from one convent to another, for reasons
expedient for the good of the Order. But the worst, and the
thing which distressed me, was that our Father General was
displeased with me, entirely without cause, but on the reports
of prejudiced people. Together with this I was told of two
other matters, two very serious accusations which were brought
against me.

Caravaca 199

I tell you, sisters, that you may see the mercy of our Lord,
and how His Majesty does not forsake those who desire to serve
Him, that this not only did not give me pain, but a joy so
unexpected that I could not contain myself ; so that I do not
wonder at what King David did when he went before the ark
of the Lord, for I at that time should have liked to do nothing
less, for joy ; for I did not know how to keep it in. I do not
know why this was ; for in great obloquy and opposition in
which I have found myself at other times, it has not been so.
Moreover, at least one1 of the accusations they brought against
me was most serious. As for the making no more foundations,
if it had not been for the displeasure of the Most Reverend
General, it would have been great peace for me, and a thing
which I often desired, to end my days in quiet : although
those who brought this about did not think this, but imagined
that they were causing me the greatest distress in the world.
And perhaps they had other good intentions.

At other times also I have received pleasure from the great
oppositions and gainsayings which I have met with in going
to make foundations, some with a good intention, some with
other aims. But such great gladness as I felt in this, I never
remember to have felt in any other trouble that has come
upon me : for I confess that, at some other time, any one of
the three things which came upon me all together would have
been trouble enough for me. I believe my chief joy was
in thinking that, since creatures rewarded me thus, the
Creator was pleased with me. For I do understand that
anyone who finds his happiness in earthly things or the
sayings and praises of men is greatly deceived, let alone the

1 One was the manner of her return journey from Seville. Her
brother Lorenzo took her, and the comfort and state in which he
caused her to travel was made a reproach against her. [She was also
accused of heresy. Tr.]

200 Chapter XXVII

little profit there is in them : to-day they think one thing,
to-morrow another ; what they speak well of at one time, they
quickly change and speak evil of. Blessed be Thou, my God
and Lord, Who art for ever immutable ! Amen. He who will
serve Thee to the end shall live without end in Thine eternity.

As I said at the beginning, I began to write the account of
these foundations by order of the Father Master Ripalda of the
Company of Jesus, who was at that time Rector of the College
at Salamanca and heard my Confessions. While I was in the
Convent of the glorious St Joseph at Salamanca, I wrote some
of them. Then with my many occupations I had let it drop,
and did not want to go on with it : because, being away in
different places, I was no longer making my Confessions to
Father Ripalda, and also because of the great toil and trouble
which what I have written costs me ; although I consider that
well bestowed, as it has always been commanded me under
obedience. When I had quite determined not to go on,
Master Fray Ger6nimo Gracian of the Mother of God, who
is at this present time Father Apostolic Commissary, ordered
me to finish them.

I told him how little leisure I had, and other things which
came into my mind to say — for I spoke as one shockingly poor
in obedience : because this writing fatigued me greatly on the
top of other things which I had to do. For all that, he told
me to finish them little by little, or as best I could. So I have
done it, submitting it entirely to those who are of under-
standing, that they may cross out what is wrongly said. For
it may be that what seems to me the best may be wrong. I
have finished to-day, the Eve of Saint Eugenius, the fourteenth
of November, 1576, in the Convent of St Joseph at Toledo,
where I now am living by order of Master Fray Ger<5nimo

Villanueva de la Jara 201

Gracian of the Mother of God, Father Apostolic Commissary,
whom we now have as Superior of the Barefoot monks and
nuns of the primitive Rule, being also Visitor of the monks of
the mitigated Rule in Andalusia, to the glory and honour of
our Lord Jesus Christ, who reigns and shall reign for ever.
Amen.

For the love of the Lord I beseech the Brothers and
Sisters who shall read this to commend me to our Lord, that
He may have mercy on me and deliver me from the torments
of purgatory, and may permit me to enjoy Him, if I may
attain to dwell in Him : that, since during my lifetime you
are not to see this, after my death I may in some way profit
by the toil this has given me, and by my great desire in
writing it to succeed in saying something which may help you,
if it is thought fit that you should read it.

CHAPTER XXVIII

JESUS
The Foundation of Villanueva de la Jara1.

WHEN the foundation at Seville was completed, the
foundations ceased for more than four years. The reason was
that great persecutions arose all of a sudden against the
Discalced monks and nuns. For although there had been
plenty of such before, they were not so severe as now, when
they almost made an end of us. It shewed very plainly what
the devil felt about this holy beginning which our Lord had
initiated ; and also that it was His work, since it did continue.
The Barefoot Brothers suffered greatly, especially the chief of

1 The following forms as it were a second part of the book written
after the interruption mentioned in the text.

202 Chapter XXVIII

them, from serious accusations, and from the opposition of almost
all the Fathers of the mitigated Rule. They so represented
matters to our Most Reverend Father General that he insisted
on the foundations of Discalced Brothers being discontinued.
(He was always friendly to those of the Sisters.) This was
in spite of his being very saintly and of its being by his own
licence that all the monasteries had been founded except the first,
that of St Joseph of Avila ; for that was done by the Pope's
licence. And because I had helped in this, he was put against
me, which was the greatest trouble I have suffered in these
foundations, though I have been through plenty. For the men
of great learning who heard my Confession and advised me would
not allow me to cease helping forward a work which I clearly
saw was to the service of our Lord and the increase of our Order :
yet to go against what I saw my Superior wished was like death
to me ; for, let alone my duty to him as Superior, I loved him
very tenderly, and of good right I owed him affection. It is
true that, even if I had thought well to give him satisfaction
in this matter, I could not ; because of having Apostolic
Visitors, whom I had perforce to obey. The Nuncio died, a
saintly man1, who shewed favour to virtue, and therefore
appreciated the Barefoot friars. Another2 came who seemed to
have been sent by God to exercise us in suffering. He was

1 Monsenor Nicolas Ormaneto, one of the most zealous Bishops of
the 16th century. He spent some time in England with Cardinal Pole,
and was afterwards present at the Council of Trent. St Charles
Borromeo made him his Vicar- General, and he afterwards became
Bishop of Padua. He came to Spain as Nuncio in 1572. He died in
June 1577, in such poverty, through his abundant almsgiving, that
Philip II had to defray his funeral expenses.

2 Monsenor Filipo Sega. He had been in Belgium with Don John of
Austria, and thence came to Spain. Before he left Italy for Belgium,
the Italian [unreformed] Carmelites ingratiated themselves with him

Villanueva de la Jara 203

some connection of the Pope, and must have been a servant
of God, only that he had begun to have it much at heart to
shew favour to the Fathers of the Mitigation : and agreeably
to their reports of us, he quite made up his mind that it was
not a good thing that our beginnings should go forward. So he
began to carry this out with the greatest rigour, censuring those
who he thought might be able to resist him, imprisoning and
banishing them.

Those who suffered most severely were Father Fray
Antonio of Jesus, the one who began the first monastery of
Barefoot Carmelites, and Father Fray Ger6nimo Gracian,
whom the late Nuncio had made Apostolic Visitor of the
Fathers of the Mitigation. He was greatly displeased with
him and with Father Mariano de San Benito. These
Fathers I have described in the account of the former
foundations. Others of the more considerable Fathers he
punished, but not so severely. These he bound under heavy
penalties not to take any part in the affairs of the Order. It
can be well seen that all this came from God, and that His
Majesty permitted it for the best and that the virtue of these
Fathers might be better known ; as in fact it has been. He
appointed one of the mitigated Rule as Superior, to visit our
monasteries of nuns and friars : and a grievous trouble it
would have been if all that he proposed had come to pass.
And so we suffered exceedingly, as will be told by someone
who knows how to say it better than I.

I am only touching on it, so that nuns to come may
understand how great is their obligation to keep up their
perfection, since they find smooth and easy what has cost

through his relation, Cardinal Boncompagni, a patron of theirs, nephew
of Pope Gregory XIII. Thence the prejudice of the Nuncio against
St Theresa and her reform.

204 Chapter XXVIII

the present nuns so dear : for some of them suffered greatly
during that time from serious accusations, for which I was
much more sorry than for what I myself suffered : for my own
sufferings were a great happiness to me. It seemed to me
that I was the cause of all this storm ; and that if they
threw me into the sea like Jonas, the tempest would cease.

Praised be God Who defends the truth ! He did so now :
for when our Catholic King Don Felipe heard what was
taking place, and was told of the life and Rule of the
Barefoot Carmelites, he took up our cause in this way, that
he would not allow the Nuncio alone to decide our case, but
gave him four assistants, men of weight, three of them
members of Religious Orders, in order that our right might
be fairly considered. One of them was Father Master Friar
Pedro Fernandez, a man of very holy life and of great learning
and understanding. He had been Apostolic Commissary and
Visitor of the Friars of the Mitigation in Castille. To him
we Barefoot Carmelites also were subject, and he very well
knew the truth as to how each sort lived : and all of us desired
nothing but that this should be known1. Therefore when I
heard that the King had appointed him, I reckoned the affair
as settled, as indeed by the mercy of God it is. May it please
His Majesty that it may be to His honour and glory.
Although there were many Lords of the realm and Bishops
who hastened to tell the Nuncio the truth, little would it all
have availed if God had not made employment of the King.

We all, sisters, are under a great obligation to commend

1 He was appointed by St Pius V, at the request of Philip II, who
was not altogether satisfied with the work of Father Bossi. Father
Fernandez made his visitation on foot, with a companion. While he
was at Pastrana he lived like the Barefoot friars, following all their Bule.
No wonder therefore that St Theresa put such confidence in him.

Villanueva de la Jara 205

him continually to our Lord in our prayers, and the others,
too, who have helped forward the cause of our Lord and of
our Lady the Virgin : therefore I earnestly commend it to
you. You can well see, sisters, what opportunity there was for
making new foundations ! We all occupied ourselves without
ceasing in prayers arid penances that God would preserve and
continue the already existing foundations, if they were to be to
His service.

These great troubles, narrated so briefly, will seem small to
you ; but having been endured such a long time, they really
were very great.

At the time of their beginning I was at Toledo, for I had
come from the foundation at Seville, in the year 1576. There
a cleric of Villanueva de la Jara brought me letters from the
Corporation of that town, and came to negotiate with me about
accepting as a Convent nine women who, some years before,
had entered all together into a hermitage of the glorious St
Anna in that place, which had a little house next door. They
lived there with retirement and sanctity so great that it made
the whole town wish to obtain the accomplishment of their
desire ; which was, to become nuns. There wrote to me also
the parish priest, Doctor Augustin Ervias, a learned and
virtuous man. His virtue made him help as much as he could
in this holy undertaking.

To me it seemed not by any means fitting to accept the
Convent, for the following reasons. The first, that there were
so many of them, and it seemed to me very difficult for them,
when they were fashioned to their own way of living, to
accommodate themselves to ours. The second, that they
possessed hardly any means of subsistence, and the town had
little more than a thousand inhabitants, which is little to
reckon on for living on alms ; and although the Corporation

206 Chapter XXVIII

offered to maintain them, that did not seem to me a lasting
security. The third, that they had no house. The fourth,
that it was a long way from the other convents. And
although I was told that they were very good, yet as I had
not seen them, I could not tell whether they possessed the
qualifications which we require in our convents. So I
resolved to decline altogether. With this view I sought first
to speak to my confessor, who was Dr Velasquez, a Canon and
Professor at Toledo, a very learned and good man, now Bishop
of Osma ; for my custom always is to do things not according
to my own judgement, but that of people such as he. When
he saw the letters and understood the affair, he told me not
to decline, but to give a favourable answer ; because when
God united so many hearts in one purpose, it was clear
that it was to be to His service. So I did ; for I neither
altogether accepted nor declined. They went on asking
for the foundation and getting people to persuade me to
make it ; and so the time went by until the year 1580, I all
the time thinking it would be foolish to accept. When I an-
swered them, I never could answer altogether unfavourably.

It happened that Father Fray Antonio of Jesus, in
fulfilment of his sentence of banishment, went to the
Monastery of our Lady of Succour, which is three leagues from
the town of Villanueva ; and he used to preach at Villanueva,
and the Prior of the Monastery, Father Fray Gabriel of the
Assumption, a very clear-sighted man and a servant of God,
also went a great deal to Villanueva ; for they were friends of
Dr Ervias. They began to speak with those saintly Sisters :
and being much taken with their goodness, and being persuaded
by the townspeople and by the Doctor, they made the affair
their own, and began persuading me very vigorously by letter.
And when I was at St Joseph's at Malagon, which is twenty-

Villanueva de la Jara 207

six leagues or more from Villanueva, the Father Prior him-
self came over to speak to me about it, telling me in detail
what could be done, and how, after it was done, Dr Ervias
would give three hundred ducats a year out of what he got
from his benefice : and that leave could be got from Rome.
This seemed to me very doubtful, as there might be slackness
in payment after the Convent was made : for it was quite
enough together with the little the Sisters possessed. There-
fore I gave the Father Prior many and to my mind sufficient
reasons for him to see that it was not fitting to make the
foundation. I told him to consider it well, together with
Father Antonio ; and that I left it to their conscience. For
I thought that what I had said was sufficient to prevent them.
After he was gone, I considered how much he was taken with
the idea, and I felt almost sure he would persuade our present
Superior, Master Fray Angel de Salazar, to accept the foun-
dation. So I made great haste to write to the Superior,
begging him not to give the licence, and telling him my
reasons. And as he has since told me in writing, he would
not have given it, except with my approval.

About six weeks passed, or it may have been a little more.
When I fairly thought I had got it stopped, a messenger was
sent me with letters from the Corporation, formally under-
taking that the Sisters should not lack necessaries; from
Dr Ervias, promising what I have mentioned ; and most urgent
letters from the two Reverend Fathers. I greatly dreaded
accepting so many Sisters, thinking there would be sure to be
some party, as usually happens, against the Sisters who went
from us. Also I did not see sufficient security for their
maintenance ; for what they offered was not entirely secure.
So I was greatly perplexed. Afterwards I saw that it was the
devil : for, although the Lord has given me courage, I was at

208 Chapter XXVIII

that time so pusillanimous that I seemed not to have any
confidence in God. But the prayers of those saintly souls at
last prevailed.

One day I had made my Communion, and was commending
the thing to God, as I often did. (For what had made me answer
favourably at first was my fear of hindering some good to any
souls; for my desire always is for any means whereby our
Lord may be praised and may have someone more to serve Him.)
Then His Majesty gave me a severe rebuke, asking, With what
riches had all been accomplished which had been accomplished
so far ? And that I was not to hesitate to accept this house ;
for it would be greatly to His service and the benefit of souls.

The words of God are so powerful that not only does the
understanding understand them, but they also enlighten it to
understand the truth, and they dispose the will to desire to
practise it. Thus was it with me : for not only did I think
with pleasure of accepting the Convent, but I felt I had been
to blame in delaying so long, and being so wedded to human
reasonings, since that which I have seen of His Majesty's work
for our holy Rule has been so much above reason. Having
determined to accept this foundation, I thought I would go
with the nuns who were to live there. This was for many
reasons which came into my mind, although it was much
against the grain ; for I had come from Malagon very unwell,
and was so still. But, thinking it would be to our Lord's
service, I wrote to the Superior to order me to do whatever he
thought best. He sent the licence for the foundation and
instructions to me to go in person, and to take whichever
nuns I thought best. This was a serious anxiety to me,
because of their having to live with those who were there
already. Earnestly commending it to our Lord, I took two
from the Convent of St Joseph at Toledo, one of them as

Villanueva de la Jara 209

Prioress ; and two from that of Malagon, one as Sub-Prioress,
And, having been the subject of so many prayers to His
Majesty, it all turned out well, which I thought no small
matter — for in foundations begun with our own Sisters alone,
they all fit in well together.

There came for us Father Fray Antonio of Jesus and
the Father Prior, Fray Gabriel of the Assumption. Having
obtained all necessary securities from the town of Villanueva,
we started from Malagon on the Saturday before Lent,
February 13th, 1580. It pleased God to give us such fine
weather, and to me such good health, that I seemed never to
have been ill. And I was amazed, and considered of what
great moment it is, in any matter which we see is to the
Lord's service, not to pay attention to our own weakness and
the difficulty which that opposes to us : since He has power to
make the weak strong and the sick whole. And should He
not do so, it will be better for our soul to suffer and to forget
ourselves, fixing our eyes on His honour and glory. What is
life and health for, but to lose it for so great a King and Lord ?
Believe me, Sisters, that if you go by that way it will never
go ill with you. I confess that my badness and weakness
have often made me fear and hesitate : but I cannot remember
a single time, since the Lord gave me the Barefoot habit, nor
for some years before that, that He has not, of His sole mercy,
given me grace to overcome such temptations and to throw
myself into what I saw was to His greater service, however
difficult it might be. I quite clearly understand how little was
what I on my part did : but God requires nothing beyond such
a resolve in order to do everything Himself. May He be for
ever blessed and praised ! Amen.

We had to go to the monastery of our Lady of Succour,
which, as I have said, is three leagues from Villanueva, and to

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210 Chapter XXVIII

wait there to give notice of our arrival : for so they had arranged,
and it was right that I should obey the Fathers with whom we
were going in every particular. This monastery is situated in
a most delightfully wild uninhabited country. And when we
came near, the friars came out in very orderly array to receive
their Prior. As they advanced barefooted and in their poor
serge cloaks, they touched the hearts of us all, and me they
moved deeply, making me feel as though we were in the spring
time of our holy forefathers. They looked like so many white
fragrant flowers in that field ; and so I believe they are in
God's sight, for I think He is served there with genuine
sincerity. They entered the chapel with a Te Deum, sung
with very subdued voices. The entrance is underground as
through a cave, representing that of our father Elias. I entered
in a state of such inward rejoicing that indeed I should have
thought it well worth a longer journey : although I felt deep
regret that the saint through whom our Lord had founded
this house was already dead. It had not been vouchsafed me
to see her, though I greatly desired it.

I think it will not be idle to relate something of her life
and under what conditions our Lord was pleased to have the
monastery founded there, which, as I am told, has been so
profitable to many souls in the neighbouring villages. And I
tell it that, hearing of that saint's penance, you, my Sisters,
may see how far behind we lag, and may make efforts to serve
our Lord anew. For we have no excuse for doing less than
she, since we are not sprung of a race so gentle and noble
as hers : for, although this is of no importance in itself, I say it
because she had led a luxurious life, agreeably to her estate, for
she was of the family of the Duke of Cardona : thus her name
was Dona Catalina de Cardona. After she had written me a
few letters, she used to sign herself only The Sinner. Of her

Catalina de Cardona 211

life before the Lord gave her such graces, those who write her
Life will speak, and will relate in greater detail all that there is
to be told of her. In case that should not come into your
hands, I will here set down what I have been told by various
trustworthy people who had dealings with her.

While this saint was living among people and ladies of high
rank, she always was very careful of her soul, and did penance.
The desire for penance increased greatly in her, and for going
away by herself where she could enjoy communion with God and
be occupied in doing penance, without anyone to hinder her.
She spoke of this to her confessors, and they would not
consent. And, as the world is now so very prudent and we
have all but forgotten the great graces which God has bestowed
on holy men and women who served Him in the deserts, I do
not wonder at their thinking it folly. But, as His Majesty
never fails so to assist sincere desires that they may be carried
into effect, He appointed that she should go to confession to
a Franciscan Father, Fray Francisco de Torres, a man whom I
used to know well, and I consider him a saint. He has lived
these many years in great fervour of penance and prayer, and
in abundant persecutions. He must have known very well
what grace God gives to those who will do themselves violence
to receive it : so he told her not to delay, but to follow His
Majesty's call. I do not know that those were his exact words ;
but that was what she understood, for she put it in practice
immediately. She told her secret to a hermit who lived at
Alcala, and begged him to go with her, and never to tell
anyone : and they arrived at the place where the monastery
now stands. There she found a little cave which hardly gave
her shelter ; and there he left her. But what love must have
borne her there ! for she felt no anxiety about what she would
have to eat, nor about the dangers that might befall her, nor

14—2

212 Chapter XXVIII

about the evil that might be said about her when she was found
to be missing. How inebriated that saintly soul must have
been, engrossed with the desire of enjoying undisturbed
communion with her Spouse, and resolved to care no more for
the world, since she thus fled from all its pleasures ! Let
us think well over this, Sisters, and consider how she overcame
all at one blow. For, although what you do is no less than
what she did when you enter our holy Order, and offer to God
your will, and vow such constant enclosure, yet I could not
say that in some of us our first fervour does not pass away, so
that in some points we fall back under the sway of our own
self-love. May it please the Divine Majesty that thus it may
not be, but that as we have imitated this saint in choosing to
flee from the world, we may live in every way very far from it
in spirit.

I have heard a good many details of the great severity of
her life, and what is known of it can only be a small part : for,
living so many years as she did in that solitude, and having
no one to restrain her, and with such strong desires for
penance, she must have illtreated her body terribly. I will
relate what she herself told various people, especially the
nuns of St Joseph of Toledo, into which she went to see the
nuns, and talked to them as to sisters, with all openness.
So she did to other people ; for her simplicity was great, and
so must have been her humility. And as one who knew as a
matter of course that she had nothing of herself, she was very
far from vainglory, but delighted in telling of the graces
which God bestowed on her, that through them His Name
might be praised and glorified : a dangerous thing for those
who have not attained to her condition, because it may at
least seem to be to their own praise. That openness and holy
simplicity of hers must have kept her free from this ; for I
have never heard her charged with this fault.

Catalina de Cardona 213

She said she had spent eight years in that cave. For
many days she lived on wild herbs and roots. The hermit
who went with her left her three loaves ; but when those were
finished, she had no more until a shepherd lad passed that
way, who from that time provided her with bread and flour.
This was what she had to eat, little cakes baked on the ashes,
and nothing else ; this every third day. And it is certainly
true, for the friars who live there are also witnesses thereof :
for although when she went about to try to found a monastery,
when she was already much worn out, they sometimes made
her eat a sardine or something, it did her more harm than
good. She never drank wine that I heard of. Her disciplines
were taken with a sort of thick chain, and she often went on
with them two hours or an hour and a half. Her hair shirts
terribly sharp. For a certain person, a woman, told me that
once, on her return from a pilgrimage, she had stayed for
the night with her, and had pretended to be asleep, and saw
her take off her hair shirt soaked with blood, and wash it.
According to what she told the St Joseph's nuns, the worst
she went through was from the evil spirits ; for they appeared
to her like so many great mastiffs and jumped on her
shoulders, and sometimes like snakes : but she was not in the
least afraid of them. After she had founded the monastery,
she went just the same to her cave to live and sleep, except
for attending the Divine Office. Before it was founded, she
used to go to mass at a monastery of the Ransomers, a quarter
of a league off, and sometimes went there on her knees. Her
dress was of coarse cloth with a tunic of serge, and was so
fashioned that she was taken for a man. After those years
during which she lived there so lonely, it pleased the Lord
that it should be made known and people began to honour her
so highly that she did not know what to do, for the crowds

214 Chapter XXVIII

they came in. She spoke to all with great charity and
kindness. The longer this went on, the greater the concourse
of people who resorted to her ; and anyone who succeeded in
getting speech of her thought no little of it. She got so tired
with it, she said they were killing her. The time came when
all the plain was fall of carriages. Just after the friars were
settled there, there was nothing else to be done but to lift
her up on high to give the people the blessing, and so dismiss'
them.

After the eight years when she was living in the cave
(which now was larger, because those who resorted there had
made it so) she had a very serious illness of which she
thought she should die ; and she went through it all in that
cave. She began to entertain desires for a monastery of friars
in that place ; and this continued for some time, she not
knowing of what Order to make it. But one day while she
was reciting her prayers before a crucifix which she always
carried with her, our Lord shewed her a white cloak, and she
understood that it was the cloak of the Discalced Carmelites ;
and yet she had never heard that there were such Brothers in
the world : and at that time there were only two monasteries
founded, those of Mancera and Pastrana. After this, she
must have got information about them. She heard that there
was one at Pastrana : and as the Princess of Eboli, Prince
Ruy Gomez' wife, to whom Pastrana belonged, was a very old
friend of hers, she started for Pastrana to see how to found
this monastery which she so greatly desired. There in the
chapel of St Peter — for so it was called — in the monastery of
Pastrana, she took the habit of our Lady, although not with
the intention of being a professed nun. For as the Lord was
guiding her by another way, she never was inclined to be a
nun, but thought it would mean her having to give up on

Catalina de Cardona 215

obedience her purposes of mortification and solitude. In the
presence of all the Brothers, she received the habit of our
Lady of Carmel. Father Mariano, of whom I have before
spoken in my account of these foundations, happened to be
there : and he told me myself that it put him into a trance
or suspension so that his senses were quite gone. And that,
in this state, he saw many friars and nuns dead, some
decapitated, others with their legs and arms cut off, as
martyrs : for so in this vision he understood they were.
And he is not a man who would say it if he had not really
seen it ; no more is he accustomed to such suspensions : for
God does not lead him by that way. Ask of God, Sisters,
that it may come true, and that in our time we may be
worthy to see so great a good, and have part in it ourselves.

From that time at Pastrana the saintly Cardona began to
work towards founding her monastery, and for that purpose she
returned to the Court whence she had so gladly departed.
This can have been no slight torment to her. Nor were there
lacking slanders and troubles ; for whenever she went out
of the house, she did not know what to do for the mob that
followed her. This was the case wherever she went. Some cut
off pieces from her habit, some from her cloak. After that,
she went to Toledo, where she stayed with our nuns. They all
have assured me that there was about her so strong an odour
as of relics that, even after she left them there, the habit
and cincture retained it very strongly, moving the nuns to
praise the Lord. And the nearer the nuns came to her, the
better the odour ; when naturally the odour of such garments,
with the heat, which was great, would rather have been un-
pleasant. (The nuns took her habit from her, and gave her
another.) I know that they would not say anything that was
not quite true. Thus she left them greatly edified.

216 Chapter XXVIII

At the Court and elsewhere she was given the means to
make her monastery, and when she had obtained the licence,
it was founded. The chapel was built where her cave had
been, and they made another cave for her in a retired spot,
where she had a stone tomb, and there she spent most of the day
and night. This did not last long ; for she only lived about five
and a half years after she had the monastery there. And
indeed, that she should have lived even so long seems a
supernatural thing, considering the austerity of her life. Her
death took place in 1577, if I remember rightly. Her last
honours were performed with great solemnity ; for there was a
gentleman named Fray Juan de Leon who was greatly devoted
to her, who made a great point of this. She is now buried
temporarily in a chapel of our Lady, to whom she had a great
devotion, until a larger chapel than they now possess shall be
built to receive her blessed corpse, as is fitting. Great is the
devotion of the monastery and of the whole neighbourhood to
her memory ; especially because of her solitude and the cave
where she lived before she resolved to found the monastery ;
and therefore her body has rightly been left there.

The monks assured me that she was so wearied and distressed
at finding what a number of people came to see her that
she wanted to go somewhere else where nobody had heard of
her : and she sent for the hermit who had brought her there
to come and fetch her; but he was dead. And our Lord,
having purposed that this house of our Lady should be
established there, gave her no chance of departing ; for, as I
have said, I know that He is greatly served there. They are
very careful in their observance, and it can well be seen
that they like being withdrawn from human habitation,
particularly the Prior. For God brought him out from a life
of great enjoyment to take the habit, and so He has well

Catalina de Cardona 217

rewarded him with spiritual joys. He was very kind to me
there. They gave us some of their chapel furniture for the
chapel which we were going to found : for, as that saintly
woman was beloved by many great people, the chapel was well
provided with fittings.

I was very happy while I stayed there, although filled with
shame — and it has not left me. For I saw that she who there
had done such sharp penance was a woman like myself, but
more delicate, being of such high estate, and not a great
sinner as I am ; and that in this there is no comparison
between us : and I have received of our Lord much greater
favours in many ways ; and my not being already in hell, by
reason of my great sins, is a very great one. The thought of
imitating her, if I could, was the only thing which comforted
me, but not much : because all my life has gone by in desires,
but the works I do not. May God's mercy help me, in Whom I
have always trusted through His Most Blessed Son, and the
Virgin our Lady, whose habit I wear through the goodness of
the Lord !

One day when I had made my Communion in that
hallowed chapel, I fell into a deep abstraction and a sus-
pension which took away my senses. During this state, that
saintly woman appeared to me in an intellectual vision as a
glorified body, and some angels with her. She told me not to
be discouraged, but to endeavour to go forward with these
foundations. I know, although she did not expressly say so,
that she was aiding me before God. She said something else
as well, which I need not write down.

This left me greatly consoled and with a desire for work ;
and I hope in the goodness of the Lord, that with such good
aid as her prayers, I may be able in some degree to serve Him.

You see hereby, my Sisters, how her troubles were already

218 Chapter XXVIII

ended, and the glory which is now hers will be without end.
Let us, for the love of our Lord, make an effort to follow this
our Sister, hating ourselves as she hated herself; let us
accomplish our day's work, since it is so short, and all will
be at an end.

On the first Sunday of Lent, which was St Barbacian's
Day, the Eve of the Festival of the Chair of St Peter, 1580, we
arrived at Villanueva de la Jara. That same day the Blessed
Sacrament was brought into the chapel of St Anne, at the
time of High Mass. All the Corporation came out to meet us,
and Dr Ervias and some others, and we went and alighted at
the parish church, which is a long way from St Anne's.

All the people were rejoicing greatly, and it made me
happy indeed to see the joy with which they received the
Order of the Blessed Virgin our Lady. From afar off we
could hear the pealing of the bells. As we entered the
church, they began singing the Te Deum, the choir chanting
one verse and the organ the next. When that was over, they
carried the Blessed Sacrament shoulder high on a bier, and
an image of our Lady in like manner, with crosses and
banners. The procession travelled with great pomp. We in
our white cloaks and our veils over our faces walked in the
middle, next to the Blessed Sacrament, and next to us our
Barefoot Brothers — for a great many came from the monastery.
The Franciscans — for there is a Franciscan monastery in the
town — went in the procession, and a Dominican Brother
who happened to be in the place ; and although he was
alone, it gave me pleasure to see that habit there. As
it was a long distance, there were many altars on the
way : and they stopped from time to time, reciting poems
about our Order. We were greatly touched by this and by
seeing that all the poems were in praise of the great God

Villanueva de la Jara 219

Whom we were bearing with us, and that for His sake so much
was made of us seven poor insignificant Barefoot nuns who
were walking along there. It filled me with confusion when I
considered all this, seeing that I was walking among them,
and that if I had what I deserved, everyone would be turning
against me.

I have given you a long account of these honours done
to the habit of the Virgin, that you may praise our Lord
and pray that He may make use of this foundation. For I
am happier when a foundation is begun amidst persecution
and troubles, and I narrate those with a better will.

It is true that the Sisters who were living there had been
through many during those six years — or at least five and a
half — since they entered that house of the glorious St Anne ;
besides their deep poverty and their toil in earning their living.
For they never liked to ask for alms, because they did not wish
people to think they had gone there that they might feed them.
They lived very austerely, fasting much, eating little, with
uncomfortable beds, and in a very tiny house, which last was a
real hardship for people so strictly enclosed as they always were.
They told me that the hardest thing to bear was their sore desire
to see themselves in the habit : for day and night this troubled
them sorely, fearing it would never come to pass. So their
constant prayer to God, with frequent tears, was that He would
bestow that favour upon them. And when they saw that there
was some hitch, they were in great affliction and redoubled
their penances. They went without food in order to save from
their earnings the pay of the messengers whom they sent to
me, and to make such presents as their poverty permitted to
those who could in any way help forward their cause. I see
very well, since I have spoken with them and seen their
saintliness, that it was their prayers and tears which effected

220 Chapter XXVIII

their reception into the Order. Therefore I hold it a greater
treasure to have such souls within the Order than if they had
possessed an ample endowment; and I hope the house will
advance greatly.

. Well, when we entered the house, they were all at the
inner door, each in her own costume : they had gone on
dressing just as when they came in; for they had never chosen
to adopt the dress of beatas1, but were waiting in hopes of our
habit. However, their apparel was very sober : and the little
care they took of themselves was shewn by their being so
badly dressed ; and most of them were so weakly that it
shewed how severe a life they had led. They received us with
abundant tears of joy. These were obviously genuine, and
so was their goodness, their cheerfulness and humility and
obedience to the Prioress : and they did not know how to do
enough to please the nuns who had come for the foundation.
All their fear was lest, when they saw their little house and
their poverty, they might go away again. None of them was
head ; but with great Community spirit each worked as hard
as she could. Two who were older than the others, transacted
any necessary business : the others never spoke to anyone,
nor wished to do so. They had no lock to the door, but only
a bolt ; and no one ventured to go to the door but the eldest,
who answered. They slept very little in order to work for
their food and not to lose their prayer time : for they kept
long hours, on Festivals the whole day. They guided them-
selves by the books of Fray Luis of Granada and Fray Pedro of
Alcantara. Most of their time they spent in reciting the Divine
Office, though they could read but little — for there was only one
of them who could read well — and had not Breviaries alike.

1 [Devotes ; women who lived at home but spent their time at church
and among the poor. Tr.]

Villanueva de la Jara 221

Some they had of the old Roman1 Use, given them by priests
because they were of no use to themselves, others they had
got as they might : and, as they could not read, they spent
many hours at it. They did not recite it where anyone from
outside could hear them. God no doubt accepted their good
intention and laborious effort ; for they can have said very
little sense.

When Father Fray Antonio of Jesus began to have
dealings with them, he made them recite only the Office of
our Lady.

They had an oven in which they baked their bread :
and they did everything in as orderly a way as if they had
had someone over them. It made me give praise to our
Lord : and the more I saw of them, the more glad I was to
have come. I feel that I would not have failed to satisfy the
desire of such souls, whatever troubles I might have had to
endure. Those of my companions who remained there told
me that just the first few days they felt some repugnance,
but when they got to know them and realized their goodness,
they felt great affection for them and were delighted to be
remaining with them. Saintliness and goodness accomplish
much. It is true that our Sisters were of such a sort that,
even if they had met with many difficulties and troubles,
they would have borne it well, by the Lord's grace, because
they desire to suffer in His service. And any Sister who
should not feel in herself this desire, let her not reckon her-
self a true Barefoot ; seeing that our desires are not to be for

1 At that time a reform of Missals and Breviaries was taking place,
conformably with the decisions of the Council of Trent ; and the clergy
had to do away with their old Breviaries of any diocesan Use. St Theresa
calls them " old Eoman " because they were of the Eoman or secular
type, not of the monastic type, and were unreformed.

222 Chapter XXVIII

repose but for suffering, that we may in some wise follow our
true Spouse. May it please His Majesty to give us the grace
for it ! Amen.

This hermitage of St Anne had its origin as follows.
There was living in the town of Villanueva de la Jara an
ecclesiastic named Diego de Guadalajara, a native of Zamora,
who had been a Carmelite Brother. He had a devotion to
the glorious St Anne; so he built this hermitage adjoining
his own house, and kept it up for hearing mass in : and,
moved by his great devotion, he went to Rome and brought
back a Bull with many indulgences for this chapel or hermitage.
He was a virtuous and unworldly man. When he died, he
directed in his will that the house and all he possessed should
be for a convent of Carmelite nuns ; and that, if this could not
be carried into effect, there should be a chaplain to say so
many masses a week; and that if and whenever a convent
was established, the obligation of saying mass should cease.
So it went on more than twenty years, with a chaplain who let
the property fall into decay. For though those girls went to
live in the house, they had only the house. The chaplain
lived in another house belonging to the same chapelry, which
he now will give up with the rest, and very little that is : but
the mercy of God is so great that He cannot fail to shew
favour to the house of the glorious mother of His Mother.
May it please His Majesty that He may be always served
therein, and may all creatures praise Him for ever and ever !
Amen.

CHAPTER XXIX

Of the Foundation of St Joseph's of our Lady of the Street,
at Palencia, on King David's Day, 1580.

WHEN I came away from making the foundation of
Villanueva de la Jara, I was ordered by the Superior to go
to Valladolid. This was at the request of the Bishop of
Palencia, Don Alvaro de Mendoza, who had accepted and
always befriended our first convent, St Joseph's, at Avila,
and who always befriends the Order in all its concerns. He
had now resigned the See of Avila and been translated to
Palencia, and our Lord put it into his heart to have another
convent of this holy Order founded there. When I got to
Valladolid, I became so ill that they thought I should die ;
and the illness left me with so little energy, and feeling it so
impossible to do anything that, although the Prioress of
our convent at Valladolid, who was anxious the foundation
should be made, urged me to it, she could not persuade me,
nor did I think it reasonable ; for the convent was to be
founded without endowment, and I was told that the place
was too poor to support it.

This foundation, together with one at Burgos, had been
under consideration for about a year : and formerly I had not
been so averse to it; but now, although I had gone to
Valladolid for that very purpose, many were the difficulties I
found. I do not know whether it was my severe illness and
the weakness it had left, or whether it was the devil, seeking
to hinder the good which has since been done. Indeed, it
frightens and grieves me — and I often complain of it to our
Lord — to see what a great share the poor soul has in the

224 Chapter XXIX

weakness of the body ; so that it appears to have nothing to
do but observe its rules, laid down according to its needs and
sufferings. This seems to me one of the greatest troubles and
miseries of this life, when the spirit is not so high as to master
it. For I reckoned nothing to be ill and suffer great pain-
though it is a trial — if the soul is vigorous ; for the soul knows
that this comes from the hand of God and continues to praise
Him. But to be on the one hand suffering and on the other
inactive is a fearful state, especially for a soul which has
experienced strong desires never to rest inwardly or outwardly,
but wholly to employ itself in the service of its great God.
There is no help for it in this state but in patience and the
confession of its own wretchedness, and in resigning itself to
God's will, to be made use of as He pleases and for what ends
He pleases. This was my condition at that time : for although
I was already convalescent, yet I was so weak that I had lost
even the confidence which God is wont to give me when I have
to begin any of these foundations. Everything seemed
impossible to me. If at that time I had happened to meet
with anyone to encourage me, it would have done me much
good ; but some only encouraged my fears, and others, though
they gave me some hope, yet could not overcome my pusil-
lanimity1.

There happened to come that way a Father of the
Company, Doctor Ripalda, a great servant of God, who at one
time used to hear my confession. I told him how it stood
with me, and asked him to tell me what he thought, for that I
wished him to stand towards me in the place of God. He

1 [In that year, 1580, there swept through Europe a disease very much
like the present influenza : and it was this which St Theresa caught at
Valladolid. It seems to have been like influenza, at any rate in her
case, in its peculiar sequelae of depression and lack of energy. Tr. ]

Palencia 225

began to urge me on ; and he told me that my cowardice
carne just from old age. But I saw very well that this was
not the case ; for I am older now and not cowardly : and he
too must have known this quite well, but said it to rebuke me
and to shew me that it was not of God's sending. At that
time the foundations of Palencia and of Burgos were being
prepared for together, and I had nothing to make either with ;
but this had nothing to do with it, for I am used to beginning
with less. Doctor Ripalda told me on no account to give it up.
So had Baltasar Alvarez, a Provincial of the Company, told me,
at Toledo ; but at that time I was in good health. This was
enough to have decided me : but, although it made a great
difference, it did not altogether decide me ; because, as I have
said, either the devil or my sickness held me bound : still, I
was the better for it. The Prioress of Valladolid helped me as
well as she could, because she strongly desired the foundation
at Palencia ; yet she also had her fears when she saw me so
lukewarm.

Now let the true fire come; for no human beings, not
even servants of God, will do the work ! Hence it may be
seen over and over that it is not I who effected anything in
these foundations, but He alone Who is Almighty.

One day, while in doubt and not resolved to make either
foundation, I besought our Lord, just after I had made my
Communion, to give me light, that I might do His will in
everything : for my lukewarmness was not such as to make me
falter one hair's breadth in this desire. Our Lord said to me,
as it were reproaching me, What dost thou fear ? When
have I ever failed thee ? What I have always been, that same
am I now. Thou must not fail to make these two foundations.
0 Great Gocl, how different are Thy words from human words !
These words left me with such resolution and spirit that the

T. P. 15

226 Chapter XXIX

whole world would not have been strong enough to oppose me ;

and I began at once to set to work, and the Lord to give me

the means. I received two nuns, that we might have money

to buy a house. And, although people told me it was

impossible to live on alms in Palencia, it was as though they

had not told me : because, as to founding the house with an

endowment, I saw that at that time it could not be done ;

and, since God commanded it to be founded, His Majesty

would provide. Accordingly, although my health was not

quite restored, I determined to go : in an inclement season

too, for I left Valladolid on Holy Innocents' Day in the

aforesaid year1. For a nobleman of Palencia, who had gone

to live elsewhere, had said he would lend us until Midsummer

Day a house at Palencia which he had rented. I wrote to a

Canon in the city, although I did not know him : but a friend

of his had told me that he was a servant of God, and I had a

presentiment that he would be of great assistance to us. For

our Lord Himself, as has been seen in the accounts of other

foundations, selects in every place some one to help us,

because His Majesty sees how little I can do. I wrote to beg

him to get the house left free for us — for it was tenanted — as

quietly as he could, and without saying who it was for :

because, although some of the chief people there had shewn

goodwill towards us, and the Bishop's goodwill was so great,

yet I knew it was on the safe side to let nobody know.

Canon Reinoso — for this was his name — did it so well that
he not only had the house cleared for us, but we also found
beds and many comforts abundantly provided ; and indeed we
needed them, for it was bitterly cold, and the preceding day
had been difficult, with a fog so thick that we could hardly see
one another. It is true, we rested but little until we had got

C1 1580. Tr.]

Palencia 227

the place ready for saying mass next day, before anyone knew
we were there ; because this is what I have found to be the
best plan in making these foundations : for if things begin
to be left to discussion, the devil disturbs everything; and
although he cannot succeed in anything, he causes anxiety.
So it was done; for early, just about dawn, an ecclesiastic
named Porras, a great servant of God, who went with us, said
mass, and also another priest, Agustin de Vitoria, a friend of
the nuns at Valladolid, who had lent me money to furnish the
house, and given us many comforts for the journey.

There went, counting myself, five choir nuns, and one who
has been my companion this long time, a lay Sister, but such a
true servant of God and so sensible that she can help me more
than other Sisters can1. That night we slept but little,
although, as I say, the journey had been tiring because of the
wet. I was much pleased at having the foundation made on
that day, because it was the day on which King David is
commemorated2, and I have a special devotion to him. That
morning I at once sent to tell the Most Illustrious Bishop;
for not even he knew that I had come that day. He came at
once, with that great kindness which he has always shewn
towards us. He said he would give us all the bread we
wanted, and he told his steward to supply us with many
things. The Order owes him so much that whoever reads the

1 The Venerable Anna of St Bartholomew, who went about with her
until her death and acted as her secretary. It is told of her that she did
not know how to write, and St Theresa happened to say that if she did,
she could be of use to her. She begged the Saint to write out some lines
for her ; and by tracing them over and over, she taught herself to write
in one night. There are preserved several letters in her writing signed by
St Theresa.

a [Dec. 29, kept as the Feast of St Thomas of Canterbury, with a
commemoration of King David. Tr.]

15—2

228 Chapter XXIX

history of these foundations is bound to pray to our Lord for
him, living or dead, and so I beg them to do of their charity.

The satisfaction shewn by the people was so great and so
general as to be quite remarkable ; for there was no one who
was dissatisfied. The knowledge that it was the wish of the
Bishop went a long way towards this, he being greatly beloved
there : but the whole population is the most generous and of
the best stuff that I have ever seen ; and so I am more and
more glad every day to have made a foundation there.

As the house was not our own, we began at once to see
about buying another : for although that house was for sale,
it was in a very bad situation. And, with what I had
received from the nuns who were to go there, we seemed to
have something to bargain with ; for, though it was but little,
it would go far at Palencia. However, if God had not given
us the good friends He had sent us, nothing would have been
of any use. The good Canon Reinoso brought us another,
Canon Salinas, a friend of his, a man of great charity and good
sense ; and between them both, they took upon themselves
the charge of the affair as if it had been their own, or even, I
believe, more earnestly. And they have always continued to
look after the interests of the house.

There was in the town a house held in great devotion, a
sort of hermitage, dedicated to our Lady and called Our Lady
of the Street. It was resorted to by a great many people, and
held in reverence through all the town and the surrounding
country. To his Lordship and to us all, it seemed that we
should be well placed close to this chapel. There was no
house belonging to it ; but there were two next door which, if
we bought them, would be large enough for us, together with
the chapel. This the Chapter and a certain Confraternity
would have to give up to us : and this we began to arrange.

Palencia 229

for. The Chapter at once made us a present of it, and although
I had some difficulty in coming to an understanding with the
people of the Confraternity, they also willingly did so : for, as
I have said, if I have ever seen good people in my life, it is
the people of Palencia. When the owners of the houses saw
that we were disposed to buy them, they raised the price, very
naturally. I thought well to go and see them : and to me and
to those who went with us they seemed so poor that I would
not on any account have them. Afterwards it was clearly
seen that a good deal of this was the devil's doing, because
it annoyed him that we should go there. To the two Canons
who were acting for us it seemed too far from the cathedral ;
and so it is, but it is in the most thickly peopled part of the
city. Finally we all agreed that that house would not do, and
we must look for another.

This the two Canons began to do with a care and diligence
which made me give thanks to the Lord, not letting anything
go by which might chance to suit us. They came at last to be
satisfied with one belonging to a man called Tamayo. Some
parts of it were particularly well suited to our needs, and it
was close to the house of one of the first gentlemen, Suero de
Vega, who was very well disposed towards us, and who,
together with others in that quarter, very much wished us to
settle there. The house itself was not large enough, but with
it he offered us another, although not such that we could very
well join both together.

Any way, from the account they gave me of it, I wished the
purchase to be effected ; but the two men would not buy the
house, unless I saw it first. I so much disliked going out in
the town, and I so thoroughly trusted them, that they could
hardly persuade me. At last I went, and also to the houses
of our Lady ; not, however, with any intention of buying them,

230 Chapter XXIX

but lest the owner of the other house should think that we
had no choice but to buy his. They appeared, as I have
said, to me and to the Sisters who went, so poor that now we
cannot understand how they can have appeared so poor. In
this mind we went to the other house, quite determined to
have it and no other : and, although we found serious draw-
backs, we passed over them, notwithstanding that it would
be very difficult to overcome them ; for in order to make the
chapel — and a poor one too — we should have to lose all of the
house that was well fitted to live in. What a strange thing
it is to go into a matter with one's mind already made up !
Indeed it taught me the lesson of how little I could trust to
my own judgement — though on this occasion it was not I
alone who was under a delusion. Any way, we came away
determined to buy no other than that house, and to give the
owner what he had asked, which was a great deal, and to
write to him ; (for he lived not in the town, but near it).

It may seem irrelevant to have given such a long account
of the purchase of the house, until it is seen what the devil
must have had in view, in hindering us from going to the
house of our Lady. It frightens me every time I think of it.
We all having made up our minds, as I have said, to buy no
other house but that one, next morning at mass I began to be
extremely anxious as to whether I had done right, arid the
disquiet hardly let me remain tranquil during the whole of
mass. I went to receive the Blessed Sacrament, and just as I
received It, I heard these words, This is the right house for
thee, in such a way that I quite determined not to buy the
one I was thinking of, but the house of our Lady. I began to
consider what a bad thing it would be to draw back in a
negotiation which had gone so far, and which our zealous
helpers had so much at heart. Our Lord answered me, They

Palencia 231

do not know how grievously I am offended in that place : and
this will put it right.

It came into my mind to wonder whether this might be a
delusion, but not to believe it so : for I well knew by the effect
it worked in me that it was the Spirit of God. He said to me
at once, It is I. These words left me quite calm, and rid
of the commotion I had been in. Yet I did not know how to
undo what had been done, and the bad account I had given
my Sisters of that house ; for I had made the most of its
badness, and said that I would not for anything in the world
have had them go there, without seeing it first. This>
however, I did not so much concern myself about, because £
knew that whatever I did they would think right : but I was
concerned about the others who wished to buy Tamayo'a
house. I thought they would consider me light and change-
able, since I had so quickly altered my mind — a thing which I
greatly abhor.

These were not the sort of considerations to move me
much or little to give up going to the house of our Lady ;
nor did I even remember that it was not a good one : for
if the nuns could put a stop to one venial sin, all the rest
was trifling in comparison ; and any of them who knew what I
knew, would have been of my mind.

The means I took was this : I was at that time going to
confession to Canon Reinoso, one of our two helpers ; but I
had not hitherto spoken to him of spiritual matters of this sort,
because there had been no occasion to do so. But, as I have
been accustomed in these matters always to do what my
confessor advises, as being the safest way, I determined to tell
him this in great secrecy : although I could not feel sure that
I should give up doing what I had been told without great
heaviness of heart. But any way I should have done so :

232 Chapter XXIX

because I trusted in our Lord to do what in my experience He
has often done — to change the confessor's mind, so that he may
do what He desires, although his own judgement might be
opposed. I told him first about the many times that our Lord
had been used to teach me in this way, and that up to that
time many things had happened which proved it to have been
the work of His Spirit. Then I told him what had taken place ;
but said I would do what he thought right,, although it would
give me pain.

He is very discreet and religious, and of good judgement
in all sorts of matters, though he is young : and although he
saw there would be remarks about the affair, he did not decide
that I must give up doing what I had been told. I told him
that we had better wait for our messenger's return, and he
agreed : for I indeed trusted in God that He would set it
right. And so it was : for the owner of the house, when we
had consented to give him all he wanted and asked for, now
asked three hundred ducats more, which was absurd, for it was
excessive. So we saw that this was God's doing : for it was
much to the man's interest to sell ; and to ask more when the
bargain was made was not the way to do so. This was a great
help, for we told him that we should never come to terms with
him : yet it did not altogether settle the matter, because it
was clear that for a matter of three hundred ducats we ought
not to give up a house which appeared suitable for a convent.
I told my confessor not to concern himself about my credit,
since in his opinion we should buy this house ; but to tell his
friend that, good or bad, cheap or dear, I was determined to
buy the house of our Lady. His friend is of an exceedingly
quick understanding; and, seeing so sudden a change, I feel
sure that, although nothing was said to him, he guessed the
cause ; and so he pressed me no further in the matter.

Palencia 233

Well have we all since seen the great mistake we should
have made if we had bought the other : for now we are sur-
prised to see the superior advantages of our present house.
Let alone the greatest of all, which is easy to see — that there
our Lord and His glorious Mother are served, and many
occasions of sin removed : for as many nightly vigils were
kept there, and as the chapel was only a hermitage1, many
things might be done there which the devil was not pleased to
have stopped ; and we ourselves have the joy of being able to
do some service to our Mother and Lady and Patroness. And
very ill we should have acted if we had not gone there ; for
this was all we needed to take into account. It shews clearly
how the devil blinds us in many matters ; for in that house
there are many conveniences which we should not have found
elsewhere. Also it is the greatest satisfaction to all the
inhabitants, who wanted us to go there : even some who did
wish us to go to the other house afterwards quite approved of
it. Blessed for ever be He Who gave me light therein ! And
if in any matter I happen to do well, it is He Who gives the
light. For every day I am more astonished at the little ability
I have for anything. And this must not be supposed to be
humility ; for every day I keep seeing it more plainly. For
our Lord would seem to desire that I and everyone else should
have to acknowledge that it is His Majesty alone Who does
these works ; but that, as He with clay gave sight to the blind
man, so to so blind a creature as I He will find means of giving
sight. Certainly in this matter I was, as I have said, very
blind indeed ; and every time I think of it, it makes me desire
to thank our Lord afresh. But even this I cannot do; and I do
not know how He can bear me. Blessed be His mercy ! Amen.

1 [Being in the midst of a town, it was not, properly speaking, a
hermitage, but it was on the footing of one. The abuses of such chapels
hinted at in the text caused them to be suppressed from time to time. Tr.]

234 Chapter XXIX

Well then, those saintly friends of the Virgin at once made
haste to buy the houses ; and, in my opinion, they got them
cheap. They worked hard. For in each one of these foundations
it pleases God that there shall be some who do well in helping
us ; and I am the one who do nothing, as I have said elsewhere
-and I never mean to leave off saying it, for it is the truth.
They did a great deal, then, in getting the house ready, and
in giving money towards it, because I had not enough ; and
also in becoming sureties for it. For in other places, until I
can find a surety — and not for so large a sum either — I am
always harassed : and it is very reasonable : for if they do not
trust to our Lord for it, I myself have not a penny. But His
Majesty has always been so gracious to me that no one has
ever lost anything by trusting me, nor failed to be paid
liberally : and I count that as a very great favour done me.

As the owners of the houses were not satisfied with those
two as sureties, the Canons went to find the Vicar-general,
whose name was Prudencio — at least so they tell me now, but
I am not sure that I remember it ; for, as we used to speak of
him as the Vicar-general, I did not hear his name. He has
been so good to us that we owed and still owe him much.
He asked them where they were going ; and they said, To
find him, that he might sign the bond. He laughed and said,
! Well, so this is the way you ask me to become surety for so
large a sum ? " And without getting off his mule, he signed
it on the spot : a notable thing for such times as these. I
cannot help speaking in great praise of the kindness I met with
in Palencia, in general and in particular. Indeed it seemed
to me just like the ways of the primitive Church — at any rate
not at all usual now-a-days — that when we had no endowment
and they had to provide us with food, they not only permitted
us to come, but said that God was giving them the greatest
privilege. And, looked at in the right light, that was true :

Palencia 235

for, if it were only the having one church more wherein is the
Blessed Sacrament, it is a great thing.

May He be for ever blessed ! Amen. For it is shewn
more and more that it is His good pleasure to be there : and
that unseemlinesses must have taken place, which have now
been put a stop to : for as many people kept night-vigils there,
and the hermitage was lonely, not all of them went out of
devotion l. This is coming right. The image of our Lady
was in a very unfitting place. The Bishop, Don Alvaro de
Mendoza, built a chapel for it ; and, little by little, things are
coming to be done to the honour and glory of the glorious
Virgin and of her Son. May He be praised for ever ! Amen,
Amen.

Then when the fitting up of the house was finished, ready
for the nuns to go in, the Bishop wished their entry to be
made with great solemnity, and so it was done on the Octave
of Corpus Christi. He himself came from Valladolid, and he
was attended by the Chapter and the Religious Orders and
almost all the people of the place, with a great deal of music.
We all went in procession from the house where we were, in
our white cloaks, with our veils over our faces, to a parish
church close to the house of our Lady. There her image itself
met us, and thence we took the Blessed Sacrament and set It
in our chapel with great ceremony and solemnity, which
stirred up much devotion. Some more nuns went with us who
had gone there to make the foundation at Soria; and we all
had candles in our hands. I believe our Lord was greatly

1 Probably these abuses did not completely cease even after the nuns
were settled there : for they left the house ten years later, but this may
have been partly on account of some difficulty with the Confraternity.
The Jesuits took the chapel and enlarged the church, and it continued to
be a much frequented place of worship.

236 Chapter XXIX

praised that day at Palencia. May He grant that all creatures
may so praise Him for ever ! Amen.

While I was at Palencia, it pleased God that the separation
of the Barefoot Carmelites from the Carmelites of the Mitigated
Rule should take place, making them a separate province,
which was all that we desired for our peace and quiet. At
the request of our Catholic king, Don Philip, a very ample
Brief was brought from Rome to effect this : and his Majesty
helped us very greatly, as he had done from the beginning. A
Chapter was held at AlcaU by mandate of a Reverend Father,
Fray Juan de las Cuevas \ a Dominican, who was at that time
Prior at Talavera. He was appointed from Rome on the
King's nomination. He was a saintly and wise person, as was
fitting for such an office. The King bore the cost of the
Chapter, and at his command the whole University shewed
kindness to the friars.

The Chapter was held at St Cyril's, our College of Barefoot
friars at Alcala, and in great peace and concord. They elected
as Provincial Father Master Fray Jer<5nimo Gracian of the
Mother of God. Those Fathers will narrate elsewhere what
took place there; so I need not speak of it here. I have
mentioned it because it was while I was founding the house at
Palencia that our Lord brought to pass an event so closely
concerning the honour and glory of His glorious Mother, as it
concerned her Order, she being our Lady and Patroness.
And it gave me one of the greatest happinesses and satisfactions
I could have in this life. For the troubles and persecutions

1 His real name was Juan Velasquez de las Cuevas, but he was
usually called by his mother's surname, Juan de las Cuevas. His family
was of Coca. He was a Brother of the Monastery of St Stephen at
Salamanca. He was made Bishop of Avila in 1596, and died ten years
later.

Palencia 237

and distresses which I had gone through for more than twenty-
five years would take too long to tell ; and our Lord alone can
enter into' them. And" now to see the end of them all, no one
who did not know the troubles I had undergone could under-
stand the joy which filled my heart, or the desire which
possessed me that all the world should praise our Lord, and
that we should pray for our saintly king Don Philip, through
whose instrumentality God had brought our affairs to so good
an end. But for him, all would have been ruined, so cunningly
had the devil gone to work.

Now we are all in peace, Mitigated and Reformed : no one
hinders us in the service of our Lord. Therefore, my Brothers
and Sisters, since His Majesty has so graciously heard your
prayers, up and haste to serve Him ! Let the present genera-
tion, who are eyewitnesses of it, consider the mercies He has
done us and the troubles and disquiet from which He has
delivered us : and those who are to come after, since they find
the way made plain, let them, for the love of our Lord, never
suffer a single thing which belongs to perfection to slip away.
Let it not be said by their fault as is said of some Orders,
that their beginning was praiseworthy1. Now we are beginning :
but let them try to keep on beginning to go on from good to
better continually. Let them remember that the devil keeps
using very small faults with which to bore holes through
which the very greatest may find entrance. Let them never
catch themselves saying, "This does not matter : they are over
particular." Oh my daughters, everything matters which
hinders our progress. For the love of our Lord I entreat them
to remember how soon all will be over, and what a mercy our
Lord has done us in leading us into this Order, and what a
heavy penalty will be incurred by anyone who initiates any
relaxation. Nay, let them keep their eyes ever fixed on the

1 A euphemism, implying that later the developments are not so.

238 Chapter XXIX

race of holy prophets from which we are sprung. What Saints
have we in heaven who wore this habit ! Let us aspire with a
holy audacity, by the grace of God, to be ourselves like unto
them. Short will be the battle, my Sisters ; the issue is
eternal. Let us put aside those things which are really
nothings, for only those are realities which lead us to our
true end, to serve and love Him more, seeing He liveth for
evermore. Amen. Amen. To God be thanksgivings !

JESUS

f

CHAPTER XXX

The Foundation of the Convent of the Blessed Trinity at Soria,
in 1581. The first mass was said on the Day of our Father
Saint Elisha.

WHILE I was at Palencia, making the above-mentioned
foundation, a letter was brought me from Doctor Velasquez,
Bishop of Osma. With him, at the time when he was Professor
and Canon of the Cathedral at Toledo, and when I was troubled
by certain fears, I had sought communication, because I knew
him to be a most learned man and a great servant of God.
So I besought him to hear my confession and take upon
him the care of my soul. Although he was a very busy man,
yet when I begged this for the love of our Lord and he saw my
necessity, he did it so willingly that I was surprised ; and he
was my confessor and director all the time I was at Toledo,
which was a long while. I told him of the state of my soul
quite plainly, as I always do. He did me so much good that
from that time I began to suffer less from those fears. It is

Soria 239

true that there was another cause for this, not to be told here.
Still he did me a great and real good, because he reassured me
by means of passages from Holy Scripture, which is the thing
that has most weight with me, when I am certain that he who
makes use of them thoroughly understands them. I well knew
this of him ; and knew his good life too.

He wrote me this letter from Soria, where he was staying.
He told me that a lady whose confession he heard there had
spoken to him about founding a convent of our nuns, and that
he approved of it : that he had promised to persuade me to go
and make the foundation there, and that I must not leave him
in the lurch : that if I thought it suitable I must let him
know, and he would send for me. I was much pleased : for,
let alone its being a good foundation to make, I wanted to tell
him some matters concerning my soul, and to see him ; for I
bore him a great affection for the good he had done me.

The lady foundress' name was Dona Beatriz de Veamonte
and Navarre, for she was sprung from the Kings of Navarre.
She was the daughter of Don France's de Veamonte, of illus-
trious and high descent. She had been married some years,
and was left with no children and great wealth, and had an
ardent desire to found a convent of nuns. When she mentioned
this to the Bishop and he told her of the Order of our Lady,
the Barefoot Carmelites, it was so exactly what she wanted
that she was in great haste to carry it out. She is a person
of gentle disposition, generous and lowly ; in a word, a true
servant of God. She owned at Soria a good solidly built house
in a very good situation ; and she said she would give us that
together with whatever might be needed for the foundation :
and with this she gave a sum of money which at two per cent,
would bring in five hundred ducats a year. The Bishop
offered to give a very good parish church all built of hewn

240 Chapter XXX

stone, close at hand, which we could make use of with a
covered way. He could rightly do this because there were
many churches in the town, and this one was poor, so that he
could join the parish to another church. In his letter he set
forth all this. I discussed it all with the Father Provincial,
who was there at the time ; and he and all my friends there
decided to write by a special messenger to say they might
come to fetch me, because the foundation at Palencia was
accomplished. And I was much pleased about this, for the
reasons I have given.

I began to collect the nuns whom I was to take with me.
There were seven, because the foundress wished to have more
rather than fewer, and a lay sister, and my companion and
myself. A very suitable person came for us without delay.
I told him that I would take with me two Barefoot Fathers :
so I took Father Fray Nicolas of Jesus Maria1, a Genoese, a
man of great discretion and perfection. He was over forty
when he took the habit, I think : at any rate he is so now,
and that was not long ago. But the progress he has made in
this short time shews clearly that our Lord chose him to come
to the aid of the Order in those troublous times of persecution.
He was a great help : for of the others who could have helped,
some were banished, some in prison. Having been, as I have
said, such a short time in the Order, he held no office, and so
less notice was taken of him ; this was the work of God's
providence, that such valuable help might be left me2. He is
so discreet that he was able to stay in the monastery of the

1 The celebrated Father Doria, afterwards first Vicar-general of the
Order in Spain.

2 The Dorias were bankers and contractors, and the King of Spain
had borrowed heavily of them : so Nicholas Doria had considerable
influence at court.

Soria 241

Mitigation at Madrid, as it were for other businesses, and hid
ours so well that they never found out what he was there for,
and so let him stay. We wrote to each other continually, for
I was in the monastery of St Joseph at Avila, and discussed
what was to be done ; for this was a relief to him. It shews
how badly off our Order was, that so much was made of me,
as the saying is, " For want of better people1." In all those
vicissitudes I made proof of his discretion and perfection ; so
he is one of those whom I greatly love in the Lord and highly
esteem in our Order.

Well, he and a companion went with us at once. I had
little difficulty on this journey, because the Bishop's envoy
caused us to travel in great comfort, and helped us to obtain
good lodgings : for when once we were within the diocese of
Osma, the Bishop is so much beloved that people gave .us
good lodgings on hearing that it was his errand we were on.
The weather was fine, and our stages were short : so there was
no toilsomeness, but only pleasure ; for it gave me the greatest
pleasure to hear what people said of the Bishop's sanctity.
We arrived at Burgo2 the day before the Octave of Corpus
Christi. We made our Communion there next day, Thursday,
the Octave Day, and we dined there, because we could not reach
Soria next day. That night we spent in a church, because
there was no other lodging, but we were none the worse for it.
Next day we heard mass there, and we arrived at Soria about
five in the evening. The saintly Bishop was at a window of
his house when we passed by : and thence he gave us his

1 St Theresa is referring to the old proverb, " For want of a better,
my husband is mayor."

2 Burgo de Osma, the seat of the Episcopal palace and Cathedral of
the diocese to which Soria belongs, Soria having only a Collegiate
church.

T. F. 16

242 Chapter XXX

blessing, which was a great comfort to us ; for the blessing of
a Bishop and a saint is not to be lightly esteemed.

Our lady foundress was waiting for us at the door of her
house, for it was there that the monastery was to be established.
We did not see how to get in, the crowd was so great. This
was nothing new ; for the world is so fond of novelties that,
wherever we go, there are such crowds that, if we did not wear
veils over our faces, it would be a great annoyance : with our
veils, it is not unbearable. Dona Beatriz had had a large hall
very well fitted up for saying mass, because the covered way
to the church which the Bishop had given us had yet to be
made : and without delay it was said next day, the festival of
our father Saint Eliseus. The foundress provided us most
amply with all that we needed, and settled us in those quarters,
where we were enclosed, until the passage was made ; that is,
until the Transfiguration. On that day the first mass was
said in the church, with great solemnity and with a large
congregation. A father of the Company of Jesus preached,
the Bishop having already gone to Burgo — for in his work he
never loses a day nor an hour — although he was not in good
health, for he had lost the sight of one eye. This sorrow I
had there : for I felt it such a grievous pity that eyesight so
valuable in the service of our Lord should be lost. The Lord's
judgements are His own. This must have been allowed in
order to give His servant more to gain ; for he ceased not to
labour as before : and in order to try his submission to His
will. He told me that it gave him no more concern than if it
had befallen his neighbour : and that he sometimes felt he
would not be sorry if he lost the sight of the other ; for then
he would go and serve God in a hermitage with no more
responsibility1.

1 In the end Senor Velasquez' desire was accomplished. Having been

Soria 243

This had always been what he felt himself called to before
he was made Bishop ; and he sometimes spoke to me of it,
having almost made up his mind to give up everything and be
gone. I could not bear him to do this, because I thought he
would be of great use in the Church of God, and so I wished
him to be what he is now. For all that, on the day when he
was offered the bishopric, when he sent to tell me, it at once
put me into great perturbation, imagining I saw him under a
heavy burden, and I did not know what to do with myself or
how to keep quiet. I went into the choir to commend him to
our Lord. His Majesty calmed me at once, telling me that it
would be greatly to His service ; and so indeed it is continually
shewn to be. In spite of the disease of the eye and other
painful infirmities, and his round of work, he fasts four days
in the week and does other penances ; his food is by no means
luxurious. When he visits the diocese, he goes on foot : his
servants cannot bear it, and have complained to me. The
servants must lead a good life or not remain in his service.
He does not entrust important affairs to his Vicars-general,
but they go through his own hands : and so I think do all.
During the first two years he was at Osma he underwent a
fierce persecution of false accusations, which amazed me, for
he is upright and just in administering justice. This has now
been coming to an end : for although they have been to court
and to wherever they thought they could do him injury, they
have little power to harm him, because the good he is doing in
all the diocese is getting to be well known. And he has borne it

promoted in 1583 to the metropolitan see of Santiago, and being in very
bad health, he obtained permission to resign. The King wished to
assign him a pension of 12,000 ducats, but 6,000 was all he could be
made to accept. He died in 1587, and his body was taken to his native
place, Tudela de Duero.

16—2

244 Chapter XXX

all so perfectly that he has put them to shame, doing good to
those who he knew were doing evil to him1. For all that he
has to do, he does not fail to find time for prayer.

I seem to have been carried away in speaking the praises of
this saintly man — and I have said but a small part — but that
it may be known who it was that began the foundation of the
Convent of the Blessed Trinity at Soria, and that its future
nuns may take comfort from that, it has been no waste of
time. The nuns who are there now know it well. Although
he did not give the endowment, he gave the church ; and, as
I say, it was he who put it into the heart of our foundress, who
was, as I have said, a very good Christian, virtuous and humble.

Well, when we had made the passage to the church and
arranged everything needful for our enclosure, it became
necessary for me to go to the Convent of St Joseph at
Avila : so I started at once in the great heat, and such road
as there was, was very bad for wheeled conveyances. There
went with me a prebendary of Palencia, named Bibera. He
had been extremely helpful to me in the work of making the
covered way, and in everything else ; Father Nicolas of Jesus
Maria having departed as soon as the papers relating to the
foundation were done with, because he was greatly needed
elsewhere. Bibera had business to transact at, Soria when
we went there, and he went with us. From that time forth
God gave him such an effectual desire to do us good that we
may well commend him to God amongst the benefactors of the
Order. I did not want anyone else to go with me and my
companion, because he was so careful that he sufficed, and the
quieter the better for me in travelling.

1 The proceedings were largely on account of the attempts made to
have a cathedral at Soria. See Loperaez, History of the Diocese of
Osma.

Soria 245

In this journey I paid for the comfort in which I had
travelled to Soria ; for although our driver knew his way to
Segovia, he did not know the carriage road, and so the youth
took us into places where we often had to alight, and led the
cart along deep precipices where it almost went over. If we
engaged guides, they took us just so far as where they knew
there was a plain road ; and left us, saying they had another
engagement, just before the way became difficult. Before
reaching any lodging place, as we did not know the country,
we had to endure the sun for long hours, and often the danger
of the cart's overturning. I was sorry for our escort : for
sometimes when we had been told we were on the right way,
we had to turn and retrace our steps. But his goodness was
so deeply rooted that I do not think I ever saw him out of
temper : which made me marvel and thank God that tempta-
tions have so little power where anyone is radically good. I
thank God that He was pleased to deliver us from the dangers
of that journey.

On the eve of St Bartholomew we arrived at Segovia,
where our nuns were in anxiety because of the delay ; which
indeed was great, the journey having been what it was.
There they made much of us ; for God never sends me trouble
but He repays me at once. I rested there a week or more.
But this foundation was made with so little trouble that the
journey back is not worth thinking of, for it was nothing.

I came away well content, because it seemed to me a
neighbourhood where, by God's mercy, the foundation will be
to His service, as indeed is being shewn already. May He be
praised and blessed for ages upon ages. Amen. Deo gracias1.

1 From this conclusion it is apparent that she wrote the two preceding
chapters soon after making the foundations at Palencia and Soria ; and
thought to have ended the book with them, having made her last
Foundation.

CHAPTER XXXI

Of the Foundation of the glorious St Joseph of St Anne's, at Burgos.
The first mass was said on April 19th within the Octave of Easter
Day, 1582.

MORE than six years before this time, certain people who
had long been professed in the Company of Jesus, very
religious, learned and spiritual, had said to me that it would
be greatly to the service of our Lord if there were a house of
our holy Order at Burgos ; and they gave me certain reasons
which moved me to desire it. What with the many troubles
of the Order and with other foundations, I had had no
opportunity of carrying it out. While I was at Valladolid in
the year 1580, the Archbishop of Burgos1 passed that way.
He had been Bishop of the Canaries, and now had been given
this archbishopric, and was on his way to it.

I have before spoken of the Bishop of Palencia, Don Alvaro
de Mendoza, and all he has done for our Order : that he was
the first to accept the Convent of St Joseph at Avila, he
being Bishop then ; and that ever since then, he has shewn us
great kindness, making the interests of the Order his own,
especially those which I have commended to him. I begged
him to ask the Archbishop's leave to make a foundation at
Burgos, and he very willingly consented ; because, as he believes
that our Lord is served in our houses, he is much pleased
when any is founded. The Archbishop would not come into
Valladolid, but lodged at the monastery of San Geronimo,
where the Bishop of Palencia entertained him sumptuously,

1 Don Crist6bal Vela, son of Don Blasco Nunez Vela, Viceroy of
Peru. He was appointed Bishop of the Canaries in 1575.

•3.* I

Burgos 247

and went to dine with him and give him a girdle1 or some
such ceremony, which was to make him Bishop. There he
asked him for the licence to found the convent. He said
he would grant it most willingly; for indeed he would have
liked to have one in the Canaries, and he was wanting to get
one founded, because he knew how well our Lord was served
in them, for he came from a place where there was one, and
he knew me well2. So the Bishop told me that as he was so
delighted to have the foundation, we were not to wait for the
licence : this could be considered as already granted, since the
Council3 did not specify that it was to be in writing, but only
that it was to be with the Bishop's consent.

In iny account of the previous foundation at Palencia I
have spoken of the great repugnance I had at that time for
making foundations, because I had been so ill that I was not
thought likely to live, and was not yet recovered. This,
however, is not my wont when I see that something is to the
service of God : so I do not understand the reason of such
unwillingness as I then felt. If it had been for want of
means, I have had less in making other foundations. To my
thinking, now that I have seen the sequel, it was the devil's
doing. And so it has regularly happened that every time
,1 was to have difficulties in making a foundation, our Lord,
knowing what a poor creature I am, has helped me by words
and by deeds. I sometimes think over it — how in some
foundations in which there were no difficulties, His Majesty
apprised me of nothing. So it was in this one, that, as He
knew what I should have to go through, He began to inspirit

1 The Metropolitan's pallium.

2 For he was of a family of Avila.

3 The Council of Trent, Cap. 3. § 25, de Eeform. Kegul. "licentia prius
obtenta."

248 Chapter XXXI

me from the first. May He be praised for all ! So it was
here — as I have said in my account of the foundation at
Palencia, which was arranged at the same time — for as though
reproving me, He said, What was I afraid of ? When had He
ever failed me ? "I am the same : do not fail to make these
two foundations." I have before spoken of the courage which
such words infused into me, so I need not speak of it again.
All my sloth at once vanished : which shewed that the cause
of it was not infirmity or old age ; so I set about making both,
as I have said.

It seemed better to make the foundation at Palencia first,
as it was nearer, and because the weather was so severe and
Burgos so cold, and also to please the good Bishop of
Palencia ; and so this was done, as I have said. And since,
while I was there, the opportunity for founding a convent at
Soria presented itself, it seemed best to go there first, as
everything was made ready for us ; and thence to go on to
Burgos.

I begged the Bishop of Palencia, and he thought it right,
to keep the Archbishop informed of what was going on ; so
after I had gone to Soria, he sent a Canon, Juan Alonso, to
the Archbishop, for this and no other purpose. The Arch-
bishop wrote to me that he was affectionately desirous of my
coming, and had talked over it with the Canon and was
writing to his Lordship, putting himself into his hands ; that
he was acting in this way because he knew Burgos, and that
I should need the town's consent to come in. The practical
outcome was that I was to go there and treat first with the
city ; and if the city refused leave, that should not tie his
hands to hinder him from giving it ; that he was there at the
first foundation at Avila and remembered the great commotion
and opposition there had been, and so he wished to prevent

Burgos 249

the like here : that it would not be fitting to found the convent
except with the consent of the city, unless it were endowed —
a condition which he mentioned because it was not one which
I liked1.

The Bishop naturally considered the thing settled when
the Archbishop said I was to go there, so he sent to tell me to
go. But to me there seemed a certain lack of courage in the
Archbishop ; and I wrote thanking him for his kindness to
me, but saying that it seemed to me worse to make the
foundation against the will of the city than to do so without
telling them, and would bring more trouble upon his Lordship.
I seem to have divined how little we could expect from him if
there should be any opposition to my getting the licence:
and I thought there would be difficulty in getting it because
of the contrary opinions there usually are in such matters.
I wrote also to the Bishop of Palencia begging him to let the
matter stand over for the present, there being so little of the
summer left, and I being too unwell to stay in so cold a part of
the country. I did not mention my doubts of the Archbishop,
because he was already vexed at his having made difficulties
after having shewed such eagerness for it ; and I did not want
to sow discord, as they were friends. So I went off from
Soria to Avila, without any idea at the time that I should
have to go so soon to Burgos. And for certain reasons it was
very necessary that I should go to St Joseph's2.

There was at Burgos a saintly widow, Catalina de Tolosa,

1 There is something of ambiguity in these provisions of the Archbishop.
They seem to shew that he wished for the foundation, but was not
resolutely determined to have it made.

2 [The convent had grown slack, and alms had fallen off. The
Provincial, Fray Jerome, had just been to visit the convent : the Prioress
resigned at once, and the nuns elected St Theresa in her place, " through
sheer hunger," she says. Tr.]

250 Chapter XXXI

a Biscayan by birth, whose virtues would take me a long time
to tell, so great were her austerities and her devotions, her
alms and charity, so good her understanding and courage.
She had placed two daughters as nuns in the Convent of
Our Lady of the Conception at Valladolid, I think four years
before this, and had just placed two more at Palencia ; for she
was waiting until that house was founded, and brought them
there before I departed. All four have turned out as children
brought up by such a mother, like angels. She gave them
good dowries and everything very perfect, for she herself is so,
and all that she does is handsomely done, and she can make
it so, for she is rich.

When I went to Palencia, we considered the Archbishop's
licence so certain that there seemed no need for cautious
delay : so I asked her to get me a hired house to take
possession of, and to put up some gratings and a turn, and
put it to my account. It never entered my head that she
would spend money of her own, but I meant her to lend it.
She so much desired the foundation that she was distressed at
its standing over ; and so, after I had gone to Avila, as I
have said, without any thought of making the foundation
then, she did not let it rest ; but, thinking there was nothing
needed but the city's permission, she began, without telling
me, to set to work to get it.

Dona Catalina had two neighbours, mother and daughter,
great people, and good servants of God, who earnestly desired
the foundation. The mother was Dona Maria Manrique.
She had a son, Don Alonso de Santo Domingo Manrique, who
was a town councillor. Her daughter was called Dona
Catalina. These two ladies talked to him about his asking
the council's leave. He spoke to Catalina de Tolosa, asking,
What means of subsistence should he say we possessed ? For

CARMELITE CONVENT AT GRANADA

Burgos 251

if we had none, the council would not consent. She told him
that she would pledge herself (and so she did) to give us a
house if we needed one, and our food, and thereupon she
gave in a petition signed with her name. Don Alonso went
so prudently to work that he got the leave of all the
councillors, and went to the Archbishop taking him the
written licence.

Directly Dona Catalina had set to work, she wrote to me,
saying that she was in treaty about it. I did not take it
seriously, knowing how unwilling people are to permit
convents founded without endowment ; and as I did not
know, nor did it enter my head, that she was so binding
herself, I thought that much more had to be done. However,
one day within the Octave of Martinmas, while I was
commending the matter to our Lord, I considered what was to
be done if the licence were given. As for going to Burgos
myself, that seemed out of the question, considering my
infirmities ; for, being so chilly as I am, cold is very bad for
me : and it seemed rash to set out on so long a journey
when I had only just made a journey so trying as that from
Soria, of which I have spoken : nor would the Father
Provincial allow me to go. I thought the Prioress of
Palencia might well go ; for, everything being plain and
easy, there would be nothing to do.

While I was considering this, and quite decided not
to go myself, our Lord said to me the following words, from
which I saw that the licence was already granted : Pay
no regard to the cold, for I am the true warmth. The
devil is putting out all his strength to hinder this founda-
tion ; put out all thine on My side, that it may be made ;
and fail not to go thyself, for great fruit will come of it.
This made me change my mind. Although nature sometimes

252 Chapter XXXI

*

hangs back in laborious undertakings, yet my resolution
to suffer for our great God never flags : and so I pray
Him not to regard the feelings which come from my weak-
ness, but to bid me do whatsoever may please Him, for
with His help I shall not fail to carry it out.

There was snow at the time : but what made me most
cowardly was my poor health ; for, with good health, I think
I should have made nothing of it. This was what all along-
weighed me down in making this foundation : the cold was
so little, at least I felt it so little, that I really think I felt it
no more than I did at Toledo. Well did our Lord fulfil His
word in this.

Only a few days later the licence was brought me, with
letters from Catalina de Tolosa and her friend Dona Catalina,
bidding me make great haste, because she was afraid there
might be some mischance: for at that very time the Order of
the Vitorinos1 had come to make a foundation, and the
Carmelites of the Mitigation had been there a long time also
trying to make a foundation. The monks of St Basil had
come since. And this made a great difficulty ; and it was
a remarkable thing that so many of us should have come
all together at the same time : and yet one could only thank
God for the great liberality of the place ; for the city gave its
consent most willingly, although it was not so prosperous as
it was wont. I have always heard the city well spoken of for
its liberality; but I did not suppose it would come to so much
as this. Some were in favour of one Order, some of another.
But the Archbishop, considering all the difficulties it might

1 The Minims of St Francis de Paula, who in Spain are commonly
called Frailes Vitorios or Frailes de la Victoria, because their coming
into Spain coincided with the taking of Granada.

CARMELITE CONVENT AT GRANADA

Burgos 253

cause, hindered it1, thinking that it might be doing a wrong to
the existing Houses which were without endowment, taking
away their means of support. Perhaps these themselves had
made representations to him, or it may have been suggested
by the devil in order to prevent the great good which God
works in places to which He brings many monasteries: for He
is able to maintain many as easily as few.

This, then, was the reason why those saintly women
hurried me on : and, if I had done as I pleased, I should have
started immediately, only I had other business to do : for I
considered how much more I was bound not to miss an oppor-
tunity for myself than those whom I saw to be so zealous.

The words which I had heard apprised me that there
would be great opposition. I could not tell from whom, nor
wherefore : for Catalina de Tolosa had already written to me
that she had secured the house in which she was living for us
to take possession of; the city had agreed, and the Archbishop
also. I could not imagine from whom the opposition was to
come which the demons were going to raise: yet I did not
doubt that the words I had heard were from God. But God
gives more light to Superiors : for when I wrote to the Father
Provincial about going to Burgos on account of what had been
said to me, he did not forbid me, but he asked whether I had
the Archbishop's licence in writing. I answered that they
had written to me from Burgos saying that they had arranged
with him; and that the city's licence had been obtained and
the Archbishop was satisfied with it: this together with all
that he had said about the affair, seemed to leave no doubt.

1 The Canon law prescribes that monasteries which live by alms are
not to be founded without consultation with the Mendicants and other
Regulars in the place, to see whether the new foundation would be likely
to injure their welfare.

254 Chapter XXXI

The Father Provincial was pleased to go with us to this
foundation. This must have been partly because he was
disengaged at the time; for he had just finished preaching in
Advent, and he had to visit the Convent at Soria, which he
had not seen since its foundation, and this was not much out
of his way. Partly it was to look after my health on the
journey, the weather being so bad, and I so old and infirm,
and my life seeming to them of some consequence. And this
was certainly God's ordering : for they were such roads, with
a great deal of water out, that it was quite necessary that he
and his companions should go on ahead to see where we could
pass, and to help to get the carts out of bogs, especially on
the way from Palencia to Burgos. It was really foolhardy to
set out from Palencia when we did. It is true that our Lord
had said to me that we could very well go, that I need not
fear, for He would be with us. I did not tell this to the
Father Provincial at the time ; but to me it gave assurance
in the great difficulties and dangers which we met with.
Especially at a certain crossing near Burgos called The
Pontoons, where, on account of the frequent floods, the water
was out so high that the passage could not be seen nor guessed
at: nothing but water; and on either side of the road it
was very deep. Indeed it is very rash to go that way,
especially with carts, with which, if they go but a little to one
side, it is all over with them; and accordingly one of ours did
get into danger. From a wayside inn before we came to this
place we took a guide who knew the passage; but it certainly
is very dangerous.

Then the inns I1 For we could not go a full day's journey

1 " They at least are in no way altered — this link, at all events, between
now and then is not missing. You can see it any day, the wretched
wayside venta, dark as a cave inside, its mud floor trodden into a puddle

Burgos 255

.-

because of the bad state of the roads. It was a quite common
thing for the carts to sink into the mud so that they had to
take the mules from one cart to help to drag out another.

The Fathers who went with us had a great deal to go
through, for we happened to have got drivers who were young
and careless. To be travelling with the Father Provincial
was a great comfort, for he took care of everything, and was
so even tempered that no difficulties seemed to put him out,
but what was really serious he made nothing of, so that it
seemed of no account. Not at The Pontoons, however : there
he was in considerable fear. For to see ourselves go into
a world of water without a way or a boat, even though our
Lord had given me an assurance, I was not without fear,
what then must my companions have felt!

There were eight of us travelling, two who were to return
with me, and five who were to remain at Burgos, four choir
Sisters and one lay. I do not think I have said who the
Father Provincial was : it was Fray Gertfnimo Gracian of the
Mother of God, whom I have mentioned elsewhere. I myself
was suffering from a very bad sore throat, which I got on the
journey to Valladolid, and from continued fever : the pain was
so severe that it prevented me from entering as I otherwise
should into the amusement of the adventures of the journey.
I have the sore throat still ; (that is, at the end of June,) not
nearly so severe as it was, but still extremely painful. All
the nuns enjoyed the journey; because when any danger was
past, it was a pleasure to talk over it. It is a great thing to

by the passage in and out of men and beasts. A little straw or dried
dung, perhaps, if a little better-to-do, some dried vine-shoots, burn in the
midst of the floor, the smoke going out through a hole in the roof. The
misery of the roads and weather nothing to the intolerable misery, fleas,
and dirt within." Cunninghame Graham, Santa Teresa, vol. ii. p. 349.

256 Chapter XXXI

suffer for obedience' sake when anyone, like those nuns, lives
under it continually.

In spite of this bad road we arrived at Burgos, passing
through a great deal of water which was out near the town.
The Father would have us first go to visit the Holy Crucifix1,
to commend our undertaking to Him, and to wait for night-
fall; for it was early. It was a Thursday, January 26th, the
day after the Conversion of St Paul, when we arrived. We
came determined to make the foundation immediately, and I
took with me several letters from Canon Salinas, of whom I
have spoken in my account of the foundation at Palencia-
and this foundation cost him no less trouble— and from
influential people, earnestly requesting their relations and
other friends to help on our undertaking. This they did;
for at once, next day, they came to see me, and came as
delegates from the City Council, saying that they did not
repent of what they had said, but were glad that I had come,
and I must see what they could help me in. If we had had
any fears, it was about the city's mind, so we thought all was
now made smooth : and indeed we had intended before anyone
else could know of our coming (but because of the floods no
one could well get to the house of the good Catalina de
Tolosa) to inform the Archbishop, so that the first mass
might be said without delay, as is my practice almost
everywhere ; but because of this it was left undone. We
rested that night in great comfort, by the kindness of that
saintly woman. But it brought me some suffering: for a
great fire was made for us to dry our things ; and although it
was in a chimney, it did me so much harm that next day I could
not raise my head, so that I had to talk lying down to those

1 The celebrated Christ of Burgos, which was at that time in the
Convent of St Augustine.

Burgos 257

who came to see me. I spoke through a grated window, over
which we stretched a curtain. As it was a day when I was
absolutely obliged to transact business, it was very uncomfort-
able for me.

Early next morning the Father Provincial went to the
Most Illustrious to ask his blessing ; for we thought that was
all there was to be done. He found him perturbed and
angry at my having come without his licence, as if he had
never told me to come nor had anything to do with the
matter. So he spoke to the Father Provincial very angrily
about me. He admitted indeed that he had bid me come,
but said that he only meant me to come alone to make
arrangements; but to come with so many nuns, God deliver
us from the annoyance it gave him ! It was of no use telling
him that the matter was already arranged with the city, as he
had required ; that there was nothing left to be done but make
the foundation; nor that, when I had asked the Bishop of
Palencia whether it would be right to come without first
informing his Lordship, he had said there was no need, as he
had already said he wished it. It had taken place thus,
because God willed that the house should be founded : and so
the Archbishop himself has since said; because if we had
plainly told him we were coming, he would have forbidden it.
Thereupon he dismissed the Father Provincial, saying that
unless we had an endowment and a house of our own he would
on no account give the licence, and we might as well go back.
Pretty roads indeed, and lovely weather for it !

0 my Lord, when anyone has done Thee some service,
how certain it is to be at once repaid with a heavy cross!
And what a precious reward it is to those who truly love
Thee, if at once it is given us to realise its value! But at
that time we did not welcome our gain, because it seemed to

T. F. 17

258 Chapter XXXI

make everything impossible ; for the Archbishop said besides
that the endowment and purchase-money were not to be
drawn from any dowry the nuns might bring us. Then, as
such a thing was not to be thought of in these present days,
there was clearly nothing to be done. I however did not
think so : because I remained assured that all was for the best,
and only devices of the devil to hinder us, but that God would
make His work succeed.

Upon this the Provincial came away in very good spirits,
and not discomposed. God so ordained it, causing him not
to be angry with me for not having obtained the licence in
writing, as he had asked.

There had been with me some of the friends to whom, as
I have said, Canon Salinas had written. They and his
relations came at once, and they resolved that the Arch-
bishop's leave should be asked to have mass said in our house,
so that we need not go through the streets, for they were deep
in mud, and it was not fitting for Barefoot nuns to go. In our
house, too, there was a suitable room, which had been the
chapel of the Company of Jesus when first they came to
Burgos, where they had been more than ten years ; and this
being the case, we thought there was nothing against our
taking possession there until we had a house of our own.
Never could the Archbishop be prevailed upon to let us hear
mass there, although two Canons went to beg it of him. All
that we obtained from him was that, when we had got the en-
dowment, we might make the foundation there until we had
bought a house ; and for the purchase of the house we were
to give sureties, and that we were not to move from where we
were.

The sureties we found at once: for Canon Salinas' friends
volunteered that ; and Catalina de Tolosa to give the

Burgos 259

endowment. In the discussion of ways and means, more
than three weeks must have gone by, and there were we not
hearing mass except very early on festivals, and I with a fever
and very unwell. However, Catalina de Tolosa took such
care of us that I was in great comfort ; and she gave all of us
our meals during that month, in an apartment which we had
to ourselves, with as good a will as if she had been the mother
of every one of us. The Father Provincial and his companions
stayed in the house of a college friend of his, Doctor Manso,
who was a Canon preacher of the Cathedral. It was a great
annoyance to him to be detained there so long, yet he did not
see how he could leave us.

Well, when the sureties and the endowment had been
arranged for, the Archbishop told us to put it into the hands
of his Vicar-general, that it might be settled at once. The
devil must have got at him : for when all had been thoroughly
gone into, and we thought there could be no further cause of
delay, having spent about a month in getting the Archbishop
to be satisfied with what we were doing, the Vicar-general sent
me a memorandum saying that the licence would not be given
until we had a house of our own; that the Archbishop did
not like us to make the foundation in the house we were in,
because it was damp and in a noisy street; and all sorts of
rigmaroles about the securities of the property and other such
things, just as if the negotiations were only just beginning:
there was to be no more discussion ; and the house must be to
the satisfaction of the Archbishop.

Strongly roused was the Father Provincial's feeling when
he heard this, and so with us all : for everyone knows that it
must be a long business to buy a place for a convent; and
it distressed him to see us going out to hear mass. For,
though the church was not far off, and we heard mass in a

17—2

260 Chapter XXXI

chapel where nobody could see us, yet to His Reverence and
to us the turn things had taken was a great distress.

Indeed at that time, I think, he came to the conclusion
that we must go away. I could not bear to do this, when I
remembered what our Lord had said to me, that I was to do
my best to make this foundation for His sake ; and I was so
confident that it would be accomplished that these things
hardly distressed me, only I was grieved for the distress of the
Father Provincial, and very sorry that he had come with us,
not knowing how much his friends would help us, as I shall
soon relate. While I was in this trouble (and my companions
also were in great trouble; but I did not mind theirs, but
only the Provincial's) our Lord, without my being in prayer,
said to me these words, Now, Theresa, stand firm. Upon
this, I more earnestly pressed the Father Provincial to go
away and leave us : (and His Majesty must have brought this
home to him) for it was already near Lent, when he was bound
to go and preach.

He and his friends arranged that we should be given
certain rooms in the Hospital of the Conception; for the
Blessed Sacrament was there, and daily mass : and with this
arrangement he was fairly satisfied. However, there was not
a little to be gone through in getting this : for a widow in the
town had hired one of the best apartments ; and although she
was not going into it until the half-year, she not only refused
to lend it to us, but also was angry because we were given
some attic rooms, one of which opened into her quarters. She
was not satisfied with locking it from outside, but also had
bars put across on the inside. Besides this, the Confraternity
imagined that we were going to appropriate the hospital : an
absurdity ; but God would have us merit more thereby. They
made the Father Provincial and me promise before a notary

Burgos 261

that when we were given notice to quit, we would do so
immediately. This I thought the greatest difficulty, because
I was afraid of the widow, who was rich and had relations
there; lest whenever the fancy took her, she would make us
go. The Father Provincial, however, being wiser than I,
would have us do whatever they wished, to get in quickly.
They only gave us two rooms and a kitchen. But the
superintendent of the hospital, Hernando de Matanza, was a
great servant of God ; and he gave us two more for a parlour,
and was most kind to us, as indeed he is to everyone, and he
does a great deal for the poor. So also was Francisco de
Cuevas, who has a great deal to do with the hospital, and is
postmaster of Burgos: he always has shewed us kindness at
every opportunity.

I am naming our benefactors in these beginnings, because
our nuns present and to come ought to remember them in
their prayers. This they owe still more to founders. And,
although I never meant Catalina de Tolosa to be one, nor did
it enter my head; yet her good life obtained this from our
Lord, Who so ordered matters that she is undeniably our
foundress. For, let alone paying for the house, which we
could not have done, no words can say what the shifts of the
Archbishop cost her. For it was a terrible distress to her to
think that the foundation might not be made. And she was
never weary of doing us good. The hospital was a long way
from her house, but almost every day she came to see us most
willingly, and sent us all we needed. And because of this
people kept continually saying disagreeable things to her,
enough to make her give it all up, if she had not been the
courageous woman she is. It was a sore grief to me to see all
that she went through ; for, although she mostly concealed it,
she could not always hide it, especially when they appealed to

262 Chapter XXXI

her conscience ; for she had so delicate a conscience that,
amidst all the great provocations she received from certain
people, I never heard from her a word which could offend God,
They told her that she was on the way to hell, for how could
she, when she had children of her own, act as she was doing?
All that she did was with the approval of learned men : for,
even if she had wished it, I would not for anything in the
world have consented to her doing what she ought not, not
for a thousand convents, much less one. But, as the plan
we were discussing was kept secret, I am not surprised that
people's imagination was the more active. She answered with
a prudence which she possesses abundantly, and bore it so
well that it shewed God was teaching her the art of pleasing
some and putting up with others, and was ^giving her courage,
to bear it all. How much more courage for great things have-
the servants of God than the highborn people who are not His
servants! — Not but that Catalina herself was of the purest
descent; for she is very much of a hidalgo1.

Well, to return to what I was saying, when the Father
Provincial had found us a place where we could hear mass and
be enclosed, he took heart, and went off to Valladolid, where
he had to preach, although very unhappy at not seeing in the
Archbishop any sign from which we might hope he would give
the licence. And though I always maintained he would, he
could not believe it, and indeed he had great reasons which I
need not tell for thinking as he did : and if he had little hope,,
his friends had less, and made him still more disheartened..
It was a real relief to me to see him gone, because, as I have
said, my greatest trouble was his.

He left instructions to get a house to have for our own ; a

very difficult matter, for up to that time we had not found one

1 [Hijadalgo : daughter of a somebody ; lit. daughter of something. Tr.}

Burgos 263

which could be bought. Our friends, especially the Father
Provincial's, now felt themselves more responsible for our
affairs; and they all agreed not to say a word to the Arch-
bishop until we had got a house. The Archbishop always said
that he desired the foundation more than anyone; and I
believe it : for he is such a good Christian that he would not
say it if it were not true. His conduct did not shew it; for
he imposed conditions which, to all appearance, we could not
possibly fulfil: this was the devil's device to prevent the
foundation. But, 0 Lord, how well is it shewn that Thou art
mighty! For the very means which he devised to stop it,
Thou didst adopt for making it better. Blessed be Thou for
ever!

From the Eve of St Matthias, when we went into the
hospital, until the Eve of St Joseph, we kept inquiring about
this and that house. They all had so many drawbacks that
none which was for sale would do for us to buy. I had been
told of one belonging to a gentleman which had been for some
time for sale : and though so many Orders had been looking for
houses, it pleased God that none of them liked it — at which
they all are now astonished, and some indeed greatly regret
it. One of the two people had mentioned it to me ; but so many
people had described it as bad that I had quite put it out of
my thoughts as unsuitable.

One day when the licentiate Aguiar, one of our Father's
friends, was with me, and was telling me about some houses he
had seen, — for he was making a careful search for us — and
saying there was not one suitable in all the place, — nor did it
seem possible to find one, from what they told me — I re-
membered this one which, as I have said, we had given up
thinking of ; and it occurred to me that, even if it was as bad
as they said, it might serve as a refuge in our need, and we

264 Chapter XXXI

might afterwards sell it ; so I asked the licentiate Aguiar if he
would do me the kindness of looking at it. He thought this
not a bad plan. He had not seen the house; and he chose
to go at once, although it was a rough stormy day.

There was a tenant in it who was unwilling that it should
be sold and would not shew it him ; but he was much pleased
with the site and what could be seen of the house, and so we
resolved to see about buying it. The gentleman who owned
it was not at Burgos, but he had given authority to sell it to
an ecclesiastic, a servant of God, into whose heart God put the
desire to sell it us, and to deal quite fairly with us. It was
agreed that I should go to see it. I was so extremely pleased
with it that if they had asked twice as much as what we
understood they did, I should have considered it cheap : and
that is not saying much, for, two years before, that sum had
been offered to the owner, and he would not sell. Immediately
on the next day the ecclesiastic came, and the licentiate, who,
when he saw what the ecclesiastic was satisfied with, would
have wished to conclude the bargain at once. I had told
some friends about it, and they had said that, if I gave that,
I should be giving five hundred ducats too much. I told him
this ; but he thought the house was cheap even if I gave as
much as was asked. So did I, and that I need not delay,
because the house seemed to be almost given away : yet as the
money belonged to the Order, I felt some scruple. This
meeting took place on the Eve of the glorious St Joseph, before
mass : I said we would meet again after mass and settle it.
The licentiate is a man of very clear understanding, and he saw
plainly that if the thing got abroad, we should find we had to
pay much more or not get the house. So he pushed the
matter on, and made the ecclesiastic promise to come back
after mass.

Burgos 265

"We nuns went to commend the matter to God; and He
said to me, Art thou holding back for money1? giving me to
understand that it was the right house for us. The Sisters
had often besought St Joseph that they might have a house
by his Day ; and, although they had no idea it could be done
so quickly, their desire was fulfilled. Everyone urged me to
conclude the bargain : and so it was done ; for the licentiate
met a notary at the door, which seemed providential, and
came in with him and said we must settle it, and brought in
a witness; and having locked the door of the room, that
nobody might know — for that was what he was afraid of — the
purchase was effected in all legal security, on the Eve of
St Joseph, as I have said, through the energy and intelligence
of this kind friend.

Nobody thought it would be sold so cheap : and so when
the news began to get abroad, purchasers began to come
forward saying that the ecclesiastic who made the bargain had
sold it below its value, and that the sale must be set aside
because it was a great fraud. The good ecclesiastic had much
to bear. It was at once reported to the owners of the house ;
who were, as I said, a gentleman of considerable position and
his wife. But they were so delighted at their house being
made into a convent that they gave their approval — though
indeed they had no choice. Immediately on the day after,
the deeds were executed, and the third part of the price was
paid, exactly as the ecclesiastic asked : for in some points of
the contract they pressed us unduly, but for his sake we
accepted it all.

It may seem to be going out of my way to spend so much
time in. narrating the purchase of a house : but really the thing
seemed nothing less than a miracle to those who considered it
carefully : both the low price, and also that so many members

266 Chapter XXXI

of Religious Orders who had seen it had been blinded so that
they did not take it. Those who afterwards saw it were
amazed, as if it had not been all the time in Burgos, and
blamed them and called them foolish. There was a convent of
nuns engaged in seeking a house, and two more: one which
had only lately been founded, and one which had come into
the city from outside because their house had been burned
down. And there was another wealthy person seeking to
found a monastery, who had seen this house a little before,
and had set it on one side. All these were now bitterly
repenting it. The talk in the city was such that we saw
clearly how wise the good licentiate had been in keeping it
secret and hastening it on : for we may truly say that, under
God, it was he who gave us the house. A good head for
business is worth much. His is first rate; and God gave him
the good will : and so the work was accomplished by means of
him.

He spent over a month in helping us and making plans
for fitting up the house conveniently and cheaply. It seemed
indeed that our Lord must have reserved this house for
Himself; for it all seemed almost to have been made on
purpose for us. Indeed, directly I saw it, all just as if it had
been made for us, it seemed like a dream that it should be
done so quickly. Well did our Lord repay us for what we had
been through, by bringing us into a paradise — for with its
garden, its views, and its water it seems no less. May He be
blessed for ever ! Amen.

The Archbishop heard of it immediately, and was delighted
that all had turned out so well, and put it down to his own
obstinacy — and quite rightly. I wrote to him that it gave me
great pleasure to hear that it was to his satisfaction, and
I would make haste in fitting up the house, so that I might at

Burgos 267

last gain his gracious permission. At the same time that I
thus wrote, I made haste to get into the house; because I
was warned that otherwise we should be detained where we
were until all sorts of papers were signed. And so, although
the tenant was still there, and it took a little time to get him
out, we went into a part of it. I was told at once that the
Archbishop was very indignant at this. I appeased him as
best I might : and being a good man, even if he is angry, it
soon passes off. He was angry too, when he heard that we
had got gratings and a turn ; for he thought it meant that I
meant to found, whether or no. I wrote to him saying I did
not, but that in a house of enclosed nuns there were always
these things : and that I had not even ventured to put up a
cross, lest it might have that appearance: which was the
truth. With all the goodwill which he shewed, there was no
making him willing to grant the licence.

He came to see the house, and was 'much pleased with it,
and was very gracious to us, not so gracious, however, as to
give us the licence. But he did give us more hope, saying
there had to be some papers or other signed between us and
Catalina de Tolosa. There were great fears that he would not
give it at all: but Doctor Manso, the other friend of the
Father Provincial whom I have mentioned, being very intimate
with the Archbishop, watched for opportunities of reminding
him and persuading him ; for it grieved him to see us living
as we were living. For even in this house, although there
was a chapel which had never been used by the owners for
anything but saying mass, the Archbishop would not let us
have mass said in the house; on festivals and Sundays we
had to go out to hear it at a church which luckily was close at
hand. Yet it was about a month, more or less, from the time
when we went to the house, to the time when the foundation

268 Chapter XXXI

was made. All the learned men said that there was no valid
obstacle. The Archbishop is very learned, and knew this
too : so there seems to have been no reason for it but that our
Lord wished us to suffer. I, however, did not mind so much ;
but there was one nun who shook with misery when she
found herself in the street1.

We went through not a little in drawing up the deeds;
for at one time they were satisfied with sureties, and at
another they required the money ; and many other such
vexatiousnesses. This was not so much the fault of the
Archbishop as of a Vicar-general, who fought hard against us ;
so that if God had not opportunely sent him on a journey, so
that his office devolved on another, I think we should never
have got through. Oh, what Catalina de Tolosa suffered no
words can say ! She bore it all with marvellous patience, and
never wearied of providing for us. She gave us all the
furniture we required for setting up house, beds and many
other things, for she had plenty in her house ; and even if she
went without something in her own house, there was no
question of allowing us to go without. Some other women
who have founded convents for us have given us much
more money; but there is not one to whom it has cost a
tenth part of the trouble she had : and if she had had no
children, she would have given us all she had to give. But
she so earnestly desired to see the thing accomplished that she
thought nothing of all she did.

I, when I saw such long delays, wrote to the Bishop of

1 Not finding any better means of worrying St Theresa, he stipulated
that she must get the Nuncio's leave before she had mass said in the
Chapel. The Jesuits had had the Blessed Sacrament reserved for fourteen
years in the house which St Theresa first occupied ; and yet he would not
allow her to have mass said there.

Burgos 269

Palencia, begging him to write again to the Archbishop : for
he was much put out with him ; because he felt all that the
Archbishop did against us, as though done to himself. (And
what astonished us was that the Archbishop never seemed to
think he was doing us the least injury.) I begged him to
write again asking him to give his consent, now that we had
a house and what he required was done. He sent me, open,
such a letter to the Archbishop that if I had forwarded it, all
would have been lost for us. So Doctor Manso, who was my
confessor and adviser, would not let it go. For, although it
was exceedingly courteous, it conveyed certain truths which,
considering the Archbishop's temper, were enough to offend
him ; and so indeed he had been already by certain messages
the Bishop had sent him. And they were great friends.
And to me he said that, as through the death of our Lord
those had been made friends who were not so before, so now
through me these two had been made enemies. I answered
that by this he might see what sort of a person I was. I had,
as I thought, taken special care that they should not fall out.
I again entreated the Bishop, pleading the best arguments I
could, that he would write another very friendly letter, setting
before the Archbishop the service he would be doing to God.
He did what I asked, which was no light matter. But more
because he saw that it would be to God's service, and it was
doing me a kindness — for he has been uniformly kind to me.
Finally, he did violence to himself, and he wrote to me saying
that all he had done for the Order was nothing to compare
with this letter. In short, the letter was such that, together
with Doctor Manso's insistence, it made the Archbishop give
the licence, and he sent it by the good Hernando de Matanza,
who came with no little rejoicing. That day the Sisters had
been much sadder than ever, and there had been no consoling

270 Chapter XXXI

the good Catalina de Tolosa, and I myself, who had never
been hopeless, had been so the night before. It seemed that
our Lord was pleased to give us greater affliction just when He
was going to send us joy. Blessed be His Name for ever and
praised, world without end ! Amen.

The Archbishop gave leave to Doctor Manso to say mass
next day, and to reserve the Blessed Sacrament. He said the
first mass, and the High Mass was sung by the Father Prior
of St Paul's, of the Order of St Dominic, to which, and to the
Company of Jesus, our Order has always been greatly in-
debted. He, the Father Prior, sang it, with great magnificence
of musicians, who came of their own accord. All our friends
were rejoicing, and so was almost the whole city, for everyone
pitied our plight: and they so strongly condemned the
Archbishop's conduct that sometimes I minded what I
heard said of him more than what I myself was suffering.
The joy of the good Catalina de Tolosa and of the Sisters was
so great as to move my devotion, and I said to God, " 0 Lord,
what other aim have these Thy handmaidens save that of
serving Thee and being enclosed for Thy sake in a cloister
whence they are never more to go out ! "

No one who has not experienced it could believe the
fulness of satisfaction we feel in these foundations when at
length we find ourselves enclosed where no secular person may
enter; for however dearly we may love them, it does not
prevent us from being delighted to find ourselves alone. It
seems to me like as when a number of fishes are taken out of
the river in a net, which cannot live unless they are put back
into the water. So it is with souls which are used to living
within the flowing waters of their Spouse : when they are
drawn out thence and find themselves in the net of
worldly affairs, they really do cease to live until they find

Burgos 271

themselves back again. This I see always in all these Sisters;
this I know by experience : that nuns who find in themselves
any desire to go out among seculars, or to have much converse
with them, may well fear that they have not found that
living water of which our Lord spoke to the woman of
Samaria ; and that the Spouse has hidden Himself from
them, seeing that they are not content to dwell with Him.
I fear this arises from two causes : either that they have taken
upon themselves this estate not for His sake alone ; or that
since they took it, they have not recognised the greatness of
the favour which God has done them in choosing them for
Himself, and freeing them from subjection to a human being,
who often wears out their life, and pray God he may not
destroy their soul too ! 0 Thou, Very Man and Very God, Who
art my Spouse, is this a favour which can be lightly esteemed !
Let us praise Him, my daughters, for having granted it to us ;
and let us never be weary of praising so great a King and
Lord, Who, for a light endurance of hardship surrounded
with a thousand joys and lasting but a day, has prepared for
us a kingdom without end. Be He blessed for ever! Amen.
Amen.

Some time after the house was founded, the Father
Provincial and I came to think that in the endowment which
Catalina de Tolosa had given the house there were certain
drawbacks ; for there might be some law-suit, and some
annoyance might come upon her : and we felt we would rather
trust to God than let there remain any chance of her being in
any way troubled. So for this and for certain other reasons,
all we nuns, with the Father Provincial's sanction, renounced
before a notary the property which she had given us, and
returned her all the papers. This was done with great
secrecy, that the Archbishop might not hear of it; for he

272 Chapter XXXI

would have thought it an injury done him: whereas the
injury really is to the house. For when it is known that a
house is dependent on alms there is no fear, for everyone
helps it: but there is an apparent risk when a house is
thought to be endowed ; and it may be left for a time without
anything to eat.

So Catalina de Tolosa took means to ensure our support
after her death. Two daughters of hers who were to be
professed that year in our Convent at Palencia, had signed a
deed to renounce their property in her favour when they
should be professed. She caused them to revoke this, and to
renounce it in favour of the Convent at Burgos. And another
daughter, who desired to take the habit here1, left to this
house what she inherited from both father and mother. This
came to as much as the endowment ; the only drawback being
that the convent does not come into possession at once. But
I have always held that the Sisters will never be in want;
because our Lord, Who moves people to give alms to the
other convents which live by alms, will stir up people to do so
here, or give other means of maintenance.

However, as in no other house had such an arrangement
been made, I sometimes besought Him that, as the foundation
had been His will, so He would order affairs to the relief of its
necessities ; and I did not like to go away until I saw whether
anyone would enter it as a nun2. But one day when I was
thinking about this after my Communion, our Lord said to
me, Why dost thou doubt? This is already done with; thou
mayest safely depart : giving me to understand that their
needs would be supplied. For it was said in such a way that
I never troubled myself again any more than if I had been

1 [At Burgos. Tr.] 2 [i.e., bringing a dowry. Tr.]

St Joseph's, Avila 273

leaving them amply endowed : but I at once arranged to be
going ; for I felt I was no longer doing anything here, except
enjoying myself in this house which I so much like; while
elsewhere, although with more difficulty, I might be doing
more good.

The Archbishop and the Bishop of Palencia remained very
good friends; for the Archbishop soon shewed himself very
gracious towards us, and gave the habit to Catalina de
Tolosa's daughter, and to another nun who presently entered
the convent. And up to the present time certain people have
not failed to take care of us, nor will our Lord let His brides
suffer, if they serve Him as they are in duty bound. May His
Majesty, of His great mercy and goodness, grant them the
grace to do this !

JESUS.

I have thought it good to set down here how it is that
the nuns of St Joseph's at Avila, our first convent, whose
foundation is narrated elsewhere and not in this book, having
been founded under the Bishop's jurisdiction, afterwards passed
under that of the Order.

When it was founded, the Bishop was Don Alvaro de
Mendoza, who is now Bishop of Palencia. All the time he
was at Avila, the nuns were very well cared for. And when
the convent was placed under his jurisdiction, I understood
from our Lord that it was fitting so to place it. And so it
has since proved : because in all the disagreements within the
Order, we received great help from him ; and on many other
occasions too this was quite clear. And he never allowed
Visitations of the convent to be made by a secular priest ;

T. F. 18

274 Chapter XXXI

nor did the nuns do anything beyond what I asked of him.
Thus it went on for seventeen years more or less, so far
as I remember, nor did I meditate any change of juris-
diction.

At the end of this time, the Bishopric of Palencia was
given to the Bishop of Avila. At that time I was staying at
the convent at Toledo: and our Lord said to me that it
would be a good thing that the nuns of St Joseph's should
come under the jurisdiction of the Order; and that I must
bring this to pass, because otherwise the house would fall
into laxity. As I had formerly understood that it was better
for it to be under the Bishop, there seemed to be a con-
tradiction, and I did not know what to do. I told my
confessor, the present Bishop of Osma, a most learned man.
He said that this did not matter; but that one thing must
have been needful in the past, and another thing now. He
saw that it would be better for that convent to be united
with the others, and not to stand alone. And what he said
has already been very clearly shewn to be true, in many
ways.

He made me go to Avila to arrange for it. I found the
Bishop of a very different opinion, and he would by no means
agree to it. But, when I told him certain reasons why harm
might come to the nuns, he, having a great affection for them,
thought it over carefully : and having a very sound judgement,
and God helping him, he thought out other reasons more
weighty than what I had given him, and resolved to do it.
Although some secular priests went to try to dissuade him,
they did not prevail.

The votes of the nuns were necessary for this change:
some very much disliked it; but, as they loved me well,
they yielded to my reasonings : to this, especially ; that now

St Joseph's, Avila 275

the Bishop to whom the Order owed so much, and whom I
loved, was gone, they would not again have me with them
otherwise. This came home to them forcibly. Thus was
concluded a matter so important that, as they and everyone
else now see, the house would have gone to ruin if it had not
been carried out. Oh, blessed be our Lord Who with so great
solicitude considers all that concerns His handmaidens!
Blessed be He for evermore ! Amen.

18—2

INDEX

Acuna, Dona Maria de, 68 — 70
Aguiar, 263, 264

Ahumada, Teresa de (Saint The-
resa), viiff.
Alba, Duke of, 132

— Duchess of, asks Saint to make
foundation at Alba de Tormes,
132, 137

— de Tormes, death of Saint at,
ix, 25; foundation at, 132 ff.,
141

Alcala, monastery of Barefoot friars
at, 86 note, 158, 211 ; Chapter
held at, 236

Alerio, Fray Juan, 12 note
Alexander IV, Pope, 116 note
Alonso, Canon Juan, sent to Arch-
bishop of Burgos, 248
Alvarez, Baltasar, 16, 225

— Garci, helps Saint in founda-
tion of Seville, 177 ff.

Ana de la Encarnacion, 130 note
Andalusia, 165 and note; Veas in

ecclesiastical province of, 167,

176 note
Andrada, 97 ; finds house for Saint

at Toledo, 98

Angel de Salazar, Fray : see Salazar
Anna of St Bartholomew, The Ven. ,

227 and note

Anne of the Mother of God, 103
Antonio, Fray : see Heredia
Aragon, 12 note

Are"valo, Saint passes through, 18
Atocha, Prior of, 114 note
Augustine, St, Convent of, 256 note
Augustinians, Kecollet, Convent of,

129 note

Austria, Don John of, 202 note
Avila, town of, Saint's early life at,

vii ; Bishops of : see Mendoza

and Cuevas

— Convent of the Incarnation at,
Saint enters, ix ; Saint ordered to
go to, 141, 145, 146

— Convent of St Joseph at, ix,
xi, 4, 7, 12 ff . ; Saint leaves, 17,
25, 66, 85, 95, 166 note, 182,
189, 192; founded by Pope's
licence, 202, 223, 241; Saint's
journey to, 244, 245, 248, 249 ;
Prioress resigns and Saint elected,
249 note ; passes from Bishop's
jurisdiction to that of Order of
Barefoot Carmelites, 273 ff.

— Juan de, 59 note

Baeza, Monastery of Barefoot friars

at, 86 note
Baltasar Alvarez : see Alvarez

— de Jesus, becomes Barefoot
friar, 113

Banez, Fray Domingo, 19 ; opinion
about visions, 59 ; advises Dona
Casilda de Padilla, 74, 78 note,
114 note, 132

278

Index

Barcelona, 12 note

Basil, St, Order of, 110 note ; at

Burgos, 252
Beatrice of the Mother of God,

history of, 182 ff.
Beatrice of Jesus, niece of St

Theresa, 103 note
Be* jar, Franciscan Convent at, 126

note

Boncompagni, Cardinal, 203 note
Borromeo, St Charles, 202 note
Buendia, Count of, 68, 70
Burgo de Osma, 241 and note
Burgos, Franciscan Convent at, 78

note, 223, 225 ; foundation at,

246 ff.
— Archbishop of: see Vela

Camarasa, Marquis of, 67

Canaries, Bishop of: see Vela
Caravaca, 158 ; licence for founda-
tion at, 166, 167, 174; foundation
at, 189 ff .

Cardona, Dona Catalina de, history
of, 210 ff .

Carranza, Bartolome', 95 note

Carthusians, 24, 180 note

Castille, Governor of, 68 and note,
95 ; laws of, respecting married
women's property, 130 note ;
Father Gracian given commis-
sion for, 165 and note, 167 ;
Saint as " a sort of prisoner " in,
176 note

Cepeda, Lorencio de, Saint's
brother, helps in foundation at
Seville, 176 ff., 194, 199 note

Cerda, Dona Luisa de la, Saint
visits, 63 and note ; endows
Convent of St Joseph at Mala-
gon, 64, 95

Cifico Villas, Don Luis of, builds
chapel at Mancera, 91 ; builds
monastery for Barefoot friars at
Mancera, 92

Cloth, Fathers of the, 84 note

Cobos, Knight Commander, 67

Coca, 236 note

Conception, Hospital of the, Burgos,

260, 261
Cordova, Saint and Sisters arrive

at, 170 ; Father Julian says mass:

disturbance caused by arrival of

Sisters, 171—173
Cuellar, Francisca de, of the Cross,

189 note, 189 ff.
Cuevas, Francisco, postmaster of

Burgos, shews kindness to Saint,

261

— Fray Juan Velasquez de las,
Prior at Talavera, 236; Bishop
of Avila, 236 note

— Las, Prior of Carthusian
monastery at : see Pantoja

Doria, Fray Nicolas of Jesus Maria,
240 and note, 244

Duruelo, foundation of Barefoot
friars at, 88-93 ; moved to Man-
cera, 92

Eboli, Prince of : see Gomez

— Princess of : see Mendoza
Ervias, Dr Augustin, helps Saint in

foundation at Villanueva de la

Jara, 205 ff.
Escorial, 51 note
Estefania of the Apostles, lay Sister,

73

Fernandez, Fray Pedro, Apostolic
Commissary, orders Saint to go
to Convent of Incarnation for
three years, 141; consents to
foundation at Veas, 147 ; Apos-
tolic Visitor in Castille, 166 note ;
appointed by King to consider
cause of Barefoot Carmelites,
204 and note

Francis de Paula, St, Order of
Minims of, 252 note

Franciscans, 126 note ; lawsuit
with, 145, 178

Franco, Alonso, 103 note

Fuente, Mateo de la, Father, 110
and note

Index

279

Fuente, Vicente de la, publishes
vol. i of Saint's works, vii, xii, xiii
Fuentes, Count of, 129 note

Gabriel of the Assumption, Fray,
Prior of Our Lady of Succour,
helps Saint in foundation at
Villanueva de la Jara, 206 ff.

Gaytan, Antonio, accompanies
Saint to Segovia, 143 ; to Seville,
168, 173 ; sent to Caravaca to
prepare for foundation, 190-192

Ger6nimo : see Gracian

Geronimo, San, monastery of,
246

Godinez de Sandoval, Dona Cata-
lina, 147

— Dona Catalina, daughter of
above, history of, 147 ff.

— Dona Maria, sister of above,
147 ff.

Gomez de Silva, Ruy, Prince, gives
hermitage at Pastrana, 112, 113 ;
death of, 114, 214

Gonzalez, Fray Alonso, appointed
Provincial, 13 note ; gives licence
for foundation at Duruelo, 87

— de Mendoza, Don Pedro, 116
and note

Gracian, Fray Geronimo of the
Mother of God, meets Saint at
Veas, 158; visits Prioress at
Pastrana, 161 ; becomes Barefoot
friar at Pastrana, 162, 163;
father of, 162 note ; made Apos-
tolic Commissary, 164, 165 note,
168 ; advises Saint to found Con-
vent at Seville, 167, 174, 185;
preaches at Triana, 186; sends
Saint to Seville, 192; orders
Saint to finish account of founda-
tions, 200 ; persecution of, 203 ;
elected Provincial at Chapter of
Alcala, 236 ; visits St Joseph's,
Avila, 249, 251 ; escorts Saint to
Burgos, 254 ff. ; expelled from
Order, 159 note

Granada, 252 note

Grasa, Eaimundo de, Fray, at

Perpignan, 12 note
Gregory XIII, 165 note, 203 note
Guadalquivir, crossing of, 169
Gutierrez, Nicolas, gets ready house

at Salamanca, 125, 129

Heredia, Antonio de, of Jesus,
Fray, helps Saint in foundation
at Medina del Campo, 17, 19 ;
resigns Priorshipand joins Bare-
foot friars, 84 ff . ; sent for to
found monastery at Pastrana,
113, 114, 164 ; persecution of,
203 ff. ; helps Saint in founda-
tion at Villanueva de la Jara,
206 ff.

Hernandez, Paul, Father of the
Company of Jesus, advises Ra-
mirez to found Convent at Toledo,
94

Herrera, helps to found at Segovia,
145

Incarnation, Convent of the : see

Avila

Infantado, Duke of, 117 note
Isabel, de Santo Domingo, Mother,

114 note

— Saint, Convent of, 126

Jaen, Convent at, 155 note
James, St, Knights of, 146 and note,

152
Jimena, Andres de, 143

— Dona Ana de, helps Saint in
foundation at Segovia, and enters
Convent, 142

John of the Cross, St, 24 and note,
66 and note; becomes Barefoot
friar, 84; visits Saint at Valla-
dolid, 86 ; prepares house at
Pastrana, 88 ; accompanies Saint
to foundation at Segovia, 143
and note

Juan de la Miseria, lay Brother,
paints portrait of Saint, frontis-
piece, 109, 155

280

Index

Juan of Jesus, Fray, enters mon-
astery at Pastrana as lay Brother,
159 '

Julian of Avila, chaplain of St
Joseph's Convent, 16, 17 ; ob-
tains licence for foundation at
Valladolid, 66 ; accompanies
Saint to found first monastery
of Barefoot friars, 85 ; at Sala-
manca, 128; accompanies Saint
to Segovia, 143, 144 ; to Seville,
168 ; says mass in Cordova, 171,
172 note ; sent to Caravaca to
inquire about making foundation
there, 190-192

Knights Commanders, 191

Layz, Teresa de, history of, 133 ff .
Leon, Fray Juan de, 216
Leucadia, St, parish of, 103 note
Luis of Granada, 220
Lutherans, 21 and note, 118

Madre de Dios, Convent of, 129 note

Madrid, Saint lodges at, 109 ;
Gracian at, 160, 166 note, 174 ;
Saint's desire to found at, 241

Malagon, foundation at, 63 ff., 95,
123, 192, 197, 206, 208, 209

Maldonado, Fray Alonso, inter-
views Saint, 10

Mancera, foundation, 86 note ;
monastery moved from Duruelo
to, 91, 92, 113, 214

Manrique, Don Alonso de Santo
Domingo, Town Councillor, gets
leave from Council for foundation
at Burgos, 250, 251

— Dona Catalina, helps in founda-
tion at Burgos, 250 ff.

— Dona Maria, helps in founda-
tion at Burgos, 250 ff.

— Don Pedro, 95, 100

Manso, Dr, helps in foundation at
Burgos, 259 ff.

Maria, Bautista, Prioress of Valla-
dolid, 166 note, 223, 225

Maria de San Jos6, of Molino,
Prioress of Seville, 178 and note

Maria of the Sacrament, 126

Mariana, Dona, 129

Mariano de San Benito, Father,
history of, 109 ff. ; helps to make
foundation at Seville, 172 ff. ; per-
secution of, 203; sees vision, 215

Martin of the Cross, Brother,
97

Mascarenas, Dona Leonor, 109

Matanza, Hernando de, Superin-
tendent of Hospital of Concep-
tion, provides Saint with rooms
at Burgos, 261 ; conveys licence
for foundation at Burgos, 269

Medina del Campo, foundation at,
16-25, 63, 66, 84, 86, 90, 113, 117,
125

Medinaceli, Duke of, Saint stays
with sister of, 63

Mendoza, Don Alvaro de, Bishop of
Avila, seeks to establish mon-
asteries of Barefoot friars, 14,
68, 87, 116 and note ; asked by
Saint to obtain licence for Con-
vent at Pastrana, 112 ; translated
to Palencia, 223, 274; builds
chapel in Convent at Palencia,
235 ; helps Saint in foundation
at Burgos, 246 ff. ; care for St
Joseph's Convent, Avila, 273

— Dona Ana de, Princess of
Eboli, sends for Saint, 108, and
note ; receives Saint at Pastrana,
113 ; kindness to nuns, 114 ; be-
comes nun at Pastrana, 114 and
note ; takes off habit, 115, 214

— Dona Maria de, sister of Don
Alvaro, 67 ; helps foundation at
Duruelo, 87

— Don Pedro Gonzalez de, 116
and note

Monterey, 129 note

Moriz, Don Juan, Bishop of Bar-

bastro, 125 note
Moya, Eodrigo de, 189 ; lends part

of his house at Caravaca, 191

Index

281

Navarre, Dona Beatriz de Veamonte
and: see Veamonte

Onez, Beatriz, history of, 79-83
Ormaneto, Nicolas, Nuncio, takes

side of Reformed Carmelites, 165

note, 202 and note
Ortiz, Diego, 95

Osma, Bishop of : see Velasquez
Otalora, Dona Catalina de, 189

note, 189 ff.
Oviedo, Bishop of, 173 note

Padilla, Don Antonio de, takes the
habit, 69, 70

— Dona Luisa de, sister of above,
70

— Dona Casildade, sister of above,
history of, 71-79

Padua, Ormaneto, Bishop of, 202

note
Palencia, Bishop of : see Mendoza

— Foundation at, 223-238, 240,
244, 247, 248, 250; Prioress of,
251; Saint's journey to Burgos
from, 254, 272

Pantoja, Prior of Carthusian mon-
astery at Las Cuevas, helps Saint
at Seville, 179, 180

Pardo, Arias, 63 note

Pastrana, 86 note; foundation of
two monasteries, 107-115; Gra-
cian at, 159-161, 204 note;
Catalina de Cardona's visit to,
214, 215

Peter of Alcantara, St, advice of,
48, 220

Philip II, King of Spain, 12 note,
117 note; supports Reformed
Order in struggle with Mitigated,
165 note, 204 and note, 236, 237 ;
interest in Religious Orders, 192,
202 note

Pimentel, Dona Maria, Countess of
Monterey, 129

Pius V, 111 note, 204

Pius VI, 12 note

Poland, Queen of, 109

Pole, Cardinal, 202 note
Pontoons, The, Burgos, 254, 255
Porras, 227
Prudencio, Vicar- General, 234

Quiroga, Dona Elena de, helps
Saint in foundation at Medina
del Campo, 23

Rafael, Don, offers house for first
monastery of Barefoot friars, 84

Ramirez, Alonso Alvarez, 94 ;
negotiates with Saint respecting
foundation at Toledo, 95 ff.
— Martin, brother of above, ad-
vised on his death-bed to found
Convent at Toledo, 94 ; Chapel-
ries of, 103 note

Ransomers, lawsuit with, 145, 213

Reinoso, Canon, helps Saint in
foundation at Palencia, 226 ff.

Ribera, escorts Saint to Segovia,
244

Ripalda, Father Rector of the
Company of Jesus, orders Saint
to write account of Foundations,
4, 200; Saint consults, 224,
225

Rojas y Sandoval, Don Cristobal
de, Archbishop of Seville, 173
and note

Rossi : see Rubeo

Rubeo, Fray Juan Bautista, Father
General, 12 note, 13, 86, 103
note

Ruy Gomez : see Gomez

Salamanca, 4; St John of the
Cross student at, 24,51, 78 note;
foundation at, 116 ff., 135, 137;
Saint ordered by Apostolic Com-
missary to return to, 141, 142,
146, 166 note, 200, 236 note

Salazar, Fray Angel de, 13 note,
87, 207

Salinas, Canon, helps Saint in
foundation at Palencia, 228, 256,
258

282

Index

Sandoval, Dona Maria de: see
Godinez

— Don Sancho Rodriguez de, 147
Santiago, Bishop of, 243 note
Sega, Filipo, Nuncio, 202 and note
Segovia, 78 note ; Convent moved

from Pastrana to, 115 and note;

foundation at, 141 ff., 245
Seville, monastery of Barefoot

friars at, 86 note ; foundation

at, 158-189, 190, 192, 194, 198 ;

Saint's return journey from, 199

note, 201, 205
Soria, 235 ; foundation at, 238-245,

248, 251 ; visited by Gracian,

254

Talavera, Prior of, 236

Tamayo, 229, 231

Tardon, hermitages in, 110 and
note

Toledo, Saint stays with Dona
Luisa de la Cerda at, 63, 66, 90 ;
foundation at, 94 ff. ; Town
Council of, 96 and note, 103,
107, 109, 116, 142 ; Saint sent
to, as imprisonment, 176 note,
200, 205, 208, 212, 238, 252, 274

— Fray Garcia de, orders Saint to
write account of foundation at
Avila, 4

Tolosa, Dona Catalina de, helps

Saint in foundation at Burgos,

250 ff.

Tordillos, 133

Torres, Fray Francisco de, 211
Trent, Council of, 111, 117 note,

132, 172, 173 note, 202 note, 221

note, 247 note
Triana, Carmelite monastery at,

186

Valencia, 14

Valladolid, foundation at, 65-68,
80, 84-88, 94, 95 note, 142,
166 note ; Prioress at, 166
note; Saint's illness at, 223, 224
note, 226, 227, 235, 246, 250, 255,
262

Vanda, Pedro de la, objects to con-
ditions of purchase of house, 130
and note

Vargas, Apostolic Visitor of Car-
melites in Andalusia, 165 note

Veamonte, Beatriz de, founds Con-
vent at Soria, 239 ff.

— Don Frances de, 239

Veas, foundation at, 146 ff. ; Saint
meets Gracian at, 158, 165 and
note ; in ecclesiastical province
of Andalusia, 166 note, 167, 174,
189, 190, 191, 197

Vega, Suero de, 229

Vela, Don Cristobal, Archbishop
of Burgos, formerly Bishop of
Canaries, 246 note, 246 ff.

— Don Blasco Nunez, Viceroy of
Peru, father of above, 246 note

Velasquez, Doctor, Canon and Pro-
fessor at Toledo, afterwards
Bishop of Osma, Saint consults,
206 ; writes to Saint asking her
to found Convent at Soria, 238 ff.,
242 note ; Saint consults about
St Joseph's at Avila, 274

— Francisco, husband of Teresa
de Layz, 134

Villamayor, 131 note

Villanueva de la Jara, foundation

at, 201 ff.
Vitoria, Augustin de, helps Saint

in foundation atPalencia, 207, 227
Vitorinos, Order of, foundation at

Burgos, 252 and note

Zamora, 222

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